“No, Jack, I am NOT asking him for an autograph…I can’t even talk to him. Just shut UP about it, okay!?”

Nick tried to stop Ben from opening the door to his house when he heard the commotion inside. But, Ben was too quick. Before he knew it he was standing in the doorway staring at a very irate Kitty and her tormenting little brother. When Kitty saw who walked in, she paled, smacked Jack upside the head and ran down the hall to her room, slamming the door as she cried.

“Oh, that was good, bro…nice timing.”

“Like I knew you guys would be here now.” Jack plopped down on the floor and started up a video game. “I was just telling her to quit whining about Nick being here and ask for an autograph. She won’t even TALK to him.”

Nick was afraid that was the source of Kitty’s silence. That and a major self-esteem problem. He felt bad…hated when his simple presence made people act differently than they might had he just been…normal. Not Nick Carter, but just…Nick. Like Ben and Jack knew him.

“Well, hell…she won’t come out of there until tomorrow now.”

“Tomorrow?” Who the hell stayed locked in their room for a day? Oh yeah, Nick did. Years ago on tour. Sucked. No, this would not do. He had to do something to make her see he was just…a guy. If she couldn’t get past the celebrity stuff, she at least had to acknowledge him a bit…be comfortable. He wasn’t going to quit being there, so she’d better get used to it.

“Yeah, tomorrow. She’ll lock herself in there for days sometimes. She’s gotta have food stashed in there or something.”

“God…Jack, what would she want autographed?”

“Nothing now…she’s too embarrassed. I blew it.” He flipped off the game, not able to concentrate.

“Nah, we’ll fix it. Does she have one of our CDs or something?”

“Yeah, I think so…they’re over here.” Ben started sifting through a pile of CD’s near a dusty, portable boom box and finally found what he wanted. “This is yours, right? Black and Blue?”

“Yep. Go out to my truck and I’ve got some sharpies in the glove box.” Nick tossed Ben the keys and took the jacket out of the case, flipping to the page he wanted to sign.

As Ben took off outside, Jack started his line of questioning. If he could get out of this hell hole, Nick was convinced this kid would make an excellent attorney. “Why are you doing this?”

“You know, you all ask me that a lot. Because I want to? Will that do this time?”

“No…I think you’re just bein’ a hotshot.”

“Jack, I’m not. I just don’t want her embarrassed and if this is what’s stopping her then…well, it’ll be over and done with. Next time she can talk to me.”

“Whatever. Looks like you’re just bein’ a show-off to me.”

“Well, I’m not doing it for you, am I?”

“No, I guess not.”

Ben came in out of breath from his quick jog. “Here…you need to clean that out, man. What a pit.”

“Excuse me, Mr. Let-me-look-under-my-bed-for-a-shirt???”

“Oh shut up…what are you doin’ anyway?”

“I’m gonna sign this and…can I slip it under her door?”

“I guess…”

Ben and Jack watched as Nick pushed aside a pile of dirty clothes from Jack’s bed and sat down. Even though he’d found his page, he looked through the entire jacket cover, reminiscing about the photo shoot, the tour, the entire last two years of the making and promotion of this CD. It hadn’t gone well. Made his stomach knot up every time he thought of it. Sighing at the situation, he started a short note on a white page with a picture of each of the boys on it.

“Okay…you sure she won’t notice when I stick it under there?”

“Nah, go ahead…she’ll be thrown across her bed in a fit now anyway.”

Nick kicked off his shoes so his footsteps wouldn’t be heard on the wood floor and snuck down the hallway. Sliding the jacket cover under the door, he quickly jogged back, grabbing his sandals, Jack and Ben on the way out back.

“What the…”

“Come on…gotta talk to your mom about something and I don’t want Kitty catching me right now…give her some time.”

“What’d you sign on that?”

“None of your business…first word on it was ‘Kitty’ not ‘Ben’.”

“Brat.”

“That’s me…wait.” Nick stopped at the doorway to the kitchen remembering how his shoes always stuck to it. He slid his feet into his sandals and sheepishly smiled at the boys. They knew. It was awkward. But, he was not going to have his bare feet stick on that linoleum. Ick. “Mom’s out back?”

“Yep…you’re gonna love this, Jack.”

“I can hardly wait.”

“Mrs. Casey?”

“Mom?”

The boys stopped their quick dash out back when their eyes landed on Patty. She was sitting at the broken down picnic table, hunched over in tears. Must be the day for those. Looking to the younger boys, Nick motioned for them to go back inside, whispering for Ben to get her a Kleenex. Without question, they did just that. Their mom did not cry. Not in front of them anyway.

“Mrs. Casey…you okay?”

Looking up, over her hands, she quickly sat up and wiped her eyes dry. “Oh, Nick…I didn’t hear you. Sorry.”

Slowly sitting down on the opposite side of the table, he questioned only with his eyes. No more words right now. She was a mess. She looked like a little girl in a prosthetic costume of a large woman. Her face was streaked with dirt from wiping her face, her hair hadn’t been combed today, as usual, her clothes were stained and she still held up her huge chest with a bra four or five times too small. Not the look of a ‘mom’, but yet…here she was.

“I’m sorry, Nick…I’m just…having a bad day.”

“It happens. Would it help if I took Jack and Ben out of your hands tonight?”

“Again? You still have patience after having Ben last night?”

“Yeah, he’s good…he thought Jack might like to go fishing too. Weather’s supposed to get better tomorrow and we can go back out.”

Ben snuck back with the tissues…toilet paper…close enough, and immediately went back inside. Patty looked up and started tearing again seeing her son so uncomfortable around her. “I’m a failure.”

“Here…” He handed her the wad of paper and wondered what in the hell he was supposed to say to that. Failure? No, not really. Adequate? Hardly, but he surely wasn’t in the position to say such a thing. “Why do you say that?”

“Nick, you’re very sweet, but honestly. Look around you.”

“Okay, so this isn’t heaven, but it’s a roof. You have great kids, Patty. You must be doin’ something right.”

“I don’t know how. I have no control over them. I do nothing, I’ve taught them no responsibility. I run away…”

“When’s the last time you did that?”

“When you helped. I never thanked you for that either.”

Nick shrugged. He didn’t need thanks. “That was quite awhile ago…have you gone that long before…between times?”

“You knew that wasn’t my first?”

“Yeah…it kind of came out in the midst of it all.” Seeing her redden in embarrassment, he encouraged, “Don’t worry about it.”

“God…and yeah, I think it is. I just can’t bring myself to go now. And whenever I want to, you’ve got Ben. I depend on him for Amy.”

“Well, see…that’s some responsibility there. You haven’t gone…maybe you don’t need to go back anymore.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, Patty occasionally wiping the stray tear from her face, never able to look into Nick’s eyes. She’d find comfort there if she dared, but right now, she couldn’t believe she was pouring her heart out to a pop star. A damned young one at that. What a mess.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah…go for it, I’m already embarrassed enough.”

“Why don’t you work? What can you do to make things better?”

“I’m on disability. My back. It’s because of my weight…”

“What did you do before?”

“Secretarial stuff. Typing, filing, phones…”

“You can’t do that now?”

“Well, child care is an issue and my back does hurt after a few hours at a desk.”

But she sits at home all day. Sitting. On that decrepit couch. Gaining more weight, becoming more depressed. “I’m sure the center could help with child care…”

“Probably. I dunno. No one will hire me anyway. Not with how big I am.”

“Isn’t that illegal?”

“Yeah, but they come up with other reasons…but I know.”

Taking a chance at totally wrecking what little trust he’d seemed to have built with this woman, Nick took a deep breath before asking his next question. “Can I make a suggestion?”

There. She did it. She finally met his eyes. And dammit, she did find comfort there. So young. So innocent…at least in her mind. So willing to help…from a distance. “Yeah, go ahead.”

“I know…god, this is really none of my business, but…uh, the food here. I know you use food stamps and all…”

“Yeah, I know…I buy shit.”

“Well, yeah. And, if you’d use that money to buy fruits and vegetables and…are you a decent cook?”

“Used to be, yeah.”

“I bet if you cut out half of the stuff you normally buy, you’d have enough money for a few great dinners…and leftovers. You and the kids would eat better.”

She looked down again, knowing he was right. She couldn’t summon a word in defense. There were none.

“You’d lose weight and they might not be such pains in your butt. They’re good with me and part of it is probably because they eat better.”

Wiping another tear away, she met his eyes again and found a smile. “When did you get so smart?”

“Who ever said I was stupid?” He flashed a big grin at her and she couldn’t help but return one of her own toothless variety.

“It’s another week ‘til stamps though…”

“Well…you seriously wanna try this? It’s not going to fix everything over night.”

“Yeah, but you’re right. I need to get off my ass and do something. I love to cook.”

“Okay…we need some snacks for tonight. I’ll take some of your stuff, pay you for it and you use that to go get a few things at the store.”

“Hmmm…might work.” Patty sat up and he could see that she was already calculating what she’d fix. Yeah…who DID say he was stupid? “Um, I don’t have any herbs and spices….they’re expensive. I like to cook with those.”

“Okay, make a list of what you want and when I bring the boys back tomorrow we’ll stop and get some. My treat.”

“You’re serious, aren’t you?”

“Yeah…I am. Look, there’s 5 great kids living in this house, and I’m guessing one great mom. You just have to do something to make sure it stays that way.”

“Your mama must be proud of you.”

“Eh, let’s not bring up my mama. Totally different ball game. But, yeah, she is.”

“She should be…you’re a good boy.”

Now he was blushing. A good boy? Hardly. A changing one? Possibly. “Look, I’ll help if I can, but it’s gotta come from you first.”

“Yeah, I know…I’m in the mood to cook now.”

“Good…tomorrow night, okay? McDonald’s is inside waiting for tonight, but we’ll bring the spices for tomorrow.”

Nick got up to see if the brothers were ready to go but Patty stopped him at the door and grabbed him in a huge hug. Almost knocked the wind right out of him. “Woah!”

“Sorry…thanks for listening to me. No one listens to me anymore.”

“Well, they’re missing something then.”

Another smile and then a frown. Amy was awake and none too happy that no one was around to hear her cries. “Ah, life calls again.”

“It always does, Patty. You just have to be ready for it.”

“You ready?”

“I don’t have trunks either.”

Ben smacked his brother upside the head. “I told you he’d buy you some on the way.”

“Yep, I will…K-mart’s gonna love me this weekend.”

“Then I guess I’m ready. Is, uh…is Mom okay?”

“Yeah, she’s fine. Just down in the dumps. Knowing you’re outta her hair tonight cheered her right up. She’s dancin’ out there.”

“Oh shut up…she is not.”

“God, Mom dancing? That’s an ug-“ Now Nick was the one thwapping Ben on the head.

“Shut up, man. That’s your mama. She’s fixing you a big dinner tomorrow night, so you’d better be cool.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“Nope, we’re buying spices tomorrow…which is a frightening thought, but, uh…yeah…dinner from Mom tomorrow.”

“Cool…she’s a good cook when she bothers.”

Nick smiled at that, seeing that somewhere under the tough exterior these kids knew what their mother was capable of too. Hopefully, she’d figure it out again. And soon.

As they made their way out to Nick’s truck, Kitty peeked out of her room holding the CD jacket in her hand like it was a precious jewel. She read the words again and walked into the living room as she heard the screen door close behind her brothers.

Kitty; a rose that will grow anywhere. Love, Nick

Hugging the booklet to her chest, the disheveled teen tentatively made her way to the door. She didn’t want him to see her, but yet, she wanted to see him. Giggling when she saw Nick bop her younger brother on the head for what looked like a smart alec remark, she almost stopped breathing when she saw him look up to the door seeing her there.

What he did next, she’d never forget. As she stood frozen in her spot, she gasped as he blew her a kiss, winked and got in the truck. And then, she did what she hadn’t done for months. Hell, maybe even years.

She smiled.

A rose that will grow anywhere. Maybe…maybe even here.