The room was overflowing with people and everyone was speaking over each other. Howie sat on a chair his head bowed, he wanted them all to shut up and leave him alone, to just go away. Especially the idiot leaning against the wall in the corner chewing on his nails, this was all his fault. His head was still spinning. What the hell had just happened?

“Guys…” his voice was hoarse and everyone continued trying to diagnose him, ignoring his voice. “Guys…I’m fine really.” it continued. “I’M FINE!!” he yelled, making everyone freeze and go silent. “I’m ok…”

The room was suddenly cleared out, leaving Nick, AJ and Brian standing in silence. “Maybe your pregnant?” Nick smiled, trying to lighten the mood, but they all turned to glare at him “What it could be…there is a possibility. Alright I’m leaving.” he kicked the floor like a child and walked out.

“Damn fool!” Brian nodded “Are you sure your ok? That was a pretty nasty fall.”

“I’m ok…I just need some time alone. Please!” Brian nodded and turned to look at AJ. “Take that ass with you.” he looked up to glare at AJ.

“You know what” AJ pushed himself off the wall “Let’s get this over with huh…if your mad at me for sleeping with her. Well I‘m sorry…but she didn‘t hesitate to jump…”

Before he could finish, Howie stood up and let his right fist connect with AJ’s face, he fell back. “Please not here you guys…” Brian pleaded.

AJ spit the blood from his mouth and grinned as he stood up again. “I understand why your so hooked.” Howie lunged at him, catching him off guard, falling back again and taking Howie with him. AJ pinned Howie to the floor and punched him once and then again. “She loves me too…just so you know.” AJ grunted.

“Get the…fuck…off of me” Howie ordered, suddenly turning around, now pinning AJ to the floor, his hands were at his throat. “You knew and know how I feel about her and you went ahead and slept with her…you were supposed to be my best friend” they glared at each other “You always want what everyone else has. I’m out of here…” he slammed AJ against the floor and stormed out of the room.

“Damn it AJ! What did you do this time?” Brian huffed with his hands on his side.

Later that night Millie sat on her bed, her eyes boring a hole in the ceiling. She couldn’t stop thinking of the pain she had caused Howie, or how awful AJ had talked about her. Best friend he was talking so badly about her, like she was just another one of his many lays.

A tall figure stood at the door, and made her jump “Dad?” she propped up on her elbows.

“Hey there sweetheart…I’m leaving for my shift. Are you going to be alright?” he raised his eyebrows.

She shook her head and got off the bed and hugged him “I’ll be fine dad.”

He tightened the hug till he heard her groan “You used to like these hugs…” he chuckled.

“I…do…but…I can’t…breathe!” he loosened his grip and kissed her cheek “Alright get some sleep.” he kissed her forehead and walked down the hall. She followed suit and slumped into the sofa as she watched him exit the house, she switched on the TV and absentmindedly clicked the control, channel after channel.

Later that night, AJ stood outside pacing back and forth, he didn’t know if he should knock. He’d had enough blows for the day, he flexed his sore jaw and twisted his throbbing wrist. With a deep sigh he set foot on the porch and rang the doorbell once.

Millie groaned as she woke from her slumber and stretched her body. She then jumped at the sound of the doorbell ringing, for a quick moment she had thought she was dreaming. Who could it be at this time? She looked at the clock on the wall as she looked through the peephole and groaned again. “Oh shit!” she muttered.

Although it was cold and he wore a sweater with a hoodie, his hands were sweating. The butterflies fluttered in his stomach as the door swung open and he looked into a pair of angry eyes. “What in the hell do you want?” Millie pressed her cheek against the half open door.

“Hey …” he stuck his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground.

“You look like a puppy with its tail between it‘s legs…” she pursed her lips and glared at him “You ruined everything…you selfish…!” she didn‘t have the nerve to finish her sentence the way she wanted.

AJ bit the inside of his cheek “I know Millie and I’m fucking sorry, but I was jealous and it was the only way to get back at you two. I’m really sorry. I love you…and I don’t want…” his chest heaved and a tear ran down his cheek “I don’t want to lose you.”

She covered her face, it broke her heart to see him in so much pain. “Oh AJ…don’t do that. You never cry…”

He stepped into the house and was swiftly at her side “For you I do…I’m sorry! I was just so angry, I knew you two had just been together and I just couldn’t handle it. He doesn’t deserve you Mill. He’s home with her now, you know.” he placed his palm over her cheek.

She stood still, closing her eyes at the sensation of his hands on her face. Trying to understand what it was that AJ did to her? This wasn’t the first time he screwed up, yet she couldn’t be as angry as she wanted to. Just with one touch, with the soothing sound of his voice the forgiveness was at the tip of her tongue. Silence filled the house as she let him embrace her, she stood still like she was hypnotized by the scent of his cologne, and the warmth of his body against hers.

He cupped her face and moved it up to his “I love you Mill. I know you love me too, your just fighting the feeling.”

“I’m not feeling anything AJ.” she whispered against his chest and suddenly reacted by pushing away and turning away from him “You keep hurting me and then I just forgive you. This time you really did it.” she whipped around “Why can’t you just let me be happy with him huh?” she pushed him “Why ALEX! I want to be happy with him…I don’t love you. I LOVE HOWIE!” she yelled pushing him again and again till he leaned against the wall.

AJ glared at her, he was breathing like a bull ready to charge. “FINE…love someone that will never love you back.” he hovered over her and pointed his finger menacingly “But when he rejects you and goes back to Leigh and your all heartbroken and need someone to pick up the pieces. I WONT BE HERE MILLIE!!!” he stormed out cursing under his breath.

“I WONT NEED YOU…EVER AGAIN! SO GO AWAY AND NEVER COME BACK!” she shouted back at him, slamming the front door. She threw herself onto the couch in a fit of angry cursing and crying. Knowing that she wouldn’t be able to live without him, that her life wouldn’t be the same if he stayed away. “Ugh! I hate myself” she mumbled to herself.

Howie placed his bags in the trunk of his car and then entered the house. He looked around the utterly quiet house. He assumed that Leigh was fast asleep, but he was anxious to talk to her. The flight had been long and he had been able to think everything through. He sighed heavily walking up the stairs, down the hall and into the bedroom.

There she laid, her hair spread upon the pillow, one of her long legs peaking from under the sheets. She slept soundlessly, her chest moving with each breath. He recalled all the nights while on tour that he missed laying next to her. “Leigh…” he whispered leaning into her ear, she groaned as she turned around. Her eyes opening slowly, and a smile spreading across her face as she saw her husband.

“I’m sorry I got tired.” her voice was groggy as she kissed his cheek. “I thought you wanted to stay out there for a couple of days, I was surprised when you called me…”

He placed his finger on her lips “Don’t worry about it…I was thinking on the plane…and there is something I need to get off my chest.” he cleared his throat.

Concern covered her face as she sleepily sat up against the headboard, her fingers running through his hair. “Your freaking me out Howard.”

He stared at the large frame across the bed, with a picture of the twosome during the wedding, Leigh in her snug white dress and Howie in his tuxedo, both smiling happily. “Remember how happy we were that day, man everyone kept telling us that we would be together forever and that nothing would break us apart.” he smiled, as she turned to look at the picture and knew nothing good would come from the conversation. “Leigh…I don’t think that things between us are getting any better.” 

“Oh God! Are you leaving me?” she began panting, giving herself air with her hand. “It’s her isn’t it. The kid! You want to leave me for the kid…just admit it, she’s a better lay than I am.” she continued mumbling random things.

“NO!” he choked “You left me first remember, fifteen minutes before I had to put on a show…YOU LEFT ME! You broke my heart that day and I still had to bounce around that fucking stage like my life was perfect.”

“Howard I told you that was a mistake. I came back.”

“Yeah after you tried it with someone else...it didn't work and that is why you came back.” she was speechless and he could see that many thoughts were running through her head “You can keep the house, the cars…everything if you want. I’m going to stay with Kevin for a while, until I can get a place here or there. I don’t know yet. This isn’t working for me Leigh, I don‘t want to feel forced to stay with you…when I‘m clearly not happy. I’m sorry Leigh. I just can’t.”

Leigh sat her hand over her mouth, no tears, no words, just a lost expression on her face as she watched Howie walk out the door.