~ Chapter Fifty Two ~

Stacy locked the door to her hotel room behind her, set her bag and notebooks on the small table next to the bathroom door and flopped onto the bed.  It had been an exhausting day, and the serious stuff hadn't even begun yet.  She reached for the remote and flipped the TV on, almost laughing out loud when she realized the first channel she checked was ESPN.  Six months ago, she wouldn't have even thought about tuning into sports.

Inside her bag, her cell phone started ringing.  She frowned, slowly dragging herself over to grab her bag and try to find it.  She didn't know her cell phone even worked in Minnesota.  Who knew what other features were on it she wasn't aware of. Giving up on pawing through the bag, she messily dumped the entire contents out on the bed and grabbed the phone, the shrill ringing noise getting on her nerves.  "Hello?"

"Hi."  Nick said hesitantly.

"Nick?" 

"Yeah..."  He was silent for a long moment.  She could picture him sitting in his hotel room in LA; face wrinkled in concentration, trying to figure out exactly how he was going to say whatever it was he was going to say.

"So are you mad at me?"  He said finally.

"No."  She had never been mad at Nick, just frustrated.  Now she'd cooled off, and was starting to feel just the slightest bit guilty about what she had said to him the night before - even if most of it had been true.

"You're not mad?"  Nick sounded so surprised it was almost comical. 

"No, I'm not mad.  A little frustrated with all of this, yes, but I'm not mad." 

"I..."  Nick started, then fell silent again.  "Um, I didn't do a very good job of explaining things last night."

"Explaining what?" 

"I wasn't trying to make you choose.  Okay?  I didn't... um... I wanted you to go to Minneapolis."

"That wasn't what you said, Nick." 

"I know that - I know it wasn't.  I mean, I wanted you to come with me, but if you came, then it would mean you wouldn't go there, and so..." Nick sighed.  "Never mind, it doesn't make any sense, does it?"

"No, I think I get what you're trying to say."  She smiled.  It was actually kind of sweet, in Nick's own weird little way. 

"Really?"  Nick said hopefully.  "Then can you explain it to me?"

"That... would probably be a little too much to hope for."  Stacy said wryly. 

"How's your conference thing?"  Nick sounded happier now. 

"My `conference thing?'" Stacy repeated in amusement.  "It's fascinating, but long."

"When do you have to get up there and talk?" 

"Tomorrow."  Stacy closed her eyes.  "Don't remind me, please.  I'd like to sleep tonight."

Nick snickered.  "Just use lots of big words."

"No, Nick.  These people actually know what the big words mean." 

"Ohhh... ya might have a problem then."  He paused.  "You'll be fine." He added reassuringly. 

"I hope so."  Stacy really didn't want to think about tomorrow.  If she started worrying about it the night before, she'd be a basket case by morning.  "So what's going on for you?"

"Oh, the usual.  You know, Brian and Becky running all over the hotel, Kevin screaming at them to shut up and act like civilized people...  that kind of thing." 

"Becky's there?"  Stacy smiled.  She loved that little girl.  Everyone loved Becky. 

"In full force."  Nick confirmed.  "Stacy?"  His voice turned serious again.  "You know what you said about how you always have to figure out what I mean?"

"Nick, I didn't mean that."  Stacy started. 

"No, you did... it's true, and I know it.  And... I'm just so tired of doing this.  I'm tired of always having everything screwed up... except it doesn't matter what I do, it ends up screwed anyway... and I hate it!"

"Nick, don't flip out."  Stacy wished she was in LA, and not halfway across the country.  The exact same thing Nick was getting upset over was getting in her way.  If she had been looking Nick in the face, she would have known what to say, but right now, she couldn't tell. 

"I'm trying not to."  Nick's voice was barely audible now.  "I'm really trying." 

"Okay... just calm down."  Talking over the phone wasn't working.  Things were fast growing worse.  All she wanted to do right now was wrap her arms around him make him feel better, and it was incredibly frustrating that she couldn't do it right then.

The line was quiet for a good minute.  "You still there?"  Stacy asked finally.

"Uh-huh."  Nick said tiredly.  "You know how you feel like s--- the day before you get sick?"  He added. 

"Mm-hmm."

"I've felt like that ever since we got off the plane today."  Nick sighed.  "Biggest game of my career so far, and I'm gonna be sick."   He paused.  Stacy could hear muffled banging noises on his end of the line.

"Geez..."  He muttered.  "Just kick the door in, why don'tcha?  Hang on a minute."  He added to her. "Let me get the door."

Stacy waited.  "Howie?"  She could still hear Nick's voice faintly through the receiver.  "What... no... wait, what?  Howie!  Slow down! Now?  But... what happened?"

"Stacy?"  Nick said hurriedly.  "I gotta go.  It's... Brian.  I'll call you later, okay?"

The phone clicked in her ear and Stacy was left sitting on her bed, wondering what had just happened.