Nick sat back down on the bed, leaning into Lani’s massage as Ben started talking and crying and hiccupping and sputtering. “Ben, slow down…sl- sl – slow…” He gave up and just let him rant and rave, figuring he’d pull details out later. At one point, he even let Lani listen in seeing if she could pick up anything.

All he could get was Aaron, drinking, drugs, girls, sex, uncomfortable, not me, scared, and lots of sniffing between words. As the few words did settle in, Nick realized that part of the reason he wasn’t understanding was because he was so angry at what he could understand that his mind was simply fogging over.

Finally silence came across the phone lines and Nick took a breath and tried to figure out where to start. “Okay, where are you now?”

“In your house. Aaron’s over…at his…he’s got a girl…”

“Not in my house, right?”

“No, he said you’d kill him.”

“Damned straight. I might have to do that anyway.”

“No! No, Nick – if he finds out I called…”

“Well, Ben, what is it you want me to do then? If you don’t want him to know you’ve called me, how can I fix it?”

“I dunno…I feel so stupid.”

“Ben, you’re not stupid. You’re smart. You’re scared, you called me. We’ll figure something out.” He looked to Lani for ideas and she made an airplane sign with her hands. “Do you want me to fly down there and get you?”

“Maybe? Nick…”

“Want me to just fly down and kill him?”

“You’re making fun of me.”

“Ben, Jesus…I am not.” Nick fell back onto the bed and rolled his eyes at Lani, trying to hide his deep sigh. “Okay, you want out, am I right?”

“Yeah…but I don’t want Aaron to think I’m some kind of pussy.”

“Fuck Aaron right now, Ben. This is about you.” He looked at his watch and heaved another sigh as he sat back up, kissing Lani as he left her to go log onto her computer. “Lemme see what kind of flights I can find. Can you make it through tonight?”

“Yeah – I’ll be okay.”

“Do you want me to get you home early or should I come down there…what do you want, dude?”

“To stop feeling like an idiot.”

“What makes you an idiot? That you won’t do something you don’t want to do?”

“I thought…I didn’t think…” Ben sighed and Nick could hear him getting ice from the freezer. “…I didn’t think Aaron was into this shit. Why didn’t you tell me? You know some of this is hard for me to stay away from.”

“Ben, I tried to warn you. And…” Nick leaned back in the chair and stopped web surfing for a miracle. “…I guess I didn’t realize it was that bad – or that he’d be that bad around you – or that – Jesus, I have no idea what I was thinking. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. I’m just mad…I swore I’d stay away from the weed and I didn’t. I didn’t wanna look like a pussy.” Gulps followed and a satisfying burp put an exclamation point on Ben’s statement.

“Nice one. Did he pressure you?”

“No. Just being there is pressure, man.”

“Okay, I’m finding a flight that leaves at…Christ…6:30 tomorrow morning. Is that soon enough?”

“Nick, you don’t have to…”

“What do you want me to do, Ben!?” His raised voice brought Lani in from the room. As usual, her presence alone calmed him.

“Don’t you just have a magic wand or something?”

Nick quickly clicked through the website and booked his flight for two tickets, shocked when Lani stopped him just in time from going alone. “No magic wand, but Lani and I will be there around…um, looks like 9 in the morning. We have to fly into Key West.”

“Miss Romero too? Christ…”

“Yeah – Miss Romero too. We didn’t set a return flight, so if you wanna leave right away, stay, whatever…”

“I’m so embarrassed.”

“I’m the one embarrassed, Ben. I’m sorry…and just gear up because I’m going to kill my brother…for starters.”

“Shit.”

“You sure you’re okay tonight?”

“What would you do if I wasn’t?”

“Get in my car and drive – I could be there in about 7 hours.”

“No. Tomorrow. I’ll just…dig through your movies here. We’ve got food and,” he slugged back another gulp and belched again. “…drink, so I’m good. Maybe I’ll email Erin or something.”

“You are drinking water, yes?”

“Yes!”

“Sorry. Have…have you had any fun at all?”

“Yeah. I have. It’s not a total loss.”

“Okay. I’ll be there in the morning. Just keep to yourself, okay?”

Lani took the phone from Nick’s hand after she heard the good bye’s and kissed his neck before he could speak. “Don’t even start blaming yourself for this, Nick.”

“Whothefuckelse am I supposed to blame?”

“Um, how ‘bout Aaron’s father? You know, the adult who’s supposed to be in charge?”

“Why would he be in charge now, huh? He hasn’t been for years.”

Lani took hold of Nick’s hand and led him back to the bedroom, quietly listening to him rant and rave about his stupid family, his stupid brother, his stupid ideas and his stupid stupidity. She slid his shorts back down over his waist, wanting to get back to where they had been interrupted, wondering if he was even paying any attention.

She decided to keep going until he had no choice. Pushing him onto the bed, she stripped off her nightshirt and straddled his thighs, leaning up to let her nipples brush his bare chest. His hands said ‘yes’, sliding up her arms and burying into her hair, but his furrowed brow still said ‘no’. Gently kissing the wrinkles between his eyes, she giggled as she felt them relax beneath her lips and his warm hands go back to where they had been before the phone call – surrounding her breasts, helping his mind ignore what his body had already forgotten.

“What am I gonna do, Lani?”

“About Ben? Tonight, nothing.” She yanked the pillows out from behind him and dangled her breasts near his mouth as he fell fully on his back. “Tonight…” she hissed as his tongue and lips covered her nipple, “…tonight you’re gonna do me.”

As Nick pulled the rental car into his family’s property, he looked to Lani and let his hand leave the steering wheel, taking hers from her lap. “Thanks for comin’ – you probably just saved my brother’s life.”

“If you’ll have me, I can help talk to him too – I’m used to this kind of crap from kids.”

“I might…I just don’t know what to say, what to do, where to turn. My god, he’s my brother, and it’s my family, but I just don’t feel like I know any of them anymore. Or even WANT to!”

“I know. I wrote my brother off years ago. Let’s see if we can’t avoid that this time, huh?”

Ben ran out of Nick’s small home and Lani sat wide eyed. “This is your home? It’s a little hut!”

“Yep. Just wanted a small place and stuff. Gave the land to mom and dad, had this little thing built and all hell broke loose. I’ve never lived in it.”

As Lani gaped, Nick got out and slung an arm around Ben, leading him back into the house so no one would catch the tears coming out of Ben’s eyes again.

“Were you okay last night?”

“Yeah…yeah. It was kinda cool, actually. Walked out to the water and stuff. Came in, watched a movie, fell asleep like a little baby.”

“Then why the tears this morning?”

“Because I feel like an idiot.”

Lani stumbled in, too awestruck at the simple charm of this tiki hut home. “Nick, I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“Thanks. I didn’t – hired a decorator.” He popped her in the butt and went to the fridge happy that it was stocked well. At least the kid hadn’t starved. Grabbing water bottles for everyone, he gave one more look of confidence to Ben. “Okay, I’m gonna go scare the shit outta my brother. You two just stay here.”

“You sure you wanna do that alone?”

“Lani, I can’t tell you how sure I am. Might wanna find my video camera and tape this though. We could make a mint selling it on ebay.”

“I think I’ll just stay here.”

“Can I watch?”

Lani grabbed Ben and sat him on the couch, tossing him the remote. “Veg in front of the TV – and enjoy it. I’ll never tell you to do that again.”

Nick took a deep breath and walked outside, standing on his porch and just staring at the property around him. It was to have been his escape, his refuge, his sanctuary – and it never happened. Who would want to live in the middle of all of his family’s shit? He knew he didn’t…and the truth was, he didn’t want to deal with it right now either.

As he approached the main house, old feelings of tension and stress washed over him in a way that made him stop before he even opened the door to his brother’s downstairs apartment. How had his home, at one time, the place that actually was his refuge and sanctuary, turned into the place he least wanted to be? Inhabited by the people he most least wanted to be with? Had his absence done that? Had his success done that? Or maybe it was his recent failure? And why was he suddenly feeling responsible for a mess that he truly did nothing to create?

It was the way of the Carter’s for years and he was about to put an end to it.

Nick flung the screen door open and pushed the lightweight wooden door hard enough that it cracked against the wall. No one locked their doors out here – no one could get into this place uninvited. The stench from Aaron’s two room apartment hit him as soon as his foot crossed the threshold. Marijuana, beer, sex, and god knew what else. At one time, that combination would almost make Nick hard. It was the smell of a good night. Now – it made him queasy. His brother wasn’t supposed to follow his tracks this closely.

As he pushed the beaded divider aside into Aaron’s bedroom, he felt like he was looking into a time machine. A mirrored time machine. Gangly teenaged male legs stuck out from underneath tangled bed sheets. Shapely feminine legs tangled the sheets in another direction and a curtain of brown hair peeked out near the sloppily piled pillows. No sign of Aaron’s head and no one had budged from Nick’s noisy entrance.

He seethed as he looked around the room. Bottles of beer littered the floor, spent roaches filled ashtrays and saucers from his dad’s kitchen. Looking more closely at the dresser, Nick’s calm anger gave way to fury when he saw the familiar site of cocaine paraphernalia. He’d known. He had. He ignored. He didn’t want to face it. He didn’t want to listen to Aaron arguing his preaching. He didn’t want to parent the child. It wasn’t his job.

And look where that logic had taken him. At his brother’s bedside, ready to blow a gasket because he had crossed a line. A line Nick never imagined he would ever have. A line that said, “the safety of my new family is more important than the happiness of my blood.” He gave up his attempt at being calm and bent over the foot of the bed, yanking the sheets and blankets off the sleeping bodies.

“What the FUCK!?”

Aaron unearthed stark naked, jumping over the brunette and onto the floor, grabbing the sheet out of Nick’s hand to cover up. Or attempting to. Nick wouldn’t let go.

“Nope. Be naked.”

Nick finally took his eyes off of his shocked brother and looked to the bed, seeing not one, but two young girls clinging onto each other for some sort of protection from their nudity.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Aaron found his comforter, tossed aside hours before, and threw it on the bed to help cover the girls.

“What am I doing??” He chucked the sheet to Aaron, sick of seeing his dangerously skinny body shivering in the air conditioned cold. “You’ve left Ben over at my house totally alone…you- you-…”

“I had a girl for Ben! He’s the one who pussied out! What’d he do, call you crying or something?”

“Shut up! Just…” Nick scoured the room for anything that resembled female clothing and threw it onto the bed. “Get dressed and get the fuck out. Party’s over.”

The girls didn’t move but to look to Aaron, fear written all over their faces.

Aaron saw his boxers and slipped them on, telling the girls to get dressed and wait in his truck. “I’ll get you home…Christ.”

Nick glared at his brother as the girls scurried to get their clothes on, bras dangling from their arms instead of taking the time to put them on, the tense silence making them clumsy and awkward, not the hot hootchies Aaron had seem them as hours before. As the brunette walked by Nick on her way out, her demeanor changed and she flipped her hair in his face.

“You’re still a better fuck, Nick. He needs work.”

Nick’s blood ran cold as he slowly turned to look the tart in the eye. Sure enough, he’d been with her. One of the little hootchies at a local bar that he’d picked up one of his first nights after moving to Marathon. Aaron was fucking his leftovers. “Get. Out.”

As her partner in crime disappeared outside, she was feeling brave, her embarrassment completely gone by way of cocky pride. “Wanna meet up later? Maybe with your brother? Hands on training, you know?”

Pushing women around wasn’t something Nick ever wanted to go back to from his days of drinking and drugging, but today his priorities had skewed. Besides, she was a far cry from a ‘woman’. She was mud. One hand landed on her shoulder and the other grabbed her arm as Nick forcefully escorted her to the door and shoved her outside, slamming the wooden door behind her. He spun around to his brother who was trying to hide evidence of the night’s debauchery.

“Give it up, bro. You’re fucked.”

Aaron stood from picking up beer bottles and wobbled, having to sit back down on the bed. “Not like you’ve never done this shit before.”

“Not the point, Aaron. I sent Ben here because I thought you two could…I thought…” Nick looked down at his hands and remembered that he still had a pair of thongs hanging off of a finger. He angrily shot it across the room and screamed. No words came out, just animalistic rage. He seethed as Aaron sat, the haze of the drugs and booze still evident in his blank stare. “I TRUSTED you!” Nick grabbed a full ashtray and flung it across the room, only his shouts overpowering the crash against the wall. “I fucking TRUSTED you!!”

“What do you want me to say, Nick, huh? I didn’t think he was so uptight!”

“He’s 14, Aaron! He doesn’t live your life. He doesn’t…are you this completely clueless?”

“I’m sorry, Nick…I thought he’d play along. I thought…”

“You thought nothing. You thought about you and only you – just like da-…”

“Nick?”

He swirled around at the familiar voice and wanted to die of embarrassment. Lani wasn’t supposed to see this part of his life. This mess that his family was. “Baby – go back to the house.”

“No…” She stepped inside and smiled at Aaron, patting Nick’s arm as she walked by him. “…looks like you had a heckuva party goin’ here.”

“Yeah. Guess so.”

She gave Nick a look that told him to leave and for reasons he didn’t quite understand, he did just that, grabbing the keys to Aaron’s truck on the way out mumbling something about getting the girls home. As the screen door slammed behind him he bumped square into Ben.

“Is he mad at me?”

“You don’t need to worry about that, Ben.” He draped his arm around Ben’s shoulder and walked him away from the main house, away from the truck with the girls in it, away – so he hoped – from the nightmare that had become his brother. “Are you mad at me?”

“Huh? Why would I be?”

“I trusted Aaron – you trusted me. I fucked up.”

“Uh, no. Aaron fucked up…”

Not wanting to discuss it one second more, Nick looked into the distance at his house and sighed. “You okay for a few minutes more? I wanna get the girls at least to the main drag. K-Mart. Something. God.”

“I’m good. I’m…I’m sorry, Nick.”

“No, I am. I knew this wasn’t a good idea and should have stopped you from coming. I just thought you’d never forgive me.”

“I probably wouldn’t have.”

“I guess we’re both stupid then.”

“Eh, it’s worked for two years – I’d say our stupid’s good.”