“Leighanne, I am not having this conversation with you right now. In front of everyone. Can’t you wait until we get back to the hotel?” Brian yelled, looking around the room as everyone pretended to be uninterested by the domestic dispute going on right in front of them.

Leighanne had flown in early that morning, claiming that she and Brian needed to work on rebuilding their relationship for the sake of their son. Brian had been in a fowl mood ever since her arrival and had taken it out on anyone and everyone in his way, especially Paige.

“Fine. We’ll talk when you get back to the hotel,” she agreed, giving him a small smile in response to the scowl he was sending her. “It was good seeing you boys again. It’s strange not being on tour with y’all, this time around. And even though Brian and I aren’t together anymore doesn’t mean we can’t still be friends,” she added, turning to the remaining three Backstreet Boys.

“Don’t you think that would be a little bit awkward for them?” Brian scoffed, rolling his eyes at his ex-wife’s lack of common sense.

“Only if you make it awkward,” she responded. “What has gotten into you lately? I’ve never seen you act this way before. All of a sudden, you’re snapping at everyone, finding any excuse to argue with people. This isn’t you, Brian. And poor Paige here has been on the receiving end of almost all your wise-cracks today. I don’t even know you anymore. You’re not the same man I married,” Leighanne sadly announced.

“Well then I guess it’s a good thing you divorced me before it was too late,” Brian sneered, receiving glares from everyone in the room for his unnecessarily harsh response.

“You have no right to talk to her like that! She hasn’t done anything wrong!” Paige yelled, getting fed up with his spoiled-little-rich-kid attitude. “But you’re right. It’s a good thing she did divorce you before she got sucked into your negativity. She’s deserves better than that – and I used to think you did too.” Everyone else in the room watched on silently, shocked by Paige’s sudden outburst. Brian just stood there, motionless, shooting daggers out of his eyes in Paige’s direction.

“Why don’t you just mind your own business!? This doesn’t concern you! It’s between me and Leighanne, so just butt out,” Brian screamed, letting all of the anger and frustration he’d held in over the last few months out on Paige.

“It is my business when you’re standing here yelling at her in front of me. YOU made it my business!” she argued, not willing to back down. She had been letting him get away with all of his crap for over a month now, and she wasn’t going to let it continue, if she had any say in the matter.

“Paige, really, it’s okay. You don’t have to do that,” Leighanne whispered to the other woman, not wanting to cause any trouble between Paige and Brian. “Brian’s just upset. Don’t let him drag you down to his level.”

“NO! It’s not right! He can’t keep treating people that way, expecting them to just sit back and take it, thinking he can just get away with anything. People deserve more respect than that, and I’m tired of dealing with his snide comments all the time!” Paige argued, not meaning to sound as harsh as she did. It wasn’t Leighanne’s fault that Brian was acting like a jerk. “What’s your real problem, Brian? Are you just that upset that your wife left you, or is there something deeper? You look for faults in everyone else because if you’re focusing on their faults, you won’t have to look at your own. You won’t have to admit that you aren’t the perfect man everyone has made you out to be. You’re afraid of not being perfect. You’re afraid that the fans will see that you’re just an ordinary man with ordinary problems. Or maybe you’re afraid that if you couldn’t make this relationship work, how are you supposed to make any of your future relationships work? Huh? What’s the real reason behind your anger, Brian? I think you need to figure it out before you push someone too far and it’s too late to take it back.”

“What about you? Ever since you’ve joined this tour, you’ve been sticking your nose in other people’s business. You’re always so concerned with everyone else’s problems, but what about your own problems? You never sleep more than a few hours a night. Why? What are you so afraid of? Have you ever even shown any emotion over the loss of your husband? Ever? Because I sure haven’t seen it. I don’t think you have. I think you’re trying to avoid having to think about. That’s why you always change the subject when someone brings it up. And what about your job? Why did you really quit? Was it really because it was too stressful, or was it actually because you were too afraid to start living again? And why are you here on tour when you should be trying to reestablish your life? Is it because you’re too scared to move on? To forget? I think you need to look at yourself before you start pointing fingers,” Brian lectured, a cocky smile spreading across his handsome face.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Paige weakly cried, fighting back tears. As much as she hated to admit it, his accusations hit a little too close to home, and that scared her. They hadn’t had a single casual conversation, and he had been able to read her so well. That fact alone was enough to shock her to her core and shake her very foundation. “You don’t even know me. You haven’t taken the chance to get to know me the whole time I’ve been here. Don’t stand there and pretend like you have ANY idea what I’ve been going through.”

“Maybe you should learn to take your own advice?” Brian suggested, raising a questioning eyebrow.

Paige couldn’t even formulate a response because she was too overcome with emotion. Her whole body was shaking, her eyes were watering and her voice seemed to be loss in a sea of emotion, trying to force its way up but unable to break through the surface. She was fighting an internal war with herself, trying to maintain control, but it was a losing battle. She had been fighting it for too long, and she was tired of trying to pretend everything was alright. Brian had been right. About everything, he’d been right. And just hearing someone else say it out loud was enough to break through the thick outer shell that had been protecting her from a complete breakdown. Her walls had been cracked by the most unlikely candidate, and she wasn’t prepared to handle it. So she did the only thing she could. She ran.

Brian was having a similar reaction to her accusations, his whole body shaking from the intensity of the fight he had just been involved in. She had been right about him, as well. The fact that she was able to see through the walls he had erected after his divorce caused a flurry of emotions to storm through his body. He had been looking for faults in everyone else in an attempt to draw the focus from his own imperfections. He was afraid of admitting he wasn’t the perfect man everyone tried to portray him as. Ever since the Backstreet Boys had first found success, he had been living in a plastic bubble, protected from all of the negative comments trying to reach him. He had been portrayed as the golden boy who could do no wrong – and after so many years of having that stereotype – that image – he had started to believe it, and even play into it, to an extent. It took the unfortunate action of crushing someone else’s spirits to finally open his eyes to the truth. And for the first time since Leighanne had left him, he felt true remorse.

“What have I done?” he questioned out loud, tears welling in his own eyes as he watched the one woman who had managed to awaken him from his blinded state flee from the room, tears coursing down her flushed cheeks. Tears caused by his thoughtless words. Tears that caused his heart to shatter into a million splintered pieces as he realized the implications of his words. He had just broken her heart, her spirit, and he had no idea what to do to make things right again. “What have I done?” he repeated, as his tears began to fall.

Serine hesitantly made her way down the beige, dimly-lit hallway of the five-star hotel to her destination – Paige’s room. After Paige’s sudden departure, the entire room had been in utter shock, unable to believe the accusations that had been announced or the two parties reactions to those accusations. It hadn’t taken more than a moment after Paige’s retreat for Brian to follow suit, leaving the room in a nearly hysterical condition. And while Alex had been designated, by process of elimination, to chase after Brian, Serine had volunteered to check on Paige. She knew that out of everyone in that room, she would have the greatest probability of convincing Paige to let her in. Besides, having known Paige since they were merely high school kids, she would probably have an easier time reading her distraught friend than anyone else. In other words, meaning she was the best bet in helping Paige through her pain.

As soon as she was in front of room 309, Paige’s room, she took a deep sighing breath before knocking softly on the door and calling out to her best friend to let her in. “Paige? Paige, honey, are you in there?” She paused, listening for any sort of response on the other side of the strong barrier between them. “Paige, if you’re in there, open the door.” Again, she got no response. “Come on, honey, you can’t hide in there forever.”

“Go away, Serine. I just want to be alone,” she cried through the thick, wooden door separating her from the rest of the world. As soon as she had reached the hotel, she had barricaded herself in her room, losing herself in sea of tears and memories. Every harsh allegation Brian had spit at her in his angry rant had been playing on a loop over and over in her head, haunting her every breath.

“Paige, open the door. You can’t just shut yourself off from the rest of the world,” Serine pleaded, praying for a miracle. “What would Shawn think of you locking yourself away from the people who care about you most?” She hated to bring up Shawn, but she couldn’t think of another way to convince her friend to let her in.

Slowly, hesitantly, the door creaked open revealing a broken, crying girl instead of the strong, fiercely independent woman Serine was used to seeing. “Serine,” was all Paige said before breaking into another bout of tears, her eyes already bloodshot and dull.

“Oh honey,” Serine cried, pulling the other woman into a protective, comforting hug. She couldn’t believe that the woman in front of her was the same woman she had known for most of her life. And while she wanted to be able to say that Brian hadn’t meant what he’d said – that he didn’t know what he was talking about – she couldn’t lie. He had meant it, and he had said the same things that everyone had been thinking at one point of another over the course of the tour. They all knew that it could have been handled differently, but they also knew that what was said – on both party’s behalf – needed to be said. Brian needed to face up to the fact that he wasn’t perfect and no one expected him to be except for himself. And Paige needed to take the time to grieve for her loss instead of trying to bottle it up and deny that it had ever happened.

“I’m so afraid of forgetting him – of forgetting TJ,” Paige tearfully admitted, her tears slowly ebbing.

“Honey, you could never forget Shawn OR TJ, even if you wanted to. They are a part of you, and they will always be with you, no matter what happens in your life,” Serine gently explained, making sure to look the other woman in the eye so that she could make sure he message was getting through.

“Brian was right, though. I’m afraid to start living again. I’m afraid to move on because I don’t even know who I am without Shawn or TJ. My whole life centered around them for so long that I don’t even know myself anymore,” Paige admitted, looking to her friend for the answers she was desperately seeking.

“He may have been right about you being afraid, but you are wrong about not knowing yourself. You’re still the same woman you’ve always been. You’re still the intelligent, creative, passionate woman you were before you ever even met Shawn. Sure, Shawn and TJ had an impact on who you’ve become, but you lived 21 years on your own. You just have to rediscover that part of you that you seem to have forgotten,” Serine countered.

“I miss them so much,” Paige cried, looking at Serine with a sad, lost look. “I miss hearing them laugh. I miss seeing their smiling faces every morning. I miss the way Shawn used to tuck that stubborn stray piece of hair behind my ear just so that he could touch me in some way. I miss the way TJ would sit there and recall every second of his day when he’d get home from school, filling me in on everything from the bus ride to school to what he had for lunch to the bus ride home. I miss how he’d ask me questions all the time, always curious and wanting to learn new things. He was so full of life. He reminded me to live everyday to the fullest. And Shawn reminded me to appreciate all the little things in life. They made every day worth living.”

“It’s going to take time, Paige. You can’t just expect to wake up one day and feel like everything’s right with the world again. You have to give yourself time to grieve. It’s going to hurt, but that’s just a part of life. Of losing someone,” Serine responded.

“I think I need to leave the tour. Brian was right. I came here to run away from my problems instead of facing them head on,” Paige confessed, watching her friend’s reaction closely. “Besides, I’m just causing more trouble and more tension by being here. Brian hates me, and all we do is add more stress to everyone’s lives with our arguments.”

“I don’t think you should leave,” Serine countered. “If you go home, you’re not going to have anyone to rely on except yourself. At least if you stayed on tour, you’d have me, Casey and all the guys to help you through this. We’d be able to make sure you stayed on track and didn’t try to force yourself into denial again.”

“I can’t stay, Serine. Brian doesn’t want me here. He’s made that abundantly clear. And I’m just tired of fighting with him about every little thing. I can’t keep doing this to him or to myself. He was right; I need to concentrate on my own problems instead of focusing on other people’s issues. I can’t do that if I’m stressed out about him or Baylee,” Paige told her friend, a sad smile crossing her face. “I appreciate you guys inviting me here, but I think I need to leave. The tour stops in Colorado tomorrow, so when you guys leave for the next city, I’ll just stay there.”

Giving in, Serine gave an unhappy sigh, deciding this was one battle she wasn’t going to win. “Well at least let us take you out for one last night on the town tonight, before you leave,” she persuaded. “It’s the least you can do if you’re going to be leaving us tomorrow.”

“Alright. Tonight, we’ll go out. One last night on the town,” Paige agreed, giving Serine a half-smile.

“I’ll let everyone know.”

“Serine?” Paige called as the other woman turned to leave.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks. For everything.” Three little words. Three simple little words. And the emotion behind them caused Serine’s eyes to tear up.

“You’re welcome.” And with that, she was gone, off to make plans for her best friend’s last night on tour.