“You ready, Muñe?” Nick peeked into Rosalie’s room, smiling as she popped off her socks and tossed them haphazardly onto the floor.

“Yep. Where’s Mamí?”

“She’s comin’…hop in bed and we’ll be ready for her, okay?”

Rosalie turned off her light and crawled under the covers, lifting the side up for Nick to crawl in next to her. “My bed’s not big for two like yours, Nicky.”

“Nope, we’ll snuggle tho’, just like we did today.”

“I liked that…can you pick me up all the time from school? I don’t like Mrs. Burns.”

“I thought your teacher was Miss Fernandez.”

“It is. Mrs. Burns watches us after school. She’s mean.”

“Rosalinda…you shouldn’t talk that way about your teachers. Mrs. Burns is just different from what you’re used to.” Lani popped Nick’s legs so he’d scoot over, giving her room to sit down at the foot of the bed. “You two look like caterpillars all wrapped up.”

“Yep, in the morning, I’ll be un mariposa muy bonita!”

“You already are a beautiful butterfly, Muñe.”

“Where’d you get that nickname for her?” Lani gave up on the small corner she’d been allotted for her backside and slid to the floor, resting her head on Nick’s arm at the edge of the bed.

“I just saw a daddy calling his little girl that at the airport, I think. It just…fits, I guess. It’s not bad is it?”

“You don’t even know what it means?”

“No, I guess not.”

“Goof…it means, um…” Lani thought for a minute and tilted her head back to see her daughter curled up into the crook of Nick’s arm almost asleep, or playing possum so well, she might as well be asleep. Who cares what it meant? “It doesn’t translate exactly. I guess it’s kind of like baby…muñequita is dollbaby…sort of.”

“Then it fits.” He looked down at the sleeping bundle of snuggles and curls and kissed her head. “How am I gonna get out of here without waking her? This is how I ended up napping today too.”

“Wanna spend the night?”

“Not in this bed, I don’t…”

Without much fuss, Nick weaseled his way out of Rosalie’s grasp and was finally able to steal away some private moments with Lani.

Only Lani no longer had kissing and tasting and feeling in mind. She was in the mood to talk.

“Did I hear her ask you to pick her up from school all the time?”

“Yeah…I thought she liked it there okay.”

“She likes preschool, but she’s right, Mrs. Burns is a bit of a witch. I’m not fond of her either, but I don’t have a lot of options.”

“Well, I can’t get her every day, but…maybe on Fridays or something? Something for both of us to look forward to?”

“Nick, no. She’s not your responsibility. Ro needs to learn now that there are going to be adults in your life that you just don’t like sometimes.”

“So, she lives with her four days a week and me one…when I’m in town. I can’t even do it every week.”

“No. I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking. I’m offering.”

“I don’t know, Nick….”

“What are you so afraid of, Lani? You’d rather leave her with a woman who doesn’t give two cents about her over me?”

“No, that’s not it…I just…it’s just…” Lani got up from the comfort of the couch to fix herself a drink, not really thirsty, but in need of a separation for a moment. When she saw Nick get up to follow she shot a glare that put him right back in his seat. “…I’m just afraid, Nick…”

He sat for a minute picking at his fingernails wondering if he should wait until she returned to continue this conversation or make one more attempt at joining her in the kitchen. Seeing the look in her previous glare, he decided to wait it out. But, without missing a beat.

She returned with two beer bottles and her bottom hadn’t hit the couch before he asked the question that he wasn’t quite sure he wanted to hear an answer to. “What of, Lani? What are you so afraid of?”

“Well, like tonight. You left her on the counter with a hot burner and hot sauce…”

“Did she touch anything?”

“No, but she could have.”

“Yep. She could have while I was standing there, too, Lani. You don’t turn your back on her now and then in the kitchen?”

“Well, sure, but I’m there. We got wrapped up in…” she watched him take a swig of his beer, trying not the let the movement of his Adam’s Apple lure her into complacency. This was her daughter’s well-being they were discussing. She gulped down some of her own drink and tried to continue. “…in each other and…that wasn’t smart.”

“Probably not, but Lani…who am I makin’ out with when you’re not here?”

“You’re missing the point.”

“The point is, you don’t think I’m responsible enough to watch her…”

“No, it’s not that…it’s just…”

“What is it then, Lani? We went to the park, we took a nap, just like I promised. Hell, I even cooked dinner, we bathed her and got her to bed. Tell me how that’s not taking good care of her.”

“It is, Nick. It is. You love her very much.” Lani looked down at her lap, wishing she could pin-point what it was she was afraid of. And then it hit her. “And that’s what I’m afraid of.”

“That I love her? Lani?”

“That you’ll leave her, Nick. That something will happen and she’s so in love with you…and I’m…” she reached up and touched his face, brushing her thumb across his cheek, knowing that with every touch, every glance, she fell more and more in love with him, in spite of how much she fought against it. “…I’m so in love with you, and…”

“I’m not going anywhere, Lani…you can’t keep me from her because you’re afraid I won’t be here tomorrow.”

“She deserves consistency, Nick. I can’t risk her heart anymore.”

“What about mine?”

Nick grabbed the beer bottles and tossed them into the recycling bin, wondering how much heart burn he’d have from them. It had to be the most tense downing of 12 ounces of brew he’d ever experienced. Besides the tension from their conversation about trust, love and commitment, he had something else he needed to tell her and wasn’t sure how well it’d go over.

Before he got back, Lani was up, meeting him half way, her arms extended, obviously wanting to call some sort of truce to the tension. Nick was all for it.

“I’m sorry, baby…I’ve just raised her alone from day one…”

“I know you have. You can’t protect her forever tho’.”

“No, I know I can’t…I just want to.” Nick chuckled, his head resting on hers as their embrace continued to heal the tension, distrust and ill-spoken accusations from their previous discussion.

“You just have to trust that I want to protect her too. When I say I love her…when I say I love you…” he lifted her chin up with his finger and softly kissed her lips and each eye lid, “I mean it. And Lani, I’ve never felt like this before.”

“I haven’t either…maybe that’s why I’m so afraid.”

“…maybe…I just don’t like the feeling that you don’t trust me.”

Lani squeezed Nick tighter and pulled away only to take hold of his hand and lead him back to the couch. “So, you two had a good day?”

“We’re done with this conversation, aren’t we?”

“For now, yes. Nothing you can do to fix it…I just need to let go…somehow.”

Nick nodded and looked at Lani, trying to imagine the connection you would have to a child you’d given birth to. A child you had taken part in creating. As much as he loved Ro, he knew he’d love his own more. And yes, probably have trouble letting anyone care properly for her, especially if her life had started with emptiness like Rosalie’s had. Like Amy’s had. Ben too. What the hell was it with men and their kids? How do you walk away from your own flesh and blood like that?

Suddenly, he noticed Lani’s hand waving in his face and her voice cut through his thoughts. “…want to hear about it. Rosalie acted weird about the park. Did something happen there?”

“Huh? Oh. Yeah, the park. Nothing special. Slides, swings, played Frisbee a bit…as much as you can with her.”

He was hiding something and Lani knew it. After the games she had to play to get Patty to talk earlier in the day, as well as her lousy morning and an afternoon verbal sparring with José, she wasn’t in the mood to drag information out of anyone, especially Nick. “You see someone?”

“What did Ro say to you?” Nick’s heart rate increased and he hoped it wasn’t obvious. He swore to himself that he wasn’t going to alarm her. Rosalie had felt his alarm enough as it was and he’d finally calmed her down and convinced her that he had been mistaken, probably used to fans stalking him and following him. She believed him and now Lani would have to as well.

“Nick…you lie like hell. What happened?”

“Nothing, Lani…wanna watch a movie?”

“Oh hell no, Mr. You want me to trust you with her? To believe you have her best interests at heart over your own and you’re going to play games with me today? I don’t think so.”

“Lani, trust me, please. It’s nothing. We went to the park, we played, we got exhausted, we went back to my place, watched Dora, fell asleep and made dinner. End of day, end of story.” He needed another beer and got up quickly to retrieve one. “Want another beer?”

“No, and you don’t either…get back here.”

“Yeah, I really do.” Desperately. Immediately. Three or four if possible.

“Nick…”

Seeing the pleading in her eyes and remembering that the previous discussion had been all about trust, taking the responsibility of Rosalie seriously, showing how much he cared for them above and beyond anyone he’d ever cared for…he knew he had to cave. And he knew it would do nothing to help Lani’s over-protective nature with her daughter.

In fact, it would probably make it worse.

Lani convinced Nick that pop would be a better beverage choice and went to her back patio to finish the conversation. To start the conversation. Something.

“Start talking, Gringo.”

“Oh, so I’m Gringo now, huh?” He winked over his glass and kissed her cheek, taking a deep breath to begin his story. “Rosalie sucks at Frisbee.”

“Yes, she does. She’s four.”

“Yes, she is. So, we’re playing Frisbee. Well, I was playing, she was…whatever the hell it is she tries to do with that thing. Toss it to the furthest corner of the park so I can run for it, I guess.”

“Aw, poor baby…you tired?”

“Yes, she’s gonna make me old before my time.”

Lani rubbed her thumb and forefinger together in the motion of a violin bow and violin, putting on full pout for him. “So sorry…”

“You’re no help…she flung it and it shot straight to the parking lot. I stopped her from running after it and got it…but it landed at this dude’s feet. He’d picked it up and I took it from him and thanked him, no biggie.”

“Right…”

“Fortunately, she got tired of me never catching her throws…cuz you know, I couldn’t catch ‘em because I suck.”

“Yes, you suck.”

He leaned in and softly suckled on her neck to prove his point and to hopefully, possibly divert her attention from the matter at hand. Sucking was a much nicer topic. “Mmm…you still taste good.”

“Yes, I do. And you suck very well…you stopped playing Frisbee…”

“You’re no fun.” When he sat back up straight, he saw that she was not in a joking mood, and the truth of it was, she shouldn’t be. He just didn’t want to deal with this. “…yeah, so we went to the swings and I’m pushing her, she’s singing some silly song from Dora or school. I dunno. She has me cracking up either way. Next thing I know, there’s this dude again.”

Lani’s eyes bugged out, instantly understanding the discomfort of the situation. “Was he following you or her?”

“I didn’t know…happens all the time, but not normally with men, you know?”

“Yeah, exactly…”

“Right, so I just kind of smile at him and nod, turning my attention back to Ro. He doesn’t leave. He’s just hanging there.”

“Shit…”

“So, I suggest we get off the swings, make up some shit that my arms are tired or something and she wants to jump off. For some reason, I didn’t want her too. I don’t know whether I thought this dude was gonna catch her in mid-air or what. I just didn’t feel comfortable.”

“So, did she?”

“No, and she was pissed at me too. Said that I’m just like you.”

“Great. I guess I do need to chill a bit, huh?”

“Just a bit, yeah…gotta let her be a kid, Lani.” Lani sighed and leaned her head on Nick’s shoulders, rubbing the soft skin of his arm as he continued the story. “So, she grumbles her way to the slide and we play there, forgetting everything after a few times down…she’s all excited because I let her crawl back up the thing.”

“Were other kids waiting?”

“Lani…god…yes. There were 140 other kids in line and I let her hog the thing all for herself. Would you give me a break?”

“Sorry…slide. Playing. Where’s the man?”

“Nowhere. For awhile. She even got me to go down the damned thing…was afraid my ass would get stuck on it. I don’t remember slides ever being that skinny.”

“They don’t remember your ass ever being that wide.”

“I don’t like you anymore.”

“You love me.”

“Yes, yes I do…” He pulled back from her taking her hands in his and looking deep into her eyes. “I do love you, Lani, and I love Rosalie and…and I don’t know what to make of all of this.”

“Where was the man…did you ever find out who he was?”

“No, I didn’t, but…he wouldn’t stop watching us. We saw him kind of standing behind the tunnels when we left, like he’d been there the whole time we were on the slide.”

“Jesus, Nick…what did he want?”

“I don’t know, but I had a thought…”

“Yeah? Besides the fact that you’re not going to that park for awhile.”

“Well, yeah, besides that…um, Lani…” He took a deep breath and kissed her before he asked. “What does Neron look like?”