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Chapter 7


The next morning Spencer was up bright and early as expected. As Rachel fed him breakfast she kept thinking about everything Nick said the night before. Rachel watched her son closely. Sometimes she felt trapped the same way Nick did, by her own responsibilities. Being a single mom was tough. As Spencer dribbled Cheerios all over himself, Rachel thought back to the day she realized she was on her own. For a brief moment the thought of an abortion crossed her mind, but no matter how hopeless the situation seemed at the time, she just couldn’t do it.

Rachel wiped a Cheerio off the side of Spencer’s face and laughed. He may be a lot of work, and Rachel may be missing out on a lot of things people her age are doing, but he was worth it. Never once, since the day he was born, had Rachel regret having him. Even when throwing temper tantrums that little boy could melt her heart, and when he did, everything she went through on a daily basis simply didn’t matter.

Again Rachel’s thoughts turned to Nick. All she needed to do was make Nick realize how much the trials in his life, in this case it was his career, meant to him, and then decide if it was worth it. But how was she going to do that? Maybe spending some time away would do him some good. Then maybe he would see how much he missed it. Rachel shook her head. He was way too stressed out about it right now and needed time to clear his head before he could think rationally about the whole situation. That’s when the idea came to her. The light went on inside Rachel’s head and inspiration struck. Rachel picked up her phone and dialed Nick’s number. “Hello?” Nick answered groggily.

“Hey!”

“Rachel?” Nick asked still half asleep.

“I’m bored and you’re not doing anything so I’m coming over,” she teased. “I need directions to your house.”

“I am doing something,” Nick argued. “I’m sleeping.”

“Not anymore. It’s my turn to see you without your make up on.”

When Nick realized that he had a smile on his face despite how early it was, he gave in and told her how to get to his house. Nick didn’t think it was possible to have a bounce in his step at seven in the morning, but as he made his way to the shower he was practically skipping. He laughed at himself but deep down he was excited.

Nick was excited that Rachel had called at all. After the last two times he’d seen her, he was worried that she was just being nice. After he went to bed last night all he could think about was how stupid he must have looked literally crying in her arms, so when he woke up to her voice he was extremely relieved.

There was sort of a playful excitement in Rachel’s voice that Nick seemed to soak up like a sponge and for the first time in a long time, Nick found himself singing in the shower. It used to be that you couldn’t get Nick Carter to stop singing no matter where he was, but after so many years, and all the stress of his career, somewhere along the way he forgot that singing was fun. Now, he couldn’t even remember the last time he sung anything just to be singing. This morning’s version of Madonna’s Material Girl was a little rusty, but full of heart.

For the first time in a long time Nick was excited to face the day ahead of him. Rachel didn’t tell him what she was up to, but it really didn’t matter. He would have been happy just going on a walk the way they did the first time they met, but he could tell there would be more to it than that. All Rachel told him was that she had the entire day off and that if he had any plans he had to cancel them. Fortunately for him, he only had one short meeting scheduled for later today about final scheduling of the upcoming tour, but he figured he didn’t really have a say in that so he was pretty sure it would be ok to skip it.

By 7:30 Rachel was knocking on Nick’s door. She half expected to find him still in bed, and when he greeted her with an enormous smile showered dressed and ready to go, Rachel was truly surprised. “Well I didn’t have you pegged for a morning person,” she laughed setting Spencer down.

“I don’t think I’ve been up this early if I didn’t have to be since I was like 6 years old,” Nick admitted, “so you better have a good reason for making me get up.”

Rachel smiled devilishly and shook her keys. “So you ready to go then?”

“That depends on where we’re going,” Nick replied playfully.

“We’re taking a sick day.”

A confused but excited Nick looked curiously at Rachel. “Haven’t you ever seen Farris Buler’s Day Off?” Rachel asked.

Nick shook his head, actually a little embarrassed that he’d never seen the movie. “I know, it’s supposed to be a classic,” he mumbled.

“You really have missed out on a lot, haven’t you?” Rachel replied utterly amazed that there was actually someone her age that hadn’t seen it. “I guess we’ll just have to add that to the to do list now, won’t we?”

Nick shrugged, not sure if he was supposed to answer that question or not. He was dying to know where Rachel was about to take him. He loved surprises, but was never on the receiving end of them. “So, are you going to tell me where we’re going or not?” he asked impatiently, as he climbed into the passenger seat of Rachel’s car.

“I can’t.”

“You afraid I’m not going to like the answer?” Nick pried, “What? Are you really some crazy stalker about to kidnap me?” he asked, playfully questioning her with his eyes.

Rachel could have come back with a million different sarcastic remarks for that statement, Nick made it really easy that time, but instead, she chose just to smile lovingly at him. Not that she didn’t love playful banter, but people tent to hide their true feelings behind sarcasm way too much, and today was not just about having a great time, it was about discovering the truth. If Rachel was going to help Nick with his dilemma, then she needed to know the real Nick Carter. She needed to find out what made him tick and what was really in his heart. The problem was she wasn’t sure Nick even knew the answer to that question.

Rachel stared into his eyes as if she were tearing off all the layers that made him up. As she smiled, Nick quit laughing at his own joke. He felt himself blush under her gaze but he couldn’t pull his eyes away from her face. The look on it was too intoxicating. Her eyes twinkled, lighting up her entire face, and yet there was a hint of sadness in them. The only word Nick could think to describe the way she looked was genuine. At that moment Rachel seemed 100 percent genuine. In Nick Carter’s world that was rare. Everyone he met had an agenda. They were always after his money or his fame, or, they were hoping he could help them with their own careers, and some were just in it for the bragging rights.

Nick’s mind went down the list. Rachel was a doctor so she didn’t really need money and he knew she wasn’t looking for her 15 minutes of fame, because he practically had to drag her kicking and screaming to the AMA’s. She’d already made it very clear that she wasn’t interested in him romantically, and strangely enough, that didn’t seem to bother him. And, she had absolutely no ties to the entertainment industry so she wasn’t looking for her big break.

For the first time in his life Nick was truly stumped. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more confused he became. What on earth was she doing here? She didn’t seem to have a single reason for being here except that maybe she just wanted to be. Maybe she just liked him and wanted the company. Was that even possible when someone was as famous as Nick? Nick wanted to tell himself to be wary of her, but as much as he tried he just couldn’t find a reason.

Nick had now been studying Rachel long enough to make her feel self-conscious. It was obvious that he was lost in his thoughts and Rachel wondered what those thoughts were, and what she’d done to trigger them. She shifted in her seat and reached out for the steering wheel. After nervously clearing her throat she quietly whispered, “So, are we ready then?”

Nick quickly realized he was staring and immediately diverted his eyes. “Um, yeah,” he muttered reaching for his seatbelt.

“Great!” Rachel said with renewed excitement. “Where we goin’?”

The confusion on Nick’s face made Rachel giggle. “What do you mean?” Nick asked, “I thought that you…”

Rachel smiled again with that same genuine smile. “Today is all about you,” she explained. “This is your sick day, not mine, so today we are going to do whatever you want. There’s no one here to stop us. No one telling us what we can and can’t do.”

Nick was still totally lost. This might be more difficult than Rachel thought so she tried a different approach. “OK, close your eyes and picture yourself sitting in a large conference room with the other Backstreet Boys,” she commanded.

Nick tried not to laugh as he closed his eyes but he played along and envisioned the room. It wasn’t hard considering he was in that situation just yesterday. In fact, that reminded him that he need to call and tell them that he was not going to make today’s meeting. “Trust me,” Rachel said when she saw the smirk. “Now, add your manager, or producer, or agent, or whatever it is you have.”

“I have all of those and then some,” Nick laughed with his eyes still shut tightly.

“Even better,” Rachel said. “Picture them all. Picture the head of your label, your publicist… your mother… and anyone else who might tell you how to live your life.”

At first Nick felt silly, but the more Rachel talked, the more vivid the picture became in his mind, and the more crowded that conference room got. The feeling of silliness was quickly replaced with claustrophobia. Feelings of stress, anger, resentment, helplessness and even fear, began to take over his mind. “Now,” Rachel whispered seeing that he was getting upset. Her voice instantly calmed him. “Get up from the table.”

Nick no longer felt silly. He was too engrossed in the image in his mind. He may as well have really been in that room. “Turn around, walk out the door and shut it behind you.”

Rachel watched curiously as the tension eased from Nick’s face. Without realizing it, Nick released a deep breath. He sat for a minute, listening to the silence, and then slowly opened his eyes and stared at Rachel in bewilderment. “How did you do that?”

“Stay focused,” Rachel giggled. “Now that you’re free, what is it that you have always wanted to do, but never have? Right now we’re only thinking of you.” Rachel paused a moment and then said, “Now, tell me where we’re going.”

For a split second Nick’s entire face lit up but he instantly mustered the excitement. “I dunno?” he shrugged.

“HA!” Rachel yelled, “I saw that look! You know exactly where you want to go.”

“It’s nothing,” Nick said shaking his head.

“Tell me!” Rachel demanded.

“It doesn’t matter. I couldn’t do it anyway. It’s stupid really.”

“Whatever it is it can’t be that bad. And they can’t stop you! They’re locked in a conference room, remember?”

Nick let a laugh escape and Rachel was glad to see his spirits were still up. “So where is it we’re going?” she asked again.

Nick still hesitated. “Nick, for once in your life be a little selfish and indulge yourself. What good is your life if you can’t control it?”

Rachel was now pleading with Nick. The urgency in her voice surprised him and he finally let go of his restraint. “I want to shave my head,” he blurted out.

Rachel had to try her hardest not to laugh at the poor guy. “That’s what all the fuss is about? A haircut?”

Nick shrugged. “I’ve always wondered what I would look like with a shaved head but I’m always ‘advised against it’,” Nick said sarcastically, as he made quotation marks with his fingers. “In manager talk that means no.”

“But why would that matter?”

“Are you kidding me?” Nick laughed. “The baby face of the Backstreet Boys shedding his golden locks? I’m supposed to be the teenage heart throb.”

Rachel grinned and turned the key in the ignition making the car roar to life. “That’s it. We’re decided then.”

Nick’s eyes grew big. “Are you kidding? I can’t really do it.”

“What are they gonna do, drop the Backstreet Boys from their label over 2 inches of hair?”

Nick looked sheepishly at Rachel. It sounded so stupid when she said it. Rachel snickered again. “Are the other Boys going to kick you out of the band? If you really are the heartthrob, then they know as well as you do that they can’t do that. The worst that could happen is they get mad at you for a while, and from what I saw the other night, they probably already are so it really won’t make a whole lot of difference now, will it? I say screw ‘em and let’s go cut your hair.”

Nick was surprised by Rachel’s frankness, but he liked it. The corners of his mouth curved upward and he raised his eyebrows curiously as he began to see Rachel’s point. “Besides,” Rachel said finishing her spiel, “you may still be the baby of the group, but you’ve definitely grown up.” Nick felt himself blush. “And so have your fans. I’m sure they’ll think you’re gorgeous no matter what.”

Nick sat a moment, contemplating the idea, and then smiled. “OK, let’s do it!”

Rachel grinned and then immediately backed out of Nick’s driveway. There were all kinds of butterflies in Nick’s stomach as he thought of shaving his head. It wasn’t that he was nervous about what it would look like, but it was sort of like he was rebelling. It was kind of exciting and Nick could hardly hold still as Rachel pulled into a small strip mall. “Supercuts?” A very unimpressed Nick mumbled as he stared up at the neon sign in front of him.

“Snob,” Rachel giggled.

“I’m a rock star. What’d you expect?” Nick laughed only half teasing.

“You’re a POP star!” Rachel fired back.

“Hey now! That’s hitting below the belt,” Nick said, pretending to be offended but then chuckled. “And besides, pop stars have to be way more conscious of their looks. It’s all part of the image.”

Rachel shrugged. “Yeah, you are a bunch of pretty boys.”

“You know you love it.” Nick smirked.

Rachel tried not to humor him but she couldn’t help the grin on her face. “Get out of the car,” she replied with a hint of annoyance that Nick one-upped her.

“I’m not going in there. That’s the kind of place my white trash mom goes after her Lee press-on nails dry,” Nick said more than just half serious this time.

Rachel laughed again. “You’re getting your hair chopped off. What are they gonna do? Buzz it crooked?”

Nick wrinkled his nose and didn’t budge from his seat. “All right mister high and mighty,” Rachel said in a voice that made her toddler look nervous. “If you want to hang out with me, this is the price you have to pay. Either you get out of the car right now and have an adventure, or I’ll take you home, and you can call up your pretty boy band mates and make spa appointments together like a bunch of homos.”

Nick’s mouth dropped open. He wasn’t sure if he was more surprised at what she said or the way she said it. Either way, he was astonished that she was able to say it and keep a straight face. Nick tried to hold back his own laughter as he thought about arguing with her some more, just for the fun of it, but when he saw the look on her face he decided just to do as he was told.

Rachel smiled, satisfied with herself, when Nick got out of the car. She grabbed Spencer from the back seat and went into the salon. Nick pulled his baseball cap low over his eyes and glanced around to make sure no one was looking before he followed her inside.
Nick looked nervously at his own hair in the giant mirror in front of him as a heavyset woman in her late forties draped a cloth around him. The woman smiled cheerfully at his reflection and said, “So what are we doing today?”

Nick glanced at Rachel who was sitting in the empty chair next to him holding Spencer in her lap. She flashed him an encouraging smile and he turned his attention back to the bubbly stylist. “Can we shave it?” he asked almost timidly.

The woman was really surprised by the suggestion but smiled anyway. “Are you sure you want to get rid of this beautiful hair?” she teased running her fingers through the golden locks.

“Are you trying to make me nervous?” Nick said forcing a laugh. If she was, it was definitely working.

“I’m just making sure, because I can’t exactly put it back when I’m done.” The woman joked examining the well cared for hair. “You must have paid a fortune for these highlights,” she giggled and winked at him.

Nick thought back to the previous week. He had to get up at four a.m. to have them done before the video shoot, when he didn’t think he needed them in the first place. He glared into the mirror remembering the crazy chain of events that led him to the chair he was now sitting in and a defiant look crossed his face. “I’m sure,” he said. “Get rid of it!”

“Alright sweetie.” The woman said happily giving way.

The woman reached for a pair of scissors and grabbed a chunk of Nick’s hair. Before she could cut it, Rachel stopped her. “May I?”

The woman giggled and handed over her scissors. Rachel set Spencer down in the chair and smiled really big. Nick held his breath and shut his eyes tightly, as if it were going to hurt when Rachel grabbed a handful of his hair and sliced it off. She held the hair in front of Nick’s face and his eyes grew wide. “No turning back now,” she teased and handed the lady back her scissors.

Nick let go the breath he’d been holding. “They’re gonna kill me,” he said.

“Ah, ah, ah! I don’t want to hear any more talk about ‘them’ today. This is a Nick day, remember?” Rachel warned.

Nick watched Rachel curiously as she put tape around the lock of hair to keep it all together. “What are you gonna do with that?” he asked.

“I dunno.” Rachel replied casually, “Sleep with it, wear it around my neck…”

“I knew you were really a stalker!” Nick laughed.

“I’m only kidding.” Rachel replied but then grinned wickedly, “I’m gonna sell it on Ebay.”

Nick gave Rachel a disgusted look. “You wouldn’t.”

“Do you know how much money I could get for this? This tiny little perfect lock of hair? I bet I could get like a couple hundred bucks.”

“You better get at least a thousand, for as much crap as I’m going to get for shaving my head,” Nick laughed.

“Are you somebody famous or something?” The stylist asked as she ran the clippers over Nick’s head.

“Sort of,” Nick said and Rachel was surprised to see him blush. “I’m a singer.”

The woman’s face lit up with a hint of recognition. “Oh I know, you’re one of those ‘Nsync boys aren’t you?”

Rachel snickered and Nick shot her a nasty look. “Um, it’s the Backstreet Boys actually.”

“Oh well, I was close.” The lady laughed with a sigh.

Nick tried to keep the smile on his face. He wanted to tell her just how NOT close she was, by mistaking him for one of those no-talent, carbon copy, hacks that gave the Backstreet Boys such a bad rap back in the 90’s. To Nick, there was no greater insult than mistaking him for a member of ‘Nsync.

More like ‘NSUCK! he thought, and laughed to himself at the lame joke, but Nick knew the woman meant no harm by the comment. She obviously wasn’t very familiar with either of the rival groups. So instead of explaining it to the woman, who probably didn’t care anyway, he just flashed her the famous Nick Carter smile and changed the subject back to the lock of hair Rachel was twirling in her fingers. “So really, what are you going to do with that?” he asked.

“It’s for you,” Rachel finally admitted. “You took a big step today. This is a cool keepsake. Take it home and stick it in your journal or something.”

“I don’t keep a journal,” Nick laughed.

“You should,” Rachel replied. “It’s a great outlet.”

“Outlet for what?”

“For all those thoughts and feelings you keep bottled up inside.”

“That’s so girly,” Nick said wrinkling his nose.

“And that’s a typical male response,” Rachel argued.

“Well I’m a typical male,” Nick said puffing up his chest.

“A typical male with no hair,” the stylist laughed brushing the lose hair from Nick’s shoulders. “You’re all finished.”

Nick and Rachel dropped their argument and stared at Nick’s reflection, examining his head. Nick studied himself in the mirror and then ran his hand over the stubble. After a moment he smiled. “Kiss my ass fellas! I like it.”

“I’m glad you like it,” Rachel laughed, “but watch your mouth in front of my kid.”

“Oh yeah, sorry.” Nick said and winked at the toddler.

Spencer giggled at Nick. “He likes it too,” Nick said and held his arms out. “Come on little man, let’s get out of here.”

Nick picked up Spencer and went to pay the cashier. Rachel smiled at the way Nick seemed almost giddy. She followed him to the front of the salon and just as they were about to walk out the door a beautiful brunette, about the age of 20, walked through the door ready for work. She smiled as she passed them but stopped dead in her tracks when she realized who was standing there. Nick knew she recognized him and a smirk slowly spread across his face. Rachel was fascinated watching ‘Nick Carter’ in action. He flashed the girl a big smile letting her know it was ok to approach him. “Nick Carter?” she asked in surprise.

“In the flesh,” he said flirtatiously.

“What are you do-“ the girl stopped mid sentence when she saw Nick’s new look. “Oh my gosh, your hair!” she gasped.

She reached out as if she were going to touch his head but caught herself. Nick laughed. “Go ahead, it feels kinda cool.”

The girl blushed but then rubbed his head. “All your beautiful hair is gone,” she sighed.

“So what do ya think?” he asked.

The girl looked at him for a minute and then smiled dangerously, “I think it’s sexy,” she said, obviously throwing herself at him.

“Glad you like it,” Nick replied, eating up the attention.

Rachel wanted to gag as she watched the gross interaction, but she was really amused when the girl realized for the first time that Nick was holding a baby. “Who’s this?” she asked.

“This is my buddy Spencer,” he said proudly. “Say hi, little man.”

“Hi, little man,” Spencer mimicked and then shyly buried his face in Nick’s chest.

“Hi Spencer,” the girl whined. “Aren’t you just too cute!”

The girl tickled Spencer and Rachel officially had enough. She coughed suggestively to get their attention. “I’ll see you outside,” she said trying her best not to laugh. She walked outside and Nick suddenly remembered that she was there. “Well I should get going,” he said to the girl.

The girl looked curiously at Rachel but didn’t ask about her. “Call me sometime,” she said and handed Nick one of her business cards.

Nick took the card and gave her a wink as he walked out the door. Moments later, he was realizing he had no idea how to strap his newly discovered chick magnet into his car seat. “Little help?” he said fiddling with various straps and buckles.

Rachel laughed to herself and secured Spencer safely in his seat. Nick hopped in the front and flipped open the vanity mirror in order to get another look at his head. Rachel laughed as she watched him smile at himself. “So peach fuzz, you feel better knowing there’s at least one girl in this world that thinks you’re still ‘sexy’?” she said mocking the young hairstylist.

“Aw come on, she was sweet,” he said defending the stranger.

“She was definitely pretty, but any girl who throws herself so dramatically at anyone is hardly sweet.”

Nick eyed Rachel playfully. “Are you jealous?” he teased, hoping to get a rise out of Rachel, but was sorely disappointed when she burst into laughter.

“Hardly,” she said when she got control of her giggles. “Honey we’re not dating. You can do whatever with whomever you want. I don’t really care.”

Nick frowned. He liked that they were just friends and all, but still, she could have at least pretended. The look of disappointment on his face made Rachel laugh again but then she stopped and said a little more seriously, “Even if you called that girl up tonight and made her wildest fantasy come true, I could never be jealous of a girl like that because I’ve got the better part of Nick Carter. The part someone like her will never even know exists.”

Rachel smiled playfully and held up the lock of Nick’s hair. “And besides, she doesn’t have this!”

Rachel held the hair to her nose and took a deep breath inhaling the scent as if she was some obsessed psycho, but Nick didn’t laugh at the joke. He barely even heard it. He was still pondering the part where she said she got the better part of him. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to him and Rachel didn’t even realize what she’d said. Nick stared at her in awe, thinking to himself that this woman was going to change his life. She was the life raft he’d been waiting for, for so long, finally here to pull him from the raging sea and row him safely to shore.

Suddenly Nick felt liberated. He felt excited and hopeful that the rain was going to stop falling on his life, and the feeling was exhilarating. Nick pulled Rachel into his arms so fast that she practically suffered whiplash, and he squeezed her so tightly that his arms trembled. “Thank you,” he whispered in a shaky voice, “Thank you so much.”

“Whoa there tiger,” she teased yet returned the heartfelt hug. “it’s only hair.”

Nick slowly pulled himself back to his side of the car and fought the urge to cry. “It’s so much more than that,” he said blinking a single tear free from his eye.

Rachel smiled that same sincere smile that Nick knew he was going to cherish for the rest of his life and she wiped the tear from his face. “Brace yourself peach fuzz, the day is just beginning.”