Howie paced back and forth across the narrow floor of the private waiting area. What was taking so long? Shouldn't they know something by now? Shouldn't they at least know enough to come in here and tell them that everything was going to be okay?

He tred the tiles of the room once more before stopping long enough to reach out and place his hand on the shoulder of his best friend's mother.

"Denise," he whispered, and she slowly lifted her face from where she'd had it hidden behind her hands and nodded at him to let him know that she was still there. Not only physically, but mentally and emotionally too. Howie didn't know how she was holding up, how she could possibly be holding up... but he wasn't about to leave her side. He remembered all the year's of watching his sister go through hell before she'd finally succumbed to her battle with Lupus... but he did remember how everytime things had gotten bad his family had pulled together and been there for each other.

He was all Denise had... at least right now, in this unfamiliar city without her family... without her Aj.

He sat down beside her in one of the stiff plastic chairs that only a moron could have designed, knowing sometimes family members waited hours and hours to find out the fate of their loved ones. He bounced his knee nervously and bit his bottom lip. He rubbed his hands together and prayed for a miracle. He felt her warm hand slip into his and he bit down hard to keep from crying.

"He'll be okay," she whispered... "He'll be okay."

And Howie didn't really know who Denise's words were meant to comfort more -- him or her -- but they worked, at least a little. He breathed in a deep breath and tried not to think about all of the bad things that could happen. What he really wanted, more than anything in the world, was to go back to a few days before and relive the memories of releasing a brand new record and starting a brand new tour and feeling, brand new again.

His thoughts were interrupted by the clicking sound of the door handle across from them. And in the briefest of moments that occurred between when he heard that handle jiggle and when the door finally swung open, a thousand thoughts raced through his mind. Thoughts of the past... of that morning... of the future. And his heart soared and it sank with the "what ifs" and "what if nots". And his mind was an endless jumble of emotions he couldn't express.

But the second he saw the doctor he knew.

"Ms. McLean?" The older man whispered as he stepped inside and closed the door behind himself.

And Howie knew before the doctor even spoke that the news wasn't going to be good. He had experience in this department, enough to know that when a doctor comes solemnly into the room, his voice quiet, his head bowed to the floor, that things hadn't gone as planned. That your life was about to change forever and probably not in any kind of a good way. Doctors didn't like to give bad news. They loved to give good news, but bad news was something they'd rather pass off to the nurses, or their attendings, or their interns. So when the honest-to-God doctor walked in the room and removed his surgical hat and held it between his fists... Howie knew. And he looked away, because this was something he couldn't watch.

Aj's mom lifted her eyes to meet the doctor's and Howie felt the grip tighten on his hand. He wondered if she was as exprienced as he was in this type of thing... or if knowing this stuff just came naturally. He looked back up and watched as the doctor walked over and sat in the chair across from them, turning slowly towards where he was sitting before saying quietly, "I need to speak with Ms. McLean privately."

Howie didn't move though. He hardly breathed. He knew this was one of those moments in life where nothing would ever again be the same, and he wasn't about to leave Denise's side... not at least until she asked him to. He sat in silence and waited for her to speak as the doctor watched the both of them. After a few moments he went to stand. Maybe she was unsure about all of this. Maybe she didn't want Howie to have to hear what he knew the doctor was going to say. But even as his knees began to straighten he felt her there beside him pulling him back into the chair. The doctor noticed too... silent wishes being made for him to stay right where he was.

"Your son was brought in this morning with extensive injuries to his chest and abdomen," the doctor began.

Howie could feel his own heart breaking as the words exited the doctor's mouth. He could feel Denise stiffening beside him. He could hear her breaths becoming deeper... he could feel his own lungs struggling to breathe. 'Just say it'... was going through his mind as the doctor rambled on for a few more minutes about the extent of Aj's injuries and what they had tried to accomplish in the operating room. And then...

"We did everything we could to stabilize your son's injuries... but his heart was just not strong enough. I'm so sorry."

He felt Denise's hand release from his own as the sound of her sobs echoed through the room. He tried to reach out, to take hold of her before she lost it, but she fell to the floor in a puddle of exhausted, disheartened, distressed tears.

And just like that morning, before Howie could do anything to stop it... once again, his world came crashing down.