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Nick drove down the roads of Nevada once more. Remembering Pearl's warning about being careful with her baby, he slowed down a bit so he could read his mission statement, taking his time to read each word of it carefully.

Agent 008:
Intelligence has discovered a terrorist group planning to infiltrate the international singing competition known as Global Idol, which is being held at the MGM Grand Casino in Las Vegas. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to go to Las Vegas, counter infiltrate the competition, and stop this threat…
This message will self destruct in two minutes.


He nodded to himself and absently shoved the note in his pocket, speeding up as the excitement rose within him with the knowledge that his first mission back was in Las Vegas. Things were looking up for him. Then, he remembered something.

"Wait, did that thing say it would-?" Nick began to ask out loud before he noticed a small fire burning a hole in his pants pocket. "Shit!" he exclaimed as he tried to pat out the fire, taking a deep breath to calm himself down once the fire was out. He then grabbed the steering wheel immediately once he realized the car was swerving on the road.

Nick again sped up his pace down the long stretch of road, finding himself wondering several things. Why do they make mission statements blow up? How do they make mission statements blow up? Do they put some sort of chemical in the paper or something? That sounds like the sort of thing that Pearl would know how to do.

He wondered if Agent K had asked someone specifically to make his mission statement blow up, knowing that Nick would put it in his pocket. That definitely sounded like the type of thing K would do to him. Nick shook his head and tried to re-focus himself on his mission.

He figured he was making good time, so he decided to relax a bit and see what other music Pearl had loaded onto his iPod. "Hmm..." he said out loud to himself. "Pantera, The Cure, Def Leppard, The Killers..." Nick listed, shuffling through the songs as he kept his eyes on the road. "Even that Crazy Frog song! Not bad, Pearl!" But then, his iPod seemed to turn on him.

'One, two, three, four, five
Everybody in the car, so come on
Let's ride to the liquor-store around the corner
The boys say they want some gin and juice
But I really don't wanna
Beerbust like I had last week
I must stay deep
Because talk is cheap
I like Angela, Pamela, Sandra and Rita
And as I continue you know
They're getting sweeter'


"What the-" Nick said with a frown. "Mambo No. 5" by Lou Bega. He hated this song. Pearl had always said it reminded her of him, and he guessed that was why she put it on here. He pressed the skip button a few times, but nothing happened. The song continued to play.

'A little bit of Monica in my life
A little bit of Erica by my side
A little bit of Rita is all I need
A little bit of Tina is what I see
A little bit of Sandra in the sun
A little bit of Mary all night long
A little bit of Jessica here I am
A little bit of you makes me your man'


"Oh very funny, Pearl," Nick grumbled, trying to shut off the iPod, but to no avail. He began to get frustrated with it and threw it on the passenger's seat, only to have it bounce off and fall on the floor. Nick worried that he might have damaged it, causing it to permanently be stuck on this song, as opposed to what he'd hoped was only a temporary trick being played at his expense. He quickly leaned over onto the passenger's seat and began to frantically search for his iPod. He felt it under the seat and tried desperately to pick it up.

"AHA!" Nick exclaimed, sitting up and holding up his iPod triumphantly. "Oh shit! Again!" he shouted, grabbing the steering wheel and once again trying to regain control of the car he'd forgotten he was still driving. He was panting now, as all the excitement had really gotten him riled up. The fact that the song was still playing didn't help, either. Thankfully it stopped a few seconds later, and at that point, Nick decided that he wasn't going to take his eyes off the road or his hands off the steering wheel again until he reached Las Vegas. He also decided to try and figure out how to remove that song from his iPod—if there was any way to do that—once he got home from this mission.


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The drive ended about half an hour later, after another unfortunate incident with the iPod and “Mambo #5;” seemed Pearl had programmed it to play not once or twice, but three times during the drive.

Nick would get her for that.

It also destroyed his plan to keep his eyes on the road and his hands on the wheel; in an attempt to improvise, he had even driven with his knees at one point, one on the wheel and one on the stick shift.

But that was all in the past. He opened the car door quickly and brushed off his many near accidents. It was at that point he pulled the charred mission paper from his back pocket, tossing it behind him casually as he shut the car door.

“So that’s why it took you so long to get here!” an excited and somewhat surprised voice chirped.

Nick froze stiffly, trying to avoid turning around. Didn’t he know that voice?

“Never mind… It’s just burnt paper…” the voice drawled in an almost quizzical tone.

Nick turned around abruptly and gave a quick glare. “And what exactly were you thinking, Diamond?”

She flashed him a quick smile before examining the paper and the car. “Well, that’s not the best way to use Pearl’s most expensive toy, you know?” She put her hands on the back window. “Are the seats leather?”

He brushed off her remark, if only to himself. After all the time he had spent cooped up at Himitsu Takana, K had finally given him a mission! And not some bullshit mission either, a real mission. He figured this was a reward for all the time he had spent balancing pencils on his nose. (Five was the record, by the way. How? It’s a secret. Fine… Sticking the tips in the erasers of the other pencils. Good method, isn’t it?) Oh, and all the card houses he had made. They really impressed Diamond and Lancy; good thing he’d found that super glue in the supply closet. And his dominoes experiment… Hadn’t gotten past Red, but somehow he would get them to stay up. Maybe that was another use for that super glue…

But even after all that - although K didn’t know about the dominoes… yet - he had actually gotten a real mission. He had also gotten a new toy, but that was completely a coincidence. Pearl had been working on it before today, right? Oh, and a watch that didn’t tell time… What time was it anyway? Lunch? Happy hour?

Nick puzzled over that a moment, then looked at the watch to get an answer. Oh wait… It didn’t tell time. He checked again anyway. But K had finally given him a mission, and let him revel in the glory of having said mission. He had even burned his pants as a testament to his happiness at having a mission.

And yet, there was Diamond. Diamond, who was… pressing herself against his new toy like a model in a car ad… Or the latest Playboy; he couldn’t really remember. Of course, he only read Playboy for the articles.

“…Wouldn’t wear a bra….”

Nick snapped back to attention. “What?”

Diamond let out a sigh. “It figures Pearl would want to show off her creation, so it wouldn’t wear a bra…”

“Oh, the car….”

Diamond turned to Nick with a small grin and tousled his hair. “Not in public, sweetheart.”

“So you’re staying then?” Nick was attempting to bite back his anger, but it was slowly subsiding anyway.

Diamond pulled out her phone and began typing on the keypad, barely acknowledging Nick. “Would I honestly travel to Vegas if I didn’t have to?”

“Second job?”

She continued typing. “While I would make an excellent showgirl, that’s what I have you for.”

Nick attempted to scowl but ended up forming some sort of pout. “How’d you get here so fast anyway?”

“HimTak helicopter.”

“Helicopter?!” Nick stepped back and ended up slipping on a puddle beside his car. He fell on his back; water drops cascaded around him and covered his face.

“Yeah, we got it a week ago… Was it raining?” She sat in silence for a moment, then turned to where Nick had been standing; it was at that point she looked down. She pointed to her face. “Eyes up here, huh?”

“Can’t see that high up,” Nick smirked.

She rolled her eyes and gave him a hand. “Obviously you need glasses.”

He took her hand and pulled himself up. “Don’t they just make things bigger? Actually, that’s not a bad suggestion….” He hid his smirk after receiving Diamond’s death glare. “What were you doing anyway?”

“I was texting Lancy and telling him about your horrible outfit… Hold still, huh?” She took a picture of the sopping Nick and then continued pressing buttons on her phone. “I was also asking a friend to pick up my dry cleaning, making a hair appointment, setting up a dinner date, and flirting with another date.”

“Let me see!” Nick stole her phone.

“Hey!” Diamond squealed.

Nick let out a low chuckle as he tossed her phone back. “Save some of that for me, huh?”

Diamond grumbled and then noticed Nick’s pants hanging off his ass. It was like he was an attractive plumber… which was an oxymoron at best. She began laughing. “I take it that’s to impress the ladies that fall on their back?”

“I’m not wearing a dress or anything,” Nick grumbled as he pulled his pants up.

“Maybe you should put some boxers on for me, huh?”

“Got a preference?” He stuck out his tongue.

“Pink with hearts!” Diamond laughed.

Nick put a hand on Diamond’s butt. “Sure. Let’s get a suite and forget all this mission nonsense…” He pulled Diamond toward him, placing a hand lightly against her upper thigh and placing his face a few inches from hers. “Remember when we went to the Wynn Casino?”

Diamond let out a low moan as she placed her hand on Nick’s neck.

Nick leaned in to kiss her when he heard a loud popping sound. “What the hell?!” Nick turned toward the hood of the car, then the trunk. He was surprised that the trunk was open. “Did I open that?”

Diamond leaned against the car and started texting on her phone again. “Good timing, ace.”

Nick ran over to the trunk and looked at its contents. Road repair kit that he had no idea how to use, a spare tire that he had no idea how to put on, medical toxins and cures that he knew nothing about, and… bright pink boxers with hearts on them. Nick pulled them up and ran to Diamond, shoving them in her face. “What are these?”

Diamond held out her phone and took a picture as a smile spread across her face. “God answered my request!”

A scowl crossed Nick’s face. “Damnit Pearl!!!!”


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