She woke early, so early in fact that the sun was only just creeping up from the crest of the earth. That small amount of light was enough to start the birds in their early morning serenade and she sighed as she pulled the pillow over her head to try and block the sound out. It wasn’t very successful, it was hot and stuffy under there, difficult to breath and she could still hear the cheerful chirps. She rolled over in a vain attempt to shield herself from the light that would be soon pouring through the window and that’s when he noticed the time on the clock.
The bright red neon numbers read 04:37 and she smiled at herself maybe it hadn’t been the birds that had awoken her. The same had happened the year before and as she watched the seven change to an eight she smiled, knowing that two years ago today she had heard Cooper’s shrill cry for the very first time, her baby was now officially two years old, no longer a baby now a toddler at that terrible twos stage.
She pulled herself up from the bed and pushed her feet into her slippers as she quietly made her way across the hall to his room. As always he was splayed out in his bed, one arm behind his head the other resting on his tummy, the pacifier in his mouth moving every now and then. She placed a kiss to her finger tips and gently placed them to his head full of dark hair knowing that today would be so bitter sweet for her just like it had been the past three times on this date. The first year she had been delighted that her baby had made it into the world safe and sound, she had spent the day marvelling at how perfect he was but in the back of her mind she knew that his father should have also been there but instead James was in Iraq, he didn’t even receive the message until a day later as he had been out on exercise. And last year? He had only been gone a month and she had hardly felt like celebrating but she knew she had to, after all Cooper would only have a first birthday once.
She sighed at her thoughts as she made her way downstairs, knowing full well that she wouldn’t get back to sleep now she had to many thoughts running around in her head so the best thing she could do was make sure that there were enough balloons ready for when Cooper woke up. She flicked on the coffee maker and peeled a banana before sitting at the table to read the left over news paper from yesterday.
She didn’t even realise she was crying until the ink on the page became blurred, she swiped at her eyes knowing that it was better to get this over with now, that way at least when Cooper saw her she wouldn’t be a blubbering mess. She didn’t want him to remember all his birthdays in that way, it wasn’t fair, it was supposed to be a happy day, his day, she had the rest of the year to mourn. She remembered last year and how in all the pictures that she had her eyes were red rimmed and puffy, a dead give away of how she had been feeling. Well she had vowed to herself that it wasn’t going to happen again, sure it was okay to get upset but she couldn’t let it take over the entire day.
She wiped at her eyes again for good measure when she heard her Mother’s soft foot steps making their way towards the kitchen.
“Caity?” She asked.
“Did I wake you?” She asked turning to Ann throwing her a small smile.
“No. How come you’re up so early?” She questioned as she poured herself a cup of coffee before making her way to the table to sit opposite her daughter.
“I just did,” she shrugged as she ran her finger tip around the rim of her own cup. “He’s officially two now,” she said with a smile.
Ann mirrored it with her own, “You wake up around that time?” She asked knowingly, making Caitlyn nod. “I used to do that with Jerry, until Tim came along anyway then I enjoyed the small amount of sleep that I got. You had the ritual cry?”
“How did you know?” Caitlyn asked.
“I’m your Mom and you seem to forget I’ve also been what you’ve been through,” she said before taking a sip.
“Does it get easier Mom? Am I always going to feel like this at special times in his life?” She questioned.
“It’s still really fresh Cait, I know it still hurts and I want to tell you that yes it gets easier, that after a while it doesn’t hurt as much but I would be lying. You’re Dad has been gone fourteen years now and on each of your birthdays I still cry, I still think about him, I set aside half an hour to be sad and to wallow in it and then I make myself stop and enjoy the rest of the day. It’s okay to think about him, to think about all the things that he has missed out on in the past year of Cooper’s life but you can’t let it rule you,” she said offering a small smile.
“I know that Mama, that’s why I’m doing this now. I don’t want it to be like last year. I still can’t believe that he’s two it seems like yesterday when I held him for the first time, he was so tiny,” she said smiling at the memory.
“Nine pounds is not tiny,” Ann reminded.
“He’s my chunky boy. I think I’m going to take a bath,” she said as she got up and left the table, heading in the direction of the bathroom.
***
She watched as his face lit up when the she carried in the parcel that had just been delivered from Fed Ex. At first she was confused it was addressed to Cooper but she knew that it couldn’t be from Kevin or Brian as he had already received their gifts. All of James’s family had given him his presents early just before the move so she knew it wouldn’t be from them either.
She shook of the confusion as she sat on the floor in the living room beckoning Cooper over to her so he could tear into the wrapped packet, pulling out a neatly wrapped present the paper covered in The Incredible’s family. As soon as she saw that she knew who it was from and she found herself touched that he remembered. Then again when she thought back to the four days he had spent with them, he was always ready to occupy Cooper, to keep him entertained, even if it just meant sitting and watching his favourite film yet again. Although on some occasions she was sure that he had just put the film on to occupy himself.
She oeed when Cooper finally tore into the paper and pulled out the entire Incredible’s family in beanie toy form knowing that it was definitely from him, smiling when she remembered his own beanie craze when they had been together.
“Wow look at that aren’t you a lucky boy,” she said balling the discarded paper so she could throw it away and grabbed the packet that it came in, noticing the card inside, she pulled it out and began to read his scrawled message.
“Happy second birthday little dude,
Lots of love
Nick
Xxx”
“Who’s that from?” Her Mom asked when she made her way into the living room.
“Nick, I didn’t think he would remember,” she said as she pushed herself up from the floor with a smile.
“He’s a sweet boy, are you almost ready to go?” She asked as she slipped into her shoes and picked up her Grandson.
“Yeah I just need my purse, I’ll meet you in the car,” she said as she headed towards her room to retirve her purse, rummaging around inside it for her cell phone. Finding it she contemplated calling him but they were already slightly late and knowing her she would call at the least opportune time getting him in trouble with Kevin if his phone went because he had forgotten to turn it off.
She quickly typed, Thanks for my presents love Cooper X and hit the send button before she climbed into the car and got so engrossed with listening to the nursery rymes that were playing she didn’t even realsie her cell phone was ringing.
“Is that your phone Cait?” Her Mother asked glancing from the road to her daughters purse.
“Yeah,” she realised as she rummaged around for it, smiling when she saw who was calling.
“Hello?”
“I thought this was Cooper’s phone? I just got a txt from him,” He said making her smile a bit more.
“Oh this is his PA he’s a bit too busy drinking his juice and playing with Elatigirl to answer his calls, can I take a message?” She played along making him laugh slightly.
“Oh he’s on the juice, man is he sure going to regret that when he can’t find the potty later. Did he like them?” He asked her.
“Yeah he did, we literally just got them you didn’t have to do that,” she told him.
“Why not? It’s his birthday, birthdays mean presents did you not know that?” He asked.
“No I must have missed that memo!” she sarcastically added. “How’s the tour going?”
“Yeah good…I mean your brother hasn’t killed me yet but I think Kris has a lot to do with that, I think I owe my life to that women,” he told her in all honesty making Caitlyn really laugh in the car.
“Yeah I think I do too because when we told him about us I think he would have murdered both of us if she hadn’t been there to tell him to chill the fuck out,” she giggled stopping quickly when her Mother shot her a look for swearing.
“Oh man that was too funny, I don’t think I have ever heard Kris yell at him like she did. She misses you, you should come out when she’s here I think she would like that,” he told her.
“Yeah I should, I haven’t seen her in a while. So how is everyone else? The tour as quiet as you thought it would be what with the child and sober one?”
“Actually it’s been good, Me and Howie have reconnected.”
“So you have finally bonded?” She asked.
“I wouldn’t say bonded, well actually I don’t think he would put it that way, he is probably thinking why oh why did I invite Nick out on that second night? He got soooo drunk on shots that he was puking for about two days after and every time we go out now he is always explicit in reminding me not to buy him shots.”
“You still do though don’t you?” She said knowingly.
“Of course, he blames me but he is the one pouring them down his neck it’s not like I point a gun to his head or anything,” he informed her making her laugh at the image that popped into her head.
“Life on the road huh?”
“You know you miss it.”
“Yeah all the early call times, the disgusting sweaty smell of your bus, the arguments at sound check who wouldn’t miss that?” She joked.
“Don’t forget Kevin ragging on your ass, it’s not a tour unless he is doing that,” he reminded.
“Is he still in that mood?” She asked concerned.
“Nah not so much now. He chilled once Kris turned up but she’s leaving day after tomorrow for two weeks so I am planning on staying out of his way. Look I have to go, almost time for sound check. Say Happy Birthday to Coop for me and tell everyone hi.”
“Will do. Thanks again for his presents,” she smiled.
“No problem. Talk to you soon C.”
“Bye,” she said not missing the look her Mother threw her as she hung up, “What?”
“Nothing,” Ann replied quickly indicating left so she could turn down Tim’s street.
“That was not a nothing look, it was the all knowing Mother look.”
“He still likes you,” she said surely as she slowed the car to a stop outside her sons house.
“I should hope so, he is my friend,” Caitlyn tried to play off.
“I’m talking about the other way, I saw the way he was looking at you when he was here, the way he was with Cooper and the way you were with him-”
“What way I was with him?” Caitlyn asked her voice raising by a decibel.
“Just the way you would laugh and joke with him, that chats you would have, sitting on the porch swing hugging,” Ann said knowingly raising her eyebrows.
“You were spying on us?” Caitlyn asked more then pissed off at her Mom’s behaviour, it was such an invasion of privacy, made her feel like she had been back at middle school and her Mom and brothers felt the need to watch from the window. Then again why was she getting to defensive when nothing happened? When the hug had been totally innocent and platonic?
“No I was closing the curtains and saw you.”
“It was nothing just a hug, friends can hug can’t they?”
“I never said you couldn’t, you’re the one who is getting defensive,” she pointed out.
“No I’m not.”
“It’s okay to still have feelings for Him Cait, you two were together for a long time,” her Mom tried.
“Two years isn’t a long time,” she said quickly.
“It’s okay to move on.”
“It wouldn’t be moving on it would be going backwards,” Cait pointed out.
Ann sighed at her daughter before adding, “I don’t know why you two didn’t last, you really suited each other.”
If she only knew the truth but she never could, she would never understand and there was no way in the world that anyone would know the true reason that tore Caitlyn and Nick apart except for the couple themselves.
Author's Chapter Notes:
It's Cooper's second birthday
Chapter End Notes:
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