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Author's Chapter Notes:
Hey! Sorry it's been so long. I really hope you all haven't forgotten poor Baylee. My schedule seems to be slowing down some, so hopefully another update will be up soon. Thank you, to everyone who is still reading, and keeping up with me here.
Vacation was finally over and we were packed back into the van, with the cramped up legs and stiff shoulders. The last few days, at the family farm, actually went pretty well. Of course they were not without a few arguments, but they weren’t anything like they used to be. It was really weird to see an argument between Nick, Kevin, and AJ end in a compromise…and the compromise happened before anyone got the chance to start yelling! I even had to pinch myself, just to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating! Everyone was putting forth their best effort, to make things better, and that was clearly obvious.

Now, I was leaning my head back and letting out a soft sigh. The silence, of the van, was driving me completely crazy! No one was talking and the radio wasn’t even on…which I found odd, but I just figured it was to spare any argument, over the music choice. I had been occupying my mind by texting with Morgan, but she had to go help her mom, with something. Therefore, I now found myself insanely BORED, fiddling with my dad’s journal, in my hands.

I was debating on reading some of the journal, but I find myself torn. Reading the journal makes me feel closer to my dad. Sometimes, I look beside me, and swear I can see him sitting there, smiling at me. On the other hand, though, it’s sort of depressing, because I know there are so many memories, that the journal doesn’t cover…ones that may be forever forgotten. I was so young, when mom and dad left me, that my memories seem to be few, and far between…unless something triggers my brain, to remember.

This is what I find so frustrating…and so unfair! I mean, if God decided it was time to take my parents, couldn’t he have, at least, left me with my memories? Not that I expect to remember every little detail, about them, or my childhood, but I do wish I could remember more. The adults, in this van, all have vivid and clear memories of my parents…mine seem fuzzy, like the snow stuff you get on your TV, when the cable goes out…and incomplete, like a puzzle that lost most of its pieces. My heart even aches, when they start talking about my dad, like they just saw him yesterday. How is it fair, that they get those whole memories, and I don’t?

Looking down at the journal, and running my fingers, over the worn leather, I found myself wishing it was only half, of a set. I could never deny that I cherish my dad’s journal; with everything in me…I just wish I had my mom’s diary, to go with it. There is no way for me to know, if she even kept a diary, but the thought of all the memories she may have been able to spark, makes me wish I had something like that, from her. Not once have I looked beside me, and sworn I could feel her sitting there. I can picture her face, in my mind, but…it’s just…different. Maybe I just had a different connection, with my dad…maybe it’s because of having his journal, to read…I can’t exactly describe the difference, and I guess no one else could really understand, unless they have felt it, too.

My fingers slipped under the leather cord, that tied the journal closed, and I began to loosen it. Reading one or two entries would help to pass the time, if nothing else. I really could use an escape from the boring, yet still stressful, road trip. Dad’s journal was my own personal time machine, and a blast, to the past, may be entertaining…depending on dad’s mood in the entries.

“Can’t we turn on the radio?” Mason’s voice was some kind of cross between a whine, and a groan, as it snapped me out of my thoughts. Glancing to my watch, I found that we had been on the road for three hours, already, without even a bathroom break. I’d be willing to bet that was because AJ was driving and he was in a mad rush, to get home and see Riley. Although, I would be lying if I said that, I wasn’t just as excited about seeing Morgan. Both AJ, and I, had a long wait ahead of us, though. Mason and I were sitting in the back, of the van, just like we had been before. I looked at him with a raised brow, not really wanting him to set off his dad’s irritation, or anything. “This is so boring!”

“Find a way to entertain yourself, Mason.” Kevin was sitting directly in front, of me, and surprisingly did not sound upset…at least, not yet. Given time, though, his mood would surely turn, for the worse.

“Yeah right, dad!” Mason’s voice dropped into a low whisper, as he continued, “we all know what happened the last time you said that.” Oh great…so much for reading dad’s journal…or for having hope of a peaceful trip.

“Mason! Don’t push it.” I had to say something, even if Kevin was showing no signs of being annoyed. If there’s any way to avoid tension and another argument, you should know I was going to try! Mason just looked at me, with defeat, and a boredom that matched mine. Has anyone ever come to the conclusion that road trips suck? Like…really…really suck! They’re long…tiring…boring…then you always get killer kinks in your neck and legs!

“We do need something, to entertain us.” Nick’s voice floated from the front passenger seat, as he looked over his shoulder. “Mason’s right…this is pretty boring.” His shoulders shrugged upwards, as he turned back around, in his seat. I don’t remember being on the road, being this boring. Maybe that was because my dad and Nick always kept me entertained…suddenly, I found myself missing that.

“We could just…talk…about something.” Howie was the next one, to look around, at everyone else. “There are a lot of stories, or whatever, that could be told.”

“Stories get boring, too, though.” Mason’s voice had a whine, to it, that was sure to start wearing on people’s nerves. I mean, I understand where he’s coming from, but Mason tends to get too whiney, about things. Ok, I get whiney, too…but not as much as he does! I cringed, hearing the sigh escape Kevin’s mouth, and I had a feeling that it wasn’t going to lead to anything good.

“Down…” He paused, to clear his throat, and then started back up, in a slow sing-song voice. I couldn’t help myself, as I leaned forward to look at him, with wrinkled brows. Boy was I off, thinking his sigh meant trouble! “Down by the bay…where the watermelons grow…back to my home…I dare not go…for if I do…my mother will say…”

“Have you ever seen a moose…kissin’ up on a goose? Down by the bay?” My eyes went wide, not believing that Kevin just started a song…and that Howie was now bobbing his head, as he took over, singing in that high voice, of his. “Down by the baaaaay, where the watermelons grooooow…back to my hooooome, I dare not gooooo. For if I dooooo, my mother will saaaaay…”

“…have you ever seen a cat, wearin’ ice ‘round his neck an’ a pimp style hat? Down by the bay?” AJ was, now, purposely doing a butch job, of rapping, as his lips pursed and one hand dramatically flew through the air. This was too much, for a kid to handle! What just happened, here? “Down by the bay. Where the watermelons grow. Back to my home. I dare not go. For if I do. My mother will say. Yo, Nick, hit it!”

“Have you ever seen a purple frog? Licking a yellow log? Down by the bay?” Despite the laugh, he was trying to hold back, Nick brought out that Anywhere For You kind of romantic singing…yeah, I know…weird! “Down by the baaay…where the watermelons grooow…back to my hooome…I dare not gooo…for if I dooo…my mother will saaay…”

“Wait….who’s gonna do Bri’s verse?” Dropping his voice, to a whisper, AJ glanced at the other guys, as he pulled off toward a rest stop. My thoughts drifted, for a moment, thinking back to my earlier childhood. I could remember singing this song, with them, a few times, out on tour. No wonder this all seemed so familiar, they always sang the same verses, in the same order…I remember it now, but what was my dad’s verse?

“Have you ever seen a church mouse…” My voice was soft, and my eyes were closed, at first, as I tried to remember. What was the next part? Come on! This is a part of my dad, I have to remember it!

“That’s it, little B!” A smile formed over my lips, as AJ’s voice rang clear, through my memories. “Rock it, boy! And don’t forget the knee!” My smile grew bigger, as the memories fit together.

“…quoting the Bible, while building a church house…DOWN BY THE BAY!” I let my voice hit full volume, as I clenched my fists and brought my knee up, just like my dad. The memories were more vivid now, and I could practically see my dad giving me that goofy grin, of his, as I continued the verse. “Down by the bay, where the watermelons grow! Back to my home, I dare not go! For if I do, my mother will say…”

“Have you ever seen a whale, with a checkered nose an’ a polka dotted tail, down by the bay?” Kevin picked up the last, of the usual verses, as he turned to look at Mason, letting him know it would be his turn next. “Down by the bay, where the watermelons grow…back to my home, I dare not go. For if I do, my mother will say…”

“Uh…” Mason’s eyes darted from one person, to another, as he obviously tried to think of a verse. “…have you ever seen a dog…” His eyes met mine, and I saw a sudden light bulb go off, in his head, as he grinned. “…scaring the frog, that’s licking the log, down by the bay?”

“Nice, Mase!” I nodded, at him, with a grin. Our hands met in mid-air, for a high-five, just as AJ parked the van. He grinned at me, and I couldn’t help but grin back. Maybe the rest, of the trip, wouldn’t be so bad, after all.

“DOOOOOOOOOWN BYYYYYYYYY THEEEEEEEEEEE BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!” The four adults didn’t do too bad with the harmony…taking into account that they were practically screaming. Yes…Kevin, too. Mason’s smile reached his eyes, as we all started to climb out of the van.

“Oh god, I’m getting so old!” Nick’s groaned, loudly, as he straightened up. The moans, and groans, from the adults, caused our group to get a few odd looks, from other people that were outside. At least it was nice out…maybe we would take a nice break, before stuffing ourselves back into that van.

“Oh stop your whining…you’re still the baby of the group! Well…not including the next generation.” Kevin slapped Nick’s shoulder, lightly, as everyone started making their way toward the building. I hadn’t put much thought into it, but I really did need to use the…yeah…you know.

“Are we getting food soon, or should we stock up from the vending machines?” I had to ask, since my stomach was growling, as everyone piled into the bathroom. I didn’t get an answer, as everyone took the traditional guy stance and I had to bite my lip, to keep from laughing, because of the loud groans coming from AJ and Nick.

“Ooooh yeaaaaah!” Nick’s head was leaning back and his eyes shut tightly. I shook my head trying to ignore the various sounds filling the room…they were distracting.

“Mmmmm! Sweet Jesus!” Hearing AJ’s voice made me shudder. I’m a guy too…but this was getting to the point of being disturbing. I mean, why do you gotta make noises while you do your business? I had to do this at the same time as my dad, more times than I could probably count, and I don’t recall him needing to groan and moan and……pray?

“Aaaaaaaaaaah!” Oh geez…there goes Howie. Next time, I will just hold it until after everyone else is done! Thank goodness everyone finished up and was filing out, within another couple minutes.

“Nick, why are you flinging your hands around in the air, like that? You look retarded.” Kevin had his brows raised, as we stepped back out into the sunlight. I have to admit, if you take time to sit back and really pay attention…this group can be seriously entertaining!

“Because the dryer thing didn’t dry my hands all the way. Duh.”

“Yo, Nick…that’s why you use the ‘dryer thing’ for more than like…two seconds.” I stepped aside as I saw AJ run up to jump on Nick’s back. “Now mush.”

“I’ll show you mush!” Now, I had to jump out of the way, as Nick started spinning around in circles. AJ’s arms gripped Nick’s neck as Nick tried to twirl faster. Here we are…in the middle of the parking lot…and these two are acting younger than me! Go figure. See? I told you…entertaining. Suddenly, I found myself frozen, thinking back to years past…again. What was with me today? Not that I was complaining, or anything…I was rather enjoying the sudden flow of memories.

I could picture a time…it seemed like I was around six, maybe…where Nick and my dad were trying to teach me the fine art, of basketball. The picture, in my mind, seemed fuzzy…yet clear, at the same time. On the edge, of the court, was a wooden bench, where I had sat down for a few minutes. I remember AJ running past me, screaming like some kind of crazy person that just escaped the mental hospital. I just sat there watching, and laughing, as AJ jumped onto my dad’s back…just like he had done to Nick only a few moments ago.

I started to walk slowly, behind the group, as I let my memories piece back together. Assuming my memories were accurate, I ran up to Nick, trying to get onto his back. His laugh filled the air, as he dropped to his knees, giving me the chance to climb up. The next thing I saw flash in my mind, was my dad and Nick twirling in circles, right next to each other…with me and AJ on their backs. When they finally stopped, we all fell to the ground laughing and unable to move because of the severe dizzy feeling.

That dizzy feeling penetrated my head, for only a moment, as I looked up to see AJ climb off Nick’s back. Both, of them, were stumbling and trying to re-gain their balance, as their laughter rang loud and clear. It was a sight to see…both the image before me, and the image in my head. My memory was now as clear as the scene before me, and I liked the feeling it gave me.

As my memories faded, into the back, of my mind…I realized something. How could I miss something so obvious? If I wanted to remember my dad and even my mom…I just had to pay attention to what was right in front of my eyes. Sure, they were all older now, but the guys had the same antics…the same goofy behaviors…the same habits, as they did all those years ago. Putting aside and forgetting all the problems, this group has had, they were the same guys.

Life has a funny way of giving you exactly what you need, without you even noticing it. Sometimes it feels like life is kicking you, right where it hurts, but if you step back and take a closer look…it’s really not as bad as you first thought. I’m starting to sound like Morgan here, but I’m seeing that it’s true. We have already covered that Nick isn’t as bad as I had thought, and that he really didn’t deserve my bad attitude, but I never really stopped to see that Nick is actually…exactly what I need. So much of him could help me remember my dad, if I only let it.

It’s not new years, but I’m making a resolution anyways. From now on…I’m going to stop, to look at the bigger picture…and allow myself to see the most obvious things that I have overlooked before. I will let myself see my parents, in the people around me.

Now that I think about it, maybe this will be one of those ‘easier said, than done’ things…but…all I can do, is try.