"You going to push that around all evening or actually eat some?" Howie asked around a mouthful.

"Not hungry," Kevin said, dropping his fork. He had to eat, he knew that, but he just couldn't gather the determination. Looking at the food, he couldn’t help wondering how something that smelled so wonderful could seem so totally unappetizing.

"You should eat.”

Zanell spoke. "You do need your strength, Kevin. We're making good time now, but soon we'll catch up to that ship and then things will be crazy. Better get your nourishment while you can."

Kevin sighed, then picked up his fork again and forced the first mouthful down. The princess was right; it wasn't about wanting to eat, it was about needing to eat. So much for a pleasant meal. It was a good thing that the other three kept up the conversation, because the last thing Kevin wanted to do was chitchat. A soft chime sounded, marking the time. In five minutes, the strategy session would convene. Everyone finished and quickly cleaned up. AJ, who was currently on duty at the helm, put the ship on autopilot and joined everyone at the gathering. He and Kevin never made eye contact during the meeting, something that Kevin was sort of grateful for.

He didn’t really didn't have a lot to contribute, in hindsight. Strategy hadn't been on his mind for years, at least not this kind. Still, he listened carefully and asked some pointed questions. By the time it was over, Kevin had a solid idea of what they needed to do. AJ went back to piloting, not bothering to speak to him the entire time. Ok by me.

Kevin noticed Zanell leaving the room and stopped her for a second. It took several starts before he could finally say what he wanted.

“You estimate we'll catch up to that ship within the next 20 hours.”

"Yes," she answered. "If that's indeed the right ship."

What a way to keep our hopes up, your highness. "I don't go on for piloting duty until... 12 hours from now, right?"

"Right.”

"Well, I was wondering... I mean, I need to know if you could..." He hated the hesitation in his voice. It was only a question. "Can you give me something to make me sleep, without dreaming, for the next 8 hours?"

She considered his words. "I guessed that you'd been having nightmares. Am I correct?"

"Yeah," he mumbled.

"You look terrible, Kevin. Why didn't you say something before?"

"I thought that I could just ignore them. That eventually I'd be so exhausted I'd just fall deeply asleep and not have to worry about it."

She chewed on her bottom lip. "But that hasn't happened."

"No."

"Yes, I can give you something to help. But maybe talking about your dreams would be better-"

"Forget it," Kevin said at once. "I know what they're about. I just want you to give me something to sleep."

"Okay," she said, reluctantly. "If we weren't so close to going into action, I would have refused. But we'll need you to be alert and aware. Come on, it's in Sick Bay."

Whatever was in that shot, it worked like a charm. Kevin would never remember hitting the pillow, much less seeing Zanell leave the cabin. Thankfully, as promised, he slept without dreaming for the first time in what seemed like forever. He woke hours later, feeling more rested than he had been in a long time. He stayed in bed a while longer, savoring the feeling of having enough energy to face almost anything. But sooner or later, he knew he had to get up. Sighing, he slid out of bed, stretched, and then headed back to the others.

Knowing it would be Nick's turn at piloting, he went to the bridge. The blond turned around when Kevin entered and studied him for a second.

"Got some rest, huh?"

Kevin nodded. "Whatever Zanell gave me did the trick just fine."

He blinked. "Zanell had to give you something? Why?"

Kevin could’ve kicked himself. "I just wanted to get some, well, really solid sleep before we make the encounter."

"No," Nick said, "I meant why did you need help sleeping?"

The kid had grown up, for sure. Kevin could no longer accuse him of being clueless.

"I haven't been sleeping well," he said, hoping his friend would let it drop.

From the look on his face, Nick wasn't happy with Kevin’s answer, but he actually accepted it without further question.

"Ah, anything new on the scopes?"

"Not really. We’re still picking up the signature trail that Zanell found, so I think we're on the right track. The readings are stronger, which she said means they're more recent."

"So, we should be coming up on the ship soon."

"That's the theory."

Kevin paused. "Do you think we're ready?" he asked quietly.

Nick gave a small shrug. "Does it matter if we're ready? We don't have any choice. We'll just have to do what we can do. Besides," he cracked a grin; "we've got you now. How bad could it be?"

"Let's just keep hoping for the best," Kevin said, returning his grin.

He left Nick to his job and wondered what to do next. He had four hours to go before his shift; perhaps something to eat would be a good idea. He was heating up some soup when Howie walked into the kitchen. He nodded in greeting and set about making himself a cup of tea. When he was done, he took a sip, and then finally spoke.

"You look better."

"I got some sleep," Kevin replied simply.

"Good."

There was an awkward silence that came between them; Kevin just didn't know what to say. Taking his bowl to the small table, he sat down and began eating. He thought Howie would just leave, but instead he pulled up the chair across from him.

"He didn't really mean it," he said after a while.

"Who?"

"AJ. He doesn't really hate you, Kev."

"Peacemaking again?"

He shook his head. "No. Just telling you what I know. He's hurting. Give him a chance."

“Give him a chance?" Kevin echoed, eyebrows arching high. "He's done nothing but snipe at me since I arrived. He's made it clear that I am not wanted or valued. He's done nothing but put me down and you want me to give him some kind of a chance?”

"You don't understand-"

"You know it's true, Howard,” Kevin replied bitterly. “And no, I don't understand. I'm not the one who has to make a change. He should be able to deal with it. After all, I'm only here for the shortest time possible."

He started to say something, but Kevin cut him off. "Don't. Please. This is all hard enough."

After a moment, Howie nodded and got to his feet. "I'll leave you be for a while."

Kevin could see in the brown eyes that he’d had hurt his old comrade, but he was almost too frustrated to care. Give AJ a chance when he won't give me one? His previous good mood evaporated, Kevin had to force the rest of the soup down. He sat for a while, head in his hands, hoping that he could get a handle on it all. A wave of homesickness hit him suddenly, and he withdrew the small packet that he had stuck in his shirt pocket before he left home. Carefully he unwrapped the photo within, regarding the image of his beloved wife and children. He gently traced over Kristin's image with a slightly shaking finger. His entire body ached near to the breaking point with loneliness.

He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking up, he saw Zanell's gentle smile.

"I know you miss them," she said, regarding the photo.

"More than I can say," Kevin managed to reply.

"It's going to be all right," she said. "Soon we'll have Brian back, and you'll be able to go home again."

Kevin wondered about that. Could he ever go back to the way it had been? Would he even be given a choice? And if he were, what would he decide? He put the photo back without comment. "Do you happen to know where AJ is at the moment?"

"He's in his cabin, resting."

Kevin simply nodded. He'd have to deal with the situation when they got to the ship that had taken Brian. He glanced at his watch; three-and-a-half hours until his shift. He opted to head to the data library. There he could read up on the more subtle capabilities of the ship, look at maps of the quadrant in space they were approaching, and try to gain as much knowledge as he could for the upcoming battle.

Time must have passed more quickly than he’d expected, because suddenly Howie stood in the doorway telling him to head to the bridge for his shift. He met AJ leaving his room. They watched each other in silence. To Kevin’s surprise, AJ suddenly looked away and headed off in the opposite direction. Kevin watched him go, then headed to the bridge to relieve Nick.