Minutes that felt like hours passed while Lani could do nothing more than stare out her window into the darkened yard as she waited for Nick to return with a simple beverage. She watched the palm tree, their palm tree, sway in the breeze, the occasional palm leaf bend into the faint brightness of a nearby street light. She wished for her own street light to illuminate things a bit for herself. For the first time in her years as a mom, she truly felt in the dark. Rule number one, love them. Rule number two, love them when you’d rather not bother and rule number three? Love them some more. She could do that and she knew she did it well.

Now, however, compassion for her daughter’s well being didn’t seem to be enough. There were other people involved, other hearts to consider, lifelong decisions to be made in only nanoseconds of time. “Can I come see Ro today?” There was no time to think. No time to wonder how it would affect her, Ro, Nick, Neron. It seemed harmless, and in looking at it from the outside, it was harmless.

But this wasn’t a matter to be looked at from the outside. This was a heart matter. The baby is hungry, you feed it. The baby is dirty, you change it. The toddler is cranky, you lay it down for a nap or feed it or distract it. The preschooler is confused, you educate it. The little girl is having to choose between her heart and her blood? No fix was obvious. No answer was written in a book. No solution stared blatantly in her face just waiting to be executed. So, she ended up hurting and confusing her daughter. And in hurting and confusing her daughter, she’d hurt and confused Nick. And in hurting and confusing Nick, she’d just downright disgusted herself.

Lani leaned forward, letting her forehead rest on the cool glass of the window, hoping its chill would slow down the whirling and spinning in her brain.

“Here you go.” The brush of the cold can hit her arm and Lani lifted her head and turned, taking the drink from Nick without meeting his eyes. “Do…do you just want to be alone to-…?”

“No.” She pulled back at her quick reply, smiling shyly at her need. It was unusual, to be sure. “I’m sorry. You must be tired. Maybe you want your own bed.”

“I’m fine, Lani. I just…” Nick sighed and fell into the rocking chair by the window. The one he’d found her curled up in when her house had been broken into. The one he figured housed her and Ro many a night for feedings and tummy aches. “…I am tired. And…” he took her hand in his making her look at him, the seriousness in his gaze cutting through the dark room. “…I’m angry and I don’t feel like I have any right to be.”

“Take a number. Ro’s angry with me too.”

“Yeah, she is. We’ll both get over it.” Nick shrugged and let go of her hand, finishing off his drink and crinkling the can in his palm. “We’ll get over it.”

“I don’t want you to ‘get over it’. I want to make it right.”

“I’m not so sure what ‘right’ is.”

“I’m not either, Nick. But I’m sensing letting Neron hang around isn’t it, huh?”

“That’s the thing, Lani. It’s not for me to decide.” He crunched the can tighter and began to mindlessly rock the chair.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah.”

The squeak of the rarely-used chair cut through the awkwardness in the room, it’s rhythmic pace running up Lani’s back. She tapped the can in his hand and stopped his rocking with her hip. “Is that my head you’re crushing or Neron’s?”

He squeezed the metal again and took her hand, pulling her down onto his lap. “It’s nobody’s head.” Dropping his crinkled mess onto the floor, he took her drink and placed it on the windowsill, beginning to rock again, letting her curl up in his arms, her gentle massage of his arm matching his gentle brushing of her hair over her shoulders. “We’ll get through this, okay?”

She nodded against his shoulder and placed a soft kiss on his neck, listening to the rhythmic squeak of the chair meld into her thoughts, her fears and her anxieties, allowing Nick’s comfort to calm her, assure her and give her reason to know that he was right.

They would get through this.

How they got from anger-induced stillness to passion-laden silence, Lani wasn’t sure, but she did know that feeling Nick’s arms so gently, yet firmly holding her up and breathing in his scent as they rocked all of their questions away became too much for her to bear.

Besides, his neck was right there and her lips were only millimeters away. What was she supposed to do? Ignore that?

She was now standing, slipping his shirt up over his head, quickly making use of the opportunity to shed her own cotton skin. She took his hands and brought them up to cup her breasts, tugging gently on his wrists to bring him to the bed.

Lani scooted in, Nick crawled on, Lani kissed and licked, Nick suckled and nipped. Before long, limbs were tangling, bottom garments were dropping to the floor and flesh was meeting with flesh, blending soft with firm, warmth with wetness, graceful with clumsy, love with lust and mostly, anger with passion. Thoughts of Neron had long left the room. Feelings of incompetence were temporarily silenced. Doubts, questions, fears all escaped as they moved as one, the unity they knew was truth above all else.

Their rhythm was slow and measured, their connection complete and absolute. Lani’s hand reached up to cup Nick’s face in her palm, brush his cheek with her thumb, knowing that when questions surrounded her, somehow, someway, the answers to her life were in this man. This silly boy-man who had come into her office with the attitude of a total rock star and opened himself up to all the possibilities that a life of vulnerable love can offer. And here she was reaping the benefits.

“I love you so much, Nick.” Her head lifted to meet his lips as he thrust into her, holding himself there, feeling her body squeeze around him, love him, comfort him, strengthen him. She felt the silkiness of his hair brush against her cheek as he nuzzled into her neck whispering his own words of love, promise and devotion, gently pushing into her with each declaration. Their eyes met again, their intensity increased and the feelings of love became temporarily squashed by pure animalistic need. Need for pressure, need for tension, need for complete, fulfilling, satisfying release.

They silenced as their bodies settled, the small beads of sweat suddenly became noticeable, their breath returned to normal and the mixed desires of sleep and a repeat performance clouded their minds. He fell to her side, pulling her in close and kissing her head. Nothing was said as they shifted the comforter out from under their nakedness allowing sleep to take over where the passions left off.

Tomorrow they’d talk. Tomorrow they’d try to find answers. Tonight was for them, for love, for reunion, for passion.

Mañana. There was always mañana.

Ah, mañana. Somehow one mañana can turn into la mañana de mañana de mañana. The next thing you know, two weeks have passed and nothing has been discussed, which is exactly what happened to Nick and Lani. Neron hadn’t reared his ugly head, so all seemed well. All seemed fine. Any threats of the perfectly contented life they had carved out for themselves seemed to have disappeared. Besides, it was so much easier to believe that than to acknowledge the elephant in the room.

“Come see what Abuela got me, Nicky!” Ro tugged at Nick’s hand before both feet were across the threshold of the front door.

“What Abuela got you? Christmas was only a month ago!”

“She loves me.”

“I love you too, but I don’t buy you stuff all the time.”

Rosalie stopped dragging him down the hall and let his hand drop between them. Her hands plopped firmly on her hips and her head cocked like an attentive mop eared dog. “You want to see or not? We’re just getting ready to start.”

Nick’s eyebrow raised, his heart melted and the women of his life came and took full residence of his faculties. Again.

Lani was already in her place at the small table in Rosalie’s room. The table that was typically littered with drawings and school papers and books. It had been literally brushed clear, the pile of papers unceremoniously dumped onto the floor with a perfectly measured 4 yr. old arm. Dora sat next to Lani and 2 empty chairs remained. “You sit across from Mamí. By Dora and me.”

Rosalie waited for her new guest to get as settled as humanly possible into the miniature chair. She kissed his cheek and turned her back on her guests, collecting all she needed to make the party happen.

Nick and Lani’s eyes met, Nick’s full of question and Lani’s full of giggles. “Tea, my sweet. It’s time for mid-afternoon tea.”

“Si! And then we siesta. Or pretend to anyway.” Rosalie clunked and clanged her new tea set getting everything just so for her guests.

“Ah, real tea and pretend naps…sounds like a perfect party to me.” Nick winked to Lani and stopped himself short of winking at the doll sitting to his right. He almost didn’t catch himself.

Rosalie turned, tray in hand and a perfect waitress smile to boot. “Here we go! Tea, and Mamí let me get some Christmas cookies out of the freezer.” She set the tray down and quickly poured tea into their miniature cups being as careful as possible not to spill. She didn’t do too bad. Placing the teapot back onto the tray, she smoothed her skirt under her bottom and sat down across from Dora, leaning in to share one small secret with Nick first. “It’s really apple juice. Mamí says I won’t like tea.”

“Mamí’s a smart lady.”

“Pretty too, huh?”

“Ahem!! I’m right here, you two goofs. Are we gonna drink or gossip?”

Nick lifted his cup and clinked sides with Ro, Lani and even Dora. “I say we drink and gossip. Isn’t that what high tea is for?”

They all took dainty sips from their teacups and grabbed at the cookies at the same time, all three hands landing on the exact same meringue drop. Nick’s hand landed first, but he pulled his hand out from the pile and found another cookie suggesting maybe Dora wanted a meringue drop. Rosalie felt the advantage and took it, popping a bite into her mouth, talking around her chew. “Not my fault she’s a doll and is slow.”

“You’re not a very generous host, Muñe.”

“I am. I’m also hungry.”

The trio ate and giggled, the adults groaned at the small chairs and the cookies almost disappeared.

Almost that is, until the doorbell rang. Ro jumped to get it, but Lani rose as quickly as she could, moaning as her body popped and unfolded. “No, baby. Let me stretch a little. Ben said he’d come by today. I bet it’s him.”

But it wasn’t.

Lani returned with a nervous giggle and full apologies written all over her face.

And with another guest to the tea party. An uninvited one.

“Ro, we have another guest for the party. How ‘bout Dora give up her seat for him?”

Ro and Nick looked up from their love affair and dropped their cookies. Squeezing Ro’s hand, Nick stood to be polite. And maybe to break a few fingers while he shook the schmuck’s hand.

“Neron. Nice to see you again.” His words were kind, his glare was not.

Neron simply nodded and bent down to take Dora from the chair, smiling at Ro as he did.

“You do not touch her.”

“Rosalinda!” Lani took her seat, squeezing Rosalie’s shoulder when her daughter’s heart overruled her manners.

Rosalie’s eyes never left Neron until he righted himself and waited for further instruction. Nick just sat in his mini chair and tried his hardest not to laugh. This wasn’t funny, but Rosalie was a force to be reckoned with. He loved fiery women. Her gaze slowly turned to her mother and she ripped herself away from Lani’s grasp. “This tea party is full. He can sit on the bed.”

Lani opened her mouth to say something, but Neron lifted his hand and did as the child asked. “It’s okay, Solana. I’ll sit here.”

Rosalie glared at the man and looked to Nick for…something. She smiled at his wink and felt like she could do this with him here. “You want tea, Neron? There are more cups in the box behind you.”

“Yes, por favor.”

Ro picked up the pot and started out of the room.

“Rosalinda…where are you going?”