It was going to be a classic. One of those pranks that we'd sit around and laugh at when we were older. I knew that I was going to make them all laugh their heads silly. I always did.
I climbed onto the bus way before we even had to be out of the hotel. It was a winter day in Madrid, Spain. The cobble-stone streets had a light, icy covering over them. My tennis shoes slipped under my feet as I hurried up the steps to the bus. Not even the driver had gotten on, but knew that it would be unlocked. Johnny and the guys had taken to loading the bus a little at time whenever we'd been somewhere for awhile. And we'd been in Madrid more than three weeks. It was time to move on, but we weren't moving on until I pulled a good prank on them. It just wouldn't be me.
I munched on some chips and other junk we had onboard while I waited to see some kind of movement. They were all at breakfast when I sneaked out, and not even Brian had seen me. They probably thought that I was still asleep or wandering around outside stretching my legs before having to sit for a long time.
"...around the main square," I heard Johnny say.
That was my cue. I hurried to the back bathroom and closed the door. I knew they wouldn't even look there for awhile because we all made it a point to take a leak anywhere else but the bus. It was just uncomfortable and bumpy.
I was on my way.
It was like playing hide and go seek and picking the best spot. I knew that I was well-hidden, but at the same time I wanted someone to find me and tell me what a good job I had done. I also harbored some fear that they were going to stop looking for me at some point. I mean, I knew they wouldn't leave without me, but I wasn't sure exactly how long they'd look.
I glanced at my watch, only five minutes had passed since I'd heard Johnny's voice. This was going to take awhile.
After another fifteen, I heard some of the guys' voices on the bus.
"...been here for awhile," I heard Howie say.
"Yeah," AJ replied. "I never thought I'd admit it, but I've kind of missed the bus."
"You have? What are you? Insane?" Howie said.
AJ didn't reply right away, but I heard them opening and closing the cabinet doors.
"Think we have enough muchies, D?" AJ asked.
"Yeah. Kev and I stocked up last night. We still have another ten minutes if you wanna go get something else?"
"Naw," AJ began. "I think this'll--."
"Anybody seen Nick?" I hear Brian ask.
'Yes. Yes,' I thought.
"Uh-uh," AJ said. "Why? He missing?"
"Well, sorta," Brian said. "I haven't seen him all morning, and we're supposed to be leaving in ten minutes."
Just at that moment, I heard the bus start. I knew they'd be warming it up because it was such a cold morning. The rumbling made it hard for me to hear the guys' voices.
"He'll be here," I heard Howie say, finally. "He knows the schedule."
That damn schedule. We lived and died by that idiotic thing.
I sat down on the tiny, metallic toilet and rested my chin on my hand. This was really going to take awhile. I looked around. It was so small that nothing but the toilet fit in there. I began wondering if I'd become hopelessly claustrophobic before my little endeavor even got interesting.
I started thinking about what things must be like at home. I wondered what Aaron might be doing. I bet he was having fun somewhere in the pool or out in one of the boats. Though I truly loved what I was doing, I also dearly missed home way more often than I wanted to admit. I rubbed my tired eyes. It seemed like such a long time since I'd been home for more than a few weeks. I hadn't even spent my fourteenth birthday at home. I think the guys and I celebrated it France, or somewhere that they didn't speak English.
After the complete ten minutes passed, I heard more voices on the bus.
"Sorry I'm late," I heard Kevin saying. "I just got up. Man, it's early. Where are Frick and Frack?"
Howie laughed. "That's a good question. Brian just came up here looking for Frack a little while ago. God knows where he is."
"Really?"
I heard AJ fiddling with his boom box. Different kinds of music came on as he seemed to be changing the station. "Yeah, and Brian hasn't been back since. Think they're eating breakfast again?"
"Brian knows the schedule," Kevin said.
Yeah, like he knows the Bible, I thought. Unlike me, Brian lived by that schedule. Therefore, the only reason for him not being on the bus was that he was looking for me. I resented that he was the only one. But that shouldn't have surprised me. He was truly my best friend, the only best friend I'd ever known. Even though he was older, and sometimes viewed life so differently than I did, he was my very best friend. I could tell him anything, and he'd always know what to say. He was the only who knew how homesick I'd truly become. The only one who laughed at all my jokes and stuck up for me when the other guys got frustrated with me. Typical for him to be looking for me and everyone else was sitting on their asses. I almost decided to give him a break and give up my little joke, but then it got interesting.
"Ready to roll, gentlemen?" I heard Johnny ask.
"Um," Kevin began. "In just a second. Brian and Nick aren't here yet."
"Well, where are they?"
"Um, well, I'm not sure. See, they-."
"Can't find him," I heard Bri say out of breath. "He's nowhere."
"What do you mean he's nowhere?" Johnny asked. "He has to be somewhere. Did you go to the restaurant? That store down the street? The jacuzzi?"
"Yeah, I've been everywhere," Brian said. "He's not anywhere."
"Oh, for Christ's sake," Johnny said then sighed. "Well--."
"I'll go look," Kevin said. "C'mon 'D, go with me."
"Okay," Howie said. "Let's go."
I heard their footsteps off the bus, and I was pretty sure that Brian had gone with them.
"That Nick," I heard Johnny say. "Why does he always have to be the one--?"
His cell phone rang, and he answered it instead of continuing. I wish he would have.
AJ turned up his radio, so couldn't even begin to hear what the conversation was about.
Another twenty minutes passed where all I heard was AJ's music. That little freak. He didn't even bother to go look for me. What if I was lost? What if someone had kidnapped me? What if I'd fallen and hit my head and didn't even remember who I was? He was just gonna sit there and listen to the radio? Some friend.
Another fifteen minutes passed.
"... just fallen off the face of the Earth," Johnny said. "He has to be somewhere. Keep looking."
"But we've looked everywhere he could have gone on foot," Brian said.
"So what? You think he rented one of those stupid motor scooters everyone drives around here and took off? What is he thinking? That's the problem. He's not thinking. Typical little jerk," Johnny was saying.
"It's okay," Brian said. "Just relax don't get mad yet."
"Don't tell me what to do, son. Do you have any idea what time it is? Do you have any idea how far behind schedule we're going to get? The roads are icy, and that's going to make traveling hard enough. If he's not seriously hurt, I'm gonna..."
Either he trailed off, or he stopped. The next thing I heard was the sound of Kevin's voice.
"He's nowhere," Kevin said. "I even went to the arcade on the other block and he's not there. Maybe we should get some kind of law enforcement involved."
"Maybe we should just go," Johnny said.
They didn't say anything.
I bit my lip. That's not what I expected would happen.
"We can't go," Brian said.
"We're not going," Kevin said. "He's somewhere. Let me go look again."
"I'm going too."
"No one's going," I heard Johnny said. "Where's Howie?"
"He's talking to some of the people on the street asking them for him," Kevin said. "He'll be right back."
There was a long silence on the bus, and my heart actually thudded. I was in big trouble.
I closed my eyes and took the door knob into my hand. Man, I was so busted. They were going to kill me.
I turned the knob slowly, trying not to make any noise because I knew that I could still change my mind and stay in the bathroom forever.
"Well, if he's not here in five minutes, we're leaving," Johnny said. "He can catch up on his own."
"He can't stay here alone," Kevin immediately protested. "He's a kid! He doesn't even speak Spanish."
"He knows the schedule," was all I heard Johnny say.
"I'm gonna go look again," Brian said.
"Sit down, Brian."
"No,--," Brian began, and I opened the door. I couldn't let him get in trouble.
"Hey guys," I said weakly.
"Nick!"
"Frack! Oh thank God!"
"What on Earth..."
AJ laughed.
"... couldn't find him guys," Howie said. "Oh, hey Nick."
"Hey 'D," I said.
Johnny was rubbing his face, hard. He closed his eyes tightly and took a really deep breath. I thought smoke was going to come out of his ears.
"I'm sorry," I said. "I was just playing around. I thought it would be funny if--."
"Adam!" he yelled to the bus driver. "Let's go. Now!"
"Nick there?" Adam called.
"Let's go!" Johnny yelled.
I took a step toward the seats hoping to squeeze in next to Brian and that Johnny would be too mad to even talk to me. But he yanked my arm and pulled me to the front of the bus away from the guys.
I sat down at our dinner table while he stood in front of me.
"What are you thinking?"
I blinked at him.
That he'd laugh?
"You're not thinking, are you Nick? I mean ever. You just do stuff you think is cute and funny and don't even think about the consequences because everything you do has a consequence. You know that don't you?"
"I--," I tried to begin, but he cut me off.
"No. No, you don't know. You think we're out here just cruising strange countries and having a good time. We're working. Do you understand the concept of working? I means that you take things seriously and put the games away. I mean for good. You're not a little kid anymore. Look at the time."
He stuck his watch in front of my face.
"What time is it?" he asked.
"Nine-fifty."
"What time were you supposed to be on this damn bus?" he boomed.
I winced. "Johnny, I'm sorry. I--."
"What time were you supposed to be on the bus, Nicky?"
"At nine. I was supposed to be on the bus at nine."
And I was. In the bathroom.
He shook his head. "We're almost an hour behind schedule now and on icy streets. I hope you think it's funny when the bus skids and--," he stopped himself. "What do you care, huh? It's all fun and games to you."
I rubbed my eyes because I knew better than to even argue with him. He knew that I cared, but he was mad beyond reason over a stupid little joke.
He glanced over his shoulder toward the guys. I couldn't tell if they were watching, but I knew that they were listening.
He bent down and put his face in front of mine.
"You do this again, and we're not waiting for you. Understand?" he said softly enough for just me to hear. "If you don't keep your stupid ass on the schedule and you will be left somewhere. I mean it, Nick. Seriously. Don't you forget who's signing your checks. Understand?"
I looked down at my shoes.
He pushed my shoulder, and I almost pushed him back. I fought hard to stay in control
"I asked you a question. Do you understand?"
"Yes. I understand."
He shook his head at me and went to the front to talk to Adam.
I sat back for a little while because my head felt hot with anger from him speaking to me that way. I rubbed my eyes again. I was so tired. All I really wanted was to sleep in my own bed and to get away from all the roads.
Whatever.
I got up and headed to the back where the guys already had the TV going. I let myself drop next to Kevin because I didn't even want to look at Brian. He was probably feeling sorry for me, and that was the last thing I needed.
Kevin sat forward after a bit and looked at me.
"You okay?" he asked softly.
"Yeah."
He patted my knee. "Don't be so goofy next time. Besides, you know we'd never leave you here. Or anywhere."
"I know."
I crossed my arms and leaned my head on the cool window. I heard Kevin take and release a deep breath.
They were being strangely quiet, and I had no idea why. It wasn't the first time I got in trouble with Johnny for my little jokes. I knew it wouldn't be the last.
I watched as we left the city behind and headed into the Spanish countryside. The fields were covered with a light sheet of ice. I didn't understand how Johnny thought that leaving later in the morning would make the streets icier. I thought it was the other way around.

I walked the straight and narrow for quite a few days after that. It wasn't much later that traveling and performing in outdoor arenas in the winter, had us all passing the flu around to each other. I think in span of three weeks, I got sick twice. Maybe that's what kept me out of trouble and not any fear of Johnny.
We were supposed to be recording in Sweden, but too many of us were sick to really get anything done. Even Johnny had gotten sick and decided we should just rest for a few days.
I remember opening my eyes because I could hear Brian coughing. It was faraway, as if in a dream, but I could hear him. I listened snuggled in the warmth of my five blankets, long johns and sweats, as he continued to cough.
I sat up. "Brian?" My voice came out rough as I was recovering from my own cold.
"What?"
"Are you okay?"
He coughed a little more. "I think so. Go back to sleep."
"Well, you're making too much noise," I told him trying to hide the fact that I was worried.
"Sorry buddy," he said. I heard him shift around on the bed, so I reached over and turned on the lamp. He squinted his eyes at me and tried to smile. "What?" he asked.
"You look awful," I told him. "You're really sick."
He pulled the blankets up higher. "I'm okay, Nick. Go back to sleep."
I grabbed my pillow and hugged it as tightly as I could. "How can I sleep so far away from home and listening to you cough every five seconds?"
"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I won't cough anymore."
Then he coughed again.
"Sorry," he said with a smile. "You don't look so great yourself."
"I'm fine," I said. "I'm already immune to the Backstreet virus. I was the first one to get it."
He laughed weakly. "Yeah."
"Should I go get, Kev?"
"No," he said immediately before being overtaken by the cough. "Don't. He'll just freak out and worry about me. It's just a cold. People get colds all the time."
I wondered if he'd be sick if we were home, or if we weren't running around trying to do much more than is humanly possible.
"You want me to get some medicine?" I asked.
"Where? Where you gonna go get medicine in downtown Stolkholm in the middle of the night, Nick? Go to sleep. I'll be fine."
But he wasn't fine. He was sick all night long coughing and sneezing. Neither of us slept a wink. Well, maybe he did sleep for a little while, but not comfortably at all. I could hear him moan and groan every little while, then he’d wake up. I ended up pushing some of my blankets on him because I knew he was cold and watching strange Swedish television until the sun rose.
With no sleep and the remnants of a cold, I couldn’t even look at food about two hours later. My head throbbed, just from being so tired.
"I’m just getting on the bus," I told the guys as they sat down to eat.
"You sure?" Kevin asked. "You don’t even want to take something with you? Some juice?"
"No. I’m gonna try to get to sleep. My head hurts," I said. "Besides, I wouldn’t want to get left behind."
He gave me a look. "Headache? You got a fever?"
"No," I said. "Just didn’t sleep very well. It’s okay."
"You sure?" he asked.
I nodded.
Brian tried to smile at me, but I knew he was still miserable, everyone was. Even AJ was quiet.
I hurried onto the bus and threw a pillow against a window seat because despite the cold, I still wanted to see where I was going. Hopefully, it was somewhere warm where the sun actually shone. I pushed pillow against the window and held on to it closely. The bus was still cold because Adam had barely begun to warm it up.
"Still no heater, Nick," he said from the front. He was putting his coffee in the cup holder.
"It’s okay," I told him.
Not much later, the rest of the guys loaded the bus, and we were ready to go. Of course, everyone was on time, even Johnny who still had somewhat a cough.
He and Kevin were walking toward the seats talking seriously about something.
"... but everyone’s sick," Kevin said. "I don’t know how you think we’re gonna put on any kind of show like this."
"We have a schedule, Kevin."
"We’re human beings, Johnny. C’mon. Look, we don’t even have anything to help the guys with their colds. Nothing."
"Why? Who’s sick still?" Johnny asked.
"Nick and Brian."
"I’m not sick," I called from my seat.
Kevin shot me a look. "He has a bad headache. He didn’t even eat breakfast today," Kev said.
Johnny dug a little bottle out of his pocket and handed it to Kev.
"What’s this?" he asked then read the label. "Aspirin?"
"That’s what I’ve been taking. That’s all we have. Look, colds are like that. There’s no cure for them."
"But this is aspirin," Kev said as if Johnny should know better.
"Yeah? So?"
"You can’t give him aspirin. He’s fourteen years old. Haven’t you ever heard of Reye’s Syndrome. Kids shouldn’t take aspirin. Ever."
"Then he’ll have to wait until we can get something suitable for children," Johnny said turning around and hurrying to the front. "Let’s go!"
I almost laughed but felt really bad because as usual, Kevin got stuck trying to deal with my problem.
"I just need to sleep," I told him. "Where’s Brian?"
He was rolling the little bottle with his fingers. "He hit the bunks as soon as he got on."
"He doesn’t look so good," I told him.
Kevin shook his head. "Neither do you."
I shrugged. "I’m fine. Honest."
He just shook his head, stuffed the bottle in his pocket and sat down next to me.

When I opened my eyes, we were in Holland. I only knew that because I asked Adam who was the only one left on the bus.
"Are they eating?" I asked him as I reached the front.
He nodded and flipped through his newspaper. "You gonna eat? You only have another fifteen minutes. The guys said they’d bring you something."
I touched my stomach. "Not hungry. You know if Brian’s doing any better?"
He shook his head. "He’s been coughing the whole time. What is it with you guys and those colds?"
"It’s exhaustion," I told him. "I’m gonna go see if I find a pharmacy or something. Don’t leave without me," I said stepping off the bus.
"Nick!"
I turned back to him.
"Fifteen minutes, kid. Johnny’s serious."
"Yeah, but Brian seriously needs some medicine. I’ll be right back. If I don’t see a store in five minutes, I’ll turn around. I promise."
"Hurry," he said.
I nodded.
The streets were dark and dreary, and it looked like it had just rained.
I have to admit that I usually have pretty good sense of direction. I mean, after two years of constant stays in hotels, one develops some survival skills, especially when overseas. But I don’t know if it was the headache, or the fact that I hadn’t really eaten, but I was having a hard time figuring out the street signs. Europeans use little symbols for everything. And they’re pretty obvious. I couldn’t find one that looked like any kind of medical help. Well, at least I could find some store that carried cough syrup, anything.
But there was nothing, just these strange little shops with souvenirs and crafty-looking stuff. I guessed I was in a real touristy part of the town.
I glanced at my watch. My five minutes had long passed, but I decided that Johnny wouldn’t leave without me. I was only going to be a little late.
I found a hotel with a little store that carried medication. The lady behind the counter spoke some kind of English, but I had to pantomime cough and cold to her. She sold me a bottle of dark, foul-smelling liquid. If it smelled bad, then it must work, I figured.
I put it in my jacket.
I must admit that I felt somewhat triumphant as I back-tracked to the bus. I was only ten minutes late. They would not abandon me for being ten minutes late. Adam would stall for me. If not, Kevin would take care of things. He always did.
I thought I was lost. I told myself that I was just a little confused from the cold. Plus, many of the streets and stores looked the same. But I had committed the walk to memory. I knew I was in the right place when I looked up the street, and the bus was gone.
Shit.
Shit.
I looked around. They must be playing some joke on me, getting back at me for my bathroom stunt. This was funny. Relax. Sit down and wait.
I sat down on the bike rack outside the restaurant and waited.
Don’t panic. They’ll laugh if I panic. Adam probably drove the bus around the corner, and the guys were having a good laugh just then. I smiled to show them that I wasn’t scared.
But I was. Johnny was cruel enough to dump me in a strange town, I thought as I zipped up my jacket against the cold. But I pasted the biggest smile I could on my face. I wasn’t scared. Whether they were sitting in the restaurant, or across the street, or on the bus itself, I wasn’t going to get all angry like Johnny. I was going to be cool.
Time crawled. No one showed. The bus didn’t come barreling down the street with everyone laughing so hard that the sound rang in my ears. If anything, it seemed like there was less traffic on the little street all of the sudden. Was this one of those little towns where everything shut down in the middle of the day?
I glanced at my watch. Twenty-three minutes had passed.
I looked up to the cloudy sky and tried to think. Maybe I was in the wrong place. Maybe I had taken the wrong turn at the lights and missed the bus entirely.
I got up and went back all the way to the hotel where I bought the medicine. Then, I thought each step through back to where I had left the bus. Same restaurant. Same bike rack. No bus.
Oh God. Oh God.
I sat back down and felt my heart thud in my chest because suddenly I realized that I was alone in a country where I didn’t speak the language, hardly had any money, and didn’t know another soul.
Wait, I told myself. Just wait. They’ll be back. If Kevin himself has to turn the bus around and come back, he will. I know he will.
Another twenty minutes had passed before I even moved from the bike rack. Hardly anyone passed me on the street as the everyone seemed to have gone home for lunch and never come back.
Twenty-five minutes passed right by, and I noticed how lonely everything seemed. No cars. No people. No bus.
I looked around. My schedule was in my backpack on the bus, so I had no idea where the bus was going. I couldn’t take a cab or try to take the metro or something. I did have Johnny’s cell number committed to memory. I was even tempted to call home.
No. I couldn’t wuss out and call my mother.
I made myself get off the bus rack and started down the street in search of phone. That’s what I was going to do. I’d call Johnny and apologize to death if I had to.
I found a public phone about three streets down from the restaurant. I dug for coins in my pocket and came up with coins from almost every country we had visited. One of them had to work, I told myself. Then I realized that there was no where to put the coins. The phone looked more like an ATM machine than a phone.
That was my last hope. Without a phone, there was no way that I could call Johnny, and without Johnny I couldn’t get back to the bus. I didn’t even want to think about trying to get back home.
I panicked then, my throat closing up and my heart pounding at my chest.
"No, no, no," I said aloud. "No."
I looked around the phone, under the phone, anywhere that I could stick the damn coins because if I was stuck in the town, I had nowhere to go. I pulled the receiver and looked for a slot there, anything, but there was nothing. I ended up slamming it back down and leaning my head on the cold phone.
This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening.
I went back to desperately looking for coin slots for the phone. My throat had closed up on me tightly, and though I tried to fight them, the tears had begun to flow. I pushed them back and tried just to take a deep breath, but once I started, I couldn’t stop. I wiped my nose with my wrist and sniffled.
Someone grabbed on to my arm.
I whirled around almost relieved because I knew it was them. It was the guys.
It was some man.
I stepped back and pulled my arm away from him.
He said something in German or something.
I shook my head. "I don’t--," I began.
"American?" he asked.
I thought for a second. Who was this guy?
I allowed myself to take a chance. I didn’t have a choice. I nodded. "Yeah. American."
He looked at the phone, at my fistful of coins then at my surely-streaked face. I quickly wiped my face with my palms.
"Not money," he said in a thick accent. "You need card."
"Card?"
He nodded, dug out his wallet and came up with a card. He showed me how it fit into the side of the phone.
I wiped my eyes and tried to bite my lip, to compose myself. His eyes softened and he patted my shoulder.
"You’re lost?"
I nodded and wiped my eye with the back of my hand. "Where can I get a card?"
He put his in my hand. "Call," he said with a nod. "Call." He swiped it through, and I heard a dial tone.
My hand shook as I dialed Johnny’s cell number. That bastard. I wiped my face again and cleared my throat. I didn’t want him to know that he’d scared me to death.
"Hello?" he answered.
"It’s me."
"Me who?"
"Nick," I said more softly than I wanted to, so I had to repeat myself. "It’s Nick."
"Nick. Where are you?"
"I’m--." He cut me off.
"You’re off schedule is where you are."
I looked up at the dark sky. Why did this happen to me? How on Earth was I this stupid?
"I need to get back," I told him. "Where are you?"
"On the road," he said smugly. "Where are you?"
"I’m in the same damn town, Johnny! What did you think I was gonna do? Tele-transport myself to the bus?"
"It’s worth a try, Nicky? Who’s laughing now?"
I leaned my head against the phone and closed my eyes. My tears escaped my quickly, and I didn’t know what I was going to do.
"Hey," he finally said. "We’re stopping in Copenhagen to get Brian some medicine," he said. "It’s about an hour from where you are now. So, look for the bus at one of the first rest stops you see," he said. "Next time, Nicky, keep your schedule on you at all times."
"Copenhagen?" I repeated.
He hung up.
I hung up too and wiped my face. How on Earth was I going to get to Copenhagen?
I felt someone touch my shoulder. I looked up to find the man hadn’t left.
"Okay?" he asked trying to look at my face. "Everything okay?"
I shook my head and rubbed my eyes hard to make the tears stop coming. Being lost was bad enough. Crying over it was pathetic.
"Thank you," I told him, still rubbing my eyes.
He tugged my wrist.
"Don’t push on eyes," he said. "That’s bad. What’s wrong?"
I’m not sure how he understood me, but he did. I must have blathered the whole story at him through tears, sniffles and curses that I didn’t normally use. He pulled me away from the phone and out of the way of the pedestrian traffic that had started up again.
He nodded, listening to my pitiful story as if it made all of the sense in the world.
"You need to go to Copenhagen?"
I nodded. "Just tell me where I can get a cab, or a bus or something. He’ll just have to wait for me. He can’t leave me here in the middle of nowhere."
The guy shook his head. "I drive you."
I shook my head as well. "No. No thank you. You can’t."
He smiled. "I can. It’s not that far, and you are lost."
I shook my head. "I’m not lost. I got abandoned."
He finally looked at me like he didn’t understand. "I will drive?" he asked.
I started to shake my head and then realized that I didn’t have an option. If he didn’t take me, it would take much longer for me to get back. My headache was coming back, and I was out of choices.
He nodded at me as if expecting to nod as well.
"It’s far," I said.
He laughed. "Is not far. I will drive?"
When I started following him to his tiny, black sports car a bunch of stuff started running through my head. My mother had spoken long and hard to me about Europe. She said that things were different here, that people just had different customs and lifestyles than we did. My first walk through downtown London at night had proven her correct. This guy seemed harmless enough, and really, what choice did I have?
He talked easily and quickly on the drive onto the highway. At first, he asked me a lot of questions about what I was doing in Europe, and I told him all about Johnny and the guys. I also told him that we would be looking for a huge bus at a rest stop right outside of Copenhagen.
The cars zoomed by us, then he caught up to speed. His name was Sven, and he owned a gym. He was saying something about the gym, its members and how he was looking to expand to other countries in Europe. I was trying really hard to listen, but in the middle of figuring out what he said and trying to think of something to say back, I fell asleep.
"—damn Nick!"
I awoke to someone cursing my name and to being pulled out of Sven’s car.
I had to unbuckle the seat belt because I almost got choked.
"What!? Are you crazy?" Johnny was yelling at me.
Adam was around the other side of the car and peering inside at Sven who had sunk into his seat.
"What? What?" I asked as Johnny pulled me away from the car by my jacket.
"What are you doing letting some strange man drive you here? Are you crazy?"
The cold air hit me, and I finally snapped out of it.
"You’re the one’s who’s crazy," I yelled back having had it. "What was I supposed to do? I don’t have that much money with me. My credit cards are on the bus, and he offered to help."
"You don’t even know who he is?!"
"You don’t even know who I am," I told him. " You don’t care. If you did, you wouldn’t have left me over there. You wouldn’t have dumped me and left me to figure it all out. He was just trying to help."
"You just never think, do you? Did you even think that he could be some kind of freak? That you could have ended up killed out there in the middle of nowhere?"
I looked up at the clearing sky and just felt sick. If I had eaten anything, it would have been all over Johnny. I almost wished that I had.
"He was just helping," I repeated.
"You’re a dumb ass," he said and pulled at my jacket as if trying to pat me down.
I pulled away and saw the bus door swing open.
"Open your coat, Nick," Johnny ordered. "Did that guy give you anything? He could have planted something on you knowing that you’d be crossing over the border."
"He didn’t--."
He pulled me hard, and I had to stand still as he opened my jacket and went through my pockets. He found the medicine I’d bought for Brian.
"It’s cough syrup," I told him.
He opened up the bottle and smelled its contents. He made a face and handed it back to me.
"Turn out your pants pockets."
I did and all my coins spilled at my feet.
I squatted down to pick them up, but he pulled me up.
"Listen to me, will you? Don’t you ever, ever accept a ride or anything else from a stranger again, understand? You had no idea who that guy was or what his intentions were with you. There are weirdoes, perverts and maniacs all over this world, and you need to find a way to protect yourself. Didn’t your parents teach you to take care of yourself? You are most helpless, clinging kid I have ever seen. At fourteen, I was damn sure taking care of myself. It’s all well and fine that you’re the youngest, but that doesn’t make you an imbecile, or does it? Can’t you do anything on your own? If Brian and Kevin aren’t around to solve your problems, what are you going to do? You’re going to have to grow up some time, Nick. Those two aren’t going to be around forever."
I was long done listening to him and had taken to staring at the ground wondering how much money I had just lost.
"Get on the bus," he ordered.
I glared down at him for a moment then turned to look at Sven who was rolling up his windows as quickly as he could. I shook my head as he drove away just feeling sorry that I couldn’t even thank him.
"Get on," Johnny repeated.
I started slowly for the bus. My heart began to bang at my chest again, and my mouth felt hot inside. I could feel the tears well in my eyes, but I fought them fiercely. Was this ever going to end?
The guys were all standing at the front of the bus watching as I got on. I didn’t even look up at them. I couldn’t.
They moved out of my way as I squeezed past them and headed to the back staring at the floor the whole time. My pillow was still pushed up against the window, so I let myself drop on it and rested my head.
"Nick? Hey, you okay?" Howie asked coming toward me.
I nodded.
"We didn’t mean to leave you, Frack," he said. "We thought you were hiding in the bathroom again."
I nodded again.
"Leave him alone," someone said.
I heard the bus start, and then Brian coughed. I dug the medicine back out of my jacket and went to find him settling back into his bunk. He looked worse than he had that morning. I guessed it was all the worrying.
"Here," I told him. "You need to take this."
"Nick, I’m sorry, man," he said taking the bag. "We--."
I shook my head at him and didn’t even try to smile. My words were caught in my throat, so I hurried away from him and back to my seat as the bus jerked and started back on the road.
I settled into my seat and closed my eyes against the sting. I felt miserable, stupid and lost. Even back on the bus, where I knew it was safe, I couldn’t help but feel a huge empty hole. I wanted more than anything in the world to be home and to hear my sisters and brother laughing at stupid stuff. Even if they were laughing at me.
My tears slowly forced their way out of my eyes, and I quickly wiped them off. I pulled my knees up and felt how the bottom of my baggy jeans were damp from walking on the wet streets.
I could hear the guys trying to act casually, like nothing had happened. Except for Brian. He had finally stopped coughing.
I wiped my nose on my knee and watched the scenery blur and clear in front of me.
Finally, I felt a heavy hand on my head.
Kevin.
"Are you okay? Really?" he asked.
I didn’t answer. His touch just made me feel like an even stuipder little kid. Plus, the tears were coming harder and faster, and I didn’t want him to see that.
He bent over me and searched for my face, but I turned away.
"Oh baby," he said softly. "It’s okay. Man, I’m so sorry that Johnny’s such a jerk. You know we wouldn’t leave you. You know that. I got in a huge fight with him trying to get him to turn the bus around."
"It’s okay," I said.
"No. No, it’s not. This can’t happen anymore. It can’t. I promise that it won’t, okay? Just know that. I keep my word."
I sniffled. "I know."
He sat down next to me and didn’t move, even when I fell asleep leaning on the window. Somehow, in the middle of the night, I woke up leaning on him.
I pulled away from him immediately, and I think the motion woke him.
"Don’t move," he drawled easily. "You were what was keeping me warm."
"I’m sorry--," I began, but he chuckled.
He stretched, stood up and reached for the blankets we kept in the overhead compartments. He handed me one and covered himself up with the other.
"You sleep okay?" he asked.
I nodded. "Yeah. I’m sorry that I didn’t let you go back to your bunk."
"It’s okay. I don’t get much sleep there, anyway."
"Where are we going?"
"Back to Spain, I think. We should be there soon, you haven’t been out that long. It’s just really dark because of--."
"The clouds," I finished for him. "Does the sun ever shine here?"
"I don’t know."
"Is Brian okay?" I asked.
"Yeah. He was up a little while ago to go to the bathroom. I haven’t heard him cough anymore. What’d you give him?"
"Some medicine I bought in that little town."
He turned to me. Though it was dark on the bus, I could see he looked surprised.
"What?" I asked.
"Is that what you were doing? You were buying medicine for him?"
I yawned. "Yeah. Why? I told Adam."
Kevin shook his head, then rubbed his eyes and his face. He looked like he was trying to wake up.
"I can’t believe that," he said. "Johnny said he saw you talking to some girl. I can’t believe he’d just up and leave you somewhere like that. I was so mad. By the time we figured out you weren’t really in the bathroom, he told us some story about seeing you with a girl. I guess he was trying to convince us that you deserved to be left behind."
I shrugged. "I believe anything now, Kev. I was so scared. I thought I was never going to find you guys again. I thought I’d have to call home and get my parents to come and get me. That Johnny would get Lou to fire me"
"You should have called home," Kevin said with a laugh.
"What? Why?"
"That’s what he’s afraid of. He knows how protective your parents have been of you, and how hard it was to let you come on your own. I think if it had been me, Brian or Howie left behind, he wouldn’t have waited."
"Why?" I asked sincerely puzzled.
He sat up and shifted to face me. "Because baby. Because you’re a minor, and your mother could pull you out of here so fast. And even though Johnny’s mean, he’s a business man. He and Lou might sign our checks, but the checks wouldn’t be there without us, the five of us. He’s mean, Nick. Not stupid."
I shook my head and leaned against my pillow again.
"We’re going to have to do something," Kevin said.
"About what?"
"About Johnny. I don’t like the way he’s been yelling at you and how he’s running us ragged. I hate seeing Brian so sick. His mom would be horrified to know how hard it’s been for him. And not to mention mad at me."
"It’s not your fault, Kev."
"No," he said. "But I am the oldest. And you know, if Johnny thinks that we’re going to be stupid like those other guys, he’s got another thing coming. Those guys ended up involved in drugs, trashing hotel rooms and doing stuff that would never be okay with me. That’s not going to happen with us. And you and AJ are young enough that someone has to be responsible. And you know that’s not going to be Johnny."
I shook my head. "You don’t have to be responsible for me."
"You’re fourteen," he said like I didn’t even know it. "When I was fourteen I didn’t half of the responsibilities you do. Besides, I don’t mean that in the way Johnny told you today. I mean that someone has to watch out for your well-being. Everything else is your call."
I nodded and closed my eyes again.
"Go to bed," he told me.
"I’m okay here," I said, still not wanting to move too far away from him.

Brian and I were standing outside the bus in Barcelona. We were the first ones ready to go because we had been up early playing video games and talking.
"Hey guys, let’s go," Adam said climbing up.
The bus had been warming up for about fifteen minutes.
"In a bit," Brian called to him.
We were freezing standing outside. When I talked, my breath came out like a puff of smoke.
"Denise is meeting us in France," Brian said.
"Really?"
He nodded. "And she’s staying for the rest of the tour. I think AJ told her about what happened with you. Did you tell your mom?"
"Are you crazy? She would have made me go home. Did you tell yours?"
He shook his head. "No."
AJ marched out of the hotel and joined us.
"Everyone ready?" he asked putting on his sunglasses. "It’s going to be a long drive today."
"When isn’t it a long drive?" Brian asked and reached to take them away from him.
"Hey," AJ protested.
I joined in the game to keep his precious sunglasses away from him.
They were snatched out of my hand by Howie.
"Morning guys," he said. "I guess you two are ready to go."
"Thanks, ‘D," AJ told him when handed them back.
We must have looked strange to Johnny when he walked out of the hotel.
"Where’s Adam?" he asked.
"On the bus," Brian told him.
"Well, lets get on, then. Is all the gear packed?"
"Think so," Brian said, but no one moved.
He stood there looking at us. "Are you guys getting on the bus? Or not?"
"We’re waiting for Kevin," Howie said glancing at his watch. "He still has a couple of minutes."
"Well don’t stand out here and freeze your asses off--," he stopped himself because he got it. "Oh," he said. "You’re making sure Kevin gets on the bus?"
Brian threw his arm around me and shrugged. "Yeah. Just to be sure."
Johnny chuckled. "You guys," he said and climbed on the bus.
"You ass," AJ said softly.
"Sh," Kevin said coming up behind him and giving him a light smack on the head. "No need for that. Let’s go."
"Let’s go," Brian repeated pulling me along with him, and we were on our way.