July had come and gone and the first week of August was here Millie had stayed away from everyone, except for AJ. He visited her occasionally and spent time with her, when her father wasn’t around. They had agreed on never telling anyone for the time being, not Howie and especially not her mother, it wasn’t like she would care anyways. She called the day of her wedding hoping for a good luck from her daughter, but Millie didn’t even bother speaking to her and found herself consoling her drunken father that night. Also missing Mason’s one year birthday party that same weekend.

“So I heard you were in the hospital again with the vertigo thingie. You should get some kind of check up. What if it’s a big deal you know?” Sarah looked at her eyes wide with seriousness.

“I’m fine…so I can’t believe we are already in August…” she slowly folded her clothes and put them in a bag. “The summer is almost over, I‘ll be going back home soon.” she looked out the window, noticing the children next door playing in their yard. She liked living with her father but her job and belongings were back in Orlando.

“I know…well lucky you got vacation time cause I‘m still working.” she smirked “Maybe you should stay out here with all of us. I mean most of the guys except for Howard hasn‘t moved…out…here. Oh!” she gave her a crooked smile, while Millie looked up at her with a pout “I’m sorry…that wasn’t meant to bring up old feelings.” she smiled as they made their way to the living room.

“Oh it‘s fine. I heard about…Leigh coming to visit him this summer.” Sarah raised her eyebrows “Don’t tell me you don’t know cause you’ve been going out lately with Nick!”

“Anyways, that doesn’t mean I know it all about them. Look you’ve been stressed so I don’t want to add to it ok. I HEARD that you told the poor thing to fuck off…and now your upset cause he hasn’t tried calling you. Well…”

Millie giggled “It was at the beginning and that was the least that he deserved. I made amends with AJ, so I think I should with him too. He’s more innocent than AJ.” they giggled.

“Yeah that would be nice…I’m glad your still going to baby-sit Mason for Kristen this weekend, we are going to Vegas baby!” she squealed at the thought. “Kristen, Kevin…me and Nick!” she sighed.

“Does this mean your in love? I mean Vegas…don’t go getting married now. Is Howie going to be at the house tonight?” she asked, hoping the answer would be ‘yes’ “I thought he and AJ were back to being friends? So I assumed he was staying with him now.” she began chewing on her nails.

“Oh yeah they are back to being buds, but he is still staying with Kristen and Kevin. He’ll be there tonight just while you get there…I think. Maybe it’s a chance to hear him out and make up. We all know you guys love each other…just forgive the poor guy. Listen I have to go and finish packing” she squealed again taking Millie’s hands and giving them a squeeze. “Love ya and see you later.” she kissed her cheek and exited the house “By the way you look much better.”

“I can‘t wait” Millie mumbled walking back to her bedroom.

Howie combed his hair and brushed his teeth at the same time. He knew Millie was coming tonight, it gave him a chance to try and make up for all his mistakes. She had been staying home, away from them for almost three weeks. They hadn’t taken it personal, assuming it was to watch over her father, since her mother had married in the middle of July. He smiled at the thought of seeing her smile and looking into her big brown eyes. He buckled his belt and tucked in his polo shirt, whistling away as he now made his way downstairs.

“Hello guys!” he whistled as Kevin and Kristen gave each other looks and answered him in unison. “Where is the little man?” he asked looking around the kitchen, noticing Mason wasn’t in his high chair.

Kristen smiled at his enthusiasm “He’s napping right now, he’s exhausted of doing nothing” she chuckled “Look at you…” she complimented him “I’m guessing you heard Millie is staying here this weekend?” he nodded “Well no funny stuff…I don’t want Mason traumatized.”

Kevin stared at his friend “You gonna tell her about Leigh? The girl needs to know.”

“Uh…” his stomach somersaulted as the words hit him. He hadn’t even remembered about Leigh, all he could think was that Millie was coming and that he’d be able to see her, look into her big brown eyes and maybe even touch her. “I have to…anyways AJ is coming around tomorrow we want to take Mason to the zoo if it’s ok with you two. Now that he walks…I can’t believe he is one already.” he quickly changed the subject, the twosome going along with him.

“I know me neither, I feel like I popped him out yesterday. I’m surprised Millie didn’t come to the party, she was probably with her dad.” she went deep in thought, recalling the busy, yet fun birthday party. The house had been crawling with people and children. There was food for days, clowns, a jumper, a couple of animals for the kids to pet and even pool time. It had been a peaceful day and Mason whom was the smallest person there had passed out by cake time.

Evening had fallen and the sky was slowly darkening, there was a warm breeze that flowed through Millie’s open window. “So you gonna be ok with Howie in the house?” her father turned to look at her as he maneuvered his way through the twists of the hills.

“Yes dad, actually it won’t be so scary knowing he’s there, I mean the house has no curtains and everything is out in the open. Plus we can talk and make peace.” she smiled suddenly feeling sick to her stomach “I hate these twists and turns they always make me sick.” she held her stomach as she felt the bile rise to her throat.

“Well I hope peace is all you’ll be making.” he raised his eyebrows, hoping the joke wouldn‘t bring her bad memories.

Giggling she patted his shoulder “Believe me that will be all…DAD!” the gate instantly opened as they pulled up to the house, they found Kevin hauling the luggage into a dark Blue Durango, Kristen holding Mason on her hip, while Sarah and Nick made out on the porch. “Hi guys!” she smiled and turned to her dad “You guys remember my dad. Right?” they all nodded and waved at him as she bent down into his window and kissed his cheek “No worries I’ll be fine, I’ll be calling you. No drinking while on duty dad!” she smiled and kissed his cheek again.

She watched as her fathers car disappeared and turned back to the busy group. Kevin had finished organizing the luggage and now yelled at the love birds to take a break so they could get on their way. “Hey sweetie. I had forgotten your dad is a fire fighter.” he kissed Millie’s cheek.

“Oh yeah…he still there. At the North Hollywood station.” she smiled back.

“Hi there, you look a little pale!” Kristen inspected her, just as the words came out of her mouth, Millie made a run for it.

Slamming the bathroom door as she hovered over the toilet and let out all the things she had eaten through out the day. Her head was now pounding and her stomach was empty, fixing her shirt and taking a blob of toothpaste on her finger and rinsing her mouth, she joined the group again “I’m sorry…it’s just that those twist and turns really make me nauseous.” she smiled sheepishly.

“Well you have Howie in case you need some help. Sure your ok?” Kristen had apparently handed over Mason to someone else, because her hands were now occupied by her purse and another bag.

“You guys don’t worry we will be fine. Have fun” Millie assured kissing Sarah’s cheek and giving her a big hug, she watched as they all hopped into the car and began towards the gate.

“Bye Howie watch her for me…” Sarah yelled sticking out of the car window.

Millie’s stomach flipped as she stood still, taking a couple of deep breaths to calm herself down and get the courage to turn and face him. As she turned her eyes locked with his, instantly she smiled as she watched him holding Mason so carefully. The churning in her stomach came back and her heart was pounding quickly and increased with every step she took towards him.

“Hi” he mumbled a beautiful smile came across his face as he watched her hair move with the breeze. For a second he was back in San Antonio standing on the bridge, but was pulled back to reality by a heavy warmth on his pants and his shoes.

Millie looked almost green as she came back up “I’m sorry…” she whispered, hand over her mouth as she heaved again, this time running to the bathroom.

Howie made a disgusted look as the stench of vomit hit his nose. “I love you too” he told himself out loud as he slipped off his shoes and walked carefully back into the house, placing Mason in his jumper. He carefully stuffed his pants into the washer and put on some sweats he had washed earlier. “Millie you ok in there?” he knocked on the bathroom door.

She opened and looked at him, her eyes were droopy and her body hunched over. “I’m really sorry…I just…I must have eaten something bad.” she suddenly began to feel dizzy, placing her hand on his shoulder to lean on, they walked into the living room.

“Let me get you some water” he said heading into the kitchen.

She took a seat on the sofa and was greeted by babbles and giggles. She stared at him, the tears pricking at her eyes. The small child only gave her grief, it made her think of that tragic night. She forced a smile towards Mason as he jumped and squealed “Hi there…” she spoke to him in a playful voice. “He’s so cute. I can’t believe he’s one already. Does he walk?” she shouted towards the kitchen.

“Yeah a week before his birthday. Everyone missed you, it was huge and fun!” he came back with a glass of bubbling water. “Alka seltzer should make you feel better.” he handed her the drink and sat next to her, watching her take small sips.

“I wasn’t able to come…my dad…”

He interrupted her “I heard you were sick…again” he inspected her face. She looked nothing like the Millie he knew, her eyes were sunken in, with black circles around them. She looked tired and sad, she was thinner than he remembered her. “You ok?” he asked wanting to place his hand on hers.

“I’m ok. Tired! I WAS sick…but it was mainly my father. He was really depressed those days. My mother just got remarried and well that broke his heart. He’s doing better, but I’m debating whether going back to Orlando or staying here with him.” she gulped down the last of the bubbly water and tried standing up, only to fall back on the couch.

“How about we get you into bed instead. Mason and I will be fine.” he tried getting her up.

“No, It’s still really early! I’ll be fine in a couple of minutes anyways my room is down here and you guys are upstairs. I hate this big house…and I can‘t be alone.” she was almost in tears.

Howie smiled at the fear in her eyes “Wow your sentimental today…uh ok you can sleep in Mason’s room or how about we move Mason’s playpen into my room. You sleep on the bed and I’ll sleep on the floor. That sound better?”

After a long sigh and taking a swim in his dark eyes she nodded “That sounds good.” she smiled at him. He helped her up and they stood really close to each other, she could feel him breathing and his hands on her waist. She broke the eye contact by clearing her throat “I’m hungry” she smiled.

He smiled back “Alright let’s see what we can make you.” he cautiously let her go and she stood firmly on her own. “Come on” she grabbed hold of a yawning Mason and followed him into the kitchen. After a sandwich each and a bottle for Mason, they stood in silence just staring at each other.

Howie cleared his throat and tapped his fingers in chorus on the marble counter “Listen I never got to apologize for being such an idiot. I know that what we did to you was really stupid and insensitive, but I‘m not sorry that we…” he inhaled. “I should have told you…but I knew that if I did…” his eyes looked away and he gazed at the tiles.

Millie just stared at him, she had lots to say, but didn't know how. Her courage only went so far, and she was really pushing it, by talking to him like nothing had happened. She was still hurt and her feelings for him were the same, but if he didn't say anything else, neither would she “I‘m just trying to forget about it. Not all of it, but the part where you broke my heart. So I accept your apology…”

He grinned from ear to ear “Thanks Millie! That means alot...I heard you made up with AJ…that‘s good!”

“Yeah at the hospital…we’ve been friends for so long.” She shook her head, putting down the small child who clumsily made his way back into the living room. Following him closely, she stopped to stretch “Do you mind if I change…?”

Howie nodded “No go ahead!” he took a seat with the baby, as they busied themselves with the toys,

Taking her bag, she walked into the bathroom and changed into her pajama pants and a tank. She stared into the mirror, her face was looking pale and the plain turkey sandwich was making her stomach churn. “Seriously this isn’t funny” she muttered to herself as she opened the door, her backpack flung onto her shoulder. Entering the living room she stared at Howie who talked softly to Mason as they played on the floor. Her eyes filled with tears as she watched him. For a second she thought about telling him, maybe he would understand. Or he would show her some affection by being as hurt as she was about their loss. No, he wouldn’t.

“Hey” the voice made her jump and place her hand over her mouth. “Are you ok?” Howie looked up from the floor where he sat Indian style. “Your looking like you might be sick again?” he smiled.

“Your right” she ran to the bathroom again, spewing out her sandwich once and again. A couple of minutes later she exited the bathroom and wiped her face with a wet rag “I told you…it was something” she began as she slumped onto the couch.

“Millie no offense, but you look awful. Maybe you should really get to bed huh?” he held Mason with one arm as he helped her up off the sofa.

“Yeah I guess so…I’m sorry…I‘m supposed to be babysitting Mason and instead your babysitting me!” she frowned as they made their way upstairs and into his room. She swung the door open and the scent of his cologne hit her nose making her smile right away. His things were on the dresser all organized and there was no sign of his luggage anywhere. He flicked on a lamp that dimly lit up the room and pulled the beige expensive looking blanket up from the neatly made up bed. He handed over the baby “Watch him for a sec gonna get his playpen.” he made his way out of the room.

“I’ll just lay him here for now” she whispered laying a tranquil Mason, who sucked on his pacifier next to her while Howie disappeared into the hall to grab the playpen.

A couple of minutes later he walked in “Alright we’re…” he watched as she laid curled up, Mason snuggled against her stomach the two peacefully asleep. He pulled the blanket over the twosome, grabbed a pillow and sat on the recliner, extending it out. Occupying himself by watching the them sleep.