The next day Millie awoke to a small bundle nestled into her ribs, she smiled at the sight of the beautiful child peacefully asleep. Then noticed Howie fast asleep on the fancy recliner his arms crossed and his head slightly falling off the chair, the same faint snore that she had heard on their trip came from his agape mouth. She giggled, then shrieked when his eyes flew open, he busted into laughter as she smacked him.

“You scared the crap out of me.” just as she made way to the bathroom to wash her face the doorbell rang.

“I”ll get it” Howie ran down to open and found AJ standing with a basket in hand and a big smile.

“Ready?” they embraced “Is she here? Damn it smells out here” he looked around.

“Yup…and yup! She hurled all over me last night.” he nodded pressing his lips together and raising his eyebrows.

“Wow you have that effect on her huh? Hum…shows she‘s not over your betrayal.” he entered chuckling and taking off his sunglasses he took a seat on the sofa.

Millie was feeling much better this morning. She had already washed her face and pulled her hair into a ponytail. Now she pulled on her jean skirt and a black and pink layered tank top.

Mason cried as she came out of the bathroom and cradled him in her arms “Ok…smells like a dirty diaper huh?” she took him into his room laying him on his changer she carefully unlatched his diaper from the sides and gasped at the sight of the green poopie sitting in his diaper. She scrunched her nose at the whiff “Howie!” she shouted as she heaved, covering her nose and mouth at the same time.

A couple of seconds later Howie stood at the doorway trying to catch his breath “What? What happened?” he asked concern all over his face. “Damn…” Coming close to the twosome, he moved his hand over his face trying to wave away the odor coming from Mason.

Heaving again she didn’t say a word and ran off, bumping into AJ at the doorway, but she continued her way towards the bathroom. “Ouch!” AJ held his shoulder as he watched her run down the hall. “What’s with the hurling?” he asked gagging at the smell “Never mind…” he was a little concerned, he remembered the doctor saying that she would be fine no more than a week after. It had almost been two weeks ago.

Howie stared at the small child that had found a toy and stuffed it in his mouth “How the hell does such awful smell come from a small butt. Tell me?” he held his nose as he pulled Mason’s butt off the diaper and instructed AJ to take hold of the infested thing. He thanked God at the moment that he wasn’t a father and didn’t plan on it either. Something he liked about Leigh, they had agreed that there would be no kids any time soon.

“Why me? I’m a guest and I know squat about kids!” he caught a glare from Howie who said nothing, since he held his breath. “Fine” AJ carefully took the diaper from under Mason and held it from both ends like it was a bomb and with any wrong movement it would explode. “Now what?”

Taking a deep breath Howie pointed to the trash can beside him “Shove it into that shit…I’ve seen Kevin do it. Hurry damn it.” he still held Mason’s little butt in the air.

AJ stuffed the diaper deep into the hole that sucked up the diaper like a vacuum. “Oh hell no! No kids for me never…and if so I’m having someone change their shitty diapers.” he looked at Howie who looked somewhat bothered by his situation “Well…clean him.”

“How do you do that?” Howie looked around for a rag “This is like the mommy job.”

“Well what does Kevin do next…after he puts the diaper in that thing?”

“Uh…usually Mason already has a clean one on.” he smiled sheepishly. “You know him he’s a pro…”

“Looks like he got a hang of the daddy thing quick. You on the other hand…would…uh suck!” AJ began pretending to laugh, the guilt of not telling his best friend he had been pretty close to being one, bothered him. His thoughts came to an abrupt stop as he caught a menacing glare from Howie.

Just as the two began to debate, Millie walked through the door. “Sorry!” she smiled weakly and giggled at the two men. “Jeez guys it’s just a little butt, not a bomb. Here” she took hold of Mason’s little feet and pulled out two wipes from a box under the changer. She wiped him clean and then grabbed a new diaper and tucked it under his bum, and wrapped it around him. “There he’s good as new” she smiled picking him up.

“Wow you would be a good mommy..." AJ quickly looked down at the carpet regretting his comment. Then he looked up apologizing with his eyes, she smiled. “Well how about you guys get ready. CLEAN Mason and I will wait for you downstairs.” he took the smiling child from Millie and began his way down the stairs “Ready to see the animals Mason?” he squealed with delight as his uncle AJ spoke “…yeah…me too…”

Millie and Howie looked at each other “Thanks for saving me there. I’m bad at the baby thing…I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for them. Actually I don’t want any…” he sighed, running his hand through his messy hair.

“What if…” she began, catching his dark eyes on her “Nothing…”

After an hour Millie walked down the stairs and met with AJ sitting his head tilted to the back and his feet up on the coffee table, his fingers clicking rapidly at the control “Who would think that with satellite there would be so many boring channels.” He laughed turning it off.

She smiled nervously holding Mason’s bag over her shoulder “I hope I got all I need…I’m not used to babies. Milk, diapers, wipes, extra clothes, cookies…I think that sounds about right?” she questioned, wanting more to declare.

“So how are things with you and D? Are you guys all made up now? I‘m sorry about what I said earlier. I didn‘t mean to…” he stood up “Millie…?”

Putting the bag down she sighed heavily “AJ don’t torture yourself over this anymore. Its done…everything about babies will always bring tears to my eyes and a nasty feeling in my gut…He's been nice and apologized. I'm just afraid of looking him straight in the eyes. You think he still...”

AJ quickly interrupted her "Listen…there is something I think I should tell you…” he stood up stuffing his hands in his pockets. “It’s about D”

“What? Did he tell you something….what do you want to tell me…” she smiled weakly.

“Oh…I‘ll have to tell you later.” they quickly shushed as they heard Howie coming down the stairs. “We’ll continue this later…” he whispered.

At the zoo it was as if the place had closed down just for them, it was rare to see a cute family standing all together observing the animals. Or a child running a muck, their parent running and yelling behind them. The day had been long and was coming to an end, everything had gone smoothly and swift. They looked at animals, ate different snacks and laughed at all the faces and giggles that came from Mason with each animal they encountered.

“Uh…I have to go to the ladies room” she smiled, pushing the stroller towards the guys.

“AGAIN!” AJ exclaimed “You went about ten minutes ago.”

“AJ…your counting the times I go to the restroom…” she placed her hands on her hip.

“No, he’s not…just go we will be waiting right here. Ok?” Howie gave her a smile as he smacked AJ.

Millie entered the bathroom, a sigh escaping her she was tired. And somehow she was still looking pale. She wet her hands and then slapped herself lightly a couple of times. As she dried off her hands, her cell phone rang. “Hello” she answered.

“Hey there! How’s it going?” Sarah sounded cheery on the line. “I’m waiting bitch!”

“Oh…I have bags under my eyes…massive heartburn and I’m going to be sick again…” she dropped the phone and hovered over the first toilet she could make it to. As she regained herself, she could hear Sarah nagging on the line “Sorry…” she groaned.

“Now that was…GROSS! You know I’ve been thinking…and what if…”

Howie’s jaw dropped as AJ waited for a response. “Well…what if that is the case? What would you do?” AJ nodded his head, as he held his sunglasses out to Mason to keep busy. Thinking if he gave Howie a clue, that he would bring the subject up with Millie later in the evening.

“I don‘t know...I mean that would screw everything up with…” Howie began to fiddle with his fingers and pace from one end to the other. “My mother would kill me…imagine! I was married, then getting a divorce, now getting back together and I might have a child out of wedlock.” his eyes opened wide. “Shit…no, I can’t. It would ruin all…my plans.” he stared at nothing.

AJ stared at his friend, realizing why he really hadn’t mentioned anything. Knowing Howie he would go crazy and by impulse he would screw up by making some dumb request. It was a good idea not to tell him anything.

Millie waltzed out startling the two men “Oh sorry…didn’t mean to interrupt…“ She smiled uncomfortably as the two men looked at each other. The constant throwing up was really getting to her, she felt her head spinning and her stomach churning. She couldn’t understand what the hell was happening. The surgery had been almost two weeks ago.

AJ cleared his throat “Are you ok?” he asked as he took her hand in his.

She nodded and gave him a warm smile “Sorry I got sick again.” she looked at Howie who still paced and mumbled to himself, AJ’s eyes also falling on him and then back on her. “I think we should go now.” she demanded.

“Sure…we have been here all day.” AJ tried breaking the tension with a chuckle as he took charge of the stroller and walked a couple of steps ahead.

The drive home was extremely quite nothing but the radio playing. “How about we listen to something soothing…” AJ said changing the station to some slow music playing.

Suddenly Millie’s stomach flipped as she heard the familiar song on the radio. Without thinking or saying a word she reached in between the seats and shut the radio off. “Sorry I have a headache and I hate that song.” she snapped taking her seat and staring at snoozing Mason.

Howie looked at AJ and vice versa. “I love Endless Love it’s a damn romantic song. Lionel Ritchie is the shit!” AJ shrugged. Oblivious to the meaning of that song between Howie and Millie and neither spoke a word, making the car go completely silent all over again.

AJ was more than ready to drop off the threesome, the day had gone pretty smooth. But he couldn’t stop noticing the paleness in Millie. He was hoping that tonight the twosome would be able to work something out. That maybe Howie would now have the guts to tell her that he planned on moving back to Orlando, but with Leigh. That Millie would tell him about the baby. He helped them unload and was quickly off to his own home, where he didn’t have to deal with the tension between them.

Millie walked into the room, she carefully placed Mason in his playpen which was now in Howie’s room. “Well good night” she said walking out of the room.

Howie walked after her “Wait your not staying in here tonight?”

She didn't know what had happened, but anger took over her. She hugged herself “I don’t think it’s a good idea. I‘m feeling sick again and…I don‘t want to be an pain in your butt. ” she placed her hand against the wall to maintain her balance as she felt the hallway move.

“Is something wrong Millie? You’ve been kind of weird and if something is wrong with you I want to know about it. You can talk to me you know.”

“Can I? I mean…you lied to me…you deceived me!” she swallowed the knot in her throat. “I forgave you Howie, but nothing will ever be the same and I just cant confide in you. We aren’t friends…and I’m fine.” she turned without giving him a chance to speak.

Before she could make it to the room she was already in tears. She sat on the corner of the bed, thinking that she should be honest and tell him. She was doing the same thing he had done to her. Not being honest. The thought of having a part of Howie growing inside of her was breath taking, but also gone. Long gone. For a quick moment she hugged her stomach as she sobbed loudly.

She sniffed away the rest of the tears and inspected her face in the mirror. Why did it hurt so much, she thought she could do this. Be around him without feeling anything, but every time his eyes locked with hers, she felt like her knees would give out on her. She walked out of the room and opened the sliding doors, she stood outside overlooking the oblong pool.

Howie sat on the bed, staring at the door. Hoping that Millie would walk in with a sheepish smile, because she had been to chicken to stay downstairs alone. But the more he stared, the more his hopes diminished. He stood up debating on going to look for her, he didn’t want to be alone around her. Something wonderful or drastic could happen, and quite frankly he was afraid of either one of them.

Slowly he made his way downstairs and found Millie standing outside. She hugged herself, and he could tell that she was crying. “Millie…” he whispered as he stood in the doorway. “Are you ok?” he asked.

“No…” she stated not looking back at him and still staring at the rippling water in the pool. “I thought this would be easy but it’s not.” she sniffled as she turned to look at him.

He stared into her eyes, he could see the sorrow and an unfamiliar pain in them. Her face had paled since they had arrived “Millie…I…” he looked around as he approached her placing his hands on each one of her upper arms and staring into her eyes. “Oh Millie…” he said pulling her towards him and hugging her tight.

At first she didn’t move, but as the familiar scent hit her nose, and the warmth of his body overwhelmed hers she wrapped her arms around him tight and buried her face in his chest. She could feel his hands stroking at her head and running down to her back, slowly she lifted her head to meet his eyes “I’m sorry…I just missed you so much…and seeing you…it‘s killing me.” the tears ran down her cheeks.

“Don’t cry Millie…I’m right here” he lifted her chin with his hand and closed his eyes. He felt her lips brush against his, then just like the first time he took the initiative of covering his mouth with hers. His hands cupping her face and her arms wrapped around his waist.

After kissing for what felt like an eternity, without a word he took her hand in his and walked her up the stairs into the his room where Mason laid in his playpen sound asleep. She stood watching him remove his shirt, her heart beating rapidly, her breathing elevated. He was gorgeous, his adoring smile, his roaming eyes and his now bare chest. She smiled as he stood face to face with her. Lifting her arms to give him access to strip off her shirt, he understood her unspoken request and lifted it over her head.

She let down her hair, it fell over her shoulders and down her back. Howie stared at her, she was as gorgeous as the first night he had been with her. He kissed the side of her neck, as he pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. He wanted to be with her so bad, he could feel his body yearning for her. So he cupped her head and pulled her against him, kissing her with vigor as she responded by unbuckling his pants and letting them fall to the floor.

They giggled as he did the same with her. Then she fell onto the bed and he came tumbling over her. He kissed her neck and then her shoulders, gently pulling the straps of her bra down. After a while of their roaming hands leaving them bare, he made a soft trail of kisses from her neck down to her stomach. Stopping at a fresh scar under her belly button, he ran his finger over it slowly.

She closed her eyes as she felt the tingling of his touch over her scar, their scar. A tear ran down the side of her face. He didn’t know what it represented. How it came about. And especially the pain it caused her and some day would cause him.

He wanted to ask, it was new. Instead he kissed it softly and continued his trail back up to her neck and then her mouth. Pushing himself into her slowly, moving with tenderness and watching her every facial expression. As she closed her eyes and let out a soft moan. He knew what he felt for her. What he was denying himself. He loved her. “I love you…” he said in his mind as their lips joined once again.