I strummed aimlessly on my guitar trying to rid the many depressing thoughts that floated around in my head. It didn’t seem to working very well, the dark, overcast Saturday morning that was seeping in through the window suiting my dismal mood perfectly. The sky was a deep shade of grey and the clouds threatened to spill the rain drops at any moment, almost like me and my tears, it was so frustrating because I was damn sure he wasn’t feeling the same way about me. Hell he was probably out living up the single life again, while I was left to question everything, left wondering why.
It had been just over two weeks since I found out and not from him either, I had to humiliation of seeing the photos on Myspace, posted by the slut he had apparently just received head off. Not that it mattered either way, I couldn’t stand to be with a cheater, I had seen what it had done to other friends and there was no way I was going to waste the best years of my life only to regret it later. It still hurt though. In actual fact it seemed like nothing was ever going to pull me out of my dark depressed pity party far one.
I had been angry, so angry in fact that I had managed to sneak into his apartment and get my revenge. I didn’t damage anything, didn’t steal anything no I’m not that stupid he wouldn’t be able to press criminal charges against anything that I did but it would still piss him off. You see Dylan Jones is a bit of a neat freak, likes things in order so what better way to mess with him then change all the C.D’s into the DVD cases and vice versa? How frustrated would he be when he realised that none of his socks matched? Pretty angry I can tell you, I was only sorry I wasn’t there to see the look on his face. It had felt good for a while but that feeling had soon worn off and the three pints of Ben and Jerry’s I devoured only ended up making me want to barf everywhere.
I placed the guitar on the couch beside me as I grabbed for the remote control, blindly flicking from channel to channel not really knowing what I was searching for. The news? Nope that would just be a way to get more depressed. Beaches? God that film was such a downer at the end. Hmmm Ricki Lake…My boyfriend is really a women and is also the half sister I never knew I had. Now there was an intriguing programme and a life that actually seemed more depressing then mine…there might still be hope!
I watched as the tale unfolded but it didn’t hold my attention for as long as I hoped it would and soon I was relating (don’t ask me how) to the women who told the tale of deceit and betrayal. I just needed to get him out of my head and after a frustrated sigh I angrily picked up the remote and switched the TV off, plunging me into silence again. I grabbed the acoustic guitar and cleared space on the coffee table, sitting down on it when all of his crap was clear. I don’t know why but I can’t sit anywhere conventional when I write, it used to drive my mother insane. My favourite place to write as a teenager had been the roof, I would climb out of the bedroom window and sit there for hours, she was so paranoid that I was going to fall off, even threatened to put bars at my window if I didn’t stop.
She didn’t and to this day when I’m home whenever she can't find me all she does is take a wonder up to the end of the garden and shout to me to be careful.
***
It had only taken an hour but I had the majority of the song and I started strumming again, singing the first verse quietly, so I wouldn’t disturb sleeping beauty in the next room, even though it was almost one o’clock in the afternoon.
“Seven hours since you went away,
Eleven coffees, Ricky Lake on play
But late at night when I’m feelin’ blue
I’ll sell my ass before I think of you.”
I heard a creak and looked towards the door where Nick was standing, hair dishevelled from sleeping, his t-shirt and boxers in creases the sunglasses covering his eyes a dead give away of what he was suffering from. I wanted to snicker but I knew with him I would only regret it later when I was in his position. He was like an elephant who never forgot with stuff like that, if he could seek revenge he’d remember but ask him what hotel room he was in, or what city for that matter and all you would receive was a blank stare.
“You know it’s rude to eavesdrop don’t you?”
He only grunted in response and fell into the couch beside me rubbing his eyes and sighing. “Head hurting?” I asked and he nodded slowly, quite clearly trying to avoid too much movement in fear of his brain rebounding off his skull causing more pain. “Well don’t expect any sympathy from me; I had suffer the couch for you!” I laughed as he groaned, still trying to wake up.
“You could have slept in the bed with me,” he yawned, failing miserably at flirting.
“Yeah we all know how that ended up last time, and plus with your snoring? No thanks,” I laughed writing down the lyrics in my note book.
“I do not snore,” he replied indigently before he glanced over my shoulder and down at my notebook nosily “what are you working on?”
“You do to and what does it look like I’m doing, blondie?”
He choose to ignore my comments. “I like that lyric, sing it for me?” He asked, smiling up at me, a goofy sleepy grin that was one of the many things that I loved about him. No don’t go there, been there bought the t-shirt already, friends is good, friends is fine.
“Eleven hours on a brand new day,
I’m getting ready to go out and play,
It’s late at night; I’m caught in a groove,
I’ll kiss my ass before I’m feelin’ blue,
Seven hours what you callin’ for?
A bunch of flowers and I’ll slam the door,
You’re in my face sorry what’s your name?
Takes more than begging to reverse my brain.”
“Why you don’t sing is beyond me, Will.”
“Oh stop it, we’ve been through this and you’re starting to sound like my Dad, I don’t sing I write.” How many times did I have to go through this with people? I was not a singer, sure my voice didn’t totally suck, yes I could hold a decent enough note, yeah I loved to sing. But in the shower by myself was enough of an audience for me, there was no way I was going to sing in front of a room full of ten people let alone a stadium full of thousands, I just did not have the confidence in myself to do that. No I would write the songs and watch other people sing them from the sidelines.
He was looking at me intently, god his eyes were blue today, almost as blue as when we…I just about manage to pull myself from the erotic memory before I totally embarrassed myself. God it was well over a year ago, he probably didn’t even think about it anymore, he had enough groupies to satisfy his needs he didn’t need little ole me with all my emotional baggage and I certainly didn’t need his at the moment. Maybe agreeing to this had been a mistake, maybe I shouldn’t of come, but if I wasn’t here then I’d be at home moping about the ass wipe who cheated on me…And now I was back to thinking about him just fucking great!
“You still there tree?” He asked a smirk crossing his face when he realised I must have zoned out on him.
“Hmm? Oh sorry,” I replied lightly guiding my fingers over the strings.
“Not thinking of the asshole again are you?” He said rubbing my arm with a frown.
“A bit, but obviously this song is about him, so it’s nearly out of my system, its just missing something,” I sighed
“Well let’s have a lookie shall we?” he said as he pulled the notebook from me and after a few seconds he took of his sunglasses revealing his tired bloodshot eyes.
“What’s the matter Nicky? Can't read with em on?” I joked and he just stuck his tongue out at me “It needs a bridge,” he told me after about a minute. He was obviously singing it in his head and he began to bob a bit, making me smile.
“Why do cry –y-y?
For the guy-y-y
Say goodby-y-y
Walk away now,” he sang lightly.
“Thanks Nicky,” she whispered, but she looked away quickly trying to conceal the tears in her eyes. I knew it would take her a while to cry, she always tried to hide her emotions, tried to prove that she was strong, that nothing hurt her she was a lot like me in that respect. I tried to protect myself from others if they didn’t know then they couldn’t think I was weak, they wouldn’t be able to use it against me later, I knew it was stupid but when your emotions had been used against you in the past it was something you had to do. She needed this though, she needed to cry about this jerk, as much as she didn’t want to I think she needed the closure.
When she had first called me she had been so pissed off, more angry then upset but I could hear the faint sound of rejection in her voice and knew that she needed a friend. Autumn was away travelling in some distant remote part of the world and although she wouldn’t have minded Willow joining her I knew there was no way she could afford it. When I offered to fly her our so she could come and stay with me she had refused, firstly giving the excuse that she couldn’t afford it, then when I said I would pay she told me that I shouldn’t waste my money on her. After three attempts she finally caved but it had only been when I offered her a job. It seemed like the perfect solution, Alisha came to me, saying that although she loved the touring she felt like she needed to concentrate on sorting her wedding out, that she was missing Matt too much and as soon as I could find another bass player she wanted to leave. Any other time and it would have left me totally pissed off but I found myself happy that she wanted to leave and wasted no time at all in calling Willow. She had been my first choice after all, but she had stayed behind because of the dick head.
I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to me; she didn’t protest and snuggled into my shoulder with a sigh.
“I thought we talked about this? He’s an ass, a big jerk, you deserve better.”
“I know, I just wish I would have figured that out before, thanks for inviting me along this is just what I needed,” She said lightly.
“No probs tree,” I said calling her by the nickname I had bestowed on her so long ago, “ it’s nice having a girl around I mean who else is gona’ pick up after me?” I joked and she smacked my arm in response.
“So this is what this is huh? Some ploy to have someone to pick up after your messy ass, I should just leave now and damn you to a life of messy hotel rooms,” she tried to keep a straight face but it broke into a huge grin that always made me smile. “So what are you going to do with your afternoon off, now that you have wasted the entire morning?”
“Chill I think, store up my energy for going out again tonight and you’re coming out tonight too” she tried to protest but I covered her mouth with my hand, “Uh Uh no excuses, you’re coming out and that’s final, ewwww,” I pulled my hand away after she licked it. Smiling up at me she giggled, her blonde fringe framing her pretty green eyes, she held my stare and I knew she felt what I felt. It was just to raw at the moment though, she needed time to get over Dylan, I did not want to be rebound guy.
“Ok fine but I refuse to sleep here again, you can suffocate in your vomit tonight and no tequila,” she said sternly.
Song Credit:
Hole in the head – Sugababes.
Story Notes:
This was posted a while back but I have decided to go back and rewrite it. This series will have a lot more detail, and be a lot better. PLease review to let me know what you think!
Chapter End Notes:
Let me know what you think!
