The room had fallen into an uncomfortable silence since Angel had spoken her icy words not seconds before, the laughter had been completely sucked from the room and when Angel’s cold penetrating stare became too much for Adie she looked down to her pancakes. She knew that it was going to happen at one point or another, she knew that the whole topic of the way she had been towards Nick for the latter part of the year would have to be discussed and she knew that someone was going to be pissed off at her about it, yet she had expected Jane to be the volatile one.

Adie knew it was wrong to think like that, it was the one thing she had been hoping no one would do to her, pre conceived concepts about people you hadn’t even met were so wrong most of the time. After all she had been pleasantly surprised at how welcoming Jane and the rest of Nick’s family for that matter, had been towards her yet it had still been difficult to forget all the things she had heard about Jane and her attitudes and ideas about Nick’s previous girlfriends. The hostile attitude she had expected from Jane, that’s why it was like a punch in the gut when Angel had been he one to hiss at her brother about her attendance.

“Well? I’m waiting for an answer?” Angel spat but instead of hearing Nick’s voice, Adie was surprised by who spoke out.

“She’s here because she’s family Angel,” Aaron said and Adie threw his an appreciative smile when she glanced over to him. That was a smile that soon faded with Angel’s next comment.

“Family?! You’re kidding right?” She sarcastically laughed.

“Angel-” Jane tried to interject.

“Stay out of this Mom. You have no idea how she’s treated Nick, you’ve known her all of five minutes.”

“What the hell is your problem Angel?” Aaron almost yelled as she stood from his seat.

Adie took this time to glance at Nick, he looked just as shell shocked and embarrassed as she did, yet it was amazing that how with one look they could share a whole conversation. He looked apologetic, she felt like she should leave and it wasn’t until the arguing between Aaron and Angel escalated to a point where she thought Aaron might actually throw the plate of pancakes at his sister did Adie break Nick’s gaze.

“You know what Ang, screw you. Thanks for ruining what was supposed to be a great week,” Aaron yelled as he strode from the room.

“I wasn’t the one that bought the lying tramp with me!” She yelled after him and just as Adie was going to stand up and defend herself Nick spoke up.

Adie had only ever seen him that mad less than a handful of times. His eyes narrowed and darkened, his hands clenched into fists and he yelled, “DON’T YOU DARE CALL HER THAT!”

What ensued next was the biggest Carter argument she had seen to date. The more Angel would shout the louder Nick would become, the more one invaded the others space the more the other would intrude and when Leslie stood up to break the two up she looked across the kitchen table to Mike who shared her feelings of unease if the panicked look on his face was anything to go by. Although Leslies intensions were good, she shared Nick’s quick temper and it wasn’t long before it was two against one and Adie actually felt quite sorry for Angel.

Maybe it would have been better for her not to come? Maybe she should have just stayed at home and let Nick have this time alone with his family? The increasing number of argumentative voices were starting to give her a headache and when Jane started to argue with her daughter was when Adie felt so uncomfortable she had to leave. This family had problems enough, she didn’t want to be the cause of Angel estranging herself from the family when things were finally starting to improve between them all. She also wanted to check on Aaron because she had promised him, along with Nick that this was going to be a good trip but as she stood up to leave one person noticed and called her out on it as she was halfway through the door.

“People don’t change Nick. I mean you’re a cheater right? You’ve cheated on Adie. She’s a coward cause she runs away, I mean she’s doing it right now,” Angel snidely remarked.

That was the final straw for Adie, her back stiffened as she turned and told Angel very calmly, “Guess the saying a leopard never changes their spots is true, I mean people warned me about what a bitch you could be and now I finally see what they mean. Oh and I’m not running, I’m going to check on your other brother.”

Adie quickly turned on her heel, her heart beating rapidly in her chest as she tried to control the shaking in her hands and when she left the room she heard the small snigger that escaped Leslie’s mouth as Angel’s tirade continued. Had she really just said that? Was there any reason to stoop to Angel’s level? Maybe that was what she needed, someone to stick up to her because Adie had made a promise to Nick and she sure as hell wasn’t going to let Angel come between them, not after all they had been through. She took a deep breath in and made her way up the stairs knocking lightly on the door to the room that Aaron was staying in, pushing it open when she heard him say it was okay for her to come in. She was surprised at how dressed he was, and when she watched him pull on the oversized woolly hat and pair of gloves she realised what he was doing, she was just about to say something when she heard another voice from within the room and it wasn’t until that moment she realised that Colin hadn’t even made it into the kitchen before Angel had started.

“Dude, just chill for a second,” He said to Aaron who was furiously ramming his wallet into his coat pocket.

“No I’ve got to get out of here.”

“Aaron,” Adie said grabbing his attention, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault Adie.”

“He’s right Adie it’s not your fault,” Colin said, throwing her a small smile.

“You sure it’s okay for you to talk to me?” She half joked with a smile of her own.

“She has to be nice to me, I’m the one with the tickets to get home. It’s good to see you.”

She sarcastically laughed before she said, “I think you’re the only one who is happy to see me.”

“Hey I was happy to see you,” Aaron interjected.

“Yeah that was two days ago. I bet today your thinking why did Nick bring her along?” Aaron considered what she said for a moment before he spoke again.

“If it wasn’t for you Adie we wouldn’t be here. If you hadn’t left, Nick would have never gone down to the Keys, if you hadn’t have lost Molly he would never have realised how stupid it was to stay away from Mom. If it hadn’t of been for you the next time we would have all been together as a family would have probably been at Gramps funeral or something. Everything happens for a reason, Angel’s just testing you right now,” he told her.

“When did you get so smart Aaron?” She asked with a small, emotional smile.

“Someone in this family has to be,” he only half joked, making both her and Colin laugh.

“So where are you going?” She asked.

“For a walk,” he shrugged.

“Can you give me five minutes to get dressed so I can come with you?” She asked.

“No offence but I just want to be by myself for a couple of hours. I just need to walk away and clear my head before I say something to her I don’t mean.”

“That’s fine, you got your cell phone on you?” She asked.

“Yes Mom!” He exclaimed with a small smile.

“Hey it’s icy out there, you could fall and break your hip.”

“I’m twenty one Aide, not one hundred and twenty one!”

“Just be careful is all I’m saying,” She told him.

He smiled as he got up and left the room, leaving Colin and Adie alone , she was just about to say something to him when she heard a knock at the door.

“Come in,” she called, smiling when she saw Doug.

“Just came to check on you and Aaron,” He smiled as he took a seat on the un made bed.

“He’s gone for a walk,” Colin offered.

“You must be Colin, it’s nice to meet you,” Doug said holding out a hand so it could be shook.

“Nice to meet you too. Arguing still going on down there?” he asked.

“I’m taking bets on how long it will last,” Doug joked.

“Well I bet Nick will be the first to break something, Leslie will be the first to cry and Angel will be the first to stalk off,” Adie offered, hoping that Doug would see the funny side, a small sigh of relief escaping her lips when he laughed.

“So you’ve witnessed more then one of their fights huh?”

“I was there for five days when they were doing the show, it really wasn’t pretty,” she said before turning to Colin, “You know if you leave now, she’ll never know you were talking to me, might save another argument.”

Colin threw her a big smile and with a shake of his head made his way towards the door but before he crossed the threshold he turned to her, “I’m not leaving because of that. I can speak to whomever I choose I just really need to pee.”

“Thanks for sharing Colin.”

“Come talk to me later,” He said with a small smile.

“What secrets signal should I send you?” Adie joked.

“What about coo-coo meet me in the kitchen.”

“Yeah I don’t think that would actually be that secret Colin.” He laughed and Adie watched as he walked through the door and out into the hallway.

She had only met Colin a handful of times but she had instantly liked him, she had been the one to get Nick to chill out when he found out about the age difference between his sister and him, hell she had been the one to get him to chill when he found out the age difference between Leslie and Mike. They were two great guys, very relaxed and chilled, letting arguments and catty comments wash over them like water of a ducks back, and Adie wished that she could be more like that. Then again maybe she was becoming more like that because a few months ago she probably would have been packing her bags if she had been in this type of situation.

“Are you okay?” Doug asked as he sat down on the bed.

“I’m glad I’ve started to grow my thicker skin,” Adie told him as she leant against the desk.

“Just take what she says with a pinch of salt Adrianna, Angels always been protective of Nick and Aaron.”

“She is kind of right in what she’s saying because I did treat him really badly,” she said breaking Doug’s gaze as she looked to the floor.

“That’s between you and him though. It’s Nick’s choice as to whom he wants to be with and for one reason or another he’s chosen you and you wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t have chosen him too. Life isn’t easy at all, but after all you two have been through you’re not really going to let a brat like Angel come between you are you?” He asked and when she looked up to the expression on his face she le out a small laugh before answering.

“God no. I just don’t want to come between him and his family, family is important.”

“Family is important and I don’t want you to think for one second that you have come between him and us because it’s exactly the opposite. You may not have been the one to push him to go and talk with Jane but meeting you was the catalyst for a lot of events that led to him speaking to his Mom again. Do you know when the last time I saw Nick was?” Doug asked.

She shook her head.

“Two thousand and Two.”

“That’s like six years ago,” Adie said slightly shocked at how long it had been.

“Yeah,” Doug nodded, “It wasn’t just because of the physical changes that he’s made that almost caused me to not recognise him yesterday, he’s always been…”

“Childish?” Adie filled in, making Doug smile.

“I was going to say young at heart but you kind of hit the nail on the head. I think stems from working from such a young age and I’m not saying that it was wrong for him to do that, he’s seen a lot more of the world then I ever have or will, but I think it made him loose sight of what was important for a while. I think this year has made him grow up a hell of a lot, I think I’ve heard more from him in this past two months then I did over six years.”

Adie considered him for a moment. Nick had really grown up this past year, he had been practically unrecognisable on the trip home, she had seen small hints of him two days ago but he was still withdrawn into himself and she knew the whole breakthrough and opening up when they had been travelling was really only the tip of the iceberg. She knew she had to be patient with him, she knew it had to be up to him to open up more but in reality all she wanted to do was get back to how they used to be, yet she was unsure if they ever would again because too much had happened.

“How do you sustain being with someone and still being happy in fifty years?” She asked softly, not knowing if she wanted the answer.

“You understand that you can’t be happy every single day. You make allowances for arguments, you shout, you cry but what I’ve learnt is you never drag an argument into the following day, you can always start a fresh one in the morning,” He joked.

“Do you think we’re going to make it?” She asked.

Doug smiled widely as he nodded his head, “Absolutely. Can you honestly imagine your life without him in it?”

“No. Three months without him was hell and that was my own fault.”

“It’s in the past now, you have to look to the future. This whole thing with Angel will blow over, she’s always been protective of Nick and of Aaron. She means well but it doesn’t always come across that way,” Doug reassured.

“I didn’t mean what I said about her earlier because I think she’s an absolute sweetheart, I was just defending myself.” It was true too, Adie had always gotten on with Angel, she knew the whole reason for the argument downstairs was just because she was sick of seeing her Brothers get used and hurt but it didn’t make it any easier.

“And that’s completely fine, she can’t expect to come here and throw a load of insults and not get hit by some herself.”

Adie was about to say something when she heard the front door slam and the faint voices they had been able to hear earlier had stopped.

“Guess Angel’s had enough,” Doug said.

Adie got up and looked out of the window and Doug was right, Angel was stalking off across the street, Colin following quickly behind but when she heard his voice she turned.

“Hey, you okay?” He asked as he leant against the door frame.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” Adie asked as she made her way towards him, taking his hands in hers, studying them intently, “Any breaks or cuts?”

“Nope no breaks or cuts,” he sighed, “Just pain in my ass known as my sister. You can tell me Gramps, she’s really adopted isn’t she? Or at least I am?”

“She’ll come round. You know what she’s like,” Doug said as she stood up from the bed and rested his weight on his walking stick.

“Yeah a pain in the ass,” Nick grumbled again.

“She was just looking out for you,” Adie told him.

“Hmm can we not talk about it?” He semi snapped with a small sigh.

“Okay if that’s what you want, I’m going to take a shower and get dressed,” she said as she left the room, thanking Doug for their talk, it felt good to know that there was another member of Nick’s family on her side. Then again, she thought to herself as she walked into the bathroom after collecting her toiletry bag for the room the Nick and her were sharing, it wasn’t about taking sides. It should never be about taking sides, people should be able to respect one another enough to respect the decisions that they make. Maybe if she had realised that sooner then this whole mess could have been avoided, then again life would be very boring without a bit of drama in it.

She let her mind wander as she tried to relax her body under the warm stream of water but her mind could just not shut off from all the people who were currently made her, important people in her life her were no longer talking to her. She still hadn’t heard from Rachel, and now Angel wasn’t talking to her and she didn’t know what she could do to make it right. She had tried to apologise but Adie knew that words were not ever going to be enough to fix the rift between her and Rachel, and Angel reminded Adie so much of her own sister it was scary. Yet she wanted to put what Doug had said about not carrying an argument into the next day into practice, although her own spin was slightly different because with the new year on the horizon she didn’t want to drag all the baggage from this year into the next new one.

She rinsed the shampoo out of her hair and squirted the conditioner into her hands before she smoothed it through her hair, inhaling the coconut scent she had smelt in Nick’s last night. He was quite clearly pissed off with Angel and if there was one thing she knew Carters could do well was carry that on, she just hoped that it wouldn’t carry on for the rest of the week because it was going to drag by very slowly if nobody was willing to talk to each other.

When she finished her shower she wrapped herself in the large cream towel and made her way out of the bathroom, heading towards the room that Leslie and Mike were staying in so she could borrow a hairdryer if Leslie had packed one. Mike was the one to open the door when she knocked.

“Did Les pack a hairdryer by any chance?” She asked.

“Adie it’s Les she packed the kitchen sink,” he joked.

“Shut up Mike, you can come in Adie,” She heard Leslie call from inside the room and when Mike opened the door wider she made her way in noticing Leslie sat on the bed reading a magazine.

“I knew I could count on you Les,” Adie joked.

“Surprising with a last name like Carter isn’t it?” She asked.

“Ahh but you’re not now though are you?” Adie reminded as she took the hairdryer Mike passed to her smile of thanks crossing her lips.

“Yeah, maybe that’s why I’m not such a bitch.”

“Hey, she’s still your sister,” Adie reminded.

“No right to talk to you like that though,” Leslie huffed.

“Leslie I’m not surprised okay, I knew someone was going to have an issue with me being here. She’s doing exactly what family should do, she’s closing ranks because her big brother has been hurt, he’s been hurt loads in the past and I did it to him again and she didn’t like it. She would do exactly the same to Mike if he hurt you, just like I will kick his ass if he hurts you and then you’ve got Nick and Aaron to get through as well Mike, so it’s in your best interests to not hurt her,” Adie said as she turned to Mike.

Mike laughed before replying, “Trust me Adie, Nick had a whole conversation about what to expect if I ever hurt his sister.”

“Okay now I have visions of Nick being like Ross Geller in that episode of friends, could you keep a straight face?” She asked with a laugh making Leslie smile.

“Just about.”

“See Les and you know if Colin was to hurt Angel you would so be there. And as much as I’m grateful for you sticking up for me I don’t want to come between you and Angel because you guys have come so far in getting to know each other again since the show. I need to fight my own battles with her, I need to make her see that I’m not going to treat Nick the way I have again. I just kind of need to work out how I’m going to do it,” Adie said.

“Is Nick okay?” Leslie asked.

“He’s pissed off which is cool, I’m used to pissed off Nick at the moment. Now I hear there are some cool slopes around here or something. I can’t ski or snowboard to save my life I plan on sitting on my ass and sliding down them,” Adie joked.

“There’s tyre runs, much better then boarding,” Leslie offered.

“Good. I’m going to get dressed but I’ll see you later.”

Adie make her way back to the room that she and Nick were sharing, throwing him a small smile when he looked up from the book that he was reading.

“You were ages,” he noted.

“I went to speak to Leslie,” she said as she placed the hairdryer on the bed before she routed around in her toiletry bag and put some deodorant on.

“She stuck up for you too. The only person that’s pissed off about you being here is Angel but she’s just acting like a spoilt brat so forget her,” Nick replied bitterly.

Adie sat down on the bed next to him and studied him for a minute before she spoke her next words.

“Am I really worth all this trouble Nicky?”

He put his book down on the nightstand before he turned and looked at her and after a few seconds he placed both his hands so he could cup her face before he leant in for a kiss. It wasn’t passionate, it wasn’t breath taking, but it was full of love, full of reassurance and when it was over Adie already knew his answer before he said it.

“I love you so yes you are worth it. It’s like Gramps said, she’ll come round, she’s just testing you right now. She needs to get used to it because I’m not letting you go again.”

“Good,” she told him with a smile, as she pulled away from him, noticing his pout, “I have to get dressed I’m cold.”

She walked over to her bag and pulled out her outfit pulling on the items as Nick spoke to her from his place on the bed.

“Mom invited us to hers for Christmas but I figured we’d be spending it at your folks this year.”

“No we’re not. To be honest I really don’t feel like celebrating Christmas this year.”

“You love Christmas, you get excited at like August time for Christmas,” Nick reminded.

“Not this year,” Adie said solemnly as she took the towel of her head and started to roughly dry her hair with it. It didn’t last long because Nick yanked the towel away from here.

“What are you doing?”

“I figured you would want to spend it with your family because it’s Max’s first Christmas.”

“That’s precisely the reason I don’t want to spend it with them, because it would have been Molly’s first Christmas too,” She reminded. He was silent for a moment and Adie thought the subject would be dropped and forgotten about so she was disappointed when he continued.

“All of Max’s first things are going to be what Molly’s firsts would have been, he’s your nephew Adie you can’t avoid him forever.”

“Yeah and I know that. It’s not just about that, Rachel’s still pissed off at me and I know I’m not going to be in a great mood, I don’t everybody’s memories of Max’s first Christmas to be ruined by me and I don’t want to ruin your Mom’s and Greg’s Christmas it’s not fair,” she told him as she pulled the towel back from him.

“But its okay to ruin mine?” He asked childishly.

“Oh come on, the Christmas before we got together how did you spend it?” She asked but he kept silent. “You and Chris spent the day getting wasted. Look if you want to spend Christmas with my folks or with your Mom, I’m not going to stop you, I just can’t do it.”

“So what you’re going to spend the day at home by yourself? I suppose you're going to spring on me that you’ve offered to work it next aren’t you?” he snapped.

“Nick I haven’t even thought about going back to work,” Adie told him softly, hurt at the accusation.

“I find that hard to believe.” He sneered.

“Why do you find it so hard to understand where I’m coming from?” She asked.

“Because you are doing what you do best Adie, you’re running when things get tough.”

“If I was still running Nick I would have been on a flight home by now. I’m here and I’m meeting a lot of your family for the first time and everybody knows the only reason this isn’t the lovely reunion it should be is because of me. So please show me a little respect and don’t accuse me of running when things get tough,” she said as she picked up the hair dryer and switched it on so she could dry her hair, turning her back to him.

She watched him through the mirror as he angrily picked up his book and continued to read as she dried her hair off and hoped that five minutes of silence would break him from his crappy mood. She couldn’t do it, she couldn’t be there to watch Max open his presents, to look in awe at the Christmas lights, he would be six months when Christmas day hit, probably smiling and laughing, she couldn’t sit there with a sombre face whilst people walked on egg shells around her, it just wouldn’t be fair.

She flicked off the hairdryer but managed to cut in before he could say anything.

“Look before you say anything, we both promised Aaron that we wouldn’t fight on this trip, obviously Angel didn’t get that memo but the least we can do is limit it at that one. So can we just put this aside until we get home please?” She asked.

“Looks like we’ve got a big fight when we get back then doesn’t it? I mean we’re already storing up quite a few topics to fight about, where you work, how we’re going to spend Christmas,” he reeled off.

“Don’t forget you and your attitude problem when you don’t get your own way!” She threw back as she placed her hands on her hips in a vain attempt to try and make herself look bigger. What happened next she completely was not expecting, because instead of Nick yelling something else at her, he burst out laughing.

“What? What’s funny?”

“It’s just,” he chuckled, “The whole stare down pissed off look you have right now. That look right there, it’s the first look you ever gave me and I still love it.”

“Screw you Nick,” She said still semi angry from the fight they had just been having.

“Can you? Please? It’s been a while,” He said as he moved up the bed and walked up wrapping his arms around her shoulders from behind. “Remember how good it is after a fight?”

Adie relaxed back against him, a small sigh escaping her lips as his own trailed down her neck. That right there, she missed that, she missed feeling his breath on her, the softness of his fingertips as they stroked up and down her arms, the complete feeling of being safe whenever he wrapped her in his strong arms. She could feel herself giving in, until she heard the front door below slap shut and Doug yell something at Aaron about closing it more quietly.

“We can’t,” she mumbled, moving away from his lips.

“Yes we can,” he said as he moved closer again.

“You’re entire family is in this house,” she tried to reminded but she felt him shake his head.

“Beej isn’t here, Angel’s not back yet and my Dad defently won’t be here,” he said between kisses.

“Don’t get smart with me Carter,” she said as she pulled away completely making him pout. “When we get home I promise.”

“Great another five days,” he said as he sat back down on the bed.

“Think how good it’s going to be, we can be as loud as we want,” she said wiggling her eyebrows at him as she routed around in her bag pulling out the two pill containers, popping one from each in her mouth.

“What are you taking?” He asked.

“Aspirin, which I think as I’m taking one every day, I should take a stock in, that’s never going to crash is it?” She said making a light hearted joke about the Hughes syndrome she had been diagnosed with.

“So what was the other one?” He asked.

“The pill,” she shrugged.

“As in contraceptive pill?” He asked and she nodded, watching the emotion on his face change, the anger flooding back quickly.

“We’re you just not going to tell me?”

“What?” She asked confused.

“I thought we were going to try again?” He asked.

“Maybe. In a couple of years or something,” she said instantly knowing that the fight before had just been a warm up compared to what this one was likely to turn into.

“A couple of years? I can’t believe this, I thought you of all people would want to try again straight away. We were happy, when you were pregnant we were good, I was excited about becoming a Dad, I want to feel like that again,” he said as she stood from the bed.

“Eight months ago you were accusing me of trying to trap you by getting pregnant behind your back, and now your pissed off me at for not wanting to get pregnant three months after we’ve just buried our daughter. Having another baby isn’t going to fix things Nick, it’s not going to make us communicate better. You said to me on that first night back in Nashville, the reason we lost Molly was because we weren’t ready for her, so how are we ready for another one now?” She asked trying to make him see that he was being slightly hypocritical.

“It’s not about that, it’s about you lying to me about taking it,” he said the volume of his voice increasing.

“I never lied to you about it. This is first time you asked about it, it’s not something you just throw in general conversation, oh by the way don’t worry we’re covered I’m on the pill. Why are you so upset about this? You weren’t even sure you wanted to be with me five days ago,” she reminded but it was like he wasn’t even listening to her.

“So because you’re not ready it means I have to wait? How is that fair?”

It was like de ja vu only the roles had been reversed because at the beginning of the year it had been her saying those words, it had been her having to wait around for him to be ready.

“Did you just hear what you said?” She asked. He didn’t answer, just stood and stared at her. “Those were the same things I was asking you not too long ago. We’re going round in circles Nick and it has to stop, we need to get better at talking, about understanding where the other is coming from. There is still a lot of anger and frustration in each of us that needs to come out before we have a family, we need to break this cycle,” she said as she made her way towards him but it was obvious he was past the point of understanding, because he stalked right passed her.

“I’ll gladly break the cycle for you, because I’m out of here.”

“Nick!” She called after him but it was no good and she watched him retreat down the stairs and when the front door slammed again, she wiped the tear that had escaped away.