~ Chapter Seventy Two ~

Felicia was now in that floating area where she was so tired she had long since tuned out everything going on around her, but at the same time was too tired to actually fall asleep.  The couch wasn't the most comfortable place to lie, but she was too tired to climb up the steps and go to bed. 

Somewhere, back in the one corner of her mind that was still aware of the real world, she could hear Natalie crying.  Natalie was a very quiet, complacent baby, except almost on cue, every few hours, she'd start crying. 

"I got her."  AJ announced happily, patting Felicia's leg on his way past the couch. 

Felicia didn't even open her eyes.  Of course he did.  AJ handled everything. He was good at that.  She wasn't.  Right now, she wasn't even capable of going upstairs and crawling into bed. 

"Okay, you want to go to bed, or just sleep there tonight?"  It seemed as if he was back awfully quickly, but she didn't have an especially good grasp on time at the moment, so maybe not. 

"Bed."  She said finally, letting him pull her up.  A theory had been raised that chronic fatigue was caused by the patient's muscles being unable to relax completely, and Felicia could believe it.  It was her joints that ended up hurting the most, and the only thing she had found that helped was the prescription muscle relaxer she'd been on for the last year or so.  The downside was they gave her a horrible headache, but sometimes you just had to choose the lesser of the two evils.  Right now, she really wanted to sleep. 

"And we hit that rut in the marriage where husband takes off wife's shirt, and wife doesn't even care."  AJ announced with a flourish, tugging her shirt off over her head and sending it onto the carpet next to her skirt.  "Good thing I still care, huh?"  He added, the grin on his face growing wider.

"It's not fair hitting on me when I'm tired."  Felicia protested automatically. 

"Hell yeah, it is."  AJ argued.  "I can say whatever I want and be assured you won't slap me for it."  He vanished into the bathroom, still babbling.  That was one of the nice things about AJ.  You never had to worry about making conversation.  "I think it's a great setup!"  He yelled, banging the medicine cabinet door. "Here."  He appeared again a few moments later, pulling a t-shirt over her head and handing her a small pinkish colored pill.

Felicia sighed.  AJ wouldn't be analytical enough to think a glass of water might help, so she swallowed it dry, too tired to even try and figure out what the medication was.  There were too many different pills, all different colors that did different things.  Her mind couldn't keep it all straight. 

AJ, in his many shopping trips around the major leagues, was always bring home assorted t-shirts with strange sayings.  If they were big enough, Felicia ended up wearing them to bed.  Tonight, the shirt said 'I am woman, see me shop'.  AJ had found it in Detroit last year, and he was rather proud of himself because of it.  Felicia half crawled, half fell over underneath the blankets, not really caring if there was a pillow there or not.

"You okay?"  AJ asked quietly.

Felicia nodded, rolling over away from him, half wishing he would just go away and let her sleep.  "I'll be fine in the morning." 

  She could feel AJ crawling over her legs onto the other side of the bed.  "Hey."  He knelt on the bed next to her, elbows resting on his knees.  "I thought we weren't going to do this anymore?" 

"Do what?"  She wasn't sure if he wasn't making sense because he was AJ, or because her head was so fuzzy.

"You promised me you'd back off."  He didn't say it in an accusatory tone; he was merely stating a fact.

They went through this every single time.  AJ was upset because she was doing too much.  Felicia was upset because she couldn't do anything.  This time was different, however.  Usually, she couldn't stand the fact she had no energy.  This time, she didn't care.  Right now, she'd happily stay in bed for days.  "Okay, I am."  She said quietly, closing her eyes. 

He laid down next to her and pulled her up against him, but this time, it didn't make her feel any better.  She still had a feeling that things weren't going to be okay.

~*~

"Hi, Nick!"  Becky was skipping across the cement floor of the ball yard, coming to a stop next to Nick.  She was wearing jingle bells on the laces of her shoes.  She didn't even need the reindeer, she sounded like a sleigh all on her own. 

"Hey."  Nick smiled at her and kept packing his bats, gloves and other random baseball equipment into his bag.  He had finally grown bored of doing nothing while Stacy was at work, and had taken Kevin up on the offer of hanging out at the ball yard during the day.  This was the official hanging spot for any major leaguers that spent the off-season in Seattle.  AJ even spent a good part of his time there, and he didn't even hit.   He just sat and talked and made fun of everyone else.  AJ wasn't there that day, since Felicia hadn't been feeling well.  It had been a fairly quiet day without him, so far.

Becky hopped up onto the bench next to Nick and stuck her feet out, making the bells jingle again.  "See?"  She said happily, holding her feet up for inspection.  "They're my Christmas spirit shoes."

"Very cool."  Nick nodded.  Christmas spirit shoes - Becky was as excited about Christmas as AJ was.  That was a scary thought. 

"I have all my Christmas presents wrapped too."  Becky added proudly.  "Daddy showed me how to wrap them so the corners don't bunch all up, like when Mommy does it.  What did you get Stacy for Christmas?"

"I still have two weeks!"  Nick stalled, wincing. He hadn't even thought about that. 

"What are you going to get her?"  Becky didn't back down.

"I don't know."  Nick admitted.  "What do you think I should get her?"

Becky thought for a while, weighing the possibilities.  "A ring."  She said finally.

Nick choked and started coughing, almost toppling off the bench.  WHAT had she just said? "No..."  He gasped finally, his arms waving in the air.  "No no no no no no... not a good idea." 

"Why not?"  Becky shoved her lower lip out, pouting slightly at being rejected.

"Cause... it's just not."  Nick pulled himself back together, tucking his legs up Indian style on the bench.  "You don't do that unless you've known someone for a long time.  You got any other ideas?  Lingerie is out of the question too, okay?"  He might as well make that clear from the start.  That sounded like a Christmas present Howie would give his girlfriend.  All of them.  For just a moment, Nick wondered exactly how Howie managed to juggle all those girls. 

"La-what?"  Becky scrunched her face up.

"Never mind."  Nick wasn't going to be the one to explain that to Kevin's kid.  If he did, it'd be the last thing Nick ever did. 

"Well then..."  Becky let the subject of lingerie drop.  "Give her an angel."

Nick wrinkled his nose.  "How do you give someone an angel?"

"Not a real one, silly!"  Becky chortled. 

Nick frowned.  That was the first time a six year old had ever made him feel stupid.  "So a not real angel?"

"Yep."  Becky swung her legs, making the bells on her shoes jingle.  "You can't give people real angels."

"You believe all that stuff like Brian did, right?"  Nick wondered.  Brian had always been going on about angels and everything happening for a reason.  The angels, Nick could go along with.  The rest, now more than ever, he was convinced Brian was wrong on that one. 

"What stuff?"  Becky frowned, her legs no longer moving.  "About angels?"

"Yeah.  You can see them?" 

Becky nodded solemnly.  "Well, you can't really see them, 'cause angels look just like everybody else.  They don't have wings like the pictures.  But you can tell when they're there, because angels are more of a feeling that everything is going to be okay and they're going to help you fix things."  She smiled at him.  "Brian explained it a lot better than I can.  It's because he was older and knew bigger words than me."

"Peaceful?"  Nick offered. 

"Yes."  Becky nodded.  "And safe, and happy."

"Do you think bad stuff can happen to angels?" 

"Yes."  Becky said instantly. 

Nick flinched slightly.  That had been a quick response.

"Angels aren't perfect."  Becky explained, her feet swinging and jingling again.  "Angels have problems and they make mistakes.  And sometimes angels need help too."

He filed that information away for future reference.  That wasn't something Brian had ever said anything about.  Still, it all added up.  "So, Becky?  Do you think Brian was an angel?"