Nick tossed his bag up into the overhead compartment and slunk down in his seat with more than a little bit of anger oozing out of him. He did not want to be here. He did not want to be going where he was going. But, management insisted. No one had wanted to talk turkey for months and now all the sudden it was a fucking emergency. Assholes. All of ‘em. They were just pissed that he had quit being the push-over he’d been for the past ten years. No one knew how to handle it, so they thought bullying him around would work like it used to. Well, not anymore.

But first, before total anger could set in, he had to make something right. Ben had a major ball game the next night and there was no way Nick was going to make it. Strangely enough, that was probably pissing him off more than anything else. He hated broken promises and he knew Ben would not sit well with this one either. He had no choice, unfortunately. Heaving an exhausted sigh, he pulled out his cell and dialed the number.

“’lo?”

“Ben? Nick…”

“Yo…hey. Waddup?”

“Well, not much good. I’m gonna have to bail on tomorrow night.”

“What!? Nick…it’s the other undefeated team, man. You promised!”

“I know I did, but something’s come up and I tried everything to get out of it…and I’m stuck. I’m on the plane now.”

“Oh fine…wait ‘til you’re on the plane to call.”

“Ben…Christ. I got the call a couple of hours ago. I packed and hit the airport…this is my first chance.”

“Yeah, whatever…you gonna miss the last game too?”

“Remind me of the date.”

“The 13th.”

“Yeah, I’m good…should be back by then.” Hearing Ben sigh, Nick tried one more time. “I’m really sorry, Ben. You know I’d have worked this out if I could.”

“Mmm…”

“You got paper? Take down my cell number.”

“Why?”

“So you can call me and tell me how it went. I wanna know.”

“Aw, you care?”

“Don’t pull that shit with me, dammit. I’m trying here.”

“Yeah, yeah…hang on.”

Nick waited while he heard Ben scuffle around for a pen and paper. This was not going well.

“Okay, shoot.”

Nick gave him the number and honestly wondered if Ben was really writing it down. But it was out of his control. If the kid was going to have a hissy about something he could do nothing to change, Nick was going to have to let him.

“Call me after the game…I keep it on most of the time.”

“Whatever. I gotta go…”

And that was it. Nick heard the click and just sat there with the phone in his hand listening to the total silence. “Yeah, bye.” He slammed the phone closed and shoved it back in his pocket, angrily buckling his seat belt. This whole thing just sucked. Settling back into his seat, he smiled thinking a few vindictive thoughts. Maybe, just maybe, Ben’s call would interrupt a meeting…piss off some pompous windbag during his eloquent speech on loyalty and trust. Maybe…it’d be Brian.

“See ya’ later, Steve!” Ben hiked his bag up over his shoulder again and took a deep breath before going inside. As much as he, Jack and Kitty pitched in, it just seemed like things were going downhill anyway. His only escape had been times with Nick and now…well, Nick had dumped him too. At least it felt like it.

Without paying much attention, he slung his bag on the floor and let the screen door hit him on the butt before he got in all the way. Some day that thing would fall completely off its hinges. Looking up, he realized a screen door was the least of his problems. His life stopped right before his eyes.

Just like he’d seen a million times before, Amy was sitting up on a blanket playing with hand-me-down toys. Pieces missing, colors faded, but she didn’t care. What totally changed the picture was the man sitting next to her. Touching her cheek, helping her sort the rings, calling her ‘sweetie.’

Her dad.

His…

…whatever he was called. The man who tried. The man who made him lose all sense of trust. The man who was the topic of conversation at his weekly counseling sessions. Him. Darren.

And here he was pawing all over “his daughter” like she was the best thing in his life. Like he was really her dad…he had no idea what it was like to be a dad. To be a man.

Swallowing down the bile that was threatening, Ben choked out the only thing that had come through his young mind since he walked in.

“Get the fuck out.”

Darren looked up to Ben and smiled. It’d been a long time since he’d…oh yeah. That. Probably why the kid was so pissy. He just didn’t understand is all. “Hey…Ben. How’s it goin’? You win your game?”

“Get the fuck out of MY house.”

“Ben…now…” Looking down to Amy who immediately felt the tension in her big brother and reacted accordingly with whimpering, he scooped her up and stood to greet the teen. “You’re upsetting Amy.”

“Get the fuck out of my house…NOW.”

He approached Ben slowly, reaching out a hand while he kept a squirmy Amy propped on his hip. “Come on now, man. No hard feelings, huh?”

Ben had had it. With one quick move he took Amy from the man’s arms and screamed, not even sure what words were coming out of his mouth. “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!”

“Benjamin Casey! You stop this instant!” Patty stormed in from the kitchen moving faster than she probably had in years.

“Stay out of this, Mom. He needs to leave.” Ben hiked Amy onto his skinny hip a bit better and walked over to the front door, holding it open for their ‘guest.’ “And he’s doing that right now.”

“He is doing nothing of the sort. What the hell is wrong with you?” Taking Amy from her son, she looked into his eyes with severe judgment. “Are you high?”

“I should be asking you that, shouldn’t I? How could you let this prick in our house again?”

“He’s Amy’s father, Ben…he wanted to see her.”

“Yeah, I bet…” turning his attention to the cocky man standing in the middle of his living room, looking more amused than concerned at the teen’s anger, Ben found a strength in him he didn’t know he had. He approached him and stared him down, happy to see that he was closer to the man’s height than he had been at their last fateful meeting. “What were you planning on doing to her, you piece of shit? You gonna hurt her too?”

“Ben, you’re being irrational…calm down.” As cocky as Darren was acting, he did back up at Ben’s approach. Yes, he had grown since their last…meeting.

“What the hell are you talking about? Ben…get out of here right now.”

“Oh no…I live here. If anyone’s leaving, it’s him. It’s about time you heard about this anyway.”

“What are you…” Now turning her attention to the man as well, Patty questioned with her eyes, and finally her voice. “What is he talking about, Darren?”

“He’s overreacting. Nothing. It’s nothing. You got a beer?”

“No, she does not have a beer and you are leaving. Unless you wanna talk to her about the last time I saw you.” Ben took a quick look around to make sure Liz and Jack weren’t around. They did not need to see or hear this. Innocence was one thing they still had going for them.

“I don’t see what’s to tell, Ben…you’re blowing things out of proportion.”

“You’re a total fuck. I’ve had it. Get out.”

“Ben! You will not kick him out of this house!”

“You told me I’m the man of this house now, right?”

She backed down. Yes, he was. As sad of a truth as it was, yes. She had instilled that in him and he took it seriously…usually. Without a word, she looked down and nodded her answer. What was he so upset about?

“Then as the man of this house, I want this man out. Now. I mean it, Mom. Amy is fine without a dad…if this is the shit that’s going to show his face as one.”

“You’ve turned into a little punk, huh? No wonder you had so much fight in you that day.”

“Mom, take Amy out of here.”

“I will do no such thing.”

Now he was pleading. “Please, Mom…get her out of here. I’ll explain later.” Mother and son met eyes and mother knew he was serious. She had no idea what would happen next, but for some reason, against her better judgment, she took Amy back into her bedroom and shut the door.

“I want you out of this house and never show your face again, do you understand me?”

“You don’t tell me shit, Ben…who do you think you are?”

“Your worst nightmare if you ever come near anyone in my family again. It’s not been too long that I can’t report you…and I will.”

“You don’t have the balls.”

“Don’t test me, Darren. A lot has happened since you were here. You have no idea who you messed with.”

“I’m real scared, kid.”

“I don’t care if you’re scared or not. I want you gone now. Amy is fine without you. You try to fight for any custody, I’ll be there. You go away and our little secret stays just that. Got it?”

“She’s my daughter.”

“You lost that right when your hand went on my dick.” Thinking about that moment and having much too much of a memory about it, he swallowed hard and held the door open again. “I’m done. Get out.”

This time, for whatever reason, Darren took the offer. But not without one more moment of discomfort for Ben. Had to push one more button. Had to somehow show he really was “the man” in this situation. Leaning down to whisper in the boy’s ear, he had to try one more time. “You’d have liked it, Ben…too bad you’ll never know now.” He slid his finger across Ben’s chin as he walked out, Ben never moving, never flinching, never blinking, never breathing.

Ben slammed the door behind Darren and buckled into a pile of tears. Tears of anger, fury, and…relief. He’d done it. He stood up to the man. Now, to go explain it to Mom.

Peeking into her room, Ben’s heart sank. Amy stood at the bed sucking on her pacifier, fear and confusion clouding her typically bright eyes. But his mother…she looked utterly defeated. She sat on the floor in a heap, totally ignoring the baby, totally unaware of anyone else. It was like she was in shock.

“Come here, Amy…let’s see if Jack’s around, huh?”

Amy’s face lit up and reached up for her brother, spitting out the pacifier and resting her head on his shoulder. He was the only daddy she ever knew. What a frightening thought.

Finding his younger brother outside, he looked up to the heavens in a quiet prayer that Jack wouldn’t be a dick about watching her. It’d be a first, but who said miracles couldn’t happen. “Jack, I need you to keep an eye on Amy for me.”

“What was going on in there?”

“Don’t worry about it. Just…please? Don’t ask, huh?”

Seeing the seriousness on his face, as well as the tear stains, Jack conceded with no argument. “Yeah, sure…” He took hold of his sister, planting a kiss to her cheek. “…come on, Sissy. Let’s go check out Mr. Dorsey’s flowers.”

“Don’t pick ‘em, Jack!”

Jack waved his brother off and held his sisters hand as they walked across the alley to the neighbors yard. Thank God for miracles. Now, could there possibly be two in one day?

When Ben got back in, he was surprised to find his mom in the kitchen starting dinner, acting as though nothing had just happened.

“I’m going to call Darren tomorrow and you’re going to apologize to him. I’m also telling Nick what happened here. He’d be very disappointed in your behavior.”

What the hell? Who was this woman? “I’m not apologizing. You need to sit down and listen to me.”

“I’m busy.”

“Bullshit. We’ll have hotdogs again. I’ll even cook. Right now, we talk.”

“Since when are you my boss, young man? I can’t believe the way you acted with Darren. That is Amy’s father!”

“Yes, and he tried to get in my pants, too.”

Patty dropped the head of lettuce out of her hand, ignoring it as it rolled toward the back door. “What are you talking…Ben?”

“Sit down, Mom…I mean it. You look like you’re gonna pass out.”

That’s because she thought she might. “Ben?”

“Okay, here’s the deal. You know how I go to counseling every Monday?”

“Yeah…I thought that was, well, Miss Romero never said, did she?”

“No, because I asked her not to. I knew Darren was Amy’s dad and I just…god. I can’t believe that son of a bitch.”

“What are you talking about, Ben? I’m confused.”

“Two…two and a half years…before you got pregnant with Amy, Darren took me to the movies.”

“He did that a lot. He liked you.”

“Well, yeah. And normally, it was no big deal, but for some reason, this one night he parked in the back of the theater. It was crowded; I didn’t think much about it.”

“Okay…”

“We saw the movie. Star Wars. Fine. He takes me to the car, but stops before we get to it. No one’s around now and…he starts talkin’ all funny to me. I didn’t understand what he was talkin’ about.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, either. You’re scaring me.”

“Good. You should be scared. Anyway, next thing I know, he has me pinned up to his car and his hand is…it’s…” Ben looked down, the initial momentum of his story losing steam as the memory washed over him. He was 10, almost 11 when this happened. No kid should have memories like this.

“Ben…”

“…on me. You know…” pointing to his crotch, he swallowed back a tear. He couldn’t look at his mom. He just couldn’t.

“No he did not.”

“Yes, mom, he did. He started rubbing and of course…well, I reacted. I’d never felt that before. Well, outside of the shower. I never knew what the hell it meant and I surely never touched it like that.” Yet. God. This was humiliating. More than he ever imagined it would be.

Patty stood up and retrieved the head of lettuce and smacked it on the table, slamming a drawer open to find a knife. “You’re lying to me, young man and I’ll not have it. I want you to go find Jack and Amy and get him in here to help me with dinner.”

“Mom…I’m not lying to you! Why would I make something like this up!?”

“I don’t know, but I don’t want to hear another word…go get your brother.”

“No.”

“No!? Get out there right now and get your brother! You’re just giving me more to tell Nick and if he’s smart he’ll just stop seeing you altogether.”

“Nick knows, Mom! Miss Romero knows! Mrs. McKenna knows! And if you paid ANY attention to Darren today, you’d see that he knows too.”

“I’m not listening to any more of this. You’re just…just…”

“Just what, Mom? Telling you a truth you don’t want to face? That the man that fucked you, that fathered Amy, tried to fuck your son first!? You don’t want to deal with that? Well, tough shit, Mom. I’ve lived with it every day of my life since it happened. It’s about time you dealt with it.”

“GET OUT! NOW! Do not come back here for dinner either…you’re just…a perverted little teenaged boy who’s confused. I’ll not have you talk that way in this house.” She was shaking the large knife in his face now, totally unaware how close she was.

“He tries to jack off a 10 year old boy and I’m the pervert!? You are sick, Mom…sick and dense.” He pushed the knife away not caring if it sliced his fingers or not. “And you’re shoving a knife in my face. Put it down.”

Shocked at her own anger, she stepped back and went back to cutting the lettuce. “Please leave. I need to calm down and having you here will make it worse. I can’t believe I raised such a twisted young man.”

“Fine. I’m out.” Ben grabbed the cordless phone off its cradle and slammed out the back door, heading to Mr. Dorsey’s to find his brother. Yep. He was out alright. Dialing a familiar number, he stopped in the alley before he was too close for anyone to hear.

“Steve? Yeah, Ben. I changed my mind, man. Count me in.”