The ticking of the clock was the only sound to be heard. It was nearing 7 in the morning, and the only two occupants of the room were sound asleep. Brian slowly gained awareness. As his mind began to clear, he felt something light and warm on his hand. He slowly turned his head to the left and was surprised at the sight that greeted him.

Kevin, face pale behind the bruise, was sound asleep leaning on his bed. It was Kevin's hand that was touching his. Brian watched his cousin sleep a little longer, his heart aching with guilt as the memories of everything he had done surfaced once more. His eyes blurred with tears as he thought of all the harm he had caused. A soft voice spoke from the other side of the bed, startling him.

“He donated blood for you. There wasn’t enough of your type.”

Brian turned to the owner of the voice. “Leigh!”

Leighanne made her way over to him and quietly sat down in a chair next to his bed. Brian reached for her hand and clasped it tightly.

"I'm glad you're here," he smiled. "I'm... surprised, too," he said, his blue eyes darkening. "Leigh, since I've been gone..."

"They told me," Leighanne interrupted. "At least, from what they knew."

Brian closed his eyes and leaned back against his pillow. "I was so horrible," he choked. "I was a..."

"Shh." Leighanne leaned forward and wiped away a tear that had fallen. "You don't have to tell me now. We can wait until you're better."

Brian turned to look at Kevin once more. "He donated... for me?"

Leighanne nodded. "He wasn't going to let you die. Even with everything you did."

Brian closed his eyes, from both the revelation and the sudden wave of fatigue that hit him.

"Let me go get Zanell," Leigh said, slightly alarmed.

"She's here?"

"Everyone's here," she said. "Just rest a minute."

It seemed like only seconds before Brian opened his eyes to a touch on his arm. This time, he looked up into Zanell's concerned face.

"Brian, how do you feel?"

"Tired," he breathed. "Pretty weak."

"Are you cold?"

He frowned at the seemingly odd question. "Not really," he said. "Not physically, anyway," he added softly.

"That's a good sign. I think you're strong enough that I can heal you with my amulet now."

Brian looked up at her in surprise. "You'd... After all I've done, you'd still..."

"Yes. At the very least, we all need an explanation. Once you're healed, there's a lot of talking to be done." She held his gaze. "First things first. Are you ready?"

"I don't think I'll ever be ready," he admitted, "but go ahead."

Zanell activated her amulet. As she was about to touch Brian's chest, he stopped her.

"Wait, what about Kevin? He's still bruised... I would have thought you'd have healed him first, before the transfusion."

Zanell shook her head. "You know how Kevin can get that look in his eye? The stubborn, 'no debates’ look? He insisted I save my energy to heal you before tending to him."

Brian's jaw dropped slightly and he glanced back over at his sleeping cousin.

"Brian, please. You need to be healed."

"All right," he said at last. As he shut his eyes, his thoughts were on his friends, his family... and how miraculous it was that they hadn't totally abandoned him yet. Even though he deserved it.

As Zanell placed her hand on his chest, Brian knew this would only be a physical healing. The pain in his soul would have to be healed some other way. Brian felt waves of warmth cascade through his body as the amulet worked its magic. Breathing became easy again, and the overwhelming pain in his stomach and shoulder vanished by degrees. The fatigue disappeared and soon all that was left of his pain was a memory. A horrible memory that he hoped could be buried.

Zanell leaned back, the amulet dulling as the healing session ended. Brian stretched carefully, amazed to find no aches or pains anywhere. He sat up, giving the Princess a grateful look.

"Thank you," he said sincerely.

Zanell gave a tired smile. "You're welcome, Brian."

Brian looked over at Kevin again and placed his hand over his cousin's and gave a gentle squeeze. Kevin stirred and opened his eyes.

“Kevin?”

Kevin raised his head at the voice. When he saw who had called him, he sat up quickly. A little too quickly. His ribs burned and he put a hand over them as he groaned.

Brian's eyes widened. He started to reach for Kevin, but paused as he remembered what had happened the last time that he'd tried.

Instead, he said, "Kev? You okay?”

Kevin raised his head to snap at Brian, to say what a dumb question it was. Then he saw the look on Brian's face. Fear, and concern for him.

“Kevin?”

Kevin rubbed his ribs unconsciously and looked back up at Brian. “I think you know how I’m feeling.”

Brian looked at his lap in shame. "I know you don't want to hear it, but... I'm sorry."

Kevin held his gaze for a moment, then looked down. "I'm not ready to talk about this," he said. "Right now it's enough to know you regret what you did."

Brian reached out, but withdrew his hand at Kevin's next words.

"I need time. I've got to get my head straight. You've got Leigh and Baylee and the others to face first." He painfully stood. "I'm glad you aren't dead," he said roughly. "Beyond that, I just don't know what to say."

With that, he slowly exited the room, leaving Brian with a myriad of emotions to deal with.

I’m glad you aren’t dead… it’s enough to know you regret what you did… I need time… You’ve got Leigh and Baylee and the others to face first.

“Kevin,” Brian whimpered as he leaned back.

Zanell watched the tears begin to fall and decided to go retrieve the person she thought he’d need most. His wife. Zanell entered the waiting room to see everyone finally awake. When she'd left, only Leighanne and little Baylee had been up.

“Kevin said Bri's awake," Howie said evenly. "How's he doing?"

"He's healed now," Zanell replied. "He's resting. Leighanne, he needs to see you and Baylee."

Leigh stood, nodded, and shifted Baylee into a better position. "Thanks, Zanell."

The others watched as she carried the baby down the hallway. AJ spoke first.

"You look tired," he said to the princess. "Sit down for a minute." He patted the chair next to him.

She gave a slight smile. "Thanks, it's been a long day."

Nick nodded gravely. "It's been more than just one day. I'm glad this nightmare is almost over."

Howie's brown eyes darkened. "It's far from over," he said softly. "Did anyone see the look on Kev's face when he left? We all have to come to terms with what happened, and Brian does too. This isn't the end, it's just the beginning."

AJ sighed. "Do you think we can ever go back to the way things were?"

After a suspended silence, Howie spoke again. "I don't know, Aje. But I, for one, am going to try very hard to understand and forgive."

"I don't get it," Nick said suddenly. "If Kevin donated blood, why does he seem so against forgiving Brian?"

"They're family, Nick," Howie answered. "Once a bond like that is broken, it's hard to mend it."

"But... we're all family," Nick said with a frown. "And despite what Brian... Kael... did to me, I don't hate him."

"We've been like family for years, yes," Howie said, "but Kevin and Brian have been family for a lifetime. Something else is going on there, but until we can get them to talk about it..." He shrugged. "It's up to them."

Nick turned troubled blue eyes to Zanell. "How does Serafina fit in all this?"

"I don't know," Zanell said honestly. "I'll have to talk to her, try to find out."

"She's in the lounge, sleeping," Nick provided. "She looked pretty beat."

"We all look like we could use some decent rest," AJ said. "Now that Brian's awake, and healed, maybe we should think about ditching this place."

"I don't want to leave him!" Nick protested.

AJ put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Nick, we all need rest. We'll probably get it best by heading to a hotel for some rest. Or maybe back to Kevin's place, since it's close."

"I can't leave him," Nick repeated.

~~~

Leighanne carried Baylee into Brian's room, pausing in the doorway when she saw him staring out the window. His bed had been moved to a sitting position, and someone had brought him some breakfast while Zanell had gone. From the look of it, he had only taken a bite or two before pushing the tray away.

“Brian?”

Brian turned from the window at her voice. He smiled when he saw her carrying their son. “Hey.”

Leighanne smiled and sat down on the bed next to him. Brian scooted closer and reached out a hand to rub Baylee's cheek.

"Hi, Baylee." Brian smiled. "I missed you, little buddy."

"Did you?" Leigh asked, her voice soft but full of pain.

Brian raised his eyes in surprise. "Of course I did. I missed you, too, honey."

"All this time I was so worried about you," Leigh said, tears glistening in her eyes. "I imagined so many terrible things. But nothing like what really happened. Brian, how could you have done what you did?"

He looked down at his tiny son. "I... I lost my way," he whispered. "One step at a time, I guess.” He glanced back to his wife. "I know I can't ask for your forgiveness. But I'm sorry. So very sorry."

Leigh sniffed. "Brian, I love you. I always have and I always will. If there's a way to work past all this, I'm willing to try."

Her sincere words were like a light in the darkness. He grasped them with all he had.

"I'll do anything to regain your trust," he said. "Anything to make amends."

"You can start by holding your son," she said.

Brian held out his hands eagerly, knowing what an incredibly important first step it was. It wasn't until he had the baby in his embrace that the tears began to fall. He held his son close to his chest. A few seconds later, he felt his wife's arms around his shoulder, words of comfort reaching his ears. For the first time in what seemed like forever, he felt hope.

~~

Leighanne had just ordered some lunch when there was a knock on the door. She and Brian had decided to stay in a hotel for a while until they were ready to head back home. At the moment, Brian was in the bedroom with Baylee, making sure he got down for his nap. When she opened the door, she smiled as she saw Nick standing there.

“Hi, Nick. Brian’s in the bedroom putting Baylee down for his nap.”

Nick stepped inside and took his hat off. “Thanks, Leigh.”

He gave her a quick hug, then headed back to the bedroom. He paused in the doorway as he saw Brian bending over to put Baylee in the crib. When the boy stilled, Brian covered him up with a sheet, moved a little bear next to his son’s head and just watched him sleep.

"I don't want to miss out on any more of your life, Baylee. I'm sorry I left you."

"Well, you're back now, Brian," Nick spoke up.

Brian looked up when he heard the voice. He smiled hesitantly when he saw who was standing in the doorway.

"Hi... Nick."

Nick smiled back and stepped a little further into the room. There was a long silence between the two. Then, both spoke at once.

"Look, Brian-"

"Nick, I'm-"

They both stopped and caught each other's glance.

“Go ahead," Brian said.

Nick licked his lips and ran a hand through his hair. "Well, I... man, this is hard. I don't know what to say."

"I do," Brian stated. "Nick, I know it'll never be enough, but I’m sorry."

Nick considered the words for a moment. "I don't know what made you do what you did," he said at last, "but if you're willing to talk about it, I'm willing to listen."

Brian glanced down at the floor for a moment, then back up at Nick. "Yeah, I... I think so."

"Do... do you want to talk in here," Nick asked, "or in the living room?"

"Well," Brian began, "it'll be easier to keep an eye on Baylee in here... But..."

Nick nodded. "We can stay in here."

Brian smiled gratefully. He sank down onto the bed, and Nick followed.

Neither spoke for several minutes, trying to get their thoughts together. Finally, Brian spoke.

“Nick, I know I deserved every word you said that day," he admitted. "That I was a monster. I was, I know it. And it was killing me inside to realize it."

Nick's voice shook slightly as he said, "It was Kael that did it, not Brian."

"Kael was a part of me, though."

"Why? How?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you become Kael?" Nick asked.

Brian sighed and stared at his hands. "I guess it was like AJ said. Zator wanted to take away my humanity.”

"But he didn't do it, did he?"

Brian bit his lip. "I'm here," he said.

"Yeah," Nick replied. "You're here. After how many weeks of being lost?"

"Too many," his friend admitted. "I still feel a little lost. There's so much I have to fix.”

"What did he... do to you?" Nick asked hesitantly.

Brian looked away. "At first it was subtle, stuff I wasn't really aware of. When I was kidnapped, the first bit of time I was confused. Totally confused. I don't know if it was injury, or drugs, or... or something else." He frowned. "Serafina was there, all the time. She helped me keep my sanity. And as time went on, I began to believe all the lies he told. How everyone had abandoned me, how no one cared, how I had been used and stepped on my whole life."

"But that's not true!" Nick protested.

"I know that," Brian said. "But I lost sight of the truth. His words became my reality." He took a deep breath. "Sera supported me, helped me feel pride and accomplishment again. When Zator trained me for battle...” He shook his head. “By the time I was ordered to take the village, I guess the old me was well buried. Kael had taken over, and all my anger and frustration and rage found an outlet." He blushed, ashamed. "I hate the way I used you," he said. "Everyone. How I deceived and manipulated the very people I loved."

Nick shifted uncomfortably on the bed. "So... you were kind of out of your mind when you came after us," he said. "Kind of brainwashed."

“It's not an excuse," Brian said. "But yeah, I guess it was true. When Zator renamed me Kael, he knew exactly what he was doing."

"Kael. What does it mean?"

"It means 'mighty warrior'." Brian gave a bitter laugh. "I even failed at that, in the end."

Anger flashed across Nick's face. "You didn't fail," he declared. "You pushed past that, and tried to save us! You realized what you'd done and risked your life to help us escape. That's not failing, Brian, that's succeeding. That's Brian Littrell, not Kael."

Brian looked at his friend with gratitude shining in his eyes. "I can't believe you said that, after what I did to you."

Nick gave a small, crooked grin. "What Kael did... there's a difference. We all go crazy sometimes, bro. Just don't let it happen again, okay?"

Brian grinned. "Not a chance."

Nick leaned forward and surprised him with a hug. Brian returned the gesture and closed his eyes in gratitude.

~~~

Brian lay back against the couch. Through the window, he could see the sun setting beyond the horizon. It had been a big day, emotionally, for him. Shortly after Nick had left, Howie had arrived. Howie asked pretty similar questions to what Nick had asked, as well as a few others, but Brian had found it easier to tell the second time. Howie, always the peacemaker, was quick to forgive him.

AJ was a lot more hesitant to accept that Kael no longer existed. Although he loved Brian, he couldn't forgive or forget as easily as Howie had. He and Brian had declared a truce, agreeing to take things one day at a time. But when AJ had gotten up to leave, he'd done something totally unexpected. He gave Brian a quick, tentative hug. It was that single gesture that eased Brian's heart the most.

As sisters, Zanell and Serafina came together. Zanell explained that Sera had told her everything that had happened to Brian. Zanell, of all of them, understood the most. She'd seen her father's work, knew how easily he could manipulate people. Brian had proven to be stronger than that, though. She had seen it when he'd shown her respect by calling her Princess, and when he came to her with the amulet. When she looked into his eyes and had seen great regret and pain, she knew. And when he'd told her to heal the others, the last traces of doubt had vanished. Although it was hard to push back the memories of the torture the others had suffered, she felt in her heart that Kael was truly gone.

And then, Serafina. If it hadn't been for her, he would have become worse than Kael. But there had been something he wanted to know. How long had she loved him? Long before he had become Kael, she'd admitted. Before the training. She'd only felt brave enough to say that she loved him when he was planning to get his friends off the ship. She had been able to see his good heart beneath Kael's harsh exterior. He was still Brian. And while she admired Kael, it was Brian's spirit she loved.

Then she remembered that she still wore his amulet. She took it from around her neck and started to give it to him when Brian had stopped her. Surely the amulet didn't want him as its guardian anymore. There was only one way to find out. If he became Top Speed when the amulet was placed around his neck and activated, then he was still its guardian. The amulet would judge.

Brian had closed his eyes nervously when he felt the chain go around his neck. He brushed the crystal inside the amulet, wondering if the change would occur. He'd gasped when he felt the familiar sensation of change rushing over his body. Opening his eyes, he had discovered that he was Top Speed. The amulet had judged him worthy to be its guardian.

Serafina had asked what would happen now that Brian was back on Earth. Although he knew it would break her heart, he told her that his future lay with his wife and son. Sera had shed a tear, but she accepted it. She knew this was right for him. Brian had told Leighanne, and she still supported him, even saying that Sera was welcome to return and visit whenever she desired.

A knock at the door pulled Brian from his reflections. He knew Leigh was busy with the baby, so he answered it himself. He opened the door to a tearful Kristin.

"He's gone," she said with a sob. "Kevin's gone!"

She handed him a wrinkled piece of paper. As he read the note, his face paled a bit.

"Kristin: I've got to go away alone for a while, I hope you understand. There's so much that's happened, and I need to sort it all out in my head before I make any decisions. I feel like I've let everyone down, including myself. Everything seems to have changed, and I'm not sure of anything. Please don't try to find me, I need some space. Remember that I'll always love you. ~Kevin."

"What does he mean, he's let everyone down?" Brian asked.

Kristin sniffled. "I'm not sure," she said. "All I know is that something was really on his mind, and he was in a lot of pain." She took a breath. "And I don't mean physically."

All of Brian's accomplishments seemed to dim as he considered her words. He knew that whatever was going on in Kevin's mind, he was the cause of it.

"I don't have any idea where he might be," she continued. "Oh, Brian, I'm worried."

“I think we should give him what he asked for," Brian said slowly. "Surely he'll come back... to you, at least."

"But what if he doesn't?" she asked fearfully.

"Then we'll go find him," Brian promised. "I'll do whatever it takes, Kris. I promise."