~ Chapter Thirty Three ~

Howie always read the paper first thing when he reached the clubhouse.  He didn't read the entire paper, of course, just the sports section, and if it was an especially slow day, the business section.  It was always more interesting to read the paper on the road, and see what other cities were saying about the team, and namely, Howie himself.  There wasn't a whole lot in the Times that day, just the usual recap of yesterdays game, which the Mariners had won 7-5 and a tiny little blurb about Brian.  That, however, was the kicker.  Howie didn't believe it.  There was no way something like that could end up in the paper without someone on the team knowing about it first.

This couldn't possibly be true.  Brian would have let them know before this.  That was the kind of person he was.  Last season, Brian had been one of the few players who even bothered to hang out with Howie in the middle of his defensive crisis.  Howie didn't blame the rest of the team for their lack of concern.  If it had been another player having the same problems, Howie knew he probably wouldn't offer to help.  That was what had impressed him about Brian.

Brian had been the only one who spoke up to the media about their constant picking on Howie, and had been the only one who had taken extra time out of his day and hit fungoes to Howie at third base.  The coaching staff had been there too, but that was different.  They had been getting paid to figure out how to get Howie to catch the ball again.  Brian had been there as a friend. 

"Wassup!"  Kevin greeted Howie as he came in the clubhouse door.  Howie raised one eyebrow in reply.  For Kevin, that was almost giddiness. 

"Not much."  Howie set the paper down.  Obviously the paper was wrong.  Kevin didn't seem to be acting like anything serious was happening.

The clubhouse door smacked open, smashing into the wall and ricocheting back into Nick's face as he stalked into the clubhouse.  Nick flung the door back again, then threw his equipment bag in the general direction of his locker.  It missed by a good twenty feet. 

"Having a good day?"  Kevin said cheerfully. 

"He's an a------."  Nick returned calmly, picking up his bag and slamming it into his locker.  "I wish he'd go call Braves games or something.  Then our paths wouldn't have reason to cross."

"Your dad?"  Howie guessed.

"Yeah, well..."  Kevin slipped back into lecture mode, something he was good at.  "Nick, you should be grateful you still have a father."

Nick stopped shoving at the equipment bag, and turned around to face Kevin.  "You want my Dad?  Take him."  He shoved at the bag one last time.

"Nick - it ain't gonna fit in there."  Kevin pointed out mildly.

"So what?"  Nick muttered, giving up and sprawling across his stool.  "Who cares?"

"Where's Brian?"  Kevin asked, leaving Nick alone for once. 

"Haven't seen him."  Howie shrugged.  "Kevin?  This stuff in the paper?  What's up with that?"  If anyone was going to know what was really going on, it was Kevin.  He and Brian were cousins.

"What stuff?"  Kevin reached for the section Howie was holding out to him, reading it slowly. 

"What's the big deal?'  Nick stopped stewing over his father and stood up to read over Kevin's shoulder. 

"I love New York!"  AJ yelled at the top of his lungs, almost skipping through the clubhouse door.  "I've got to figure out a way for the Yankees to sign me so I can go shopping every day."

"AJ, once you hit free agency, it's not like you're gonna have to beg anyone for a contract."  Brian pointed out, following him in the door. 

"Yeah, but you might want to be a Met."  Nick added.  "Yankees have a image thing.  You'd have to hide the tattoos and get rid of the facial hair and stuff." 

"Really?"  AJ said in shock, appalled at the idea of someone restricting his freedom of expression.  "They do that?  Isn't that illegal?"

"No facial hair, no long hair, no tattoos, no piercings..."  Nick ticked them off on his fingers. "You have to agree to that if you want the prestigious honor of being a Yankee."

"And the prestigious honor of getting your butt kicked by US!"  Brian added, taking on the role of cheerleader for a moment.

"That sucks."  AJ grumbled.  "What if I shaved my head?"

"You have to ask first."  Nick was perfectly serious. 

"Um, Bri?"  Kevin held up the newspaper.  "You seen the paper today, man?"

"Don't read it."  Brian shrugged.

"You might want to today."  Kevin threw it at him. "Where'd that come from?"

Brian stared down at the page, the color slowly draining from his face.  Howie started to get a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. 

Nick let go of AJ's hair as the two stopped wrestling and straightened up, silence falling over the clubhouse as everyone stared at Brian.  Half the team wasn't even aware of what was going on, but they could tell from the mood that something was seriously wrong.

"So where'd that come from?"  Kevin prompted again.

"I don't know."  Brian said finally, sinking down into the nearest chair.  "I don't know."

"Is it true?"  Howie had to confirm that.

Brian nodded, not meeting anyone's eyes.

"How long have you known this, Bri?"  Kevin said quietly.

"December."  Brian's voice was barely audible.  "Kevin..." he added, glancing up at his cousin.  "I can explain this."

"You can explain this?"  Kevin repeated, his voice growing angrier with each word.  "Explain what, Brian?  You've known about this for ten months and you never said a word to anyone?  Your parents don't even know!"

"I know that!"  Brian screamed back, standing up and stepping towards Kevin.  "This wasn't intentional, okay?"

"Sure."  Kevin snapped.  "If you had it your way, no one would know about it at all.  Until when, Brian?  Until you were in the hospital with a week to live? Or would you even bother then?"  Kevin was shouting now.

"Kevin..."  Brian pleaded.  "Listen to me..."

"No!"  Kevin yelled.  "It doesn't matter!  You should have told me months ago!  You should have told your parents months ago!  This isn't fair to any of us!  I already went through all of this once - I don't want to do it again!"

Brian flinched.  "I know."  He said quietly.

Kevin stood silent for a moment, his eyes glittering angrily.  Howie stepped forward, hoping to grab Kevin before the inevitable happened.  He was too late.  Kevin lunged for his cousin, knocking him to the ground with a left to the jaw. 

Howie started forward to grab Kevin, then stepped back, not wanting to get hurt.  Brian was fighting back just as hard as Kevin, but was getting the worse end of the deal.  Kevin was bigger and angrier than Brian. 

"Okay, that's enough!"  Terrance Davis announced, stepping into the middle of the fray and grabbing Kevin.  Davis was 6'4", 235 pounds.  He restrained Kevin fairly easily.  That didn't stop Kevin from struggling as Terrance pulled him away from Brian.  Brian didn't move, still sitting on the floor, holding the right side of his face with one hand, the same shocked look in his eyes that had appeared when Kevin had told him he didn't want to do this again.

"F--- you!"  Kevin screamed at Brian, his voice breaking on the last word, before shaking himself loose from Davis' grip and disappearing down the tunnel to the dugout. 

Davis started after him, until AJ grabbed his arm, holding him back.  "Leave him alone."

Nick knelt down on the floor next to Brian.  "You okay?"  He reached over and pulled Brian's hand away from his face.  "You're gonna have a shiner there."

Brian shoved Nick's hand away and climbed unsteadily to his feet, reaching up to feel the bruise forming along his right cheekbone.

"Brian..."  Nick started again.

"I'm okay."  Brian waved him back, then finally raised his eyes to the rest of the team, all of whom were still watching silently.  Howie wasn't one for showing emotion, but the look on Brian's face made tears spring into his eyes.  Brian looked hurt, confused and above all, very very alone.