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“Just Another Day”

Chapter Three: Angels Always Know


So I talked to the chick for three hours. Three hours! I don’t do that. Not over the phone especially. And it was to some random chick Chase befriended. But she could be someone trying to get a piece of fame. She could have known who we were and just have said nothing. So she could betray us both when she got close. It’s happened too many times. I was surprised at how calm she was with me. Especially when she said she didn’t know what I looked like. Even sounded surprised when I said she did too, like she didn’t know how she could know. Wonder if she even recognized Chase. Probably not. But what if she did realize who she met and just didn’t care about our statuses? Yeah, sure, like that could happen. That’ll happen when the hell that’s not on my earth froze over. Still, it was weird, for my world at least. She was interesting. Calypso was an anomaly in my world. Even if she was a fan, I would have given her my number by the end of the night just like I did last night all the same. There was something calming about her. The real test would be if my number was suddenly spammed with annoying fan calls. If they were I would change my number and not talk to her anymore. Cause that would prove her calmness was an act.

Chase came into the living room now that Cameron was content and we had finished eating. What they called food anyway, after I had hung up with Cally. He then spotted his cell phone on the table and glanced at me. I knew he was realizing he had left me with it. He raised a brow and watched me for a moment.

“Did you call anyone?”

“Now come on man” I sent him the grin I’m famous for, the one that’s half smirk, the one that made girls scream. Wonder if it could charm my best friend? “Why would you think I even touched your phone?”

He gave me a look and I laughed. “Because you always do.”

“Alright so I called one girl. I got bored.”

He watched me, pondered. I bet he was wondering if he had added Cally’s number in or not. “Who did you call?”

“Your newest friend.” I replied laughing. I knew he would get after me but it was worth the laugh. Especially when I saw the look on his face! Priceless stuff. It was worth it. The look in his eyes… I bet he was thinking I bragged about who I was or something.

“Nickolas James Cordele!!”

Uh oh, I had been three named. I hated my middle name. Hell I hated my full name. “Man relax, I didn’t do nothing but talk.”

He sighed and rolled those famous blue eyes at me. “She’s the first in a long time who met me and didn’t realize who I was. I could tell. It would be nice to talk to someone new WITHOUT being unsure if they were in it for fame.”

I snickered at him. “She doesn‘t know who I am either. At least she won‘t until I start yelling it to her over the phone. ”

He raised a brow and looked at me like I was crazy.

I smirked and ran a hand through my hair. It was getting long. Too long. Kept getting in my eyes and bugging the crap out of me. I needed a haircut. Oh well. Forget it. I’d do it when it annoyed me enough to remember. “She’ll figure it out sometime man,” I shrug. “And then she’ll want something, I guarantee it”

“Not everyone is like that Nick.”

“Everyone in my life is.”

“Nick-”

I shook my head and cut him off to avoid a feel good lecture. “I ended up giving her my number anyway. So don’t worry about her going fucking psycho or shit wanting to talk to me.” I taunted. Since he’s less popular than me to fans for some strange reason. I never did get why the fuck I was so appealing, especially supposedly more than the fellas. But it didn’t matter, they had what I wanted and I’d trade all the fans I could for that.

“You need to watch your mouth more.”

“I do around Cameron.”

“I meant in general”

I just shrugged.

He looked up and sighed. “You make me wonder often why the good Lord sent you to me to deal with.” He joked.

I just laughed. “Because I’m special so so special that’s why.”

He watched me again with a serious look on his face. I could see the concern on his face. See what I mean? They worried too much about me. “You know you can stay here again tonight.”

“Nah, I don’t wanna keep putting ya out. I’ll go back home tonight.”

I could see he was trying to think of a new way to convince me but I knew I would go back no matter what he said. So what if it was just an empty apartment? They didn’t need to know nothing has ever felt like home. The closest thing that ever felt like a home in my life was a damn tour bus. That was one of the more pathetic parts of being me. I just didn’t want to deal anymore. I just didn’t. That was the messed up thing about life. You couldn’t make the pain end without making everything end. At this point though, I was almost ready to consider that option.

For me, it wouldn’t be the first time I considered it.

**********


So it had been a few days since Nickolas called me. Sorry, I meant Nick. He told me at the beginning to call him that. I was trying to force myself when thinking of the chaos that became my life, to call him Nick in my mind. Lordie knows if I slipped and we actually ever talked again that would be bad. Although I did like the sound of Nickolas. Irony much, because it had always been one of my favorite guy names. God, Cally get him out of your mind! It wasn’t a big deal. Just a phone call where he flirted. There was no way we would talk again though. I was lucky Chase and I talked after we met. We had called each other maybe twice. Talked, he was a good guy to talk to. Great for advice. I caught on to that quick. I started hanging out with Chase a little more, he was a cool guy. At first I was weary to make sure he wasn’t some psycho but that went away. I hadn’t talked to Nick in awhile. I never mentioned to Chase but it bugged me. I wasn’t sure why. So why couldn’t I get a three hour phone conversation with Nick off my mind? Even my friends were noticing…

Izzy had come over while my parents were out. They went out and about often now. Now that they have an 18 year old daughter instead of a 17 year old one anyway. It annoyed me cause I did try to make things better with my parents. I honestly tried. We loved each other, but problems you have don’t go away you know? We never tried to fix problems. We ignored them and then they came back. It was more just personality conflicts that never got resolved. I tried to but whatever I guess.

“Here” She handed me an album. “Listen to them they are awesome and I’ve been trying to get you to forever, so humor me!”

“Fine, fine.”

“You’ll love it.”

Here was the crazy thing. The crazy dear god this can’t be real because real life never worked like that deal. Isabelle had brought over an album of this mainstream group she thought I’d love. I had nothing wrong with mainstream, I just never paid attention to it. I’d find it on my own pace, like I did with No Doubt. Well, it was this group called Rising Phoenix. As I popped the album in, I looked at the cover. And dead center there was Chase. Oh dear Lordie. He had looked familiar, had said he dabbled in music, but this? This was beyond anything I expected. It explained why he had watched me so careful like though. He was waiting to see if I was a fan! Oh my Lordie. I flipped open the packet to see if I could get more information. Now I was short of the side of flipping out. Izzy said they were huge. There were four guys in the band, alrightie. Chase, twenty five years old, married… knew all that. Nick Cordele, twenty two, closest to Chase in the group. Oh wow, bezel my jezels. He’s cute. Could that be? It had to right? Oh…my.

“You okay?”

“Uh, yeah, just all spacey is all.” I decided not to tell her. For all I knew, I could be wrong. And if I wasn’t, I knew she’d freak and I was so not up for that. I didn’t want her trying to track them down either. I set down the case as the music came through the speakers. Better not to think on it right?

Isabella just looked at me and laughed, her dark brown hair framing her oval shaped flawless face. She had a cuteness about her that guys thought sexy, she wasn’t skinny but she wasn’t enormous, (a bit smaller than me) but she was adorable. Her hazel eyes sparkled knowingly.

“What?” I asked, obviously not in on the joke.

“Who is he?!”

I look at her like she’s nuts. “What do you mean?”

She grinned and squealed. Iz was the one female friend I trusted, and she was a tomboy but not the way I was. She had more feminine traits in her than I ever did. Way more. Maybe that’s what guys liked about her. “There’s a guy, I know it is! You have the look!”

I giggled at that one. “What look? There’s a look?”

“Yes there’s a look and you have it so who is this guy and when can I meet him. Well…your look says you’re interested but you don’t know him extremely well yet. Just interested.”

“You’re out of your mind Iz.”

“I’m right. I know it.”

“Nah, remember guys don’t look at me like that.”

“They will. And when one does, he’ll be special.” She shrugged and leaned back. “I guarantee it.”

I turned the CD player off as we went to chill by the TV. We watched action movies most of the night. The occasional chick flick to her insistence. I wasn’t much for those. Gag me. It started with me not wanting to ever be reminded that I couldn’t live the characters in the movies lives even if I wanted to. Then after awhile when I watched them for friends or whatever, I noticed they all had the same plot. Boring. Yawn. It’s like taking a freaking nap. So by the time she left it was around 2:30 am. I couldn’t sleep. I was just I don’t know. Feeling lonely? We had watched the movie “Dirty Dancing” last and it just really got to me. My parents had come home an hour ago but the place was silent and felt really empty even if it wasn’t. I grabbed my cell and looked through the address book on it. Couldn’t call Teddy, he had to be sleeping by now. And getting up early thanks to the Navy. Couldn’t call Sebastian. His cell number got disconnected and I was stuck with emails and waiting for a new number. Isabella just left. Didn’t want to call a few of these numbers cause I couldn’t confide in them. I didn’t feel comfortable. Then Chase’s number came up and I figured he had to be sleeping. He had to be tending to his kid if he was awake. I noticed Nick’s number. He had said a couple days before when we talked and he gave me his number, I could call any time. He said he didn’t sleep much at night so it wouldn’t matter. But was he just being nice? Since he gave me that number I hadn’t used it. He had mine too but he hadn’t used it since he borrowed Chase’s cell anyway. I couldn’t shake the feeling though. I hated feeling down like this and when I got that way not much could get me out of it. I was about to put the cell back when I just thought I should call. I almost didn’t but I did. I speed dialed his number and listened to it ring. At the time I didn’t realize it but it was the best thing I could have done.


***********


That night was a blur to me to be honest. I was in my apartment after a night out. Just to forget. It didn’t matter what the hell happened to me anyway. I didn’t care. By the time I got back I was sobering up some and the hangover really came in. I wasn’t exactly sober but I wasn’t crazy freaking drunk anymore either. I was still pretty out of it. I just know I was depressed beyond reason. I was sick of waiting for it to end. I was just a waste of breath and space.

Why not save everyone from worrying and just do it myself now?

Forget the world and whatever plan it had. Forget God cause He doesn’t care about me the way Chase always said he did. Screw fate. I didn’t care about destiny or whatever it is that made my life so Goddamned hard. Just screw it all. I had the stuff to end it. I really did. I had to do something first though. I had to write a letter to Chase. He was my best friend. I owed him that much. So he wouldn’t blame himself. I started writing it out online in a long ass email. Might as well say all the shit now cause after tonight until whatever fucking afterlife waited for us all, I wouldn’t be able to fucking say it again. So then right as I was finishing it with “I’m going to try and if God doesn’t want me to die I guess he'll just have to send one of his angels”………

I was ready to do it. All I had to do is save it and send. Then, I could finally escape.

The phone rang. I groaned and checked who it was. Damn, it‘s Cally. Ah, crap. I can’t let her think she could have stopped this when it hit the news the next day. Sure she doesn’t know who I am now but she’d know the day news of my suicide came out.

So I answered.

“Helwo?“ Great I sounded sleepy. Let her think that. Didn’t matter, it would end soon.

“Hi, Nick? It’s um, yeah its me…..Cally” Wonder if she knew she sounded cute when nervous. At least she won’t blame herself now.

“Oh hey.”

“Did I wake you? Sorry I called this late.”

“Its coo.”

“What are you doing up this late?”

“Jus got in, hangovers fucking suck.”

“Yeah they do, you just shouldn’t drink then.”

“Works when I fucking wanna forget shit.”

“Doesn’t help though.”

“it does for me. Fuck the worlb is my helllllll and everyone in it tries to keep it that way for meeeeeee. All cause I‘m…I‘m not…peeerfect and I gotsa DUI…” I could hear the slur in my own voice. Why was I rambling so bad? Man I never gushed like this. Even drunk.

“I doubt that’s true.”

“Heh…”

“Listen since you have a hangover I’ll let you go but….” She really sounded nervous now. Like she wanted to say something important. Wonder what it was. Eh oh well. As long as it ended soon. So I’m selfish sometimes. I earned it. So I was right then. Sue Me.

“But wha? Loooook…Sorry I’ma asshole Callllllllly….” Damn I was still drunk, sobering but drunk. My head hurts like hell too.

“You know you’re really not an asshole.”

“Yes I am.”

“No, you’re not! So what if you screw up sometimes? You’re not an ass, and from the little I know, you’re a good person. I can tell when we talk for hours on the phone. You can’t fake everything.”

“Loooook I-”

“And you shouldn’t be getting drunk to drown out the problems, I know from Chase you have people who care about you…and I want to be one of them.” I heard Cally say sincerely. I could hear the concern in her voice. Something rare in my world. “I mean it.“ Then there was silence between us for a couple minutes. “Sorry to um bug you…night Nick.” She said hurriedly as if she realized what she said and was embarrassed. Then she hung up.

I listened in my head to what she said.

You have people who care about you…and I want to be one of them.

My eyes went to my email. It listed all the problems I had, why I was done with life. Then I thought about what would happen after. The guys, they would be the ones who’d be hit the worst by it. They were the ones who cared, who’d be upset. I didn’t care if my family did, they earned it. But what had the fellas done to deserve that? Nothing. And then here was this girl, who barely knew me, but was able to tell I needed to hear what she had to say. For now, that was enough to keep me around.

I didn’t commit suicide that night. I threw out the stuff I was going to use to do it. I saved the email, but never sent it.

God had sent one of his angels just in time to keep me alive. Because angels? They always knew when they were needed I guess. Or for one night at least, they did.