Brian lay in his hospital bed, his eyes shut, his wounds aching. They'd finally moved him to a room of his own... a room with a view and a tv and a telephone where he'd spent hours on the phone letting his family know that he was okay. The first person he'd called had been his wife. The conversation had been uncomfortable at best, and heartbreaking. He'd never realized the kind of pain a person could go through stuck in the 'not knowing'...

"Hello," She'd said when she'd finally answered the phone after the fourth or fifth ring.

"Leigh?" His voice was shaky, tears trickling down his cheeks. His heart was pounding in his chest, his lungs fighting to breathe in the air at a steady pace. He had no idea why he was panicking, but he was.

"Oh my God! Brian?? Oh my God! Is it really you? Please God tell me it's you and that you're okay!" He could hear the worry in her voice, the fear, the exhaustion and the frustration. He knew she'd seen the news and heard the stories. What had they been saying? What horrible things she been hearing?

"It's me baby," he whispered as the tears fell faster, "... I'm okay."

He listened as she broke down on the other end of the phone. Her sobs filling his ear through the receiver... his own sobs following right behind.

"I was so worried Bri. They said on the news... they... I was so worried." She couldn't get the words out. What had they said?

"What'd they say hon?" He asked with a sigh, "what kind of bullshit are the telling everyone?"

"Brian," she responded with a concerned voice, "you don't need to worry about it... all that matters is you're okay."

He shook his head, "No Leigh... what are they saying?"

And in the following minutes the conversation turned from one of happiness and relief to one of anger and frustration. The news stories were saying that a homocide had occured at the hotel of the Backstreet Boys and that what was known so far was that the boys were involved. The media believed that one of the boys was dead and that Brian was critically injured. Reports weren't being released as to who the deceased may be, but it was also believed that the other guys were being regarded as suspects.

How dare they? They'd obviously missed the first ambulance taking Aj to the hospital and they'd seen Brian taken out and the body loaded into the coroner's van at approximately the same time. The media was making broad assumptions that had no basis whatsoever in reality. It pissed Brian off. He'd informed Leighanne what had really happened and she was in the process of booking the next flight to New York. He'd called his mom and dad in Kentucky and once again tearfully let them know that he was okay and then thankfully the nurse had given him a sedative and some pain pills to help him rest for a little while.

"Rest and try to stop thinking about things," she'd said as she hooked the new bag of medication to his IV pole.

Like that was going to happen.

Brian opened his eyes when he heard the door to his room click open. He figured it would be another doctor or nurse to give him the once over, check his temperature and inflict more pain. He was shocked to look up and find Howie and Nick standing in his doorway. Shocked and elated. Thank God.

He took in the faces of two of his best friends in the world and couldn't help but wonder what all they had been through. It had only been hours since everything had happened.. but it felt more like days. Howie looked tired, but focused and his usually pristine hair was a complete mess. He looked older than he had the day before... he looked in dire need of a bed to lay his head on. Nick looked tired too and lost. His eyes were bloodshot, his cheeks tear stained. Brian knew from experience that Nick had always been the emotional one in the group... this had to be breaking his heart. He couldn't help but notice that the usually smiling faces of both men now showed little emotion. They were more like blank stares... stares of exhaustion and he knew that regardless of showing no emotion... they showed it all.

He tried to speak but the words would not come. He laid there in his bed and stared at the two of them as the tears stung his eyes and rolled endlessly down his cheeks. As if noticing this the two of them came quickly to either side of the bed and sat down there, taking his hands in their own. They sat there for a long time in the type of silence that speaks volumes louder than any words could ever say. No one spoke. No one wanted to be the first to speak. Everyone was afraid of breaking the damn held up by the eerie calm.

It was Brian who finally took the plunge, "Have you called your families yet?" He asked as the two guys looked towards him.

They both nodded in response but didn't speak. Howie had spent the entire 30 minute ride to the hospital on the phone with his wife and sister. He'd talked, he'd cried, he'd told them both how much he loved them. Leigh was the furthest away from this all, she was way out in California and they all knew it would take her a while to get there. Howie had told her not to rush and she had told him she was just thankful that he was okay. Nick had turned his phone off after calling the only person he really cared to talk to. His brother Aaron. He'd spoken to him briefly, short sentences, "I'm okay." "I love you." And that was that. He'd changed his voicemail to let anyone else who dared call know that he was okay and he'd clicked the off button. He wanted to be alone in this world right now... just him and his thoughts and his friends. No one would understand what they'd been through but them and he didn't care to share it with the world.

"They're going to call a press conference shortly," Howie finally murmured after the silence had continued too long. "They're going to set the facts straight... let everyone know who's okay and who died... let everyone know there's a killer on the loose." He frowned when he said it and turned towards the door, thankful for a brief moment that there were guards surrounding their room.

"Anyone heard anything about Aj?" Brain asked as he shifted uneasily in his bed.

Howie and Nick shook their heads. "They brought us here first," Nick replied, "said we couldn't see Aj right now... said his mom was on her way."

Brian sighed. At least they'd gotten through to his mom. He'd tried several times throughout the day to do it himself. He thought that maybe hearing the news from someone she knew would be better than hearing it from some random hospital employee or police officer, but her phone had stayed busy.

They flipped on the television to watch the latest news as the silence settled once more. The press conference was over now... the new headlines; "Backstreet Boys Tragedy: Tour Manager Dead, Brian Littrell and Aj McLean hospitalized for unknown injuries, Suspect still at large." There were scenes of the coroner's van that made Nick turn away in agony. Scene's of Brian being wheeled out on a stretcher that he couldn't watch and the latest scenes were of Nick and Howie being taken away in the police car to visit with their friends... "Backstreet's Howie and Nick escorted to the hospital -- The two men are no longer considered suspects."

What sickened Nick to his very core was that they ever were.