Nick never liked to have a girlfriend at the time of an album release or before he went on tour. While he was on the road, he enjoyed not being tied down, which meant that he could really get a taste of the local flavor of wherever he was, specifically, the women. Having a girlfriend seriously interfered with this and was usually more trouble than it was worth.

Once again, he found himself on the road. Things were getting into full swing with meetings, a radio tour and just basic PR stuff for the release of Unbreakable. Then after the release in October, it would be more promotion, then a world tour. He should be happy and ready to roll.

But he wanted to be back in L.A.

He never wanted to back in L.A.

Quinn was in L.A.

Nick knew she was the reason he wanted to be in L.A., even if he wasn't ready to admit it to anyone but himself. Honestly, nobody really knew about her. Except for Chris, he suspected something was up. Nick almost felt like if he told people, it would ruin it. He didn’t want it to be ruined, or end for that matter.

Up until recently, he had been toying with the idea of moving to Tennessee. The Backstreet Boys had recorded the bulk of Unbreakable there; Nick had enjoyed life around Nashville. He was able to blend in and a have slower, more normal lifestyle. The area had become pretty popular for a lot of celebrities because of the residents acceptance of them and the lack of media glare. He actually had a realtor looking at places for him in Franklin, the realtor had been sending him links to houses for sale in the area and he was supposed to look at a few that week. Even if Nick didn’t permanently relocate to Franklin, it would be a nice place to own a home, a place he may eventually considering settling down in once all of the fame faded away.

For some time, Nick had felt as though there wasn’t really anything left for him in L.A. Sure, a couple of his siblings lived there, but they were all busy with their own lives and they each had their own groups of friends. In a lot of ways, friends had become like family to all of them, maybe because their own family was so dysfunctional. House of Carters had brought the siblings back together, but it hadn’t really changed his relationship with is mom. He and his father had always understood each other and were very straight with each other, they were cool even though things were different now. It was strange to see his father as part of a completely different family, especially with little babies, when Nick was 27 years old.

The guys had noticed that he wasn’t as fired up as he usually was before an album was released. Typically, he loved the launch of a new album, having fresh material to sing, and getting back out there after some down time. Nick often found himself bored during a break. Once it was time to record, he threw himself into it completely. Recording was a great place for him to get out all of his feelings, which made it an exhausting process for him. The sheer man hours he devoted to writing and recording along with the emotional toll putting so much of yourself out on paper could have on you was extremely taxing. He had always felt like the promotion, touring and interaction with the fans made it all worth it, everyone needed to be validated. Being with Quinn had been validating, having a woman like her want him, even if for nothing more than a romp in the bedroom, was a really good feeling. He just liked being with her, spending time with her, getting to know her - it was as simple as that.

The timing couldn’t possibly have been worse, Quinn was already a tough one, and every moment that he spent with her he felt himself getting in deeper. She was absolutely beautiful, had an awesome personality and she really knew how to light up a room – especially the bedroom. These, of course, were all things that Nick liked about Quinn, but he also knew these were things that other men would like about her as well. He had seen how other men responded to her when she was out, he had seen another man kiss her – it made him crazy. Everything she wrote and said seemed very anti-relationship, which is something Nick would usually prefer. He realized as he spent more time with her, it would continue to become more difficult to read about her adventures with other guys in her column, much less see her with another man.

Spending the weekend with Quinn had been a blessing and a curse at the same time. Nick had hoped that she would stay more than just a night, but he hadn’t expected it. He was shocked that she didn’t leave until Monday morning. Every morning she tried to leave, but he was able to lure her back, sometimes by sexually manipulating her to stay, once it had been with food – and not just any food, he had magically appeared in the kitchen with a chicken fried steak smothered in gravy from Aunt Kizzy’s Back Porch. How he had gotten it to his house, she hadn’t a clue, but she didn’t care. They spent the day gorging themselves with fried, gravy covered, buttered food and tons of dessert. He deserved a reward for being so attentive when they had been talking in the days prior about her favorite childhood memories, many of which revolved around food that her mother or grandmother had prepared, so she had stayed another night with him to show him how much she appreciated it. It was like they were in their own little bubble, where clothes were optional and you could say or do whatever you wanted without judgment.

As Nick watched her prepare to leave early Monday morning, he felt an instantaneous disconnect with her, which was strange considering they had spent the weekend together, doing everything from eating, talking, laughing, cuddling and had shared some very intimate moments, and not just during sex, their connection was incredible. For some reason, when she left, things still ended much like they usually did, with no future plans, just a casual, ‘see you around.’ It was like he was instantly cut off from a warm, perfect place and it made him feel overwrought.

Seeing her around wasn’t even really in the cards, after all, he found himself sitting in a board room in New York City with his fellow Backstreet Boys and various people from their management company and record company, they were about to divide into pairs and hit a slew of radio stations across the country throughout the month of August. Somewhere in the middle of all of that he would be back in L.A. to shoot the music video for Inconsolable, but he wasn’t even sure if she would be around. Quinn had mentioned over the weekend that she would be going to Dallas at some point for Kate’s birthday.

Nick had pretty much zoned out of the conversation and was deep in his thoughts when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone and a smile instantly came to his face as he looked at it.

“Nick, are you paying attention?” Howie asked, interrupting him from reading the text message from Quinn.

“Yeah, man…cool, I’m in,” Nick replied, setting his phone down on the table.

They all looked at him like he was nuts, “do you have any idea what you just agreed to?” AJ asked.

Nick didn’t, he hadn’t been paying attention, he was going to have to do whatever they were talking about anyways, so did it really matter? He would much rather be texting Quinn.

- - -

Subject: Chance
Date: August 2, 2007
Mood: Confused
Listening: “Bubbly” by Colbie Calliat

“Nothing occurs at random, but everything for a reason and by necessity" - Leucippus

Ancient Greek philosophers had two concepts of chance; luck, which operates in the mind, and chance, which operates in the realm of nature. Aristotle disagreed with this theory, saying both luck and chance were everyday phenomena, and that although certain things were predetermined to happen, luck and chance happened because of two things happening concurrently.

I won’t get all philosophical and confusing on you this week…but in English, this is a very interesting subject matter to explore. Does everything really happen for a reason, or does it happen just because? Does the simultaneous destinies of people cause a shift in the system?

One way to approach this is if you think about nature vs. nurture. People can grow up in completely different households with completely different parents and end up on very different or very similar courses in life. It is an age old argument. I think both are relevant.

My brother and I are a great example of this…we grew up in the same house with the same opportunities and wonderful parents who doted on us and gave us every advantage in life. Jack chose to stay the course, regardless of what was thrown his way, he stayed on track. He knew he wanted to help our father run his company one day, he knew he would get married, have a family – live the American dream. I, on the other hand, took a very different route. Sure, I found myself doing things that most girls would dream of, the world was my oyster – but there was always something different inside of me. I went to private school, I did cotillion, lived the life of a little urban socialite. Then…chance happened…or bad luck…take your pick. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 16. At first, her “chance” of survival was high, our family was hopeful, we went a long as we always had, then, there were just a few extra medications thrown in, my mom had a mastectomy and reconstructive surgery so she was down for a little while. Things went back to normal quickly, we felt lucky – my mother had been the center of our family and she – WE - had beaten breast cancer.

Or so we thought…for about a year…

Chance would have it come back…we quickly went from a 100% chance of survival to a 92% chance of survival to an 81% chance of survival to a 67% chance of survival to a 54% chance of survival to a 20% chance of survival. Too many chances…

…then she was given six months to live…chances were she would have that long…

…but she was unlucky…

…no amount of luck in the world could keep my mom alive…

…she died within 6 weeks of being re-diagnosed with breast cancer.

…we were unlucky.

So the same chance and bad luck – or whatever you want to call it – that took my mom from us changed the course of my life. I could have focused on the regrets and fallen into myself. I didn’t really give myself a chance to grieve, I graduated from high school at semester my senior year and moved to Austin so I could start at the University of Texas on early admission. I had always thought that I wanted to be an attorney, but that changed once I got there. I pledged a sorority, partied, hung out with guys, made friends – did all of the things young girls do when they leave home for the first time – but chance got me again.

I had decided to take a creative writing class as a blow off. I had always written poetry and short stories, but had never been around people that really fed my desire to write. In this class, I met Jake, a jock with a soft side, and we fell in love instantly. I got so absorbed in him and my writing that I decided to become an English major.

Chance after chance…and one lucky thing after another kept happening to me…it is how I ended up here in L.A. James Maxwell stumbled across my column…by chance…and happened to know about a gig a group he had been trailing was playing in Dallas…and it happened to be at one of my dad’s best friend’s clubs…and they happened to have talked me into introducing the group. I had almost missed James that night, I had planned to be in and out but I had ended up getting stuck because Courtney had met a guy. Luck would have it that I met James and we hit it off. We stayed in touch, instantly becoming friends. Chance would have it, a short while later he was given a promotion at the L.A. Times and began pursuing me. It took some time, but chance, luck and all of the other forces in the world lined up, and here I am.

Since moving to L.A., I have had a number of chance encounters with people. First, my assistant, Riley, pure luck that she was available and James assigned her to me. She is amazing and is more than I could have hoped for. Then, while I was in L.A. doing some contract negotiations, I drove by this house that I adored. By chance, I wrote down the address, just in case. Then, when I began looking for a place to live in L.A., I gave it to Riley, on a whim – and by sheer luck, the house was available – and for rent. I have decided to wait a while to buy…as my being in L.A. is purely by chance.

Sometimes I believe that chance is trying to tell me something, if not, why would I continually be put in situations that further me? And, if that is the case, and I know inside where I am, why would chance keep throwing the same person in my path? And, is it sheer luck that he is always as glad to see me as I am to him?

Maybe my old friends, chance and luck, are trying to throw me for another loop….

It's a good thing I love roller coasters.

Until Next Week,

Mazi

- - -

Quinn didn’t know what had possessed her to text Nick, even if it was just a quick hello. It had been so spontaneous she hadn’t even made up a reason. She was in her kitchen, cooking dinner for Riley with her radio blaring. The D.J. just had to play a Backstreet Boys’ song, didn’t he? She had instantly recognized Nick’s voice over her speakers and immediately felt a tingle wash over her body, and who could blame her? The last time she had heard that voice, she had been on his lap, very naked on his lap, while he sung along to his new tracks. How could any woman forget a moment like that, or what happened as he lowered their bodies to the floor, removed the blanket that covered her and continued to sing along to his music while he literally rocked her world on the floor of his office?

NICK: IN A MEETING, WOULD RATHER BE FOLLOWING YOU…

Quinn smiled.

QUINN: I MISS YOU FOLLOWING ME

She did. It made going out much more exciting. Maybe it was the thrill of the chase, or the thrill of not knowing. Every time she had bumped into him, it was completely unexpected and left her shaken, by the way he looked, by his words, by a look he gave her, by nothing more than the anticipation of what may happen once they got out of whatever public place they were in. Even though spending a weekend with him went against her rules of engagement, it was casual – it would only become more than that if they defined it. Was it necessary to tempt fate and try to define it? It was perfect, he was perfect.

Quinn liked Nick, he was handsome, fun, outgoing, good in bed and thoughtful…she hadn’t expected him to be quite so thoughtful. The thoughtfulness threw her off. She tried not to reveal too much about herself to him, if she did, he may get bored, and she didn’t want that. However, it seemed like every time she did reveal something, whether it was the smallest like or dislike, she was instantly reminded that he had heard her by something that he did or said.

NICK: I CAN RESUME FOLLOWING YOU ON THE 16th…

QUINN: I'LL BE IN DALLAS…HEADIING BACK TO L.A. ON THE 19th

NICK: I HAVE A RADIO INTERVIEW IN DALLAS ON THE 20th


Quinn stared at the text message from him.

- - -

QUINN: BOO – WE WILL BARELY MISS EACH OTHER

“D, can you go to Dallas on the 18th?” Nick asked Howie, looking at him hopefully as he texted her back.

NICK: I AM FLYING IN ON THE 18th

It was just a little white lie, right? He could make it happen, she would be none the wiser. “Why?” Howie asked, watching Nick as he starred at his phone, almost willing it to vibrate, “the interview isn’t until Monday.”

The phone vibrated, Nick picked it up.

QUINN: OH REALLY? YOU GUYS SHOULD MEET US OUT FOR KATE’S BIRTHDAY

Nick read the message and began typing again, “I need a huge favor.”

NICK: SOUNDS FUN

“What?” He asked, slightly annoyed. Nick had not been paying attention for most of the meeting, and now, he was talking about going to Dallas early and wanting a favor, “dude, come on, why the hell would you want to go Dallas?”

“Just say you’ll do it,” Nick begged, as he typed another text message.

NICK: WHEN?

Howie stared at Nick, shaking his head, “come on, you know I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important. I just need to you to go out with me, you can even leave early, I just need you to go for a couple of drinks, then you can go…”

Nick’s phone vibrated again, Howie watched as a smile spread across Nick’s lips. “This is about a girl, isn’t it?”

QUINN: SATURDAY NIGHT, DINNER THEN DRINKS…DETAILS TO COME

“Maybe,” Nick answered, “if you go with me, I will explain everything.”

This caught the rest of the group’s attention, and now they were all intently listening to the exchange between Howie and Nick. “Should we all go?” AJ asked, curious as to what was going on, him and Brian were scheduled to do other radio interviews that week in other places.

NICK: CAN’T WAIT

QUINN: ME EITHER

“No dude, its not a big deal,” Nick said nonchalantly. He knew he had peeked Howie’s interest and he was in.