She blew the persistent loose hairs that kept falling in front of her eyes away and looked at the clock again sighing when not even five minutes had passed. It was slow today only a handful of patients in the whole department, no one even wanting to see the triage nurse. She knew that she should have felt grateful, that after yesterday this should have been a welcomed respite from the craziness but it was going to make her shift drag like hell, it also left her more then enough time to dwell on the argument that had occurred.
She sighed when her thoughts drifted back to it and suddenly felt very tired. She hadn’t slept well at all, she never did after they argued, she would replay it over and over, analysing it until she got even more angry. She knew she had lost her temper with him quickly, she had a very short fuse, a fuse which lately seemed to be getting shorter where he was concerned. Then again he had over reacted, it was just a bruise and they had been through it all before, she was adamant that she was not going to back down and leave the department, after all she knew damn well that he wouldn’t leave his job over something like that if she asked him.
She had half expected him to follow her when she left their bedroom the night before. To carry on the argument like he would usually do, to try and justify his reasoning he hadn’t though and it had shocked her slightly. Even though the argument probably would have continued for a bit longer, after a while one of them would have conceded just to please the other, she hated going to bed when they were still fighting. She hated dragging an argument into another day but storming out only to go back was not what she had wanted to do, it would have made him think that he was right, that he had won. Oh God it wasn’t even about winning she mentally berated herself.
Okay now she needed something to occupy her mind with, she needed to stop thinking about this because it was just making her angry again. She got up quickly and walked towards one of the three unoccupied trauma rooms, when it was quiet like this it was the perfect opportunity to check the equipment, to clean and to restock, there was nothing worse then realising something wasn’t where it was supposed to be in an emergency.
She was cleaning the third trauma room when Chelle caught up with her. She had fully restocked the room and was now washing down the gurney with hot soapy water, viciously scrubbing at some dried blood that she just could not seem to shift.
“Okay your either extremely bored or your trying to keep your mind off something,” she said as she wheeled in the echo machine and hooked it up. “Since there is a huge bouquet of flowers with your name on them at the desk I’m guessing it’s the later.”
“There’s flowers?” She asked stopping what she was doing as she looked at her friend.
“Yep they’re huge, Harry is pissed because they are blocking most of the desk. There’s chocolate kisses too, well there were chocolate kisses I wouldn’t expect them to be there when you get back,” she chuckled. “So what’s going on?
“Nothing much, some stupid argument,” she shrugged as she carried on with her cleaning.
“Want to talk about it?” She asked as she grabbed some dry paper towels so she could wipe the moisture off the gurney.
“Do you ever feel that your just going round in circles?” She asked.
“With work? Hell yeah who doesn’t especially in this pla-”
“I meant in life,” Adie said cutting her off.
“What do you mean?” She asked curiously.
“Nothing it doesn’t matter,” she quickly said regretting that she had mentioned it.
“No tell me. Are things bad between you and Nick? Did something happen?” She asked.
“No there not bad. I just…” she sighed not really knowing how to describe how she felt.
“Stuck in a rut?” She asked as she leant against the cabinets on the opposite side of the room.
“Yeah. I just want…more I guess. I mean I know I have a lot and I have an amazing life with him, he treats me so well almost too well but I still want more that sounds really selfish doesn’t it?” She said as she picked up the remaining paper towels and disposed of them in the trash can.
“Depends on what you mean by more, I mean materialistically then yeah I would say you were being spoiled I mean who needs another Gucci purse and wallet?” She joked making Adie stick her tongue out at her best friend.
“I didn’t ask him to get me that. It’s not the materialistic stuff either it’s…I don’t know…” she trailed off as she began to wash her hands, avoiding eye contact with Chelle.
“Yeah you do,” she replied raising a challenging eyebrow to her friend.
“I always thought that by twenty seven I’d be married, and have at least one child and I think what with Rach getting married I realised that we’re not even close to that, not even a little bit. I was kind of hoping that maybe with the romantic atmosphere and all that I might have come home with a ring on my finger,” she sighed, holding up her left hand to emphasize her bare ring finger.
“Does he know you feel like this?”
“I’m assuming no,” she replied before reaching for a paper towel so she could dry her hands.
“He’s not a mind reader Hon. Have you guys ever even talked about marriage?” She questioned.
November 2006.
“Don’t pack do it in the morning,” he whined as he pulled out all the clothes she had just out in her brown leather holdall and threw them across the room.
“Nickolas!” she yelled jokingly smiling brightly when he began to pout. She walked across the room and began to pick up the now wrinkled items of clothing he had discarded, but two minutes later she found herself doing them same thing when he managed to toss them again. “I don’t think you understand the concept of packing.”
“Stay a bit longer?” He asked grabbing her wrists before he pulled her down into his lap.
“As much as I want to I have this obligation called work, its kind of a big deal, you know they actually give me money and then that means I can afford to survive,” she laughed as she ran her hands through his hair.
“I’ll pay you to keep doing that,” he sighed in satisfaction as she massaged his scalp, closing his eyes as she intensified the pressure and as he titled his head back a bit. She smiled devilishly, she just could resist his neck was bare and within her grasp and she quickly bought on of her hands down and tickled at it. He snapped his head back down quickly and squirmed trying to get away from the sensation. “You're evil,” he moaned at her as he managed to bat her hand away.
“It was your mistake to tell me you were ticklish there,” she pointed out. “Now are you going to be a good boy and let me pack?” She asked him and he shook his head no. “Well you do realise what with you throwing everything out it is going to take me twice as long which then means it’s gona be time for us to go to bed to sleep.”
He seemed to get the hint and ended up picking up what was left of her stuff and dumped it in the holdall in one big messy pile. She shrieked as he almost threw himself at her, kissing her neck making her laugh at his sudden antics. She sighed into the kiss but out of the corner of her eye she could still see the damn holdall and all the contents messily spilling out of it.
“Don’t look at it,” he whispered as his hands began to trail down her side, softly stroking her skin through the fabric of her t-shirt.
“Just let me pack it, it will take two minutes,” she said pushing at him and he relented.
“You're worse then Kevin do you know that?” He said exasperated as he watched her quickly fold her clothes and place them back in neatly.
“Just because you like the creased look when you go out doesn’t mean I do. Ohh whose calling me?” She asked excitedly when she heard the familiar tones of her phone. He groaned out loud and fell back against the bed when she answered, if there was one thing she could do well it was talking on the phone.
She stuck her tongue out at him before she flipped the phone up to answer. She didn’t even get the chance to say hello before someone yelled “I’M GETTING MARRIED!” at her.
“Rach? Is that you?” She asked recognising the shrill excitement of her sisters voice.
“Yessss and I’m getting married!” She reiterated.
“Really? He asked you? Congratulations!” she said excitedly as she pulled her feet up under her so she was sat crossed legged on the edge of the bed. Nick moved slightly and rested on his elbows wondering what the conversation was about but his questioning eyes weren’t answered.
“So where did he ask? What did he say?” She asked smiling to Nick when his hand trailed up her thigh as she listened to her sister. It had been ten minutes ago, they were on the last day of their vacation in Europe and he had taken her to lunch at the top of the Eifel tower and as they were looking out over the Parisian scenery he just leant in a whispered it to her.
“Aww sweetie I’m so happy for you. Have you called Mom and Dad yet?”
“No not yet I called you first so I better go and call them. Are you going to be in Florida when I get back?” She asked.
“No I’m leaving today I’ve been here for a week it’s all the time I could get off work. You're coming back for Dads birthday though aren’t you?”
“Yeah. We’ll catch up then and we can start planning,” she shrieked happily.
“Definitely. Say congrats to Alex for me and I’ll see you soon,” she replied as she interlocked her hand with Nicks.
“Sure thing. Tuvs ya,” she said before she clicked off.
“I’m guessing Rach?” Nick asked as she shut her phone and threw it into the top of her holdall.
“Yep. Did you know Alex was going to propose?” She asked him, moving so that she was straddling him.
“Maybe,” he smirked.
“You could have told me,” she shrieked hitting his arm playfully.
“Adrianna Jones you are the worlds worst at keeping a secret, especially when it involves your sister,” he told her making her scrunch her nose up at the use of her full name.
“I am not,” she replied indignantly.
“You are too. So where did he do it?” He asked.
“At the top of the Eifel Tower,” she told him before she leant down to kiss him.
“mmm,” he whispered as he pulled away, “Don’t you think that’s a little cheesy?”
“Nah it’s romantic, now you asking me in the middle of an ER waiting room would be cheesy,” she joked but she quickly stopped laughing when she saw the look that crossed his face and how his whole demeanour changed. “Oh god you weren’t thinking about doing that were you? Because if you were forget I said anything, it’s not cheesy, it’s sentimental,” she tried to back track.
“No it’s just…I uh…” he moved quickly and she had to get off his lap and sit beside him as he rested back against the headboard, she could tell by the concentration on his face that he was trying to choose his next words carefully.
“How do you feel about marriage?” he asked looking at her warily.
“What do you mean?”
“If I were to say that I never wanted to get married how would you feel?” He asked taking her hand in his.
“Is that the truth? You don’t ever want to get married?”
“I asked my question first,” he pointed out.
“I’d say that yeah eventually I see myself married, I mean its every girls dream right? Find the right guy, fall madly in love, get married, have kids and live in the house with the white picket fence,” she rambled.
“Don’t you think that’s a little idealistic?” He pointed out.
“Some parts maybe, I could live without the picket fence,” she tried to joke, it amazed her how quickly an atmosphere could change, how when you felt you knew a person you realised from one conversation that you had no clue at all.
“Most marriages end in divorce now,” he said bluntly.
“What’s your point Nick?” She asked when she realised he was avoiding telling her what he really wanted to say, she already knew what it was going to be but she just had to hear it.
“I don’t think I believe in marriage,” he said softly, avoiding eye contact with her.
“You think or you know?” She asked after a few moments, placing a finger under his chin so she could lift his head to look into his eyes.
“I love you Adie I really do, but I don’t know if I could marry you. I don’t think I could ever marry anyone. Does that change things between us?” He asked whispering the last part as though he was scared of her answer.
“I’m not going to stop loving you if that’s what you mean. I mean I understand where you're coming from, why you feel the way you do but…I don’t know how you can write the idea off completely?”
“Maybe my mind will change but right now I cant honestly say that its our immediate future, that I’m even really thinking about it. God I’m such a shit,” he sighed getting up off the bed.
“Don’t say that, you're not. Look you have your reasons for feeling like this, reasons that I partially understand but you still haven’t opened up to me about that part of your life yet,” she silenced him by raising a finger when he tried to explain his reasons for keeping that to himself. “I’m not asking for you to tell me now, I know you’ll tell me when your ready.
“I love you, you know that don’t you? I don’t want you to think I feel your not worth it, that I don’t love you as much as I should because of this. I just…I have a lot to work through and I don’t want to rush into something and ruin what we have, I love you too much to do that, too much to hurt you,” he said softly as he wrapped his arms about her waist when she stood up to join him.
“I love you too, so, so much. It’s just a bit of paper and a ring anyway, we could skip that and just spend a dirty week away where all we do is have sex,” she said light heartedly, making him laugh as he pulled her into his chest to hug her. Thankfully the hug was prolonged because it gave her time to compose herself, to hide the tears that had been in her eyes. To him she had been able to put on a proviso, had been able to pretend that nothing would change, when really all it was, was the beginning of the end.
***
Her talk with Chelle had been interrupted when a multiple victim MVA came rolling through the door and her peaceful shift had become more and more chaotic as they day proceeded. She didn’t even get a chance to look at the note on the beautiful bouquet of tropical flowers he had sent until an hour before she was due to leave.
I was an ass. I’m Sorry!!
She smiled and chuckled at his bluntness as she put the card into the pocket of her royal blue scrubs and began to hunt around for the chocolate kisses Chelle had mentioned earlier but her prediction had been right, they were long gone.
“Hey can you double check this with me?” Chelle asked as she handed her a prescription and a bag of fluid. She gladly accepted and glanced over the prescription, signing when she was happy with the bag that was presented. “Thanks. You want to get a drink after work? Maybe carry on our conversation?” She asked as she took the stuff back.
“I should get home, I don’t want him to think I’m still mad at him.”
“What were you mad with him about anyway?” She asked.
“Being over protective.”
“He saw the bruise?” She asked knowingly.
“Oh yeah. Maybe we could go out next weekend though? He’s leaving for Florida for rehearsals,” she said as she started to rub some discharged patients off the board.
“No worries.”
The last hour flew by so quickly that she ended up leaving almost half an hour late as she didn’t leave enough time to write all of her notes and handover and once again by the time she reached the home that they shared she was completely wiped. She couldn’t bare the thought of working nine till five, five days a week but sometimes the twelve hour shifts she did were killers, especially when she had other things on her mind.
She unlocked the front door and was immediately greeted by Layla, that meant he had to be close by because that dog was like his shadow and when she rose from the floor after petting the over zealous pooch she found him stood in the doorway of the kitchen.
“You got the flowers,” he stated when he saw them in her arms.
“They’re beautiful thank you,” she said as she placed them on the table in the hallway so she could slip her shoes and coat off, “Everyone else said to say thanks for the kisses,” she smiled as she made her way towards him.
“You didn’t get any?” He questioned.
“I wanted to wait for the real thing,” she shrugged as she wrapped her arms around his middle and leant in to softly kiss his lips, sighing when they parted too soon. “I was an ass too,” she admitted and he smiled warmly to her before pulling her in closer to his body so he could hold her.
“I just worry about you. I mean you’re a five foot nothing white girl from Nashville,” he chuckled wincing when she punched his arm.
“Just cuz I’m five foot and a QUARTER doesn’t mean I don’t know how to take care of myself Carter, I mean I do this…” she said reaching up to grab at his neck, “ …and can drop you within ten seconds,” she retaliated laughing when he started squirming but she refused to let go.
“Alright okay, I get your point just let go of my neck,” he pleaded but she refused and he ended up fighting back tickling her sides until she was giggling and squirming so much that she had to let go of him. He laughed at her flushed face before leaning down to kiss her again. It heated up really quickly and before he knew it her hands had found there way into his shorts and were gently massaging his growing erection. He sighed into her mouth as he backed her up against the wall, bringing his hands up to her face to cup it so he could intensify the kiss.
He felt the good feeling in his pants disappear as she pulled her hands away and he was just about to complain before he felt the cold air hit his erection when she pulled his shorts down. He felt her hands move once again and could tell that she was unbuttoning her own jeans she pulled away from the kiss long enough to push them down and step out of them.
“I want you,” she moaned as he began to circle her clit, she was so wet and ready for him and it made him even harder. She didn’t have to ask twice and he crashed his mouth back down to hers in a searing kiss as he lifted her into his arms, she took the hint and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, her legs following suit wrapping tightly around his waist. They both moaned in pleasure when he entered her fast and hard.
“Your so hot,” he moaned into her shoulder as he started pumping in and out as best he could in the position they were in. A film of sweat started to form along his brow and top lip as he tried in vain to find the perfect rhythm for them, he could tell by the way she was digging her nails into his back that she loved how deep he was going but the pace just wasn’t fast enough and he knew she was getting frustrated too.
“Stairs,” she panted out as if reading his mind and he quickly stopped thrusting and carried her the few feet away. She adjusted to the different position and pulled him back down to her, capturing his mouth in a fiery kiss before she started writing underneath him, trying to get him to start pounding into her again. He resisted and pulled at her tank top instead, he pulled it up and over her head, removing her bra in one swift movement before lavishing some attention of her breasts.
“You taste so good,” he moaned as she whimpered when he licked his tongue across one of her already aroused nipples.
“Please,” she begged.
“Please what?” He asked cockily.
“Fuck me,” she panted crying out loudly when he slammed back inside her. “That’s it…there just keep…fuck,” she called out in ragged breathes as he increased his fast pace, trailing his hand down to play with her clit.
“Come for me,” he told her as he pressed hard on her clit.
“Not yet…feels to good…don’t stop…don’t stop…don’t…” he felt her walls start to pulsate around him, heard her breath start to catch in her throat and with a long throaty moan she came hard, gripping his cock tightly inside her. That was all it took for him to be pushed over the edge and he called out her name loudly as he felt the pressure that had been building finally release.
He sighed into the crevice of her neck after a few moments and gently eased out of her, she sighed contently and pulled him back down for a kiss.
“We should fight more often,” he joked after the kiss ended.
“Hmm well I bet you didn’t make then bed this morning so I can be pissed off about that.”
“Well actually I did make it but I can quickly run up there now and rectify that.”
“You know what? Maybe we should just skip the fighting and get straight on the sex,” she suggested.
“Hmm I second that,” he whispered as he began to nuzzle her neck.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Adie thinks about their argument which leads to other hard and hurtful memories
Chapter End Notes:
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