Neither spoke as Nick drove them out of the small, run-down town. Nick was still fuming at Ben’s remark about Solana but knew the more he reacted to it, the stronger ammunition it’d give the kid. Besides, Nick was still trying to put words together to not only make Ben listen, but possibly to have some kind of impact. He’d never been too good with words, but this felt important enough to give it his best shot.

When they pulled into the parking lot, Ben finally looked up from his point of concentration on his lap. “What if I don’t like Chili’s?”

“Then I guess you go hungry.” Not another word was said, as Nick plopped his ball cap on his head and got out. Ben didn’t budge. Looking at the truck and wanting to lock the doors, Nick knocked on the window and motioned for Ben to get out. He still didn’t budge.

Nick walked around to Ben’s side of the truck, counting to ten to help him calm down. “I’m gonna kill this kid before my year’s up.” He opened the door and held out his hand as if escorting a lady on a date. “You need help out of the car, Miss?”

That got him moving…but just his head as he it whipped around to shoot daggers of fire from his eyes. “I’m not getting out.”

“You know, I expect this shit from Liz. Although I don’t see her pulling it on me. Get out of the truck.”

“No. I want you to take me home.”

“Free dinner.”

Nothing.

“I’ll let you smoke.”

Ah, there we go. A softening. Ben pulled his ball cap down over his eyes, just like Nick was in a habit of doing, and finally got out of the truck. Silently, they made their way inside and were greeted by the ever-so chipper hostess.

“Good evening. Two for dinner? Smoking or non?”

“Non.”

Ben shot another glare at Nick, smacking his arm. “You said I could smoke!”

“I lied. Non-smoking, please.” Feeling Ben’s stance firm up and not want to follow the hostess, Nick took hold of his arm and gently pulled him along. “Come on…don’t cause a scene.”

Nick smiled appreciatively at the hostess as she gave them their menus and began spouting off the daily specials. Ben sat with his arms crossed, looking at the tile in the table as though it had some secret mystery locked inside. Once she left, his gaze finally met with Nick’s.

“I hate you.”

“Sorry to hear that. Pick up the menu and decide what you want.”

“Eat me.”

“Nope. Tonight it’s a burger.”

Nick buried his attentions to the menu and let Ben seethe. Aaron could get this way with him and he’d learned that not catering to it was typically the best way to go. Smiling to himself when he saw Ben finally grab at the menu and open it, Nick sat back and twirled the drink specials display around on the table. Finally, he spoke.

“So, where were you today?”

“None of your business.”

“Yeah, it is my business because we had an appointment. You owe me and Miss Romero an explanation.”

“You didn’t tell her…”

“No, but we rode by her house. She’s not stupid.”

“Fuck.”

Nick let him seethe and squirm a bit more, giving him time to decide whether he was going to talk or not. It was a real battle of wills.

“I wasn’t anywhere, man. I just went to Steve’s.”

“Did you forget or were you avoiding me?”

“I was pissed. Didn’t want to see you.”

“Fair enough. I get that way too sometimes.”

Ben looked to Nick, amazed anyone could relate to his feelings. Especially this anyone. “You do?”

“Oh hell yeah…the guys in the group. My god, we’d get so sick of each other. Angry. But, we had to keep doing what we do.”

“Yeah, but that was your job.”

“And as far as you’re concerned this is yours. School and your obligations to the court. Which is me.”

“Lucky me.”

“Right now, the feeling’s mutual.”

Ben looked down again, hating how Nick was somehow able to knock him off of his high horse. He never saw it coming…he was just on the ground wondering what hit. “Did you nark about the tires?”

“Miss Romero knows now.”

“You told me you wouldn’t tell her if I cooperated. I cooperated.”

“And you ditched me today. Had you shown up, she would have never known. I fought telling her, Ben, I really did.”

“Why?”

“Because I promised you I wouldn’t say anything. I hate dishonesty. Been dealt it too damned much.”

“I feel that.”

At just the perfect moment to break up the pending serious tone of the conversation, the waitress returned to take their orders and bring drinks. She was sickeningly sweet and Ben had a difficult time not busting up right in front of her. Scolding with his eyes once she left, Nick couldn’t keep the smile from his voice or his face. “Stop it, man…she’s just doin’ her job.”

“She’s a geek.”

“Okay, yeah…but you’re gonna upset her.”

“She’ll live.”

“Why are you so hard on people, huh? Okay, she’s goofy lookin’ and a bit too happy about waiting tables at Chili’s but at least she’s workin’…”

“True…I dunno. Some people are just so easy.”

“And you?”

“What about me?”

“Are you easy to make fun of?”

“Obviously. Look at me. What do you see?”

“Someone who’s not as tough as he thinks he is.”

“So are we going to IMAX after this?”

“Uh, no.”

“No?”

“No. You blew it, Ben. You’re lucky you’re getting dinner out of this.”

“You know, for a drunk, you sure don’t cut me any slack.”

“Okay, that’s it.” Nick slammed his fork on his plate and shot an angry glare to Ben, who couldn’t have been the least bit ruffled by it. “You saw me drunk. You saw me stupid. You’ve one upped me. BUT…”

“But?…” Ben kept shoveling onion rings into his mouth, hardly blinking, hardly caring, at least by outward appearances. He’d pissed off the pop star. It was entertaining.

“But, since that night I’ve not slipped. With you, with myself, with the courts, with my job.”

“You’re my hero.”

“I’m not trying to be anybody’s hero, dammit. All I’m asking is for you to hold up your end of this deal. Why make it miserable for both of us?”

“Why make it easy on you?”

“Why not learn something in this mess, huh? Tell me something…”

“What?”

“Why’d you break into the school? You weren’t stealing anything, were you?”

“No…we just…I dunno. I hate school and all it stands for. I was pissed and…it seemed like a good thing to do. Go make a mess. Fuck up someone’s day and have to clean everything up.”

“Get attention.”

“Yeah, that too…that’s what Miss Romero always says.” Ben shrugged and stole a few onion rings from Nick’s plate. “I usually hate attention though.”

“Certain kinds of it.”

Ben couldn’t argue with that. How’d he know anyway?

“I’m the same way, man. Get me on stage. Thousands of people screaming my name. God…there’s nothing like it.”

“See, that scares the shit outta me. Just thinking about it.”

“It’s the best high in the world. But, put me in a room with strangers. Especially gawkin’ ones…like…” Nick looked around with out looking too much. “Okay, my 4 o’clock.”

“Oooh…that blonde one’s cute.”

“She’s a fan. That shit drives me nuts. Even though she’s behind me, I have felt her starin’ at me since we sat down. That kind of attention? I can live without it.”

“Now, that I’d like. Knowing someone is interested in you…”

“Nope. She’s interested in who she thinks I am. Not me. Not Nick. I hate it.”

“At least she’s interested.”

“But see, she’s not. And you do stupid shit so people will be interested in you. So they’ll notice you. But they’re not going to notice you for the right reasons. They won’t know you, they’ll just know what you’ve done.”

Damn, that was good. Why hadn’t he thought this through for himself? It made perfect sense. When he wasn’t on stage, he still wanted to be applauded, so he made himself the center of attention for whatever was cool at the moment. In a club, it was getting drunk. Chasing women. Bringing a few home. He was the stud. Just like on stage. And in the morning, he was empty.

“How do you feel the day after you do something like that?”

“Depends on if I got caught or not.”

“Really? Inside…not what you show Steve and…what’s the other one’s name?”

“Rod. I guess I feel…” Ben shrugged. How the hell did he know how he felt? Seemed like he felt like he did every day whether he did something stupid the day before or not. He felt empty. Unwanted. Unloved. Unappreciated. Every day of his life. “…the same as I do every day.”

“So did it make a difference? Is it worth it?”

“Have you seen Mr. Frissora mad?”

“Uh, no…”

“Well, until you do, you don’t know what good is. He’s so great to piss off. The look on his face is always worth it.”

Nick wasn’t amused. Smacking Ben’s hand as he tried to steal a few more rings, Nick shook his head. “I’m not done. Order dessert or somethin’.”

“Ooh…can I?”

“I get two bites. Quit stealin’ my food, man.”

Did Nick just see a smile? No way. And he gave one back. But, he wasn’t done. He had a few ground rules to lay down. He wasn’t going to take Ben’s generally crappy attitude with him anymore.

“Okay, so here’s the bottom line.” They were back at Ben’s house, dusk settling around them while they shot hoops and swatted at mosquitoes.

“Yeah, what?” Ben watched as Nick’s shot hit the rim and bounced off, right into his arms. “You suck, you know that?”

“Yep. I do.” Watching Ben’s shot go up and in the hoop, Nick shook his head. Damned kid. “You don’t…”

“I’m out here a lot. Mom drives me nuts.”

“They’re good at that.” Nick jogged up for a lay-up and made it. Finally. Tossing the ball to Ben, he continued. “Now, I’m gonna drive you nuts. I’m sick of your mouth, Ben. The tires? Yeah, pissed me off. Ooh, almost.” Retrieving the rebound, Nick shot from under the hoop again and made it.

“Come away from the basket, old man. No wonder you’re making it.”

He tossed the ball to Ben with force, again knocking him off guard. “Wake up, boy. And pay attention to me for a minute.”

Ben quit dribbling and looked up to Nick. For once. They rarely shared eye contact, but when they did, both of them quit breathing for a second. Their physical similarities were so frightening. It meant nothing other than they felt like they were looking in the mirror. It wasn’t always something they wanted to see.

“Thanks…okay, the tires? We worked it out. You have to earn my trust back with that one, but I’m talkin’ about the comments…the thing you said about me and Miss Romero, me bein’ a drunk…that shit’s gotta stop.”

“What’d I say about Miss Romero? I like her.” Asking with his eyes if he could shoot again, he did when he got the nod from Nick. As usual, by the end of their time together, they had a groove down. Would it last this time though?

“Then don’t be talkin’ smack on her and me.”

“Well, you’re fuckin’ her aren’t you?” Ben dug the ball out from an opening in the fence and tossed it to Nick. “We keepin’ score or anything?”

“I’m not…and I’m not fuckin’ Miss Romero for God’s sake. Oh yeah…three points.”

“You’re not!? Man, I coulda sworn…why not? She’s hotter than hell!”

“Yeah, she’s that alright, but no…I’m not…I’m not with anybody right now.”

“No way…big pop star. You’ve gotta be fuckin’ somebody. Just someone new all the time, right?”

“No…you’re sick, you know?”

“Come on…who you doin’?”

“My hand. Period.”

Ben stopped dribbling the ball and looked to Nick trying to decide whether to laugh or not. He couldn’t tell if he was being serious and if he wasn’t…was it funny? He didn’t have a girl? All the time? He just figured that came with the package.

“Well, I’ll be damned. I just figured you drank and fucked your way through life. There’s your three points, old man.”

Jogging up to get the ball, Nick did another easy lay-up from under the basket. “Can't solve all your problems by having a tit and a bottle to suck on.* That game ends when you’re a baby.” So why hadn’t he behaved that way in the past 20 odd years? Damn, he was as screwed up as this kid.

“Still…nice to have one…or two…or four. Gimme the ball.”

“Oh, like you’d know.” Toss. Hard.

“Oof…easy, man. And you’re right, I wouldn’t, but damn, I’d sure like to find out.”

“Trust me, it doesn’t make life any easier. Complicates it. And that’s what I mean, Ben…you gotta quit just tossing people off as something to use. Miss Romero can’t be someone you use to piss me off.”

Ben stopped mid aim and looked to Nick. He hadn’t thought about it that way.

“You said the first time we met that it seemed like people were only interested in you if they could get something from you.”

“Yeah…”

“Well, maybe because you do the same thing. You use people to get to other people. Use their faults or what you think they might be. I’m not a drunk, Ben. That argument isn’t gonna work with me anymore.”

“Sure seems to piss you off.”

“Because it’s not true…and you’re not going to do it anymore. You’re going to show up for our meetings, you’re going to at least try to have a good time, and you’re going to keep your delinquent games to times with your delinquent friends…not with me…you got it?”

“Or???”

“Or, I’m done. And I had some really cool shit for us to do this year, but you’ve got to earn it first. Some of it requires trust and right now, I don’t trust you.”

“And I’m supposed to get that back? How?”

“I just told you, Ben. Quit fighting me. Quit ragging on me and the people who are trying to get you out of this hellhole you’re in. Let me see you try like I have. That’s all I’m askin’.”

“So pretend I give a damn?”

“If that’s what I just said means to you, then yeah. Pretend you give a damn.”

“I still don’t see what difference it makes.”

“Because, if you pretend good enough, maybe you finally will.”