Ben finally found what would make him sleep. Tears. Lots of them. He cried so hard, so loud, he was sure he’d wake the neighbors. He almost felt like trashing Nick’s house again, not to hurt him, but just to get out all of his anger. Instead, he curled up into a ball and sobbed until he fell asleep. The next thing he knew, the alarm was blaring and it was time to get up and go to school.

A long, tiring ride back into Ruskin for school. School. How joyful. School meant Erin. Steve. Teachers. Expectations. Responsibilities. Family.

Ah, yes. Family. Before his first class, he called home to let his mom know he was okay.

Somehow she understood. She let it go…she trusted him. A glimmer of light in his newly dark place. He took it and let it guide him through his day. Let it shine for him when he struggled through science class and a boring lecture and Erin’s blonde ponytail taunting him from the front of the class.

He’d promised his mom he’d stop by the center on his way home from school. Steve didn’t work on Fridays so he was safe. So he went. Maybe Miss Romero…no.

How was he going to even look her in the eye? Nick was with another woman last night. Ben knew he had every right, but yet…he also knew his heart was with Miss Romero. And hers with Nick. But he’d betrayed that and she was none the wiser. How could he look at her and not let it out? Not let her know that Nick wasn’t all he was cracked up to be?

The world on the outside’s tryin’ to pull me in. But they can’t touch me cuz I got you.

Yeah, right. Ben rolled his eyes as he remembered the words to Nick’s song. What a fucking farce. Maybe Steve was smarter than Ben realized.

He got off of his bike and locked it up, grabbing his backpack and taking a quick shot into the net-less basket in front of the center. Someone had forgotten to put the balls away. Ben had to snicker at that. It used to be him. But now, now he was so busy being “good” that he was the one everyone suddenly felt accountable to. Maybe that had been a farce too.

He plunked the balls into the bin and went inside, bypassing Miss Romero’s office completely. Just go see Mom. No one else but Mom right now.

He knocked lightly on her door to let her know he was there and took a deep breath hearing her voice. Who would have figured she would be a comfort to him. Ever? Now? But there it was. Mom had come through with the simple act of trust. He walked in and tossed his bag in the corner, wanting nothing more than to see the smile on her face, the pride in her eyes at making her life better.

Instead, when he looked up, he caught a glimpse of her shirt as she stepped away from her desk. And she wasn’t alone.

“Don’t ever hang up on me again, you hear me?”

“So guilt pays for an airline ticket nowadays, huh? I guess you’re right. Money doesn’t buy everything.”

“You wanna talk here or go somewhere else, Ben?” Nick leaned back in Miss Casey’s chair, never moving his glare from Ben. He was worried about the kid, but right now, he was a little taken back by his anger.

“Who said I wanted to talk anywhere?” Ben turned his back on Nick and grabbed at the door handle cursing when his sweaty palms stopped him from opening it right away.

“Hanging up doesn’t have to be on the phone. Do not walk out of that door.”

“You’re not my boss. You’re not my father. You’re nobody now, are you Mr. Carter?”

“You care to tell me what the hell is going on? I talked to you Tuesday and everything was fine. Now, I’m suddenly on your shit list. I have every right to know why.”

“Never mind, Nick. If you don’t know, then you’re too dense to understand if I explain it to you.” This time Ben didn’t think before he walked out of the office. He just walked. Then he ran. Right into Barry.

“Woah…Ben. No running inside now. You know that.”

“I…I’m sorry Mr. Irvin. I got-…I gotta get out of here.”

“Then do it safely…” Barry watched Ben slow down and then take off running again as soon as his feet hit the pavement. Turning back to go find Miss Romero, he saw Nick, taking off out of Miss Casey’s office and running after him. This didn’t look good at all.

Nick stopped when he got outside, looking both directions for any sign of Ben. Just when he feared he had lost him, he heard a scuffle to his left and saw a blur of Ben’s tennis shoes disappear behind a bush near the building next door. He took off in that direction, wondering who would out run whom. Who would out last whom. He suddenly felt like a 50 year old man.

When Ben heard Nick’s feet behind him, he picked up the pace. Why the hell had he come? He didn’t want to see him now. He didn’t want to face his demons anymore than he had the night before. He didn’t want Nick to be one of them, but right now…he was. Why couldn’t he have left well enough alone?

“Ben! Please! Stop! Don’t do this, man!” Nick was gaining on him, probably because he only had one goal in mind. To stop Ben. Ben’s mind was so active, so busy, it took extra concentration just to run in a straight line, no less do it quickly.

Finally Ben was stuck, having to wait for traffic at an intersection. Nick caught up and grabbed his arms, struggling as Ben fought to get away.

“Dammit, Ben…what is wrong!? Tell me what I’ve done!” He finally got a good grip of Ben’s arms and held him firmly, wishing the kid would just look up at him. What the hell had happened?

“Leave me alone, Nick! Just go back to California…I’ll be fine without you.”

“Look at me.”

“No.”

“Ben…Jesus Christ! Look at me…if you’re going to blow me off like this, at least have the balls to look me in the eye and do it.” Nothing made sense right now and Nick was not going to just let this kid go like that. He had to explain. He just had to.

Ben slowly looked up to Nick, their blue eyes meeting in an angered confusion. “Leave me alone. Please, just leave me alone.”

“No.”

“No?”

“No. Something has upset you. You don’t call my cell at 5 in the morning…from my house without some really good reason.”

“Yeah, well, it really didn’t matter last night now, did it? You had your entertainment for the evening.”

“Huh? You called during and album party, Ben. I wasn’t doing anything wrong.”

Ben finally shimmied out of Nick’s arms. Too tired to run. Too tired to fight, he slumped down on the curb and scooted away from Nick as he took a seat next to him. Ben couldn’t help but mock the woman he’d heard on the phone. “Come on, baby…I wanna dance some more!”

“Yeah, Ben. There were women at the party.”

“You were drunk.”

Ah, finally. Nick sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, okay…a little anyway. I’m not going to apologize for that. I haven’t been drunk since…shit, since you and I worked on your multiplication tables…”

“Yeah, right.”

“Yeah…right. I worked hard on this album, it’s been non-stop parties and yes, I’ve had too much to drink this week. I also know I’ve not been out of control either.”

“Why not? You surely could if you wanted to.”

“Yep, I could. I could have also snorted coke last night and popped a few pills. But I didn’t. I didn’t sleep with anyone and I drank probably one drink too many.”

Ben finally looked up to Nick and lowered his head again in embarrassment. Nick wasn’t lying. He’d freaked over nothing. What an ass. “Who was the woman?”

“No idea. Some broad who would not leave me alone. She was finally escorted out.”

Ben nodded and started picking up small pebbles that were laying in the gutter and throwing them into the street. “What kept you clean?”

“You. Lani. My family.” Sighing, he said the final one. “Me. I don’t want that anymore, Ben. I like to party a little, sure. I like to dance, I like to drink. But there’s no sense in going so far with it that I get into trouble and forget everything that happened. I don’t want to be numb anymore.”

“I kept you clean?”

“Yes, Ben. You.”

Steve was wrong. He knew it. He always knew it…somewhere inside.

“Don’t you have promo this weekend? How’d you get home?”

“I cancelled a few things and caught the first plane out of LA I could get. Just got in…maybe half hour before you showed up.”

“You cancelled stuff?”

“Ben, you called me on my cell at 5 am…from my house. You were freaked out. Then you hang up on me. I freaked out. I just made a few calls and came home. I’ll deal with the consequences later.”

“Will there be any?” Ben flung the last pebble within his reach across the street and scooted closer to Nick.

“Maybe…maybe not. I don’t care right now.”

“This is your solo career…it means everything to you.”

“It means a lot to me…yes. But Ben…you mean everything to me. I couldn’t ignore what happened.”

“You flew home just because of that phone call?”

“Yep.”

Ben was silent for a minute, realizing what he needed to do. “I need to go home…can you take me?”

“I came straight from the airport; I don’t have a car.”

“Shit…um…double on my bike?”

“Yeah…let’s go.”

It was an entertaining ride home, no doubt. Patty agreed to take Ben and Nick’s bags home with her after Ben had rejected her suggestion to just wait until she could drive him home. He wanted to take care of this now if he could.

Ben sat on his handle bars as Nick took the driver’s seat and rode them home, dodging cars, running stop signs and nearly crashing at every two or three turns.

“You suck.”

“Thanks. You’re heavy…throws off my balance.”

“You still suck.”

“Stop bitching and tell me if the next street is right. I’m all turned around not being in a car.”

“Yep…next street.”

“You gonna fill me in what this is all about?”

“Eventually, yeah. How long will you be in town?”

“’til Monday. I only had one radio show today, then I was off anyway.”

“Cool…”

They pulled into Ben’s driveway and Nick heaved a sigh of relief as Ben hopped off the handle bars and Nick could finally steer with some control. Too bad they were at their destination.

“God, I suck.”

“I told you.”

As they went inside, Nick stopped for a moment, messing with the latch on the screen door. No one had said anything about it. Surely they knew he was behind it. But, they knew he didn’t want to be found out, so they kept it quiet. Nice. His next call was to get that fool step on the front porch fixed. If nothing else, he was sick of fearing for his life every time he forgot and stepped on it.

“Okay, just…sit here while I make a phone call, huh?”

“Yeah, whatever. When’s everyone else get home?”

Ben shrugged as he disappeared into the kitchen to get the phone. “Kitty went to a friend’s after school. Jack and Liz should be home in…he looked up at the clock over his bed…about 15 minutes.”

Ben dialed the phone and paced nervously, hoping someone would be home. He had to take care of this now. He was not going to allow this situation to haunt him one more moment if he could help it.

Finally…someone answered.

“Erin? It’s…it’s Ben. I need you to come over. We gotta talk.”