~ Chapter Forty Two ~

Stacy shifted in her seat, crossing her left leg over her right.  Things had gone along smoothly for the most part, Jane had done most of the talking, sticking to basic, safe topics like Stacy's family, her career, growing up in India and Nick's childhood.  But, soon enough, as was expected, the talk around the small table changed to baseball. 

It started off general, then the tension level started to rise as it narrowed to the Mariners versus the Yankees.  Stacy was only half following the conversation, and Jane appeared to be bored as well, but Bob and Nick weren't stopping. They were playing some kind of mind game that Stacy couldn't quite figure out.  She had no idea who was winning, but neither of them were backing down.

Stacy stifled a yawn.  She was tired now.  They had been sitting there for over an hour.  Under the table, she felt Nick's hand find hers, his fingers intertwining with hers as he gave her a tightlipped smile. 

Bob was in the middle of a tirade about the publicity being given to the championship series and how one team was always played up to become the fan favorite.  "It's because of Littrell."  He pointed out.

"Why?"  Nick said mildly. "Cause he's got a postseason average of .700?"

Bob shook his head.  "No, not because of his average.  Because of his head."  He tapped on his own as he spoke.  "It's about sympathy.  If you guys manage to pull out another win - he's going to be MVP.  They wouldn't dare NOT let him be MVP.  It's a great story.  It doesn't get any better than that - he's dying, but he's not going to let that stop him, he leads his team to the World Series.  He does his interviews and smiles and says things about how he's going to beat this, and the fans all relate and sympathize with him and it generates interest in the team winning."

"Bob, don't be so blunt."  Jane admonished quietly.

Stacy had to agree with her.  Bob was looking at Brian's situation in an incredibly cold, almost cynical light.  It wasn't fair to Brian or Nick, and most of all, it wasn't true. 

Nick sat quietly for several seconds, staring at his father.  "Okay."  He said finally.  "You win."

"What?"  Bob asked.

"You win."  Nick repeated flatly.   He glanced over, his eyes meeting Stacy's.  It wasn't the expression on his face that worried her; it was the lack of expression.  "C'mon, it's getting late."  He pushed his chair back, crossed over to kiss the general area next to Jane's cheek, then headed for the glass doors of the restaurant.

Stacy hurriedly said her good-byes, mentally cursing Nick for putting her in this entire awkward situation - it wouldn't have killed him to wait ten seconds - grabbed her coat and headed for the door. 

"Well, wasn't that fun?" Nick said with forced cheerfulness as soon as they were outside.  "I love my parents.  They're so... alienating. C'mon, the hotel's around the corner.  We can walk."

Stacy had to admit, Nick's parents made her mother's career hopping look almost normal.  Jane was nice enough, a little too sugary sweet perhaps, but Bob - she couldn't quite put her finger on him.  He was in a league of his own.

"I didn't think it was that bad."  She tried to be diplomatic about the evening.  "Maybe the end was a little... alienating, to use your word, but other than that..."

"He's right."  Nick said shortly, shoving his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket and walking faster.

"No, he's not."  Stacy protested.  "That was a completely cynical outlook on Brian and everything he's going through right now."

"I know that!"  Nick stopped, almost yelling.  He lowered his voice, a little sheepishly.  "Look, I know that, and you know that, but to anyone that doesn't actually know Brian - they look at it just like my dad was saying.  They see this guy that's incredibly positive about everything, even though he's gonna die, and he's gonna keep playing, and he's not gonna let a little thing like a brain tumor stop him."  He stopped for a moment, rolling his lips between his teeth.  "And they don't see all the other stuff going on.  They don't see Brian and Kevin fighting over all of it.  They don't see Kevin crying in the video room.  They don't see the days when Brian can barely move ‘cause his head hurts so bad.  They don't see him sick in the trainers room until ten minutes before game time.  All they see is the stupid front he's putting on about all of this - and that pisses me off more than my dad trying to get to me like that tonight."

Stacy stood in stunned silence, completely unable to respond to what Nick had just said.  All she ever saw was the front Brian put forward, just like everyone else.  She had no idea that any of what Nick had just said was happening.  Things were much more serious than she had thought.  Now she was more thankful than before that she had come to New York after all.

"Stacy?"  Nick whispered.  "I don't think he should still be playing." 

~*~

"Nick?" Stacy said, her voice right next to his ear.

"What?"  Nick tightened his arms around her.  She had only been in New York for 25 hours and that wasn't long enough for him. 

"You can let go now."

He pulled away, looking down at her.  She was laughing at him, he could tell from her eyes.  Let her laugh. Who cared if he was being immature about the entire situation.  He really didn't want her to leave, even if he'd be back in Seattle himself the next day.  Everything made so much more sense when Stacy was there.  When she had called and said she was at the airport, he had actually thought he was going to start crying.  He hadn't realized until then exactly how much he depended on her now.

"Nick!"  Stacy interrupted his train of thought.  "I'm going to miss my flight."

"Yeah, okay."  Nick sighed, clasping her hands in his and pulling her up against him again.  "You have no idea how glad I am you came."

She did smile that time.  The happy feeling that had been lodging itself in Nick's chest for the last few weeks was back again.  He leaned down and kissed her one last time, then stepped back.  "Okay, you'd better get going.  I..." He snapped his jaw shut so fast his teeth hurt, shocked at what had just been about to pop out of his mouth.  Had he really been about to say he loved her?

"What?"  Stacy asked as she climbed in the cab. 

"I'll see you tomorrow."  Nick finished.

Stacy shook her head.  "Alright.  Good luck tonight."

Nick shoved his hands in his pockets and watched the cab pull away, his mind still reeling at the realization that he was in love.  Or was he really?  Nick still couldn't bring himself to completely open up to her, and that was starting to frustrate him. 

"Nick!  Nick!"  AJ hollered, bolting down the sidewalk to greet his teammate.  "I have to show you.  C'mere."  He grabbed Nick by the elbow and propelled him into the lobby, pushing him over to one of the ornate couches along the wall.  "Check it out!"  He rummaged in one of the many shopping bags he was holding and emerged triumphantly with a tiny little baby sized leopard print dress.  "Isn't that awesome?"  He grinned at it proudly. 

Nick tried to pay attention.  "AJ?  What if you have a little boy?"

AJ frowned.  "He's gonna feel like an a-- wearing it."  He shoved his sunglasses up on his head.  "What's your problem?"

"Nothing."  Nick defended, a little too quickly.

AJ raised his eyebrows.  "Stacy left, huh?  That's too bad; she would have appreciated my shopping abilities."

Nick lifted one shoulder in response.  Stacy wasn't a shopper, but then, there was something about baby clothes that caused every female within a 500 foot radius to stop and coo over them.

"You'll see her tomorrow, Nick."  AJ pointed out, tucking the dress back in its bag. 

"I think I'm in love."  Nick said in confusion, not really thinking about what he was saying.

AJ burst out laughing.  Nick frowned, slightly hurt.  He had been perfectly serious.  He was getting more and more freaked out by the entire idea, and AJ was laughing at him.

"What's so funny?"  Nick said defensively.

AJ took a deep breath.  "You just figured this out?  Damn, Nick, I could have told you months ago."  He chuckled a while longer, then wiped the smile off his face.  "Sorry."

"Yeah, thanks.  You're a big help."  Nick sighed.  Let AJ laugh at him, he had his happy little relationship with Felicia - or did he?  AJ probably knew more about love and trust than Nick realized.  If Nick had been in AJ's shoes, he never could have done it. 

"Don't use that head too much, Nick."  AJ interrupted wryly.  "Brains have to be broken in, you know."

"So what happens when everything backfires in your face?"  Nick ignored AJ's smart mouth remark. 

"You just pick up the pieces and move on."

That was what worried Nick.  So far throughout his life, he had been more or less incapable of picking up the pieces.