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“What a line that was! Phew!” Lancy sighed, as he made his way through the crowd, eyeing the ticket he was holding. “There we are! Perfect seats, aren’t they?” he said to Diamond, who was following him closely.

Diamond threw herself into the seat next to Lancy with a soft puff. “And how much did you pay to get these seats, Lancy?” She looked around her. “Front row, middle, right behind the judges… must have cost you a fortune!”

“More than a Gucci suit, less than a Louis Vuitton luggage set.” He wiggled his eyebrows playfully. “Worth every single penny, right?”

Diamond nodded absently, checking her surroundings once more. “It’s been two days, and we’ve interrogated every single skater, and still, there’s nothing. I’m starting to think this Kimmy girl is buried deep down in the snow up in the mountains.”

Lancy threw a hurtful look to Diamond. “Don’t say things like that!” he gasped. “That was just mean, Di.” Pouting, he eyed the cardboard signs he had prepared for his favorite single ladies ice skaters, before continuing bitterly, “Too bad she can’t be here tonight to perform. Leaving the stage to that filthy Mao Asada and all the other Asian hussies. They’ll never rival the Queen!”

Feeling quite bad for him, Diamond threw an arm around Lancy’s shoulders in an attempt of comfort, offering a tissue.

“Thank you.” Lancy took the tissue, sniffing. “But we’ll find her soon enough, and then she’ll be safe again and compete in the next Olympics, right?” His face lit up. “And when we save her, then she’ll know me and how I’m her biggest fan, and we’ll be best friends forever, and I’ll get free tickets to every competition of hers!” He clapped his pink mitten-covered hands joyfully. “Can’t wait to save her!”

Diamond gave him a supportive smile. “Much better attitude, Lancy. Of course we’ll save her. This whole thing has been too much on you, but keep up the faith. I’m sure Kimmy is still safe and sound somewhere around-”

Right at that moment, the whole arena went pitch black, causing the audience to moan and protest loudly.

“What’s going on?!” Lancy spoke fearfully. “Di?! Where are you?! You know I’m no big fan of darkness!”

“I’m right beside you, Lancy.” Diamond placed her hand on his knee, trying to soothe him. “I bet it’s just a technical difficulty. The lights will come back in a minute,” she assured him, trying to convince herself at the same time. It could very well be just a technical difficulty, as she’d said, but her agent instincts knew better than that. She smelled something fishy, but she couldn’t put a finger on what it could be.

Before she could go further with her instincts, the arena lightened, as an image appeared on the huge LED screens hanging above the skating rink. As the image got clearer, an olive-skinned forehead, belonging to a dark-haired man, and the exposed wooden rafters of a rustic ceiling appeared on the screen.

The man cleared his throat.

“Olympic spectators of the world-” He paused, as his forehead creased. “CLINT!”

The ponderous upper half of a Sumi mascot also appeared on the screen, looking towards the camera and startling the second it noticed that the position of the camera was aimed higher than anticipated.

“Sorry, boss,” came the muffled voice of the Sumi mascot, as it galumphed back towards the other end of the camera to adjust it.

“Why you are ruining my big appearance, I have no idea. Why I don’t kill you right away, is another question. Remind me later to do just that, will you?” the man spoke unmercifully.

“I recognize that voice…” Narrowing her eyes, Diamond watched the screen carefully, as the camera tossed and turned around and finally landed on a suitable position to reveal the identity of the voice. The face sharpened slowly into focus, revealing the dark, flashing eyes, the large teeth set between lips that were drawn back in a sinister smile…

“DR. ROUGH!” Diamond yelped, almost jumping out of her seat. “Lancy, tell me if it’s really Dr. Rough, or if that was one hell of a punch we drank right outside!!”

“OHMYGOD!” Lancy squealed in terror. “Wasn’t he dead?! Didn’t he blow up in pieces in that helicopter in Canada?!?”

“Fucking Return of the Living Dead revised, featuring Dr. Rough,” Diamond hissed through clenched teeth, as the first shock of seeing the evil man alive slowly wore off.

“Olympic spectators of the world!” Dr. Rough pronounced again. He spread his arms wide, jostling the ferret draped over his shoulder. “I’m sure you are wondering why the main event of ice skating competition has not yet commenced.” He paused for a moment, his left eye twitching slightly. “The Twenty-first Winter Olympic Games, held in this beautiful city of Canada-”

“Arrrggh!” Diamond growled, her eyes fixed on the screen, as Dr. Rough rambled about the history of Winter Olympics. “Why does this ugly, twitchy bastard have to be behind this?!” She looked at Lancy, who was too shocked to say anything besides repetitive “Ohmygods.”

“I wonder, why he does feel obligated to get his huge nose and twitchy eye into every popular cultural event?” Diamond continued, fuming. “Couldn’t he just take a vacation or something? Anything? Maybe, you know, DIE… for real?! Seriously, I’m getting so fed up with him!” She flipped her phone open and dialed Pearl’s number.

“I’m on it,” was Pearl’s reply into the phone.

“On what?”

“On Dr. Rough’s whereabouts,” Pearl replied. “He’s seriously worse than a cat, man. At least they have only nine lives, and you know when it’ll end. Not like this prick. I’ve already been tracking down the Coliseum’s broadcast, the phone lines, the internet, the JumboTron feed and whatnot, pretty much all of their system, really, just to make sure we weren’t missing anything. So it was our dear old friend Dr. Rough behind the kidnapping – what a surprise.” She scoffed. “I’m seriously sick of him.”

“I officially love you, Pearl!” Diamond let out a sigh. “Just try to find a clue as to where he could be as soon as possible, will ya?” She hung up and turned her attention back to the screen, just in time to catch the rest of Dr. Rough’s speech.

“As many of you must have heard already, the sweet South Korean darling, the beloved queen of figure skating, dearest Kim Yu-Na, has been missing for the past couple of days. Kidnapped days before her big break on the Winter Olympics. Isn’t that just heartbreaking?” He pouted, feigning sadness.

“He wouldn’t kill her, would he?” Lancy sobbed, as he asked in a whisper. Diamond squeezed his hand as a response.

Dr. Rough’s lips curved into a devilish smile. “But I have good news to share! Your beloved shining star, the queen of the ice, is among you right now! As a matter of fact, she’s about to make her grand entrance.” He clapped his hands joyfully. “Light, please!”

A blinding spotlight shone towards the side of the ice rink, revealing the petite South Korean standing there. Some of the screens changed from Dr. Rough to show a close-up of Kim Yu-Na. The audience let out a loud gasp as she set her right skate on the ice and stumbled, regaining her balance just enough to stay upright. It became visible to everyone in the Coliseum how hard she was trembling when she raised her shaky hands to her face to dry her tears.

“All hail the Queen!” Lancy gushed, folding his hands on his chest. “But why is she trembling so hard? And why is she crying-?”

The spotlight followed Kim Yu-Na, as she started skating slowly around the ice rink. There was something strapped around her willowy frame, making her appear bulkier than she was. As Diamond squinted, trying to tell what she was wearing, Dr. Rough’s face appeared on the LED screen once again, with the familiar twitching of his eye.

“As you can all see, she’s in a very well condition. No harm was done whatsoever. Yet…” He let out a loud, evil laugh and leaned in closer towards the camera. “You must be wondering what this all hassle was about, why THE GREAT DR. ROUGH kidnapped the dearest Queen Yu-Na in the first place, and why she’s now on the stage SKATING, with a BOMB strapped on her-”

In the blink of an eye, people got up from their seats hurriedly and rushed towards the exits with panic.

“A bomb?!” Lancy screamed, fanning his face with his hands. “A BOMB?! On Kimmy?! OHMYGOD, NOOO!”

“Just don’t faint, Lancy, please; I need you here!” Diamond knew what the bulk was now: a belt of dynamite, encircling the skater’s narrow torso.

Dr. Rough’s voice rose higher to stifle the deafening screams. “Please make way for the shining star, the queen of the ice, skating for one night, and one night only, to the lucky crowd of people at the Winter Olympics, 2010!” he continued ecstatically, as people’s screams grew louder. “Don’t forget, if she falls down, she’ll burst into millions of pieces! Maybe you’ll be lucky enough to have a part of her as a souvenir! What an honor!” He let out another sinister chuckle, as his eyes grew large with manic delight. “ENJOY THE SHOW, VANCOUVER! IT’S BEEN LOVELY TO SEE YOU ALL! DR. ROUGH’S BEEN IN THE HOUSE! GOODNIGHT! MUAHAHAHA!”

As the screens went black, and people piled in front of the exits, desperate to leave the arena before the bomb went off, the familiar theme of cinema’s most iconic secret agent began playing through the speakers.

“Is this a joke?” Diamond took out her phone to dial Pearl’s number again. “Like all of this wasn’t enough, did she really have to skate to THIS?” She shook her head and headed in the opposite direction of everyone else, as the phone kept ringing. She motioned Lancy to follow her.

“I got a lead!” Pearl answered the call. “Hang on, Nick is on the other line; I’m connecting him.”

“That fucking, twitchy prick!”

“Hi to you too, Nick,” Diamond replied, as she climbed down the stairs, Lancy following closely behind her.

“I’m gonna rip off that greasy-haired head of his and dribble it like a basketball!”

“Jeez, thank you for the visual, darling.”

“Why does he have to be behind everything? I mean, can’t he just take a break and leave the stage to other evil super villains? Just for a change?!”

Diamond came to a halt as she reached the side of the ice rink. “My point exactly.”

“Alright, you two, enough with the chitchat already! Somebody’s still trying to work here!” Pearl interrupted.

“Says the woman sitting on her butt, safe and sound in the AGENCY!” Diamond growled, suddenly exasperated. “Of course, you’re not the one who has to deal with a pack of explosives rigged to an ice skater and a hyperventilating Lancy on her tail! I still can’t decide which one is more life-threatening!”

“Yo Styx, wanna hear a catfight?”

“CARTER!” Pearl and Diamond hissed at the same time.

“At your service, ladies.”

“Ah, a perfect triple lutz, triple toe-loop combo!” Lancy piped up behind Diamond. “Impeccable form, even in a life and death situation! She’s a legend!”

Diamond turned her attention to the rink, watching a drained Kim Yu-Na still skating her routine. “Pearl, are you any closer to finding Dr. Rough’s location? We’re running out of time here- Oh MY GOD!” she squealed, when Yu-Na barely caught her balance after another triple jump.

“Ha!” Pearl’s voice was heard on the other line. “This fake doctor thinks he’s rough and tough, but he’s still a pathetic amateur, though I have to admit, he’s pretty good with technology..”

“Which means?” Nick asked impatiently.

“Which means, he was smart enough to make it impossible to track him down through the broadcast, but amateur enough to forget his coffee cup in the background,” Pearl continued. “Duh, like he can be THAT good.”

“Coffee cup?” Diamond questioned, still keeping an eye on Kim Yu-Na.

“I managed to get a screenshot of him while he was talking, just in case. I noticed a coffee cup with some kind of a logo on it in the background, managed to zoom and clarify the image, and, voila, a huge lead on where you can find him. Nick, I’m sending the picture to your phone, the logo of the lodge he’s possibly staying at.”

“Alright, hold on a second.” Nick paused for a moment. “Cypress Mountain?”

“Exactly. It’s in West Vancouver. I’m forwarding you a map of the building, as well as the shortest way to reach it before it’s too late. There’s no parking at the venue, so you’ll have to hike a ways. I’d opt for the woods, if I were you. Easier to stay out of sight – knowing Rough, he’ll have the area under surveillance.”

“Alright, we’re on our way,” Nick said swiftly. “Oh, and Pearl? You’re a genius.”

“Tell me something I don’t know, Carter,” Pearl replied smugly.

Diamond rolled her eyes impatiently on the other line. “Well, no offence, Pearl, you know I heart you, sweetheart, but your brain isn’t worth a dime if we can’t stop this bomb before little Kimmy blows into bits. And, to be honest, I’m not in the mood for having human flesh anywhere around me.”

Pearl let out a chuckle before getting serious again. “Actually, Di, I don’t think I have good news for you. To say it the simplest, if Kim falls down, the bomb explodes. No brainer. You HAVE to make sure she doesn’t make any sudden moves or shake the bomb too hard-”

“Do you realize that we’re talking about a figure skater here?” Diamond raised her voice. “A figure skater who’s jumping up and down like a bunny half the time she’s on the ice!”

“Just make sure she doesn’t fall down, AT ALL COSTS.”

“Really bright, Pearl, thanks,” Diamond said sarcastically, before hanging up the phone furiously.

“Another salchow!” Lancy’s yelp distracted Diamond’s attention from watching Kim Yu-Na carefully. She had no idea what Lancy was talking about, but it wasn’t rocket science: if she lost her balance, even for a second, and fell down, they’d all explode into pieces. Simple as that.

“Lancy,” Diamond murmured, touching Lancy’s arm carefully and making sure he was listening her. When she made eye contact with him, she spoke slowly. “If Kimmy goes down, the bomb will explode. We have to get her off the rink before she even comes close to falling… Lancy?” Diamond shook Lancy’s arm harshly when she noticed his attention drifting back to Kim Yu-Na.

“She won’t be able to make the next jump,” Lancy spoke almost in a whisper. Diamond followed his gaze to the skater, who was speeding up backwards. “She’ll try the triple axel! It’s the hardest jump!”

Before Diamond could open her mouth to protest, Lancy rescued his arm from her grip and threw himself onto the skating rink.

“Lancy!”

The next few seconds went in slow motion for Diamond: Kim Yu-Na, jumping up into the air… Lancy, sliding across the rink clumsily, trying to estimate the exact position in which to play himself to catch Yu-Na on time.

“Gotcha!” Lancy shrieked happily, as he caught Yu-Na by her waist in mid air.

“Thank… thank you!” a breathless Yu-Na replied, stuttering. “I wouldn’t have landed properly if you haven’t caught me…”

“Oh doll, no worries,” Lancy replied sheepishly, as he lowered the petite skater gently to the ice to stand on her feet. “You’d have gotten top marks for that jump if you were competing, believe me.”

Kim Yu-Na blushed and smiled shyly. “You saved my life, sir. Thank you. “

“Shh, don’t even mention it. Let’s get you somewhere safe and warm, darling. You definitely deserve some hot cocoa. Did I tell you gold looks fabulous on you? Totally brings out your eyes,” Lancy blabbed, leading her toward the kiss and cry area at one side of the rink. “By the way, I’m Lancy, your biggest fan! Mind signing my t-shirt?”


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