He had felt her leave the confines of the warm bed and his arms earlier and had expected her to return but she hadn’t and now the noise in the room seemed to be increasing, it couldn’t possibly be morning could it? He was so tired that it felt like he had only closed his eyes for a few seconds before he was awakened, he supposed he would have to get used to this again.
He had been spoilt with the lie-ins, with waking up next to her on most occasions, they would either wind up having that great mid morning sex which was enough to put you in a good mood for the rest of the day, or they would sit and watch morning TV in bed. It usually involved watching an old re run of Jerry Springer or Opera which ended up in both of them arguing with what was being said on the TV but all the while making them feel a bit more confident that their own lives weren’t nearly as bad, and the problems that they felt were huge were just specs of dust compared to some of the ones others had to suffer. That was the way it had been ever since they started living together, sure there were the occasions were it didn’t happen, she would be at work or he would be away recording but the separation was minimal, two weeks at the most. This tour was going to change all that.
He would have to get used to the late nights and early call times again, the constant travelling that reeked havoc with his cell reception, how frustrating the time difference was. Most of all though, he was dreading not going to sleep next to her and not waking to her sleepy face in the morning. He mentally shook his head at himself if he’s friends could read his thoughts they’d call him pussy whipped, a complete sap but to be honest he didn’t really care, he had what he wanted more then anything, a girl who loved him for him and not just for the fame or the money or the lifestyle. In one way it was good, she was definitely her own person, had her own opinions, wouldn’t let people drag her down without a fight. When most of the other girls had given up their own dreams to follow his she had refused, she had worked to damn hard to get where she was, she loved what she did and she was damn certain that he wouldn’t give up his dreams to stay in Nashville with her and retire from the business. She was right, he just couldn’t do it and it was unfair of him to expect her to do what he wouldn’t, so after many years of getting his own way where women were concerned, Nick Carter finally had to learn to compromise.
It was the best thing that had ever happened to him. At first it had been easy, he had been coming to the end of the Never Gone Tour and had lots of free time on his hands anyway, sure there was the reality show but that had only been over a summer. She had visited but had wanted nothing to do with the show, so they had met in private a few times, talked for hours of the phone and it was over that period of time that he decided that he was done with long distance, he was done with L.A and when the show wrapped he had shown up at her door until he found a place of his own in Nashville. It had only been his own for a short three months before he asked her to move in with him and she excepted without hesitation but there were a few conditions. He couldn’t expect her to give up her job so she could follow him on tour and she would pay her way, she would contribute to the bills. He had told her that money wasn’t a problem, that he had more then enough but she wouldn’t hear it and so he conceded.
So for six months they lived together, only spending time away from each other when she was working and he loved it. He loved her, he loved their life and most of all he loved the animosity he somehow seemed to have in their small town, he liked being able to go for a meal and not have to worry about the paparazzi, he liked that no matter where he looked there were no bad memories like there was in Florida. So when he got the call from Brian to say that maybe it was time to head back in to the studio again he couldn’t quite in all honesty say he wasn’t slightly disappointed that things were going to change. He knew that the majority of the recording would take place in Florida and LA, he knew that this album would not be a quick recording, they had to find out who they were again what with Kevin leaving, and he knew that he was going to find the separation hard. It was either going to make them or break them and he honestly thought it would be the latter.
He was quite pleasantly surprised though. Long distance had never really been his thing, whenever he was separated from previous girlfriends it was when he tended to stray, making the colossal mistake of hooking up with some random hoochie. He told himself that it was because he was lonely, bored, an array of excuses that didn’t go down well when the women he was supposed to be committed to found out. That hadn’t happened with Adie, well…actually that wasn’t entirely true but it had just been a kiss, it was water under the bridge now. He quickly realised that absence made the heart grow fonder, that he couldn’t wait until he saw her, it made their time together more special, something he learned to treasure. Surely it would be like that again this time? He wasn’t so sure, it was all well and good being away for two weeks but the longest they were going to be apart through this tour was six weeks and that was if she managed to swap some holiday time, if she couldn’t they were looking at eight.
“I know you're awake,” she sing-songed as she pulled the pillow out from under his head, breaking him from his thoughts.
“If I wasn’t I sure am now,” he replied gruffly rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
“It’s a beautiful day the sun is shining, you aren’t seriously going to spend it in bed are you?” She asked sceptically, zipping the bag shut and moving it off the bed and to the floor by the door.
“If it means you’ll have no one to drop you at the airport then yeah,” he yawned making her frown.
“Don’t do that,” she said softly sitting down next to him on the bed, running her hand through his silky blonde locks.
“Sorry,” he apologised, it wasn’t his aim to make her feel bad, to feel guilty about going back to Nashville for work, he knew she had to but it didn’t make it any easier.
“It’s a week and a half and then you’ll be back,” she tried to placate, smiling at him softly.
“I know, I’ve just been spoilt that’s all, I don’t like being by myself,” he admitted.
“You think I don’t know that Nick? How many messages do you send me when I’m working and you’ve got no one round?” She asked him shaking her head playfully at him. “Anyways you’re going to be so busy when the tour kicks off properly that you’re not going to have time to miss me.”
“What about when I’m all alone at night?” He asked through a pout, pulling her so that she was laid next to him.
“You’ll be dog tired from all the dancing that you’ll fall asleep right away,” she added resting her head on his chest. At least that’s what she was hoping, after all it hadn’t taken him long last time…no it was a kiss, nothing else happened beyond that, he knew that this was the only chance he was getting, if he blew it that was the end. He wouldn’t be that stupid again, it had been two years ago, they were new into their relationship, he was stupid and drunk, a mistake that’s all it had been.
“Do you have an answer for everything?” He asked sceptically.
“Yep. Now get up!” She said smacking him lightly on the chest as she sat.
“Don’t want to,” he whined.
“You know if the wind changes your face will stay like that,” she told him matter of faculty.
“So that’s why Howie looks the way he does,” he chuckled at his own joke.
“Stop picking on Howie,” she said pulling his hands in a vain attempt to get him moving.
“Why? It’s fun,” he shrugged.
“It’s mean,” she told him poking his nose.
“See Howie’s stealth you don’t see the stuff he does to me,” he tried to justify, sitting up slightly.
“Oh you’re such a victim,” she said sarcastically letting him get up and off the bed so he could change.
An hour later they were walking hand in hand to the check in desk something that they were both going to have to get used to, it was going to become their norm within the next few months.
“I’m starting to see why you hate airports,” she said to him once she had checked in her luggage.
“Only a week and a half though,” he said to her, wrapping his strong arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him.
“Yep,” she agreed, “and out of those ten days I’m going to be at work for seven so I’m not going to have time to think about you, let alone miss you,” she joked laughing at the huge pout the covered his face. “I was joking!”
“You’re a meanie,” he told her.
“That’s not what you were saying last night,” she said cockily a large smile crossing her face.
“Call me when you land?” He said before placing a kiss to her nose.
“Of course, I love you,” she said before leaning in to give him a kiss, a little surprised when he intensified it, his tongue massaging her lip until she gave him the access that he wanted. She pulled away breathless after a minute eyeing him suspiciously. “What was that?” She asked.
“Just thought I would remind you of what you’re going to miss,” he shrugged handing her the carry on bag she had dropped at their feet earlier.
“It’s ten days babe, I have to go,” she said looking towards the security check point.
***
She stood in the trauma room waiting for any orders from Marissa, the resident currently running the assessment, but she didn’t think that there would be many, after all in front of her on the resuscitare, wailing about being examined was, what looked like, a perfectly healthy new born. All she was missing was a mother.
“I think we can safely say she has a pair of well working lungs, don’t you little one,” Marissa cooed as she bundled the child back up in the mass of blankets. “There’s nothing physically wrong that I can see but I suppose we should get a paediatrician down here to look and then see if there is a bed on the new born unit, unless Mom comes forward.”
“Yeah. You happy for me to feed her?” Adie asked as she patted the newborns stomach to try and calm her.
“Yeah sure maybe then my ears won’t hurt as much,” she joked as she scribbled a few things down on the chart before leaving the small paediatric area of the ER.
“Hey, hey, hey Pumpkin, shhhhhh,” she tried to soothe as she picked up the small mass, swaddled in the blankets. “There that’s better isn’t it, is that what you wanted huh? Shall we see about getting some food into that tummy?” She asked as she made her way to where the small milk storage was. Once the bottle was heated she made herself as comfortable as she could on one of the plastic ER chairs and began to feed the still screaming baby, the room becoming silent as she began to suckle.
How could anyone give up something this perfect? Why would you want to? Adie thought to herself as she fed the baby in her arms. Then again she wasn’t actually that naive, there was always a reason and she had seen this before. Usually the Mother hadn’t wanted this, they wanted to keep their child but there were certain factors at play. A lot of the time it was age, they were too young, hadn’t told their family members, thought that they would be disowned if they did. By abandoning their child they thought that they would be giving them a better chance at life, they sometimes didn’t realise that they were handing them a death sentence by leaving them in places where they might not be found.
Adie knew, deep down that this Mother hadn’t wanted this, for the baby in her arms had been dried after the birth, wrapped in three warm, thick blankets and left in the bathrooms of the local mall, a place that was frequented hourly by cleaners if by no one else in between. This mother would eventually come forward.
“Well look at that.”
She heard what was undoubtly Chelle’s voice from the doorway and looked to her friend smiling.
“What?” She asked pulling the bottle from the child’s mouth, causing it to start squirming and whimper. “Shhhh we need to get all the wind up,” she said as she moved the child to her shoulder so she could start patting it’s back.
“It suits you,” Chelle commented.
“It’s not an accessory.”
“Maybe not but you look like a pro, and now I’m wishing I had done peads instead of working with all these smelly adults who can talk back,” she said as she edged closer. “She’s just darling isn’t she? God now I’m getting broody.”
“I guess I’m going to have to get used to this,” she said as she bought the baby back into the crook of her arm once she had burped.
“You’re not?” Chelle asked excitedly, getting the wrong end of the stick from what Adie had said.
“No I’m not but-”
“Rachel is?” Chelle finished for her throwing her an apologetic smile when Adie nodded. “Well have you talked to him?” She asked.
“I didn’t really get much of a chance when I was there. I mean we were busy with his birthday and other stuff.”
“You busy being jealous?” She asked knowingly as she leant against the wall.
“It’s so wrong isn’t it? I’m jealous of my own sister who deserves to be happy. I’m going to talk to him though I just need to find the right moment,” she said as she offered the baby the bottle again.
“Good, well make sure it’s sooner rather then later. At least that way you’ll know what’s going through his head and even if he isn’t up for a baby or marriage now he might give you a time frame,” she suggested.
“Yeah what did you come in here for anyway?” She asked changing the subject.
“To escape from the madness out there for a few minutes,” she laughed.
***
She sighed in relief as she got into her Red VW Beetle convertible, it signified the end to a busy shift and it also meant that she was one day closer to seeing her beloved. Just as she had anticipated she hadn’t really had an opportunity to dwell on the fact that he hadn’t been around, work had been so crazy that she had actually been asked to cover another shift. At first she had been loathed to do it, the department being so draining that she didn’t think she would possibly have the energy to go back in but the more she thought about it the more sense it seem to make. It meant that she would be occupied for another twelve hours, less time to think about his absence, it also meant that she could spend more time on tour with him as they offered the shift as a time owing rather then overtime money. Sure it was only a day but she knew a day could make all the difference.
She got herself comfy as she lowered the roof to the convertible, she loved this car, loved how girly yet sporty it was, loved how it made her feel to know that she had bought it herself, with her hard earned cash. God the arguments that had caused she remembered. He hadn’t long moved here but she had gladly accepted his offer to move in with him when he asked after just three short months, she practically lived there anyway. Well she had been driving to work one morning when her old Neon Dodge just died, she knew that it was on its last legs, and had been saving to buy a new one. Of course he had offered to buy her a new car, whatever she wanted, even took her to the Range Rover show room but she had point blankly refused to get out of his when he shut off the engine.
“You are not buying me a car,” she said her arms crossing over her chest defensively when she realised he had conned her into coming here.
“Why not?” He asked.
“Because they are too expensive, especially range rovers” she told him through the open window of the passenger door, quickly locking it when he went to open it from the outside.
“You’re making a scene,” he told her.
“Then take me home,” Adie retaliated.
“No you need a car, so I’m getting you a car,” he said firmly.
“Well I don’t want one, I’ll catch a lift with Chelle.”
“You know most people would just accept this nice gesture,” he told her starting to become more agitated.
“Well I’m not most people am I? Just can we please go,” she said raising an eyebrow to him and he conceded, ended up walking around to the drivers side and when he was there she unlocked the doors so he could get back in.
“Have it your way,” he mumbled as he started the ignition.
They drove most of the way home in silence, the radio the only thing breaking up the icy tension that seemed to grow between them. His gaze was trained on the road ahead of them, hers deviated from looking at him to the road beside her and eventually she gave in and knew she had to say something.
“It’s not that I don’t appreciate it Nick. I just…I’ve always been taught that you work for things, that you save for them and then they mean that much more when you finally can have them. I don’t want to scrounge off you all the time, that’s your money, what you’ve worked hard for,” she said reaching over placing her hand on top of his, smiling when he interlaced their fingers.
“I just don’t want to see you use all your money on a car when I have more then enough to buy you a new one,” he said still watching the road ahead of him.
“You don’t have to buy my love Nick.”
“It’s not about that,” he said looking to her quickly, backtracking when she threw him a look, “okay maybe a little bit. With other people I’ve been with-” he started.
“I’m not like them Nick, we’ve been over this,” she started cutting him off, squeezing his hand in reassurance.
“I know you’re not. Its just sometimes you’re too independent and too stubborn like you don’t how compromise,” he said checking his mirror as he signalled left before he turned down their street.
“And you are the master of comprimisation are you?” She chuckled.
“No I’m not saying that. Look I need to learn that I can’t always swoop in pay for everything but you need to learn that occasionally its okay to accept stuff like that from me,” he said slowing to a stop when they reached their property.
“I know. Seeing that we’re being honest here I feel the need to tell you that I’m not really a lover of Range Rovers,” she said scrunching her nose up a bit. Making him shake his head and laugh at her.
“What car do you like?” He asked.
“Beetle, I almost have enough saved,” she told him as she unclasped her seat belt.
“How much do you have?” He asked copying her actions.
“I think I’m one thousand short of the one at the dealership.”
“New or second hand?” He asked.
“Second hand, I think it’s three years old,” she had said opening her door.
“Well how about you put what you have up and I’ll pay the rest but,” he said putting his finger to her lips when she sighed, “You get a brand new one.”
“Nick,” she whined.
“Adie,” he whined back, “Comprimise!”
“You sure?” She asked and he nodded smiling brightly when she clapped and did a little happy dance before leaning over to kiss him. “Can we go now?” She asked excitedly when the pulled apart.
She smiled at the memory as she pulled into their driveway, glad to be home finally. Maybe she should have known then that they were going to have trouble when it came to compromise and that had been over something insignificant like a car. The smile quickly faded, if they had argued over that then how were they going to be rationale about the next steps of their relationship? Was it a good idea to discuss what she had been talking about with Chelle earlier? It seemed as though it was only going to cause more arguments. Then again the longer she left this the more it was going to play on her mind, the more irrational she would seem to Nick if she flipped out of the blue. No she had to talk to him, and she would as soon as he got home.
Only twelve more hours till he would be home anyway and at first she had been excited but now she was slightly anxious, knowing that either way the talk was going to change their relationship, she just didn’t know whether it was going to be a good thing or bad. She hopped out of the car and walked up the gravel driveway to the front door, pushing it open when she had unlocked it before making her way into the kitchen.
“I know, I know you missed me,” she said leaning down to pet Layla when she greeted her eagerly. She stood up after a few minutes walking to the fridge to grab a soda, making sure to pick up the phone before she walked over to the French doors that led out into the back yard. It had become her routine whenever he was away, well even when he was home really. She would get home from work around nine, and if he was home she would usually find him already out here, throwing the ball for Layla, the table all set for dinner so she could eat with him as soon as she got in. When he was away it was an opportunity for her to exercise Layla without having to walk her, a chance to call him and a chance to wind down from her busy day.
It was no different now. She threw the ball to the opposite end of the yard, watching as the dog chased after it before she keyed in the numbers for the messages she was likely to have. One from her Mom inviting her and Nick for dinner next week, one from the hair salon asking if she wanted to re book the appointment she had missed today, she knew there was a reason that she hesitated when work asked her to go in, and one from him.
He didn’t sound to happy, which meant on of two things that rehearsals weren’t going well or that he wasn’t coming home when they had planned.
“Baby? It’s me. I know you’re going to be pissed but I’m not going to be able to make it home till Saturday at the earliest, things aren’t going great here and we need more time to rehearse. I’m sorry. Call me, love you,” he said before the line went dead and the animated voice told her that was the end of her messages.
She sighed as she clicked the off button and sat down on the chair, placing the cordless phone on the table, stroking Layla’s head when she bought her ball back to be thrown again.
“Looks like it’s just us kiddo,” she said as she took the ball from her mouth and threw it again.
“Unless someone is a liar,” she heard from behind her, a smile crossing her face before she quickly turned her face to him, getting up from her chair she so could make her way to where he was stood leaning against the doorframe.
“You’re early!” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck, leaning up for a kiss. He wrapped his arms around her waist, grinding his hips into hers making her moan at the friction. God it would just be so easy to fall straight into bed with him, to have the conversation on another day, to prograsinate again. But she had to be strong, she needed to know for her own sanity. She reluctantly made herself pull back from the kiss and then even back away from him completely when he tugged at her to restart the kiss.
“What?” He asked confused.
“Can we talk?” She asked biting her lip in anticipation.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Rachel's announcement makes Adie realise that she needs to talk to Nick
Chapter End Notes:
Thanks for the reviews please keep them coming!
