I heard them call my name, but choose to ignore it.
I felt them give me a light shake, but again I choose to ignore it as I snuggled back into Brian’s cream sweater that I was using as a pillow. It was so warm and soft and I knew that it wouldn’t take me long to drift back into the lovely slumber that I wanted, no needed.
The final straw was when I felt them stick their wet finger, or what I prayed was a wet finger, into my ear. It was slimy and cold and I wanted to smack whoever the finger belonged to.
“Fuck off I’m trying to sleep,” I grumbled opening one eye expecting to see Howie with a shit eating grin on his face but instead it was Josh with a panicked look on his face.
“Where the hell have you been? We’ve been searching everywhere,” he said frantically as he began pulling at my arm, making me involuntarily shift from my position on the chocolate brown, over stuffed leather couch. Couch? I never fell asleep on no couch, it was a van, I distinctly remember it being a van, then again maybe I did stumble in here after we got back and was so dog tired I just dozed off again.
“What? I’ve been here the whole time,” I yawned following him through the maze of what I presumed to be the backstage area but then again it just looked too plush to be backstage at a venue. The walls were lined with what looked like shag carpet, if only I could attach myself to the wall, I bet it would be so comfy to sleep against. I was just about to verbalise my thoughts to Josh when I realised that he wasn’t there, I looked from side to side but there were no doorways, he couldn’t have walked behind me, I would have seen that and as I gazed down the narrow, incredibly long, low lit hallway I knew there was no way he could have made it to the end without sprinting, even if he had I probably would have still been able to see him. I frowned to myself as I slowly and warily made my way towards the doorway at the end but I soon realised that it wasn’t getting any closer, even when I picked up the pace it seemed to be making little progress and when I found myself out of breath from sprinting I stopped and leant up against the wall to catch my breath.
That was when I heard it. I looked around in the hopes of seeing someone but the hallway was as empty as the socialite tramps head that I used to date.
“PST!” There it was again.
Who the hell was it?
I looked from one end of the corridor to the other, still no one, I looked in front of my, nothing and then I spun round making sure to take in all of my surroundings. The only person in the vicinity was myself but again I heard it.
“Psst! Up here!” The small, squeaky voice called. I looked up above my head to the no smoking sign, no it couldn’t….could it? Okay someone had to have spiked my drink or slipped me something earlier because there was no way that the cigarette was talking to me. I seemed to have sprouted arms and legs and even a little face and was waving furiously trying to get my attention. Well now it certainly had it.
“Huh?” Was all I could muster in my confusion.
“Your going the wrong way,” it almost yelled.
“What? I came from back there and the only door is in front of me but I can’t reach it,” I exclaimed, alright I was seriously in danger of loosing my mind, then again had I already lost it? I mean here I am talking to a friggin no smoking sign, there seriously cannot be that much more of my sanity to loose can there?
“Your not looking hard enough, turn right and walk straight,” it told me, pointing towards the opposite wall.
I took a deep breath in before I took the advice of the warning sign and closed my eyes as I headed towards the wall.
I felt someone poking me again, saying my name and I opened my eyes slowly coming face to face with Alex.
“We’re here,” he signalled as he climbed out of the van and I looked around taking in my surroundings for a few seconds. “You okay?” He asked when he realised I had made no attempt at following him.
“Weird dream,” I said through a yawn as I shrugged my achy shoulders and made my way out of the vehicle frowning in confusion when I realised who was waiting at the door to the hotel. I edged my way closer, it couldn’t be could it? I watched as Alex, Brian and Howie all seemed to walk passed him as if they didn’t recognise him, how could they not it hadn’t been that long since we had seen him, and hell I had been the most pissed off that he had left so they couldn’t be ignoring him because of that.
“Kev?” I asked unsurely as I neared him.
“Wassup Buddy?” He grinned as he pulled me in a big bear hug and it took me a few seconds to respond but eventually I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed back.
“What are you doing here?” I asked excitedly as we pulled apart my own smile mirroring his.
“What I can’t come out to catch my brothers in a show?” He asked feigning being hurt.
“Well no of course you can but why here? I mean Moscow is a long way to come,” I tried to rationalise as we walked into the bar of the hotel, only it wasn’t the bar it seemed to be set out like a nursery, the walls painted a pastel blue, clouds dotted around every so often. The bar was selling bottled milk, the were jars of apple sauce and rusks as snacks, the tables were of the changing variety and all the chairs rockers.
Yet no one seemed to be batting an eyelid.
This was just weird.
“Never been before,” he shrugged. “Oh check it out, I brought Mason with me, your not going to believe how much he’s grown,” he gushed as he pulled the eight month old out of his jeans pocket, now that definitely wasn’t right but then when I looked at Mason I was even more shocked, surely…no I knew Kevin was hairy but the just wasn’t normal. “What’s wrong Nick?” He asked concerned when he spotted the shocked expression on my face.
“Kev he has a full grown beard,” I whispered not really knowing why, it wasn’t like Mason could understand me anyway.
“Yeah? He’s eight months Nicky all baby boys get a beard at this age, we shave it off when they reach a year, don’t you remember seeing photos from your beard shaving ceremony? That’s where you get your gold razor from, where your excepted into the brotherhood of men…” he said slowly eyeing me suspiciously.
“Your shitting me right?” I asked sceptically.
“Why would I do that?” He asked before shaking his head, “Anyway I have a more important reason to why I’m here. The dandelion is landing where the sun meets the stars,” he told me knowingly, searching deep into my eyes for a recognition of some sort?
Well I had no clue what he was going on about and he must have sensed it because his scary caterpillar brows knitted togther, his eyes grew a darker shade of green and his cheek twitched, a sure sign that all was not good in Kevin land. He looked down to his son in his arms and shared a knowing look and when Mason turned back to look at me his expression was the replica of his fathers. Having a bearded, scary ass looking eight moth old give you “THE STARE” is not fun, trust me on that one.
“You’re not Nick, You’re an impostor, what do we do with impostors Mason?” He asked.
“KILL THEM!” He squeaked and I was too shocked at his tiny voice to react to trigger that was pulled.
I felt myself gasp in shock as I bolted up right and hit my face on the chair in front, my heart was going ten to the dozen as I took in my surroundings, still in the van, Alex still sleeping soundly next to me, still travelling towards the hotel, still alive.
“You okay back there?” The driver asked.
“Yeah,” I chucked, “Just some crazy dream,” I explained shaking my head at the absurdity of it.
“Oh it wasn’t a dream Nicky!” Mason smiled evilly as he turned round from the front passenger seat sharing an evil laugh with his father.
“ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
