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Nick gets drunk to try and forget about Adie but it ends up backfiring

Adie found herself once again sitting on the toilet seat, eyeing the small box in her hand critically like she had for the past three days. In that box was a stick that could have the power to change her life for ever, and right now she was so confused about how she felt she didn’t know whether it would be a change for the better or for the worse.

She had always had a vision in her mind about when she would bring a child in to the world, about how she would bring a child into the world. That vision held a Mother and a Father, two people in a loving stable relationship who could provide everything for a new life, a happy family that would eventually grow, would be close like her own family was. Sure it was idealistic, maybe even naive on her part in the current day and age with one out of three children being bought up by divorced parents but it had always been the dream and after all if her parents could do it why couldn’t she? She had never, not in a million years contemplated bringing a child into the world on her own, being a single mother with a newborn baby, raising a child and being there for it for the rest of her life alone. That was what she could possibly have to do though, if the test was positive that was her reality, a single mother at twenty seven. All she had to do now was find the courage to pee on the stick.

In the three days that had passed she had prayed to be proven wrong, had wished and hoped for the familiar cramping in her lower back, but yet here she was and today she was going to make herself find out for sure, even though the evidence in favour was pretty damning. She felt sick to her stomach, a little was probably from the morning sickness, but the majority was from the anticipation of peeing on the stick. This time last year she knew she would have been over the moon if she had found herself in this predicament but now all she felt was fear and anxiety. She already knew that if she was pregnant she would have the baby, abortion wasn’t something she believed in just because it wasn’t the right time in a person’s life, other circumstances were more acceptable, but because it didn’t fit in with your plan wasn’t. She also knew there was no way she was going to be able to keep it a secret and that eventually she would have to tell Nick and that was the part that was filling her with the most dread, she had no idea how he was going to react to this news.

He had made it perfectly clear that having children wasn’t on his agenda. Would this change his mind? Would knowing that she was carrying his child, that this was real and not some hypothetical situation help him to overcome his fear of being a Father? She knew he could do it, she knew that Nick had the potential to be an amazing Dad, just watching him interact with Baylee, seeing him visit the sick kids, he just had a way with them and she had told him that on more then one occasion. He always had an excuse not to though, touring was coming up, he’d be away all the time, the same excuses as to why they shouldn’t get married but it was all lies and she couldn’t get her head around why he couldn’t just tell her the truth, why he couldn’t just open up and let her help him to work through his issues. He would probably accuse her of planning this anyway, of forgetting to take her birth control, of trying to trap him into marriage, like he had done in London. She chuckled to herself with that thought before some tears slid down her cheeks, I was already pregnant then though. Then on the other hand how could he really accuse her of that? After all she had been the one to break things off with him, she was the one who had left, if she had been trying to trap him then wouldn’t she have stayed?

She shook her head and wiped at her tears as she unwrapped the cellophane around the box, her hands shaking uncontrollably. It took a matter of seconds for her to pee but the three minutes that she had to wait felt like hours as she glanced at her watch every couple of seconds and yet when the time came she found that she couldn’t find the courage to pick up the stick that she had rested on the sink.

“Stop being such a chicken,” she said to herself as she reached out for the small white stick, but again her hand recoiled as through it were a hot poker. She took a deep breath in and released it slowly as she closed her eyes and blindly grabbed for the stick, opening her eyes after a few seconds she eyed the result and looked back at her reflection in the mirror.

***

He woke up around lunchtime like he had been doing for the past two days since Rachel and Alex had left, he just felt like he had nothing to get up early for, the late nights of laying awake thinking about her and what went wrong reeking havoc with his body clock. She was the last thing he thought about before he went to sleep and the first thing on his mind when he woke up, he had never ever felt like that with previous relationships, never had someone got under his skin that much and he knew it was because he had lost something special with her. He felt something move beside him and for a minute prayed that the past week and half had been some horrible dream but when rolled over in bed all he found was Layla where Adie should have been laying. He snuggled deep into the pillow, that still held the faint scent of her, with a sigh and lightly stroked the top of the dogs head when she moved to nuzzle his chest. looking to the bedroom door in confusion when he heard the banging that was coming from downstairs, the banging, he realised, the cause of him waking up.

He pulled himself out of his warm comfy bed, threw on a pair of sweats, and padded down the stairs calling out, “I’M COMING!” when the banging on his front door persisted. He knew that it wouldn’t be Alex or Rachel, they moved into their new house yesterday and of course Nick had once again been left on his own, not that he really minded as it left him to mope around as he pleased, meant he didn’t have to act okay, that he could even cry if he wanted to. He hadn’t yet, he hadn’t allowed himself to. That was so pathetic, like he was even hiding his emotions from himself and yet he couldn’t stop, he couldn’t take Alex’s advice and change things, he couldn’t open up, it was to buried, to locked away, to difficult. This whole experience just something to add to that locked box full of pain.

He finally made it to the door, pissed off that the person on the other side was still incessantly banging on the door, banging so hard Nick was sure any minute the hand was going to come crashing through the solid oak wood. He yanked hard causing the knocking to stop immediately and inwardly grimaced realising his mistake.

“NICKAY!!!!” Brent yelled as he wrapped his friend in a bear hug.

“Hi,” Nick replied patting his good friend on the back as he smiled over his shoulder to the other four guys who were stood behind. He seriously didn’t need this now but this trip had been planned months ago, the guys were going to come out, work in the studio on a few tracks and he was going to have a boys week while Adie worked nights, she had even offered to stay at Chelle’s so they didn’t have to worry about keeping the noise down. He should have cancelled, he was not in the right frame of mind for this right now, all he wanted to do was sit around in his sweats and mope, wait for Adie to realise what a mistake she had made.

“You didn’t forget did you?” Brent asked as he traipsed into the house letting the others follow him into the living room where he kicked back on one of the sofa’s, throwing his feet up onto the coffee table, almost kicking over the glass that had been left there from last night.

“No,” Nick lied shaking his head, moving the glass before Brent could break it. “No I’ve just had a lot going on the past few days and slept in.”

“Cool,” Brent said nodding his head. “So this looks like a nice place, where’s Adie?” He asked looking around.

“She uh…We’re not together anymore,” he said quietly falling into the couch beside his friend with a sigh.

“Oh man…then again there is the bright side, means we can go and get totally smashed and find you a new women,” he said with a grin making Nick inwardly groan. Then he thought to himself, “Fuck it, she was the one who left me. I deserve some fun.”

***

He managed to prop himself up at the bar and if he really squinted and tried to focus on the watch on his wrist he might just be able to make out the time. One am. One am meant he had probably been drinking for eight hours now and that was probably the reason why he could barely stand but it didn’t stop him accepting the shot that Brent thrust into his hand followed by the beer a few seconds after the burning of the shot trailing down his throat subsided. He smiled a thanks to Brent, who was probably looking as wasted as he was before he started nodding his head to the tune currently playing, mentally berating himself when all he could think was how much Adie liked the song.

God why couldn’t he get her out of his head for at least five minutes? He thought that coming out to night would make him see what he had been missing while they had been together, would make him realise that he was better off without the stressors of being in a relationship, but so far all it had done was make him realise what he had lost. It had made him realise how much he had changed and grown up since he had been with her, this party scene wasn’t him anymore and he knew he couldn’t go back out there and look for someone else, he couldn’t start a new relationship knowing it would be doomed to fail, knowing it would be nowhere near as good as what he had once had, he had realised what he had lost and it felt so god damned depressing he drank more to try and escape it. So now he was on beer number god knows how many, shot number…it had to at least be double figures and he was still no happier and no number.

“Dude seriously you need to lighten up or at least smile if you are going to get any pussy tonight,” Brent yelled over the music slapping him on the back.

“I don’t want anyone else right now,” He mumbled leaning his head against the bar as he slumped forward almost vomiting when Brent slapped him on the back.

“Dude lighten up, so she left you? Big deal I never got what you saw in her anyway,” he said as she threw back another large swig of his beer as Nick turned his head to the side to look at him.

“What’s that suppose to mean?” He slurred angrily.

“Just that she kind of didn’t know how to have any fun, would she have seriously let you drink for as long as you have today? C’mon even you have to admit she was kind of a controlling bitch,” he laughed slapping Nick on the back.

Nick tensed with Brent’s words as he sat up slowly and said, through gritted teeth, “Take it back.”

“Why? It’s the truth? I’m sure she’s bitched about me enough she was quite obvious in showing she couldn’t stand me.”

“Just take it back,” Nick said more sternly this time.

“No,” Brent said shaking his head. “I never liked her but I put up with her because she was your girlfriend. You are so much better off without her, she had you totally pussy whipped. I mean look at how much you changed for her, but she still left you didn’t she? She’s a bitch Nick.”

He didn’t know what came over him, whether it was Brent totally disrespecting Adie, his anger at both Her and Brent, or the alcohol, hell it was probably a mixture of all three but he found himself reacting the way he always did when he got as angry as he was, by lashing out and thinking about it later. This time though he found himself wishing he had thought more about his actions when he found himself stumbling forward when his foot got caught in the bar stool because he stood up to suddenly, he didn’t get to think about it too much though because there was only blackness when his head hit the bar hard.

***

“Are you sure your okay?” Chelle asked when she found Adie staring at her reflection in the mirror when she walked out of the stall.

“Fine,” Adie replied unconvincingly as she looked at her friend.

“You know if you’re having second thoughts you could tell him that you’re sorry and that you made a mistake,” She said as she placed a hand on her friends arm reassuringly with a small smile.

Adie shook her head, “No I’m not having second thoughts. I’m just tired is all.”

“Okay, if your sure that’s all it is. You know you can talk to me about anything right?” She asked, concerned with her best friends behaviour over the past few days.

Adie smiled brightly but Chelle noticed it didn’t quite reach her eyes, “Yeah I know. I’ll be out in a bit.”

“Okay. Oh I started the fluids for that kid in four,” she reminded.

“Shit I totally forgot was his BM okay?” She asked panicked.

“A little low but nothing to worry about. You know if you’re still not feeling well maybe you should go home,” Chelle said as she held her hand on the handle of the door.

“No I’m fine, it just taking a while to get back into the swing of things is all. Thanks.”

Chelle smiled as she pulled the door open and walked through it leaving Adie alone with her thoughts. That was the third mistake she had made and she was only three hours into her shift, she just couldn’t concentrate at all, her mind was a thousand miles away and had been ever since yesterday, ever since she had looked down at the positive sign on that fucking pregnancy test, ever since she had taken another four to make sure. Each of them had been positive, each plus sign, blue lines, or the new expensive digital test wish flashed pregnant at her confirming what she had already known if she was honest with herself. She had been so thankful that Chelle had been out because she had spent most of the day sobbing, lying in bed contemplating what she was going to do, how she was going to tell people, how Nick was going to react to the news.

She felt the hot tears begin to build up yet again and sighed deeply willing herself not to cry. She had worked out that she had to be at least three ,months along if not more by now, this baby had to have been conceived around the time of her birthday, after all it made sense she was on antibiotics for her ear infection, they hadn’t used any other form of contraception and that week had been full of sex. Was it ironic that it was around that time was when she had first been considering leaving him, when the first thoughts of breaking his heart had entered her head? He had promised to always love her, to always want to be with her and she had been thinking about letting him go.

Life could be such a bitch.

Three months pregnant, god she would start to show soon if she already wasn’t, she looked at the door before she pulled up her scrub top and looked at her still flat stomach in the mirror before she placed her hand on it. Immediately she noticed how different it felt, it was a lot firmer then normal and she remembered her sister mentioning it wasn’t long after her stomach started to harden that she started to grow. She needed to tell someone about this, she needed to get it out otherwise it was going to eat her alive but in the two attempts she had made to tell Chelle she had bottled out at the last moment, to scared about what she might say, to afraid that Chelle would tell her it was a sign to get back together with Nick. What if it is though? She considered then again what if it wasn’t? Could she really bring a child up in a hostile environment? She would totally prove him right if she did that because she knew that was one of his main reasons for not wanting to get married, even though he never spoke about his parents and their divorce she knew that was the main catalyst of why Nick had become who he was.

She glanced back into the mirror one last time before she decided that, for at least tonight she would try and forget about him, about them and about the baby. It was something she just needed to do to be able to get through tonight without making a drastic mistake that could cost someone else their life. She didn’t realise that it wasn’t going to be that easy though, and that within an hour  she would be coming face to face with the man she had left two weeks ago, a man she had shut the door on.

***

“So Tammy can you tell me what you have to remember the next time you get angry?” Adie asked as she finished with the last suture in the ten years olds hand.

The girl sighed as she said, “Punch and pillow and not a mirror.”

“Good,” Adie smiled as she placed some gauze over the freshly closed wound. “You know the scales usually say bad things to me makes me want to chuck them out the window, I sometimes feel that way with the mirror too,” Adie joked making her patient laugh.

“I was mad at my brother really,” she admitted.

“Ahhh sibling rivalry, is he older?” Adie asked and Tammy nodded, “Yeah I have an older sister and we used to get into some fights, I think once I actually started throwing all of her clothes out the window, she wasn’t very happy with me then.”

“He’s just a jerk.”

Adie laughed, “Does he like video games?”

“Yeah.”

“Well the next time he’s mean, instead of taking it out on a mirror and hurting yourself, put all if his video games in different boxes, or you could hide the scrt lead, he’ll be more interested in finding it then being mean.”

“Thanks I’ll remember that,” She said as she pulled her hand off the trolley it had been resting on.

“No problem, you just have to keep that dry and come back in the next five days to have them taken out okay?” She said as she discarded her gloves and showed the girl to the door, “Your Mom said she would be waiting where you were before.”

“Thanks.”

Adie smiled warmly as she watched the ten year old walk towards the waiting area before she turned back into the small room and began to tidy up, realising that she would need to stock up as the trolley that held the equipment for suturing was near on empty. She quickly washed her hands and walked towards the bigger suture room which was mainly used for adult patients but stopped when Chelle called her name.

“What?” She asked.

“You uh…you might not want to go in there.”

“Why?” Adie asked slightly perplexed.

“Uh…Just trust me you don’t want to go in there,” Chelle tried again.

“Why is it something totally gross? Because you know I live for that stuff,” She asked her head turning quickly when she heard something crash to the floor and instinctively she made her way to where it noise had come from, opening the door quickly her breath catching when she caught site of why Chelle had warned her to not go in.

“See! I told you she was working!” He exclaimed to a quite clearly agitated Mike who stood and ripped of his gloves sending them flying into a nearby trash can before he made his way towards Adie taking hold of her arm as he walked her out of the room leaving Nick alone to shout his protests of her departure.

“What is he doing here?” She asked.

“He’s got a head lac and he is going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning,” He told her as he led her to the desk.

“He’s been drinking?” She asked.

“Yeah his friend dropped him off, slurred that he hit his head against the bar when he tried to punch him, knocked himself out.”

“Jesus,” She sighed. “Is he okay?”

“He’s fine, just needs some sutures and to sleep it off,” he reassured.

“Who bought him in? Are they in chairs?” She asked.

“No they left, literally dropped him off at triage and went back to the bar or so I assume. He’s uh…he’s being kind of difficult, refusing to let me treat him, he wants-”

“He wants me to do it doesn’t he?” She finished.

“Yeah. You don’t have to, by rights you shouldn’t because he’s…” he hesitated for a moment, “ Because you know him. I can handle him.”

“It’s fine Mike I can do it, it’s just sutures,” she said as she made her way back towards the room.

“Just holler if you need anything.”

“Actually could you call my sister and ask if one of them can come down here and pick him up?” She said handing him her cell phone.

“Sure thing, Your sister’s name is Rachel right?” He asked and she nodded.

She stood outside the door for a few seconds before she took a deep breath in and pushed it open, immediately very aware of the fact that she was pregnant, she felt as though she was nine months gone with a huge bump and that it would be immediately obvious to him but her fears where soon quashed when he looked at her, his eyes focused on hers. She quickly averted her gaze from his and she busied herself with getting the equipment together that she would need, internally feeling sicker and sicker with every passing second.

“Aren’t you even going to say hello?” He rasped.

“Hi,” she mumbled still not looking to him, concentrating on putting some gloves on.

“That’s it? Hi? No sorry I left you? No sorry I shut the door in your face? Maybe Brent was right,” he mumbled and as soon as she heard that name she knew instantly it was him who had left Nick here by himself.

“I should have guessed,” She said quietly but he still heard her.

“Guessed what?”

“That he was in town,” She said as she looked at the angry, bleeding wound on his forehead, making him wince when she touched it.

“He doesn’t like you, you know. Said that you made it perfectly clear when you met him that you didn’t like him either,” He told her.

“I don’t like him,” She admitted.

“He’s my friend,” He defended.

“Yeah some friend, left you in an emergency room by yourself after you managed to knock yourself out. Friends don’t do that Nick, friends don’t use you for your connections or for your studio, or for your money,” she sternly told him. “You should get max fax to look at this, it’s a big lac, they’d be able to close it better so you’d have less scarring.”

“I want you to do it,” he told her totally disregarding what she had just said about his friend.

“Fine,” she huffed, “But I can’t guarantee you won’t have a nasty looking scar.”

“You’ll do a good job, I trust you,” He told her closing his eyes when she softly began to clean the blood. “I still trust you, you know, even after all this I still love you, “ He said softly.

“This might sting a bit but you need to hold still,” she warned him, trying to ignore what he had just said as she began to inject the local anaesthetic into his wound making him hiss in the pain it caused. “Sorry,” she apologised.

The room was quiet for a few minutes the only sound coming from outside in the busy ER and she was so glad that his eyes remained closed because she didn’t think she could bare to see the look of pain in them, the pain she had caused. She looked at his face and wanted nothing more then to lean down and place a kiss on his plump lips, to wrap her arms around him and hold him because it was those arms right there that made her feel safe and protected and warm. Too much had changed now though, it would mean going back to how they were before but this time there would be a baby in the way to complicate things and she knew he would end up resenting the situation they were in because it hadn’t been planned, because it was something that he hadn't wanted and she knew that no matter how much she needed to tell someone she couldn’t tell him now.

“I miss you. Do you miss me?” He asked opening his eyes to her, his blue eyes pleading with her to say she did.

“You need to keep your eyes closed so the tension stays right,” She lied avoiding his question.

“Do you miss me Adie?” He asked again.

“Nick…”

“It’s a simple question.”

She hesitated for a moment before answering very quietly, “Yes.”

“Then come back,” he pleaded.

“I can’t,” she told him.

“Why?” He asked sadly.

“Because nothing will change, we’ll just end up how we were before and I can’t live my life like that,” She admitted.

“But I want to change, I want to open up to you. We were supposed to be going to therapy together can’t we do that? Can’t you at least give us a shot?” He asked.

“I’m all done here,” She said dodging his question as she placed a piece of gauze across the wound and taped it in place. “You need to keep it clean and dry and come back in five days to have them out. Alex or Rachel will be here soon to pick you up.”

“Pick me up?” he questioned as he opened his eyes and sat up slowly.

“Yeah you can’t go home by yourself when you’ve hit you head,” she said as she cleaned the mess up.

“Brent is staying at ours I don’t need Alex to baby-sit me,” he said swinging his legs around and almost falling off the gurney when he lost his balance. She quickly reached out to steady him as she rolled her eyes at his last comment.

“You are not going home with Brent, I wouldn’t trust him with a gold fish. Alex will be here shortly, do not move from this room until he arrives,” she told him sternly as she made a move towards the door but he reached for her, grabbing her arm before she could make an escape.

“Stay with me?” he asked and she knew he just didn’t mean now.

She sighed as she looked away from him, pulling her arm out of his grasp as she walked towards the door, whispering, “I can’t,” before she walked through it.

 

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