I arrived early at the Staples Center because I had no idea what to expect. Though I had lived in Los Angeles for a few years, I had never gone to a Laker game. I was more of football fan than a basketball fan.
But the big crowd brought back memories of the year before when I had gone to see the Backstreet Boys in concert. Then young girls had filled the auditorium toting signs for their favorite boy. I felt out of place around them because they were so young.
Things were very similar this time, except all the signs were for Nick. The girls eyed me as I made my way through the crowd with my press pass.
“Do you get to go to the locker rooms?” Joe, the photographer who had come with me, asked.
“Don’t know. And I don’t think I want to. I don’t even know if I’ll stay for the whole game,” I said because I was really nervous about being around Nick again.
“C’mon Rebecca. That’s Kobe Bryant,” he said pointing to a young, handsome guy who was talking to the game announcer. “And I heard that one of the old Baywatch chicks was gonna be here.”
“Girls won’t be playing,” I told him. “I read the list.”
“Yeah, but she’s dating that one guy from that TV show. So you know she’ll be here.”
I sucked in air. “Really? Why don’t you go take your pics? I’m going to get some crowd quotes, okay?”
He nodded, and finally seemed to accept my lack of enthusiasm for celebrity sightings. “Yeah, okay.”
The place was full of girls who had gone to see Nick. Many of them were in their early teens, but a few of them looked college-aged. They all said the same thing when I spoke to them: Nick was the best. He was kind, smart, generous, talented, cute, and an all-around good guy.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” began the announcer. “Welcome to the first annual United Children’s Charities celebrity basketball game. United Children’s Charities is an umbrella organization that unties various groups to money for children’s rights causes including the prevention of child abuse and the promotion of a positive environment for all California children. The players in tonight’s game have made substantial monetary donations to the cause. So stand up and cheer as loud as you can for the Los Angeles Lakers and the celebrities participating in tonight’s game!”
The crowd cheered loudly and I made my way down toward the court. A spotlight shone on the locker room entrance as the Laker players made their way out through a tunnel of Laker girls.
I tried to find a safe spot away from the team benches, but the floor was packed.
“... of music, movies and television!”
My heart pounded, and I saw Joe well-positioned to snap everyone’s picture. Larger than Life played on the PA-system as the different guys were announced.
“And from music’s top-charting act, Backstreet Boy Nick Carter!”
The crowd of girls exploded, and Nick trotted out to the court and high-fived his team mates.
My heart thudded with what felt like genuine fear.
He was his usual, smiling self, waving at the crowd, posing for pictures and occasionally milling over to play around with Kobe Bryant.
I was in awe as to how I could be standing in the same room with him again. The first time around had been pure luck, a blessing. Now, I was afraid that he might not remember me, that he’d ignore me and even that he’d approach me, and I wouldn’t know what to say. No amount of hard-practiced professionalism could control my pulsating nerves.
From where I stood, the team benches were a five second walk away. I knew that eventually, Nick was going to sit there, and then... and then... I wasn’t sure what I would do.
The game was fast-paced with the Lakers dominating the whole time. Nick was the only one of the celebrities who seemed to know how to play, and he just looked like was having such a good time. I saw him laugh, heard him call the other players silly names, and turn to fire up the crowd in his team’s favor.
Of course the girls yelled louder than ever.
Someone gave me a slight push, and I moved immediately thinking that I had just been in the way.
“You’re just gonna stand there?” Joe was asking. “I mean, aren’t you even going to ask anyone any questions?”
“I’m going,” I said moving out of his way because he was still busy taking pictures of Kobe Bryant. “I’m just...”
He didn’t wait to hear the rest of my sentence and trotted off to get another angle.
“I’m just trying to be professional,” I said aloud. But it was useless. I was beyond nervous as I stepped toward the benches. Nick was on the court, so I figured it was safe to try to talk to someone else.
The professional basketball players were nice enough, but the same couldn’t be said of the celebrities. Some of them even had their publicists on the court giving out written statements. Needless to say, I stuck with the Lakers.
“What motivated you to play today?” I was asking Kobe Bryant.
“Oh the cause,” he said. “Definitely. And the event. Usually, charity events are boring dinners, telethons and the such, but this is a game. I can relate to this.”
“Are you having a good time?”
He laughed. “I always enjoy a good game. Well, it’s sort of a good game. Those guys can’t play. So, it’s easy money for the charity and an easy work out for me.”
“So, they’re not putting up much of a fight?”
“Oh no. That’s not even a kid fight. Next time we do this, I’m gonna ask that we get a team out here that can play,” he said suddenly in a louder tone. “Because those guys can’t even keep up with us, much less compete. Like I said, it’s good for the cause, but it sucks to kick butt so easily.”
I started to laugh but was drowned out by sarcastic the laughter behind me.
“Ha-ha. I can play! You know I can. If B-Rok was on our team, we wouldn’t be sucking and losing by so much.”
I was afraid to turn around.
“Especially this guy,” Kobe said standing up with a chuckle. “This guy’s all talk. Ask him. Ask him why he even bothered to show up and embarrass himself.”
I stepped back, and then I turned. Nick Carter was smiling up at Kobe Bryant with that crooked grin that always makes him look like he’s up to something.
“You know, it’s not even fair that you make fun of me in front of--.” He turned to me.
I swallowed hard and took another step back.
Kobe seemed at a loss.
Nick started laughing. “Oh man! I know you! Oh my God, Rebecca. Becky! How are you?”
“I--,” I began but the buzzer signaling half-time drowned me out.
Kobe shook his head and gently pushed past us toward the locker room.
The girls directly behind us were yelling for Nick at the top of their lungs. He gave them a slight wave.
“I’m okay,” I finally sputtered. “How are you?”
He shook his head and raked his hand through his now-short hair. “I’m great. It sucks to lose like this, but Kobe’s right.” Nick lowered his voice. “Those guys can’t play.”
I had to laugh as my palms damped, and I clutched my notebook.
Nick shook his head smiling at me. “Look at you. Sports writer, huh?”
“No,” I explained. “This is a charity event and--.”
“Nick, c’mon!”
I recognized his bodyguard Mike coming through the crowd.
“Hey Mike! Remember Becky? We spent my birthday with her, and--.”
“Yeah! Hey! Hi Becky. How are you?”
“Fine,” I said only to get drowned out by screaming girls who were suddenly pushing each other to get to Nick.
Mike pulled us both away. “Better move it, Nick. They’re getting restless.”
He nodded. “Yeah. Hey c’mon, walk with us.”
Of course I followed toward the tunnel.
“You’re gonna be around for the rest of the game?” Nick asked as he waved at a group of girls who had screamed out his name in unison.
“Yeah probably,” I said. “Are you going to stick out being on the losing team?”
He shrugged. “What else can I do? Listen, why don’t we--?”
A girl climbed over the security barriers and was running over to us. Mike and Nick were in the tunnel before she even had a chance to blink.
The rest of the game was nerve-wracking. Nick waved at me the couple of times we happened to end up looking at each other. But after a couple of girls nearly ran out on the court, he spent less and less time on the bench. Mike seemed to decide that things were out of control when a girl got through the barriers, the security and actually got to Nick. He was nice enough, gave her a hug and a kiss, but after that, Mike pulled him out of there.
That was it. I got a few final quotes and hurried out before the last bus left me stranded. But I hummed I Want it That Way all the way home. Seeing him again was the best thing that could have happened. No, talking to him was. No wait, having him remember me was the best thing.
I couldn’t really decide.

I think it was because I had such a good night, that the following morning I decided it was time to decide. I was tired of taking the bus, living in a shabby neighborhood and just waiting to jump-start my life. I was sure that I couldn’t walk into the LA Times and ask if the job offer still stood. But California is full of newspapers, and I could land a job somewhere else, one that would let me live.
Besides, a month ago that I let my older sister talk me into letting her take my mother to live with her. I don’t know where that had even come from. Maybe it was the impending Mother’s Day that made her come to her senses and realize that Mom wasn’t going to be around forever. Sick as she was, she missed having everybody around. And truth be told, my sister had a bigger house, more money, and therefore could afford a full-time nurse.
It was all for the better, and so now, it would be easier than ever to do something different.
“Rebecca?”
I looked up from the sidewalk at the sound of my name.
“Hey Rebecca, remember me?”
Mike. He was wearing jeans and a big, red, sleeveless T-shirt that accentuated all his rippling muscles.
I smiled. “Hey Mike. Nice to see you again. How are you?”
He grinned. “Great. I’m great. How are you?”
“Fine. How’d it go last night?” I stopped myself from asking for Nick because I was afraid of the answer. I didn’t want it to be a mere coincidence that Mike and I bump into each other.
“Good, I think. They made lots of money, but Nick’s team died out there in the fourth quarter.” He glanced up at the curb. “You still take the bus?”
“Yeah. I’m gonna buy a car,” I told him. “I just need to get a new job that pays real money first.”
“LA Times?” he asked with a small smile.
“Hopefully. I’d like to move out of the ‘hood someday, you know?”
Mike laughed easily and looked around. “Yeah, everybody does. So, what’s new? Boyfriend? Married now? You just disappeared yesterday.”
“It was late,” I said then laughed. “No. Why? Are you gonna ask me to marry you?”
“Me?” he asked laughing heartily at that one. “Nick would fire me. No, he’d have me killed. He and Brian would sic Tyke on me. Or worse yet, the pugs.”
I smiled and noticed my bus smoking its way toward the curb.
“That’s me,” I told him. “I have to get to work. It was nice seeing you again. Say hi to Nick for me. And--.”
My words got caught in my throat as the familiar black Durango eased around the bus and stopped at the corner.
Mike smiled. “What? You’re not a fan anymore?”
“Yeah, it’s just that I...,” I looked from the truck to Mike then back again.
“Look, he’s a little insecure, you know that. We were looking for you last night to get dinner. But since you were gone, he wanted me to check things out before he came looking for you because he lost your number again and was too embarrassed to admit it. So, I had to come track you down, and...”
Nick appeared from behind the truck pushing a baseball cap over his head.
I felt myself lose my breath.
“... don’t just stand here. Go.” I felt Mike give me slight push toward him, then I heard him laugh.
“Hey,” Nick called making his away around the boarding bus-riders. “Hey Becky.”
I reached him before my name was out of his mouth.
“Nick! I can’t believe--.”
He was laughing holding me close. “Shh!” he scolded. “Don’t get me recognized, okay? Are you doing okay?”
“Yes. How are you?”
I finally let go, looked at him and almost fell over. He was better-looking than ever if that was possible, even though I had just seen him. His blue eyes shone turquoise in the bright morning sun. I must have been gawking at him like a star-struck fan because he laughed, and Mike joined in too.
“What?” I finally asked when I was able to operate my jaw again. “What’s so funny?”
“You,” Nick said wrinkling his nose. “You’re funny. C’mon. You’re going to work, right?”
“Yeah,” I said. “You?”
“I’m going to take you,” he said indignantly because I hadn’t known. “What’d you think? I just came here to race the bus?”
I laughed. “No. But--.”
He pulled my hand into his as we walked toward his truck. “Look, I told you I’d be in touch, and I don’t lie. I’m sorry I didn’t call. I--.”
“I told her,” Mike said from behind us. “I told her you lost the number and are too much of a chicken shit to admit it.”
Nick laughed as he opened the truck door for me. “I’m not! Okay, yeah I am, but I came back. Right?”
“Right,” I said climbing in. “You did.” And how, I was thinking.
“I wanted us to hang out last night, but things just got too out of control. Sorry about that. We didn’t even get to talk.”
“It’s okay,” I said because he always made everything okay.
Once again Nick had to pick his way through the busy streets to get to the freeway entrance. The hot, June sun was already shining brightly though it was barely after eight.
“You’re at the same newspaper, right?”
“Right,” I said.
Mike laughed hard from the back seat.
“Shut up,” Nick told him trying to look at him through the review mirror. “Shut up, or I’ll stop and leave you here.”
Mike shrugged. “Go ahead. I’m not afraid of the ‘hood. You’re just such a liar.”
“I’m not a--.”
Mike leaned forward. “Becky, this guy had me search all over Los Angeles for your little newspaper when we got into town last week. Everyday he’s been here, he’s read over the whole thing looking for your by-line. Then he’s stood around debating whether he should go to your office, to your house, to your bus stop, to the grocery store you might shop at. It’s been endless.”
I didn’t even know what to say. I looked from Mike then to Nick, who smiled and watched the traffic jam in front of him. He didn’t even look embarrassed. I was beyond embarrassed and had to settle for playing with button on the cuff of my white blouse.
He had been looking for me? I could barely get passed the fact that he had remembered me.
“Well, thanks,” I said and sounded very dumb.
Nick just shrugged. “It’s true. So what? I wanted to see you again, and I didn’t have the guts to go knocking at your door. I asked Mike to help me because that’s what friends are for. To help. Not to rat you out.”
Mike let out a hearty laugh and patted Nick’s shoulder. “You know I love you, man. But it just wouldn’t be me if I kept these things to myself.”
“Yeah well, you’re scaring Becky, so shut up,” Nick said turning up the radio. “Huh Becky?”
“I’m not scared,” I said though my heart took a thud at my chest. “Why should I be scared?”
Nick and Mike both laughed at that one.
“Well, I’m glad you’re not scared around me,” Nick said changing lanes. “Now if I could just get you to stop being nervous.”
I looked at him, and he smiled all bright eyes and white teeth.
“I’m sorry,” I said letting go of the button. “I guess I’m just not used to--.”
“It’s okay,” Nick said. “I know this must be strange enough for you, especially after last night. I was really happy to see you. But understand that I really had a good time with you last time. I meant it when I said that I’d keep in touch. It’s just that I left that cell in Tampa, and so I lost all access to your number.”
Mike laughed. “Excuses. Hey, there’s your exit.”
“Oops,” Nick said and cut someone off to change lanes again. He laughed watching the older man behind him yell and make obscene gestures at him. Then he shook his head.
“How can you live in this city, Beck?” he asked looking around the stalled traffic at the exit. “It’s so congested, so dirty, so .... big.”
I shrugged. “It’s home, Nick.”
He shot me an apologetic look. “I didn’t mean--.”
“I know what you meant,” I said. “I was just telling Mike that I’m ready to move out and find a nicer place. But to do that, I have to get a better job.”
“And your mom’s still sick?”
I nodded. “She’s not going to get better. If anything, she’s a little worse.”
He didn’t say anything after that but pulled in front of the newspaper office. I couldn’t remember him ever getting there so quickly. Well, he’d only given me a ride twice before.
“Guys, I’m gonna go,” Mike announced.
“Go where?” Nick asked shooting him a surprised look through the review mirror.
“You don’t have go,” I told him.
He shook his head. “I’m going to check out a gym around here where I used to work out. Maybe hook up with some old friends. I’ll get back to the hotel on my own, Frack. Don’t worry. Will you be okay?”
Nick nodded. “Becky’s going to work. I’m just going to go back to the hotel myself.”
I looked up at the shabby building that housed our little newspaper. It was the last place I wanted to be, especially now.
“I’ll catch up with you there,” Mike said. “Nice seeing you again, Becky. If you change your plans for the day, you’d better call me Nick.”
He nodded. “Sure. I’ll be fine.”
“Bye,” I said as he climbed off the truck.
“Bye,” he waved stepping around the truck to cross the street. Nick was watching him and didn’t stop until he was out of sight. Then he looked over at me.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Last time we were here, you were all anxious to get to work.”
I just laughed.
“Not that I want you to run off the truck, but…,” he grinned. “It’s just strange.”
That was so like me. One of my wildest dreams had come true when I met Nick Carter and even then I was in a rush to get to work.
“I don’t want to go in,” I admitted. “It’s the last place I want to be.”
“Why? ‘Cause I’m here?”
That couldn’t be more true. “Of course, Nick. What else did you think it was? I’m glad to see you. Who wouldn’t be?”
Nick leaned over me to get a closer look at the building.
“I still can’t believe you’re here. I never thought I’d see you again,” I was saying as I struggled not to let his lightly scented cologne distract me. “I mean, maybe in concert, but not up close like this. Not like last time.”
“That’s for sure. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to find you again. I left my stupid phone at home, but you have to know I had every intention of calling, of getting together again, even if just to say hi, or for lunch.” He wrinkled his nose at my office. “But what? Why don’t you really want to go in there? What’s wrong?”
“With you around, work is the last thing on my mind.”
He laughed. “Okay, you’ve complimented me. Now tell me the truth.”
I sighed. “I’m not lying. I’m just tired. I’m tired of working in that dingy office, of not making any money, of--.”
“What about your mom?”
“That’s just it. She’s living with my sister now, so I don’t really have an excuse for staying here, or for living in the ‘hood.”
Nick laughed. “You don’t live in the ‘hood. You live in a neighborhood but not in the ‘hood, like a bad neighborhood. I live in a gated community now. Do you know what that is?”
“Like where your parents live? In Malibu?”
“Lived,” he corrected. “Boy, you really don’t keep up with gossip, do you? But a gated community means you’re separated from everyone else. Security has the right to search any guests you might invite to your house. And,” he said with a laugh. “And I can’t drive to a nearby bakery to have chocolate cake with strawberries. Just about anything I could want is far away.”
“Mike could go get it for you.”
He smiled and placed his hands back on the steering wheel. “I’m not like that. I can’t get a craving for chocolate cake and tell Mike to go get some. It’s my craving. I have to feed it. Besides, he’s a body guard, not a butler. He’d get offended.”
I didn’t say anything because in those six short months, I had forgotten how natural he was, how quickly he put people at ease.
“I’m not complaining about the fame,” Nick said. “I know that I have no right to complain. Right now, it would be sin to complain about my life even just on a bad day. But I wish things could be different sometimes, you know?”
I nodded and looked back at the office. “Me too.”
Seemingly out of nowhere, he took my hand into his.
“Don’t go,” he said. “If you don’t want to go to work, don’t. Let’s hang out. Go catch a movie or eat lunch later or something. We could go look for a house for you.”
“I can’t afford a house, Nick,” I said. “I have to get a new job first.”
“Okay, lets go look for a job. If the LA Times would take you once, I’m sure they’d take you again.”
I held on to his long fingers and shook my head. “Naw. I’m not feeling confident enough to go job hunting. How long are you in town?”
“Awhile. We won’t start recording until next month, so I’m helping Aaron out with his stuff. Why?”
“I don’t want to spend what little time I have to hang out with you looking for a job.” I shrugged. “Let’s do it. I’ll skip work.”
“Yeah?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
He pulled his hand away and started the engine. “Let’s go before your boss peeks out and sees you here. Or you change your mind. Wave by to the working blokes,” he said with a laugh.
“Blokes?”’
“I pick up all kinds of words in Europe. You’d be surprised.”
I laughed as he checked his mirrors and eased back into the street.
I had never skipped work. Ever. I’d gone to work sick countless times. Worked through the holidays just because I felt responsible. I couldn’t believe I was going to do this. Then again, I couldn’t believe that I was back in Nick’s truck.
“Here,” he said holding a phone out to me as we got back on the freeway. “Mike lent me this one to replace the one I left back home.”
“Do you want me to hold it?”
He laughed. “No. Call work. Tell them that you’re sick or stuck in traffic or whatever. You’re sitting there dying because you’re lying about what we’re doing.”
“It’s okay,” I said.
But he just pushed the phone closer to me.
“I think it’s a stomach virus,” I ended up telling Al. “I just can’t make it.”
“Are you okay? Do you need anything?”
“No,” I said looking out the window as Nick maneuvered around the still-heavy morning traffic. “But I won’t be able to write the basketball game story.”
“It’s okay,” he said. “We’ll use something from the wire. If you got anything more interesting, we can run that later. Drink liquids and take care.”
“Thanks, Al.”
“Sure,” he said. “Bye.”
I clicked off the phone and looked at Nick.
“Check out the day ahead of us,” he said smiling at the sun. “What do you want to do?”
What a question. I could think of a million things between Disneyland, the beach, museums, San Diego--.
“Wanna go see your mom?”
“What? Are you serious?” I asked.
He laughed. “Sure. Yeah. Of course I’m serious. We can go see your mom while we decide what to do. I’m sure she’d be happy to see you.”
“Okay, sure. Let’s do that.”
I had to give him directions to my sister’s house in a small suburb in the San Gabriel Valley. She lived in a much better neighborhood than I did.
“In a sense, I’m glad Mom’s out here,” I was telling Nick as he exited the freeway. “It’s better for her.”
“But you miss her?”
I didn’t answer. He already knew.
“I can tell,” he said. “Just the way you talk about her, the look you get on your face.”
I glanced back at him and still couldn’t believe that he was back, just like nothing.
“What? It’s true. You look sad, and I never saw you look like that on my birthday.”
“Who could be sad on your birthday?” I asked as he turned into my sister’s street. “Well, besides, you?”
He laughed. “Yeah, that started out being a sucky birthday. Thanks for the save.”
“I didn’t do anything. I just--.”
“Quiet. Yes you did. Is this it?” he asked pointing at the small, brick house with the huge garden.
“Yup,” I nodded.
My sister’s garden was full of flowers and bees, so we rushed up to the front door. Apparently, my sister and her husband had gone to work, and my nieces were at school.
“Hi Rebecca,” the nurse greeted as we walked in. She was very nice and very efficient, but she wasn’t me.
“Hey. This is my friend, Nick. This is Nurse Taylor. How’s my mom?”
“Hi Nick. It’s nice to meet you. She’s not doing so great, Rebecca,” she said pressing a sympathetic smile at me.
“Why? What’s wrong? Is she sick?”
I felt Nick catch my hand behind me.
“I think it’s just a bad day. People with Alzheimer’s tend to have many of those. Maybe she’ll feel better if you go talk to her.”
“Want me to come?” Nick asked right away. “I’ll go.”
“Yeah,” I said pulling him down the hallway with me. “Thanks.”
The softly lit room smelled like the fresh flowers on the table. Maybe the nurse’s words had me fearing the worst, but she looked well enough. She was sitting in her favorite chair staring at cartoons on the television. She was wearing her favorite pink house dress, and her hair was swept out of her face with a black plastic headband.
“Hi mom,” I greeted kissing her cheek. “How are you?”
Of course, she didn’t answer. But I usually got a smile, a look or just a glimmer in her unfocused eyes. But there was nothing. It was almost as if she were lost, vacant.
I felt Nick’s hold on my hand tighten as I pushed a stray strand of gray hair out of her face. “Those are beautiful flowers. Did Sandra cut them for you today?”
No answer. She wouldn’t even look at me.
“They are nice,” Nick echoed.
She didn’t glance at him either, and she was always very aware of strangers.
Her breakfast was untouched on the tray, and the little row of pills on the night stand caught my attention. I never knew there were so many.
“Hey, want to try breakfast again?” Nick asked brightly as he stepped around me. “It is the most important meal of the day.”
She was staring at the television still motionless. The Flintstones chattered to each other in Spanish. My mother always hated cartoons.
I grabbed the remote and turned it off as Nick brought the tray around.
“And this stuff looks really good,” he was saying. “Look at this fruit, and there’s oatmeal and toast…,” he broke off because she wouldn’t even glance at us. Her attention was still focused on the blank television screen.
“She’s never been this bad with me,” I whispered, but I’m not sure why. “It’s like she’s not even here.”
“It’s okay,” Nick whispered back setting the tray on the bed. “Just try.”
He put the bowl of cold oatmeal in my hand, and I scooped out a spoonful.
“C’mon Mom, just a taste.”
I held the spoon in front of her, but she didn’t even look at it.
“Want me to warm it up?” I offered.
Still nothing.
“How about the fruit?” Nick asked handing me a small chunk of cantaloupe on a fork. “Everybody likes fruit.”
We must have held that fork at her for five straight minutes, and she didn’t even flinch.
Nick finally took it out of my hand and sighed.
“I’m sorry, Becky,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I said and touched her warm hand. She didn’t even try to hold my hand, and she always did that. I felt a strange tightness in the back of my throat. I didn’t want to cry. I had promised her a long time ago that I wouldn’t cry.
“We can just say here,” Nick offered. “Keep her company? Maybe she’ll come around?”
I finally turned back to him and took a deep breath. Unbelievably, he was still there. I shook out my head to try and get a firm grasp of reality, of what was right in front of me.
“It’s okay,” I tried to say, but the words were caught in my throat.
“Becky,” he said softly and touched my hair. “I’m sorry.”
There was nothing for him to be sorry about. It wasn’t his fault that things were all wrong.
I cleared my throat and took his hand back into mine. “It’s okay. Look, I knew these days were coming, and I’m ready.”
His too blue eyes were set on mine as he nodded. “But I know this isn’t easy. If it was my mom--.”
“It’s fine. Everything is fine.” I leaned in once again to kiss her on the cheek. She didn’t even flinch. “We’d better go before it gets any later.”
“Are you sure?”
I nodded standing up. “C’mon.”
He put the tray back on the table and followed me back down the hallway.
“Has she seen the doctor?” I asked Nurse Taylor who was still in the living room. “Has Sandra made an appointment?”
She nodded. “For tomorrow at noon. But you know things aren’t going to get better, right Rebecca? You’re not expecting a recovery, are you?”
“No. I know what’s wrong with my mother. Just please tell my sister that I’ll meet her at the doctor’s office tomorrow. I want to be there.”
She smiled at me. “Sure. I’ll let her know. Nice meeting you Nick. Bye Rebecca.”
“Bye,” I heard Nick call after us as I hurried him out the door.
Things weren’t supposed to get bad so soon. I had only left my mother alone for a month, and she was already much worse than she had ever been. I didn’t remember ever giving her so many pills, and maybe that was the problem. All I wanted to do was get out of there before I got angry at my sister, at the nurse and at myself for ever letting her go there.
I didn’t stop until we got to the truck, and even then, I didn’t wait for him to unlock the door. The alarm went off emitting this obnoxious sound that filled the entire street. The one lady out for a late morning walk stared at us.
“I’m sorry,” I said as he fiddled with keys until he was able to disable it.
“It’s okay. No problem. Don’t worry,” he said as the silence occupied the street once more. “See? It’s okay.”
I was already yanking on the door handle again when he pulled me back.
“Hey, stop,” he said. “Are you okay? Everything all right?”
I finally stopped and blinked as hard as I could to stop the tears from filling my eyes. It was easier just to stare at the ground. “Listen, today might not be such a good idea after all. I have to take off from work tomorrow to go to the doctor, so I should go to work. I’m sure you have a million things to do with you brother, so it wouldn’t be fair for to just keep you from them.”
He waited for what seemed like a long time then pushed my chin up with his thumb. I forced myself to look up and not burst into tears.
“I’m sorry,” he said again. “I’m sorry that this is happening to your mom. I know it’s hard for you and--.”
I cut him off because I didn’t want to talk about it. To burden him. “I knew this was going to happen. Listen, I’d just better go back to work. If it’s too much trouble for you, I’ll just call a cab.”
“What?” he looked startled, even hurt. “No. Don’t say that to me. I’ll take you wherever you want to go, but I don’t understand why it’s so hard for you to just…” Mercifully, he stopped and sighed. “Okay. I’ll take you back. C’mon.”
The drive back on the now-empty freeway was silent. I could tell Nick was beyond uncomfortable because he even turned off the radio. I was crazy to get him involved in my life, to even let him come back. What was he going to do? Sing my mom back to health? I knew these days would be coming. I was prepared to face them alone.
In no time, he was back at the office.
“Rebecca…,” I heard him call, but I was climbing out as soon as he came to a stop. “Man! Why don’t you just--?”
“Thanks, Nick,” I called heading for the door. “It was great to see you again.”
“…yeah? Well, I’m sorry. Just remember that, okay?” I heard him coming after me.
As soon as I let the door closed behind me I had to stop. He was still standing right outside with a dazed expression all over his handsome face. He ran his hand through his hair and shook his head before taking a step back toward the truck.
I couldn’t just let him go like that. He was being nice, and it wasn’t fair to shut him out because I was hurt.
I opened the door. “Nick?”
He stopped and looked up at me.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m sorry to be doing this to you but--.”
“You’re not doing anything to me,” he said not coming any closer. “I’m not taking this personally. I know this is something you’re having a hard time dealing with, but…” He looked down at the sidewalk.
“What?” I asked standing in front of him once more.
“But weren’t you there for me once?” I finally got to look back into those eyes as he tried to smile at me. “And I understand that my birthday is nothing like what’s going on with your mom. But you know, I’ve been a lot of different things in my life already. I’ve been good at some of them and bad at others. The one thing I always try to be good at is being a friend. And that’s all I’m trying for here. If you need me, I’m here.”
All of the hard-fought composure slid off me, and the tears, the sadness the despair defeated me with those words.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he said pulling me into his arms. “That’s all I can say. I know they’re just words, but they’re all I have. And I know that they don’t help, but it’s all I can give you, Becky. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I managed mutter from his chest. “I know there’s nothing you can do. It just hurts.”
“I can imagine,” he said. “I can just imagine.”
I let go of him and wiped my face. He pushed off a tear with his thumb and swept my hair behind my ear.
“I can’t do this,” I told him. “I have to be strong because I promised her that I would.”
“Then you’d better keep your promise,” he said. “And I know you will. But remember to take care of yourself too. And if you need a little help, I’m here. I mean, I’m here right now. Take advantage of me.”
I almost laughed but could only manage to smile at him. “Yeah, okay.”
“I’m going to leave you my numbers, just in case. Call me after you see the doctor if you want, and we can talk. We can hang out or I’ll just sit with you. Whatever you want. Heck, I’ll even go. Do you want me to pick you up?”
I shook my head. “You’d better not. If you’re there I’ll break.”
He chuckled. “I always make people cry. Why do I have that effect on people? Hang on.”
He hurried back to his truck and came back with a little piece of paper. “That’s the hotel number and the number for this cell. I’ll be expecting you to call, so you’d better. Understand?” he asked.
I nodded. “Nick, you don’t have to do this, you know.”
“I know. I also know you didn’t have to rescue my birthday, right?”
“That was my pleasure. You don’t have to pay me back.”
“I couldn’t even begin to try. But let me, yeah?” he smiled and hugged me once more. “It’s going to be okay. But just call me. Call me anytime. Do you promise?”
I hesitated because I never made promises that I didn’t keep. “Nick I--.”
“Do you promise?”
I bit my lip and looked at him. I don’t know how anyone could ever deny him anything. And it wasn’t even about what he looked like as much as they way he looked me. Like he cared. Like my silly, simple little life mattered to him.
“I promise,” I said.
“Good. Good enough. I’ll talk to you later then. Do you want me to walk you in?”
I shook my head. “I’m fine. Thank you. Thank you for everything.”
“I haven’t done anything,” he said and kissed me lightly on the cheek. “And even I did, you wouldn’t have to thank me.”
I forced myself to take a step away and back to reality. “Bye Nick.”
“Bye Beck.”

I know my mouth was wide open in shock the entire time I was in the doctor’s office because I couldn’t believe how quickly things had changed. But he said that was normal. That every patient was different. He said there was no explanation for my mother’s sudden deterioration, and that there was nothing we could do.
Just as her life wasn’t over, he couldn’t guarantee that she’d ever remember any of us, or speak to us again.
And then I felt something I never had experienced my entire life. I wanted to go away from her, from them. I just couldn’t take the reality and assimilate it. I, who had appreciated and relished every gift she’d ever given me, suddenly just wished not to be involved.
That’s all I could think the whole bus ride home.
I shouldn’t have been surprised to see the big, black truck parked in front of my house. I was almost tempted to turn around and walk away because being alone sounded really good. But when I really thought about it, it sounded awful, so I stopped at the passenger door and leaned into the closed window.
He was scribbling something in a little note pad, his brow furrowed in concentration. I was watching him finally without the awe. I guess I was thrown so far out of my reality that he finally looked liked a normal, real guy who was waiting for me.
I gently tapped on the glass.
He looked up, blue eyes wide and startled, then he smiled. The glass slid against my hand as the window opened.
“Hey Becky,” he said with that familiar grin.
“Hey. How are you?”
“Wait,” he said and put his notepad away in his backpack, then he climbed out of the truck. He was wearing long, khaki, baggy shorts and a white T-shirt. “I don’t really have to ask you how you are because I can see it written all over your face.”
There was nothing I could possibly say, so I just shrugged.
He put his arm around me, and gave me a tight squeeze. “Um, c’mon. Let’s go.”
“Where?”
“Just trust me. C’mon.”
So I just followed him back into the truck. What else could I do?
“Where’s Mike?” I asked as we buckled in.
“Bumming around. When we’re here, he basically does whatever he wants. I can keep myself out of sight enough to be okay, so I don’t worry too much about sticking close to him. He’s probably hanging with his old buddies or working out somewhere.” He shrugged. “You tired?”
I watched my old neighborhood from the comfort and safety of the air-conditioned truck. The bakery where I had bought Nick’s birthday cake was empty as everyone was at work or school. Only the old drunks loitered on their favorite graffiti-filled corners.
“Not really,” I said. “I’m just…”
“Hungry?”
“Uh-uh. More like numb, I guess.”
“The doctor give you bad news?” he asked heading back to that freeway. We sure spent a lot of time there.
“Yeah. Not what I wanted to hear.”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “You know that.”
“I know,” I said.
I felt him pull my hand back into his. I shifted and my seat to look at him. He was tall, blond and perfect. But he was so easy to be around, so cool and collected. If I had lived the typical college experience, like everyone else, I might have found someone similar to him. I might have had the chance to enjoy the love and support of a guy during the hard times. But I had been too busy studying, working hard and loving and supporting my mom. When she was gone, I wasn’t sure what I’d do with myself.
“What?” Nick asked glancing at me and intertwining his fingers with mine. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I’m just looking,” I said.
He laughed. “Oh. Okay.”
I hadn’t really taken note of where he was going until he ended up a hilly, road in Malibu that led to his parents’ house.
“What are we doing here?” I asked a bit surprised.
“You’ll see. You weren’t going back to work, right?”
“No. I doubt I could even sit still over there. You think I should call them?”
He gave me a look. “No. Forget about work for one day. One day, Becky. It’s not going to kill you.”
“Okay.”
He drove up the rock-walled fortress and punched in the security code.
“Are your parents home?” I asked as he slowly drove through the gate.
“They don’t live here anymore,” he said. “They actually live in a ranch quite a ways up north now, and they’re considering moving back to Florida. They haven’t decided to sell the house yet, but no one’s here.”
“Really? Why’d they decide to move?”
“Beats me,” he said putting the truck in park. “Let’s go inside, yeah?”
“Sure.”
He grabbed my arm. “Remember to let me open the door, okay? All right?”
I laughed. “All right.”
I pushed my hair behind my ear and glanced at myself in the rearview mirror as he made his way around the truck. At least I still looked somewhat decent.
He opened the door, took my hand and didn’t let go until we had reached the front door. I remembered how nervous I was the first time I had been there. I was worried about meeting the other guys, his parents and being at such a huge bash. Boy, things sure had turned out differently.
“No TV cameras today,” Nick said. “At least I don’t think.” He laughed easily enough at the memory, but his birthday party had been ruined by the press.
This time, instead of bright lights and people shouting, “Surprise!” we were greeted by silence. The house was dark and already had that air of emptiness and disuse.
“A couple of weeks after my birthday, we celebrated Valentine’s Day,” he was saying as he guided me through the hushed house. “And we had a real bash for that one. You should have seen it. My parents decided to throw a disco party. Do you like disco?”
“Sure,” I said following him.
“Well, my parents love disco music. They’re so funny like that. So they hired a DJ to play downstairs, and they decorated the whole basement like a disco. Wait till you see the floor. It has lights and everything. Did you ever see Saturday Night Fever?”
“Um-huh,” I said as we stopped at a staircase that must have led to the basement.
Nick stopped and looked at me. “Then brace yourself for this place, okay?”
I sucked back my hesitations because I probably should have refused his company. I should have stayed home and sulked alone instead of dragging him down with me.
“Hey,” he said. “C’mon. It’s okay. I promise that just for this little while, everything will be okay. Alright?”
He’d already read my mind, and I didn’t even know what to say.
He stood in front of me, one hand on each shoulder. “Look, it’s okay. You don’t really know me that well, I know. A million things must be going to through your mind, but do me a favor.”
“Sure,” I said. “Anything.”
“Trust me?”
I made myself laugh easily because I hated being so transparent. “Yeah. Okay.”
He took my hand again. “C’mon! Geez, I never had such a hard time with a girl before. Well okay, I did. When no one liked me, and I was this big dork, girls wouldn’t talk to me. But after that, it was easy to talk to girls. Why are you giving me such a hard time?”
“I’m not,” I protested as we headed down the stairs. “I’m just having a bad day, okay?”
“Yeah, I know. Listen, I’m trying to make that better, but you have to cooperate. Didn’t you ever watch Sesame Street? All they every preached was cooperation. Cooperation.”
I laughed.
This was not a basement. Basements are dank and messy full of things a family discards. It was a very well-kept spare room. Nick left me at the doorway and busied himself shutting the blinds over the small windows. The room immediately became much darker. He disappeared to a far corner, and I could hear him talking to himself and tinkering with some stuff.
“Stay there,” he ordered as I took a step inside.
“Okay.”
“Here we go,” he said and shut off the one, small over-head light which had been illuminating the room. I was in complete darkness.
Suddenly, the room was awash in blinking lights as a mirrored ball lowered from the ceiling, and floor in front of me flashed sparks of red, blue, yellow and white.
“At first I was afraid! I was petrified,” boomed the beginning of the familiar disco anthem.
I had to laugh, and the song abruptly stopped.
“Naw, that song’s too depressing,” Nick said. “Let’s try this.”
He put one something by some other seventies group. It started with a strange whistling beat then a woman’s voice began to sing in a high-pitched voice, “Gotta make a move to a town that’s right for me…town to keep me moving, keep grooving with some energy….”
Nick jumped in front of me and sang loudly over the speakers. “Well, let’s talk about it, talk about it, talk about it. Talk about. Talk about. Talk about moving! Won’t you take me to, Funky Town? Won’t you take me to, Funky Town?”
He danced crazily in front of me doing the John Travolta finger thing. He put his hand out to me, “C’mon.”
“Nick!” I protested, but he pulled me.
“Funky Town! Funky Town!” he sang loudly and apparently without any knowledge that they weren’t at that part of the song any more as we headed to the dance floor. “Take me down to Funky Town. Funky Town.”
And he danced in front of me with abandon. He made circles and spun me around, then he danced by himself being as silly as he could be.
“This is how my dad danced at the party,” he said and laughed. “C’mon! Don’t you want to dance with me?”
“I don’t want to interrupt your good time. I can’t disco dance. Heck, I can’t even dance.”
“Heck, neither can I,” he mocked me. “I forgot you were from Texas. C’mon. Just try. Please. Please?”
I doubted that any one on Earth could ever resist him.
“Okay.”
One silly disco song played after the other, and I tried just to keep up with him. I ended up doing that high school-like side to side step that everyone resorts to when they don’t know what to do. Nick was dancing up a storm, and I was beginning to worry he was going to push me away and start break dancing. But then he grabbed both my hands.
“Try this with me.”
He was making up disco steps as he went along, spinning me under his arm then pulling me toward him then pushing me away.
“I’m your boogie man. I’m your boogie man. Turn me on!” he was singing loudly now. “I’m your boogie man. I’m your boogie man. Do what you want.”
I had to stop because I was cracking up so hard.
“What?” he asked. “You don’t want me to be your boogie man?”
“No,” I said. “This is a strange song. I thought a boogie man was a bad thing.”
“No girl,” he said and bumped his hip into mine. “A boogie man is a man who boogies. C’mon boogie.”
I tried. I tried really hard, but I ended up laughing more at myself than at him because there was no way that I danced as well as he did.
He kept bumping my hip pushing me farther away each time.
“Okay all right. Nick made a big ass out of himself enough for one day,” he said watching me laugh. “That’s enough.”
“No,” I said trying to stop. “It’s just, it’s just… You’re so funny, Nick. You--.”
“I was just trying to make you laugh, and you did,” he shrugged. “Mission accomplished.”
I smiled up at him and held on to his waist. “You’re the best, you know that? I can’t believe you’ve taken a day like today and made it fun. I even feel guilty. But thank you.”
I felt him hold on to my waist and kiss the top of my head. “No problem. I like you, remember?”
“I like you too,” I admitted. “Who couldn’t like you?”
He laughed and pulled me a bit closer. “You’d be surprised. You feel okay, now?”
“Yeah. Thanks, I do.”
The music continued loudly around us.
“Shake, shake, shake. Shake, shake, shake. Shake your booty. Shake your booty.”
I didn’t let go of him, and he didn’t pull away. The lights flashed under us and illuminated his fair skin in different colors. But his clear, blue eyes remained the same, focused on mine returning my gaze.
He let go of me and turned toward the sound system.
“Let me take that off now,” he said. “Hang on.”
I stepped back and fought to reestablish my reality. This was supposed to be a dark day in my life, and here I was dancing and playing with Nick. I did feel guilty, but somehow not guilty enough.
The music died off and the lights on the floor stopped flashing, leaving us with just the mirrored ball above.
“I think I broke the lights,” Nick said. “Oops.”
“I doubt the new owners would mind. I’d love to have a room like this, a house like this.”
“Well now’s the time, Becky. I mean, think about it. You’re young. You’re single. You’re talented. You could do whatever you wanted. Did you even go back to the LA Times?” he asked returning to me.
“No. I was just too stuck in my rut, I guess. It was too easy to not even try and stay close to my mom.”
“But you don’t have that excuse anymore. She’s living with your sister, and--.”
“Soon she won’t be around at all,” I finished for him.
He gave me a look. “That is not what I was going to say.”
He pulled me by my waist to the edge of the dance floor where we sat down. It was strange to see the lights playing up on the walls and on his face in the silent room.
“I was going to say that they’ve finally taken on some responsibility instead of leaving it all to you,” he said pulling my hand into his. “You can now do whatever you want.”
I shrugged. “Not right away though. Things are going to get hard, and I should really be around to--.”
“To what, Becky? To watch? Do you think your mom would like that? From everything you told me, I doubt it.”
I looked at the floor instead of at him. I knew he was right.
“I think your mom wants you to be successful. To do things that make you happy. Otherwise, why’d you go to college?”
“To get a job,” I said.
“To get a job doing what you liked?”
I shook my head. “To get a job that would let me support us. To take care of her. That’s all my life has been, you know?” I shook my head. “No, I guess you don’t know. Look at your family’s house and think about mine.”
I heard him half-laugh. “Becky, you don’t know anything about my family. Nothing, huh? I bought this house, and the one we used to live in Tampa before that. And I bought the ranch they live in now. And I’m probably going to have to pay for the new one too. I take care of my family too. And we’re definitely talking about very different amounts of money, but the responsibility’s the same. I’d rather just be taking care of myself.”
I was watching the serious look take over his usually-happy face. In the time I had known him, he didn’t really open up much about his personal life.
“I feel guilty too,” he concluded with a shrug. “I know losing your mom is going to hurt a lot for you. But at least you know you’ve done what you’ve done out of love. You’ve been there because you know she needs you. Sometimes, with me, it’s as if this is a contract that I can’t get out of.”
“Do you think they’re taking advantage of you?” I asked.
He shrugged and pulled up his knees. “Honestly? Sometimes, I do. If they took care of the money they had, I wouldn’t have to do this all the time. Or if they settled down in one place maybe I wouldn’t feel like they were playing me, you know?”
I nodded. “Well, I wish my sister would have gotten involved before, you know? When I could have taken that job at the Times. Now, I have to start all over again.”
Nick sat up and held on to both my hands. “No. No you don’t. You just present yourself as a person who can now take advantage of the opportunity. You don’t owe them any explanations. I doubt they’ll even ask you. Just go. What have you got to lose?”
“Nothing,” I admitted.
“Exactly. And besides, the LA Times isn’t the only major newspaper in California or the States for that matter. You ever think of moving to Florida?” he asked shooting me a grin.
I lost my breath for a second. “No. I never--.”
“Why not? C’mon! I know people in Tampa, and it would be so much fun. We could actually do stuff when I’m in town. And more and more, I’m in town a lot. I think it would be a blast.”
I had to smile back at his enthusiastic words, but he was forgetting something. “I can’t go anywhere Nick. Not yet.”
“Becky…,” he began then stopped. He closed his mouth, and suddenly, leaned into my face, and kissed my lips. I closed my eyes and kissed him back slowly at first, our mouths closed. I felt his hand in my hair as he upturned my face and kissed me more deeply, mouths opened.
While we kissed, time seemed to slow to a crawl. When he stopped and opened his eyes, it seemed to have gone by in a flash.
“Let’s go to the Times,” he said. “What have you got to lose? Let me call my friends in Tampa. Maybe they need an LA correspondent.”
I smiled and brushed my lips with his once more. “I don’t know Nick.”
“I do,” he said confidently. “And I’m going to do it.”

“Are you nuts?” Roger asked when I told him all about my day with Nick. “Leave town? Just like that? Just ‘cause it was his idea?”
I shook my head because I knew he wasn’t going to understand. “It wasn’t just his idea. I mean, I’ve contemplated moving past this. This isn’t exactly the top of our profession.”
“I know. But we’re just starting out. It’s okay to start off small. I mean, think about all the experience you’re gaining here, your by-line all over the place. You’re a big fish in a little pond. Are you ready to be a little fish in a huge pond?”
I nodded. “What else can I do, Roge? Stay here forever? I don’t think so.”
He looked glanced over his shoulder at Al’s closed door. “What about your mom? Didn’t you want to stay in town because of her?”
“But she’s worse now. It won’t be long before she’s permanently hospitalized. Before she forgets who I am all the time. I can’t let that hold me back anymore. It’s not what she would want.”
He studied me, then shook his head. “Are you sure? Are you sure that seeing you everyday is not what she’d want?”
I sighed because the same thought had kept me awake almost all night.
“Or is that what he wants?”
“This is not about Nick. Leaving town was just an option. I’d prefer just to get a higher paying job here. I deserve it after all those years in college, and so do you. If I can get a great job here in LA, then I’ll stay. If I can’t…” I didn’t finish my sentence because he knew what I meant.
“Florida, huh?” he asked raising an eyebrow. “Wow. This Backstreet Boys thing is serious.”
“Roger--!” I protested.
“Hey Becky.”
I turned around toward the door to find Nick standing there with a big smile on his face.
“Hey Nick. Come in,” I said. “You remember Roger, right?”
Roger pressed a smile at him. “Hey, man.”
“Hi,” he said sitting on my desk. “Are you real busy?”
“Same old stuff. What are you up to today?”
He shrugged. “I was just hanging around, visiting my friends. And I decided that I was hungry, and that it was lunch time. So, you want to go to lunch?” He looked up at Roger. “You wanna come with us?”
Roge was grabbing his backpack. “Thanks. But I have an assignment. I guess I’ll be working through lunch. Bye guys.”
“Bye,” Nick called.
I just watched him go knowing that he was lying. Just before I mentioned Nick’s idea to him, we had been talking about what to do for lunch.
“Sure,” I said taking my purse. “I’m hungry. What do you feel like eating? Are you--?”
He was laughing.
“What?”
“Brian. Look at Brian,” he said looking at my calendar. “Man, we took those pictures a long time ago. Hey, we should go see him. He’s in New York, and I bet we could--.”
“I have to work,” I said.
He rolled his eyes. “That’s right. Your job. Oh well. C’mon.”
We ended up sitting next to each other in a booth at a small diner not far from the newspaper.
“So how are things?” Nick asked casually after we ordered.
“Things are fine. How are things with you?”
He shrugged. “Fine. I was actually working on songs today. Did I tell you that we start recording next month?”
I nodded. “Um-huh.”
“Yeah. I think we’re doing it in England, but guess what?”
I smiled up at him just enjoying his presence. He always seemed so happy, and I remembered what it was like to feel that way.
“What?”
“Kevin’s getting married. He’s actually doing it in town next weekend. Can you believe it?”
“Are you telling me this on or off the record?” I asked already knowing the answer.
“Off! Are you kidding? He’d kill me if he knew I was going around town telling people about it. But…,” he broke off with a tone of mystery.
I just waited for him to continue.
“He did invite me to the wedding. Do you want to go? It’s going to be one of those outdoor things like at the top of a hill by the beach or something. It sounds like fun. I don’t think I’ve been to too many weddings.”
“Of course I want to go,” I told him. “I’m going to take my spy cam, and I’m going to record the whole thing and publish a story in our puny, little newspaper. Can you imagine? We’d have the scoop on the Backstreet wedding.”
He pulled me into a tight embrace. “You do that, and your reporting days are over. I’ll send Mike after you. He’ll…he’ll…he’ll…Um, what’ll he do? He’ll think of something. Like maybe beat up your dog. Do you have a dog?”
“No,” I said.
He eased his grip on me and kissed my cheek. “Okay. All right then if you report on the wedding, I won’t tell you about the other surprise.”
I sat up to look at him. “There’s another surprise?”
He nodded. “I know you’ll like this one. A lot actually.” He closed his mouth and looked around sneakily.
“What?”
“Hm, you have to promise to keep quiet about Kev’s wedding,” he said shaking his head.
“I was kidding about that! I’d never--.”
“Promise,” he insisted. “I know you keep your promises, so you have to promise.”
“I promise, Nick. I was only kidding,” I said.
“Okay well, look at this,” he pulled his backpack out from under the table and took out an agenda. “You have three appointments next week. One at the LA Times, one at the San Diego Daily News and…,” he did the trail off thing again.
I tried to look at his book. “What Nick?”
“Are you good on the phone? I mean, if you had like a phone interview, like would your personality come through?”
“I hope so,” I said. “I conduct lots of interview follow ups over the phone.”
“Well, my friend at the Tampa News said he’d talk to you. I mean, it’s like a pre-interview type of thing, but they are hiring. And it is in Tampa. Where I live,” he added.
“Where you live.”
“All the time, Becky. What do you think, huh? Are you up for the challenge? To break out of the rut? To buy that car? To move out of the ‘hood?”
I was already laughing. “Yeah. Okay. I’ll take my chances with all three. But you didn’t have to do this. I could have requested the interviews on my own, you know?”
He shrugged. “I know. But if you did it on your own, you wouldn’t let me drive you to the Times, or to San Diego or put you in touch with Galen in Tampa. And then again, you might not do it at all.”
We’d only been hanging around again for a few days, and he already had me all figured out.
He pushed my hair behind my ear. “You know it’s true, so don’t pout.”
“I’m not--.”
“Yes you are. And I know you’re scared. You’re scared to leave your mom behind, to start something new, to fail, maybe even to succeed.”
“To succeed?” That was new.
“Yup,” he said proudly. “People are afraid of success all the time. It puts them out in the open, and away from all those things they know are safe. It’s my favorite place.”
I shook my head. He was just headstrong. He was brave and would try anything. I always wanted to be that way. I guess here was my chance.
The waitress dropped off our drinks and did a double-take at Nick when she walked away. That seemed to happen a lot, but it never seemed to bother him.
“So are you going to do it?” he asked after taking a sip of his soda.
“Of course. I don’t have a whole lot to lose, and I think I have the whole world to gain.”
He smiled. “You know what would be cool? If you got that job in Tampa. Can you imagine? I mean, you could stay with me all the time you wanted, until you settled in. Or longer than that.” He looked at me with that little smile. “And we could do so many things. Go sailing. Go snorkeling. Just go the beach. Just hang out. Life is different there. It’s still a big city like here, but people aren’t all in a hurry or rude. It’s like a big town, you know?”
I felt like I was holding my breath because if I breathed too hard, I might wake up. And the whole thing would be over. It would all be some crazy dream.
He seemed to get that I was confused. “Hey, I’m just wishing here, okay?”
I think my laughter threw him off, but I couldn’t help it. I was actually laughing at what he was telling me. He pulled his arm off of me and shook his head.
“Wait, wait. What are you laughing at?”
“I’m sorry,” I said making myself stop. “I’m sorry, but did I just hear you say that you’re wishing? You’re wishing to be able to spend time with me? I mean, you’re Nick Carter and--.”
He shook his head and leaned in closer to me. “I know my name very well. You don’t have to tell me who I am. I’m just throwing stuff out here because I enjoy spending time with you. Everything else would be up to how things worked out, you know?”
I was honestly at a loss for words. It seemed like I felt that way a lot in the last three days.
“Is it that unbelievable?” he asked looking a little hurt. “I mean, that beyond belief?”
“No. No, because I’ve spent time with you before, and I know what you’re like. How cool you are. But I always thought we were more friends than anything else. I mean, kissed and all, but I wasn’t sure what that meant to you. If it was just something,” I searched for the word. “Something chemical.”
He was the one laughing this time. “Chemical, huh? I never heard it put that way. Well, I like you, Beck. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. Believe me, I’m in no position to string girls along. I don’t have the time to do it. If I invest time in someone, it’s because I want things to work. I want to just see what happens, but I intend to seriously try.” He shrugged. “I’ll try if you will.”
I had to take in and release a deep breath. “Of course I would try. I mean, I’ve been so busy with everything else these last few years, that I haven’t even had a chance to date, and now that I can someone like you comes along.”
“Someone like me?” he repeated, his hand back in my hair.
“Someone awesome, fun, caring, funny.” I brushed my lips with his. “Someone perfect.”
“I’m not perfect,” he said pulling me back. Then he laughed. “But I’d say I get pretty damn close.”
I started laughing mid-kiss and the waitress returned with our food and an extra menu for Nick to autograph.

I wanted to think that it was normal. It had to be normal to date Nick and feel inadequate, yet secure around him. I had so many doubts about his feelings, his motivations for being interested in me that I was having a hard time enjoying my time with him. It was like I was always waiting for the bubble to burst, for the song to be over or for him just to go away.
We did a lot of stuff during those days: go see movies, eat lunch, dinner and then sit around talking. We talked for what seemed like hours about ourselves, the things that mattered to us and our feelings.
We were both pretty lonely, tired and looking to fill the void with someone special, someone important.
I knew that I was hoping that would be him.
“How’d it go?” he asked as we hurried out the door of the LA Times the day before Kevin’s wedding.
“Good, I think,” I said. “I mean, I feel good. She was really nice and seemed really interested in what I’ve written. She said I should submit some of my stuff for freelance work if nothing else. Just to get my foot in the door.”
“Cool,” he said. “Galen still wants to talk to you, though. Don’t go accepting anything at the Times right away.”
“Sure Nick,” I said trying not to laugh. He seemed more excited about the Tampa job than me. “Listen, I need to drop by my sister’s tonight. I don’t know what time I’ll be home if you were planning to call.”
“It’s okay,” he said. “Brian’s bachelor party dinner might actually turn into a real bachelor party.”
“Really?” Kevin had been set in keeping everything low key.
“Yeah, Bone’s in town and he makes everything a big production. I think he’s going to want to do the whole nine yards tonight. Just us guys, Kevin’s brother, drinks, more drinks, stuff like that.”
“Strippers?” I asked shooting him a look.
“Maybe. Jay’s in charge, and I’m just going to tag along. Poor Kev doesn’t even know what he’s in for. He actually just wanted to go to bed early.”
“Is he doing okay? Not nervous, right?”
“He’s known Kristin too long to be nervous. They might as well just already be married. I do think they were meant to be. Want me to take you to your sister’s?”
“Sure,” I said. “Let’s go.”
I shouldn’t have gone that night. I just should have gone home and waited for Nick to call and tell me about the party. Or maybe we could have had a late dinner and kept doing our thing. But as usual, I couldn’t let go of things with my mother, though I was sure she understood. My sister, however,…
“Well, well,” she said when Karla, my niece, let me in.
“Hey Sandra,” I greeted. “How are you?”
“I’m fine. I’m okay,” she said and stood there glaring at me.
I tried to smile at her, but she didn’t even pretend not to be in a bad mood.
“How’s mom?” I asked.
“What do you care?”
I decided to keep myself in check and let her explain herself. “Well, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t care, right? Is something wrong?”
She set her lips into a hard line and gave my niece a look that sent her trotting upstairs.
“Sandra--,” I tried to begin.
“No. Don’t Sandra me. What the hell is your problem? Where have you been, Rebecca? What have you been doing all week that you can’t even drop by and check on Mom? What on Earth could be more important than her?”
“I’m looking for a job,” I said as casually as I could. “It takes up a lot of time, you know?”
“Well, Mom takes up a lot of time too, you know?”
“That’s why you got the nurse,” I told her trying to step past her toward the hallway.
Of course, she blocked my path.
“You think the nurse can take the place of family? That she can replace you? Her daughter? Don’t you think she knows you’re not around? Don’t you think she misses you? You think just because she lives here now that she just doesn't want you around?”
“No,” I said. “I know that she does, but I’ve been busy and--.”
“You have a boyfriend, don’t you? Boy, you sure didn’t waste any time after you got Mom out of the house.”
That was it. “I didn’t get her out of the house, Sandra. You took her, remember? You finally got off your ass and decided to take an interest in her life. Even if it’s almost too late, right?”
She blinked at me. “What?”
“Well, where had you been? Where had you been for the last seven years? All the times I had to take care of her and make sure that she was okay. You’d drop by and say hello every once in awhile, when you remembered and--.”
“I’ve been raising a family.”
“Mom is family,” I told her. “She never stopped being family. But what has stopped is my life while yours just went on and on. Now that you’ve taken responsibility, I’m taking my life back. I’m getting a new job, probably a new place and yes, I have someone in my life now. But you know what? I put all that off for a long, long time. I think it’s time that I go ahead and do my thing as much as I can.”
Sandra’s round, brown eyes couldn’t take in everything at once. I was always quiet about their lack of interest in my mother’s life, and the outburst seemed to surprise her.
“I’m not doing anything wrong,” I said taking advantage of her silence. “I haven’t forgotten what’s important.”
She finally moved out of my way, and I stepped toward the room.
“Are you sure?” I heard her ask when I was in the hallway.

The wedding was held at a fancy estate on an ocean-side cliff. Everything was beautiful in its simplicity, with tiny daisies all over the place and less than sixty guests. Even Kristin’s dress was just a simple white sheath, and she didn’t wear a veil.
“Mostly family,” Nick explained as we hurried outside for the ceremony. It was going to be held outside at sunset while the reception was all set in the main ballroom.
“How was the bachelor party?” I asked.
He looked obviously tired though he hadn’t called me until well past three that afternoon.
“It was fun,” he said with a chuckle. “Howie got sick on some tequila, but we had a good time. Nothing major.”
“What time did you get home?”
“Sometime this morning. I think Kristin was up waiting for Kev though. She must have given him an earful. He and Brian had promised that there would be no bachelor party, but I guess they hadn’t counted on AJ. So, she just thought we’d all gone out to dinner. What about you? What’d you do?”
I shrugged deciding not to start up on what happened at my sister’s.
“Did you have a good visit with your mom?”
“Sure,” I said as we sat in the second row on Kevin’s side. “It was okay.”
“Hey guys,” AJ greeted sitting next to me. I remembered how cool he was on Nick’s birthday. And as opposed to Nick, he looked fresh and well-rested.
“Boner,” Nick greeted as they did this handshake thing. “Remember my friend Becky?”
“Yeah,” he said shaking my hand as well. “It’s nice to see you. All ready to watch Kevy Kevin cry?”
“He’s not gonna cry,” Nick said. “He’s gonna cry when they dance.”
“He’s gonna cry,” AJ said dryly. “As soon as he sees Kristin walking down that aisle, he’s going to cry. Wanna bet?”
“No,” Nick said. “I always lose those bets.”
“You guys bet on when Kevin’s going to cry?” I asked.
Nick nodded. “He cries a lot. It’s kind of funny because he likes to act all strong.”
“But it’s an act,” AJ said.
Howie showed up not much later looking a bit green. They took their places next to us, and the ceremony began.
It was a good thing that Nick didn’t take AJ’s bet because Kevin pretty much cried on the spot. It was a neat thing to see. The love between these two was apparent in the way they looked at each other, the vows they had written and in the blessings the minister prayed for. As opposed to Nick, I had been to a handful of weddings, and it always seemed to me that couples did superficial things to make people think that they were in love. Kevin and Kristin were in love, and all they had to do was smile at each other to prove it.
“I’m so tired,” was the first thing Kevin said to Nick when we went to congratulate them after the ceremony. “Never take me out again.”
“Hm, I don’t think that’s going to be possible anymore, Kev,” Nick said. “But congratulations.”
Kevin laughed finally letting go of him. “Yeah, yeah. That’s right. And thanks. Thanks for coming. I’m really glad you guys did.”
“You remember Becky, right?” Nick asked pulling me toward them.
“Sure. Yeah. You were at Frack’s birthday party. How are you? Thanks for coming.”
“Thanks for the invitation. And congratulations,” I said as he pulled me into a hug.
“Thanks,” he said. “Thanks a lot, you guys.”
“No problem,” Nick said.
AJ pushed past us to hug him as well. “It was our job to make sure that you were hung over on your wedding day. And you knew that we were not going to fail.”
“Hush,” Kevin said. “Kristin’s still mad at me for going out. She thought I was going to forget our vows.”
“Naw, not you,” Howie said next in line for a hug. “We knew you’d never forget that.”
“Well,” Kevin said sheepishly turning up his palm to reveal some smeared ink. “Truth is that I didn’t exactly trust myself to remember.”
“I had the other crib sheet too,” Brian said coming through the crowd. He was in the wedding party though Kevin’s brother had been his best man. “See?” He pulled a little piece of paper out of his breast pocket. “Good thing you didn’t need it.”
Kevin smiled up at the guys, and he pulled Nick closer to him on one side with AJ on the other. “I’m so glad you guys are all here. I didn’t think you were all going to make it.”
They laughed and all talked at the same time.
“… just don’t cry anymore,” Nick said.
Everyone laughed at that, and Kevin pushed him. “Shut up. The day you get married, I want to see you keep from bawling. Where’s my wife?”
She was swept up in a crowd of her friends, but she seemed to hear him call her because she turned.
“Ready to go? These people are going to go eat our food while we get ready,” he said pulling away from the guys.
She gave away a couple of more hugs and made her way over to the guys who all congratulated her as well. Nick reintroduced me to her.
“Thanks for coming,” she said smiling. “I’m glad at least Nick found a date. I can’t believe he has to set an example for the rest of you.”
“I have a date,” Brian protested.
“And I…,” AJ dropped off then cleared his throat and continued. “And I’ve sworn off being with a woman for the time being. Being with one woman at a time that is.”
She laughed as Kevin pulled her closer to him. “Don’t worry, you’ll find the right one. Just be patient.”
“Let’s go,” Kevin said kissing her cheek. “See you guys in a bit.”
“See you,” Kristin waved.
“Man, I’m not ever getting married,” AJ breathed. “Never, ever. Ever.”
They were out of hearing distance.
“Why?” Brian asked surprised.
“Because it’s pressure. Imagine. That one girl for the rest of your life? Forever,” he spat. “And ever.”
Nick laughed. “Well, we’ve got awhile before making those choices. I wouldn’t write it off yet if I were you.”
“Yeah,” Howie agreed. “I’m gonna see how Kev does. If he can handle it, I’ll consider settling down.”
Brian looked as confused as I felt. “You guys are nuts,” he said. “It’s not like getting married is a bad thing. If that’s what you think then you shouldn’t get married.”
I felt Nick’s arms around my waist pull me closer.
AJ and Howie looked at Brian like they weren’t sure of what to say.
“It’s a tough choice,” I said speaking up. “You have to be sure when you make it. Right?”
“Right,” Brian nodded. “Let’s go grab a table. I have to go find Leigh Anne. C’mon.”
“What do you think?” Nick asked as we walked toward the reception. “Are you ever going to get married?”
“If it’s right,” I said. “I haven’t written it out of my life yet. And you?”
He shrugged. “If it’s right. I think Howie might have something, though. I’m going to see how Kev does with the whole thing.”
I shook my head at him. “He’s like a guinea pig, huh?”
“He who goes first,” Nick said. “That’s the plan. He who goes first has to share with the rest of us.”
“Can’t wait till they have kids,” AJ chimed in behind us. “That’s gonna be fun.”
Nick wrinkled his nose. “Kids? I’m still dealing with my brother and sisters. Who wants more kids?”
“They’re gonna have a bunch of kids,” Howie said assuredly. “Just watch. You know Train wants a big family.”
During dinner, Howie and AJ discussed the girls in the wedding party and their odds of finding one who was worth their time. They even stopped Brian to ask him what he thought of them. Then they got to talking about breast sizes and the odds of getting lucky.
Nick shook his head. “Sorry. They can be a pain.”
“They’re guys,” I shrugged. “That’s how guys are, right?”
“Most of the time,” Nick said. “But I don’t want to be like that all the time. I guess that’s why…,” he stopped and moved closer to me. “I guess that’s why I keep bugging you.”
“You’re not bugging me.”
“Yeah, I am. We haven’t known each other that long, and it’s not like I have a normal life. You must think I’m nuts.”
“Honestly? You want to know what I think?”
He nodded.
I moved closer to him to lose Howie and AJ’s inane conversation.
“I think this is crazy,” I said. “But at the same time, I’m glad that it is. I’m glad that you’re here, that you like me, that I’m here. I have questioned my luck a million times. You have no idea. But if I sit back here and question things, I won’t enjoy my time with you. And no matter how things end up, I’d kick myself forever if I just walked away because I’m insecure.”
He smiled and kissed my cheek. “But you’re not insecure. That’s why I like you. Most girls act so weird around me and the guys. You don’t. You see how we’re just normal. We’re just guys.”
“But you’re special,” I told him softly. “I mean, beyond this, beyond the guys and the group. You are.”
He laughed. “I’m not.”
“You are. No matter what, you are. You’ve encouraged me to move on through things that are so difficult for me with such confidence. I am insecure, Nick. Just not around you because you make everything safe.”
For the first time, he seemed at a loss for words. He shook his head and leaned back while he thought.
“What?” I asked. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No,” he said and sat forward. “You said everything right.” He pulled my hand into his and smiled at me. “Thanks for coming here with me.”
I felt my skin flash hot for second. “Thanks for inviting me.”
He just smiled.
As they ate, the guys got to talking about other things than being in love and getting married. But relationships seemed to be the main topic of discussion for the day.
“…taking my time before getting involved again,” Howie was saying. “I never knew how many girls are just in it for the money, for the notoriety of dating someone famous.”
“That’s lesson one, ‘D,” AJ said. “How could you not know that?”
“Because you just think people don’t change,” Nick said. “I mean, we all think we haven’t changed, that we’re normal, so why should people treat us different? But, like it or not, we are different. We’re marked.”
“Marked?” AJ asked confused.
Nick sat up. “Yeah, marked. When girls know you’re famous, they know they can get something out of you. It’s no longer just about who you are, how much you enjoy each other’s company or even the sex.”
Howie shook his head with a grin and AJ chuckled. “Boy, you’re brave saying that in front of your date.”
“I wouldn’t say it if I was including her,” Nick said seriously. “I’m not marked around Becky. I’m normal.”
“Normal? Are you nuts?” AJ laughed. “He’s not normal, Becky. Don’t go around making him feel like he is.”
“What I mean is--.”
“I know what you mean,” AJ said. “I was kidding. But it’s rare to find that. You know that, right?”
I shook my head. “I’m just too shocked to freak out on him yet. Give me a month.”
The guys laughed and Nick kissed my hair.
Everything that happened within those two days was not lost on me. My sister had already called me on neglecting my mother. Nick was making plans for us together, and I was skipping along like it was all out of my control.
But blissfully so.

I was waiting for Nick in his hotel room. He was out running some errands and had promised to meet me to talk about the interview with Galen. It was that afternoon, and he wanted me to be prepared. I was already nervous because so much was riding on the interview. If I got a job in Tampa, things would change forever.
“Hey Becky,” Mike greeted as he entered the suite. “What’s new?”
“Nothing. How are you?”
“I’m good,” he said. “Nick’s out?”
“For a bit,” I said. “He’ll be here soon.”
“Are you guys doing something today?” he asked.
“Just talking. I have a phone interview with the guy at a Tampa newspaper later, so he wants to talk about it.”
“Galen?” Mike asked.
I nodded.
“Aw, he loves Nick. If you want the job, it’s probably yours.”
“Well, that’s not how I’d like to get hired,” I said. “I mean, it’s all going to be up to me.”
“Yeah, yeah. Your talent will get you there, but Galen would do anything for Nick. So he’ll probably give you chance just based on that. The rest will be up to you, though.”
I nodded.
He opened his mouth then closed it as if he didn’t really know what to say.
“What?” I asked. “Everything okay?”
He sighed. “Are you really thinking about taking that job in Tampa? And moving? I mean really?”
“It’s a thought,” I said.
“Yours or Nick’s?”
“Mine. Well, I want to get a better job, but he’s the one with the connections. I don’t really care where I work, but Tampa’s nice. Right?”
He nodded. “Yeah, yeah. Tampa’s great, but Becky, have you thought this through?”
“It’s nothing definite yet. There’s nothing to think through.”
“But if there were. Do you know what you’re getting into?” he asked seriously.
I didn’t know quite what to say. He moved across the room and sat next to me on the couch.
“I’ve known Nick for a long time,” he said. “Since he was a kid. And in all that time, all he’s ever wanted was to be normal. Well, to be famous, and to be normal. Hm, well, not really just famous but to do what he loves and be good at it. So, that makes him famous, but not normal. Do you know what I’m saying?”
I remembered the conversation the guys had at Kevin’s wedding. “Sort of.”
“Well, most girls treat him like he’s a freak. They don’t know what to say, what to do, and you’ve been different. You’ve just been normal, natural with him. And since he already liked you, it only makes him like you more. But that you treat him like he’s normal doesn’t make him normal. He’s still famous. He’s still Nick Carter.”
I nodded.
“And it’s going to be one thing for you to start your life like you’ve wanted. To get a nice place, a nice car, a good job. But quite another to do that and want to be with him. His life is crazy. It’s never really like this. Next month, he’s going to England, and after that, it’s back on the roller coaster. They’re going to record, promote, shoot videos, take pictures, tour all over the place. All over the world.”
“I know.”
“And all this time, you’re going to be in Tampa? Alone?”
And that’s when I heard a rip in the bubble. When the song started to fade.
“And I’m not telling you this because I don’t like you for him or something crazy like that,” he said. “I love that kid. I want him to be happy. And he may very well be happy running around all over the world, and coming home to you on the off weeks, but will you? Will you be okay leaving your home behind for that?”
I bit my lip and looked at the floor. “I don’t know, Mike.”
“That’s right. You don’t know. You’d better think it through. Galen’s a nice guy, but he’s one of those guys who’s proud to be Nick’s friend. He likes to tell people that he and Nick are buddies when Nick just sees him as an acquaintance. The job’s as good as yours. But are you sure about taking it? Is that a good idea for you?”
I pushed my hair out of my face as a strange, uncomfortable feeling washed all over me.
“Hey, but don’t mention all this stuff to Nick, okay? I mean, I just want you to think things through. I think you’re a great girl, and you guys seem very happy. Maybe you could go on tour with him.”
“But why would I go on tour if I’m leaving home to get a better job?” I asked.
“That’s my point,” Mike said. “It might be the only way you’d really see him. Give it some thought, okay? Just before you jump into anything?”
I nodded. “Okay.”
He started for the door then stopped. “I’m not trying to be a jerk. You know that, right?”
“I know,” I said.
“Okay, I’m gonna--.”
“Hey Mike!” Nick greeted opening the door. “Where ya going?”
Mike had jumped, obviously startled. “Don’t freak me out like that, Carter.” He laughed. “I’m gonna be back in sec. Okay?”
“Okay,” Nick said with a shrug. “See you.”
“Bye. Bye, Becky.”
“Bye,” I said trying to pull my thoughts back in order. I didn’t want Nick to know anything was wrong because he’d feel obliged to convince me that Mike was all wrong. And I knew he wasn’t. I’d often had doubts about my relationship with Nick. I knew it was because of everything Mike had said. He’d put into words the things I’d barely allowed myself to think.
“Hey you,” Nick greeted jumping over the couch. “Are you ready for today?”
“Yeah,” I said as brightly as I could. “As ready as I’m gonna be.”
“Great,” he said throwing his arm around me and pulling me closer. “It’s going to be simple. Galen’s a nice guy, and he’s looking for someone who writes stuff like you do.”
“Features?”
“Yeah. Like movie reviews, play reviews and stuff that isn’t about what’s going on day to day. So make sure that you tell him that you’ve already done all that. And make sure to be real up about moving to Florida. He thinks Tampa’s heaven, and just loves to hear about how people are dying to move over there.”
“Okay,” I said. “I can do that.”
“And you can do it better than any one else he’s interviewing. After that, we can fax him some of your articles and see what happens, okay?”
“Okay,” I repeated.
We sat in the silent room for what felt like an hour until Nick chuckled softly.
“This is going to be so cool,” he said. “I like it when things work out. When everything that you want seems simple, easy to get and good for everyone.”
My stomach sank hard, and I realized things were not that simple for me.
“I’d better go,” I said kissing his cheek. “I’m going to call Galen from home.”
“No, stay here,” Nick said. “C’mon.”
“No, Nick. I’d better just do it from home. I’ll be more comfortable if I’m there.”
He frowned, “But why? I wanted you to be here.”
“I’ll just feel better at home. Really. I need to be relaxed.”
“Relaxed? Okay. All right. I don’t want you to be nervous. Fine,” he said and leaned in for a kiss.
I closed my eyes happy not to have to talk anymore, but unsure of the kiss. I was getting too used to it.
“I want you to be perfect,” he said when I pulled away. “That way you’ll get the job, move to Tampa and I can kiss you all the time.”
I stood up and sighed. “Sounds like a plan. I’ll call you when I’m done.”
“Okay,” he said and walked me to the door. “You’d better.”

I must have waited for an hour after talking to Galen. He was nice enough and listened to everything that I said carefully. And I even got him to laugh a couple of times which was always a good sign.
“I’ll be calling you back,” he had said. “Go ahead and fax me your stuff.”
I promised I’d do it that afternoon though the three hour time difference between Tampa and Los Angeles meant he wouldn’t be able to see anything until the next day because it was already so late. That’s what had me pinned to my couch. I had time to think about everything, to consider my options. I could weigh my own insecurities, my intuition and Mike’s words against everything Nick had said and done until now.
And though he was right about me needing to do something with my life, I couldn’t be sure that following him around was just the right thing.
I finally decided to call him.
“Hello?” a strange, male voice answered.
“Nick?” I asked.
“Nah, Frack stepped out to get some food. This is AJ. Becky?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Hi. How are you?”
“I’m good. How are you?”
“Fine. I guess I’ll call back--.”
“No, no stay on the line. Nick’ll be here like real fast. He just ran down to get McDonalds because we don’t want hotel food. Or you don’t want to talk to me?”
I tried to sound casual, but he still made me nervous. “Yeah, sure. I just thought maybe you were busy.”
“No,” he said. “Hey, how’d the interview go? Frack told me you might be the next one to move to Tampa.”
“It went fine,” I said. “I think he liked me.”
“Great. That’s just great because you will love Tampa. And I know that Nick’s all thrilled about having you go up there with him. You guys will have a blast. Have you ever gone to Florida?”
“No. I’m from Texas, and then I moved here.”
“Well, let me tell you, in Florida things are really cool. Nick lives right on the beach, and you should see his new house. It’s just calling for a party, and maybe you moving town is the right excuse. He’s not like Kev, and I know he’s up for a good party, and…,” he stopped. “Are you there?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Why?”
“Suddenly, I sound way more excited about this than you.”
I had to laugh. “I’m excited, AJ. I just --.”
“You’re just quieter than me, huh? So anyway, I think you’d like it. I know Frack’s going to love it, and then when we go to England--.”
“When do you go to England?” I asked.
“July first. We’ll be up there for awhile. Wanna go?”
“No,” I said. “Thanks.”
“Yeah, if you got a new job, it wouldn’t be a good idea for you to start asking for vacation time, huh?”
“Yeah,” I said absently.
“Hey, there’s Nick,” he said. “Hang on. He’s grabbing the phone… Ouch!”
“Hey Becky. How’d it go? Did Galen love you?”
“He loved me,” I said.
“Great. I knew it. Who wouldn’t, huh? Are we faxing the stuff today? It’s kind of late over there.”
I nodded though we were on the phone. “It can wait for tomorrow.”
“I’m gonna pick you up so we can celebrate. Is that okay?”
“Actually, I’m going to go see my mom, Nick. Maybe we shouldn’t celebrate until things are for sure, okay?”
“Okay,” he said. “Want to get together later? We can have dinner.”
“Aren’t you eating now?” I asked.
“This is a snack. Everything all right?”
“Everything’s great,” I said and my throat knotted up, so I swallowed hard. “I’ll call you when I get back. Okay?”
“I can go get you Beck. It’s getting late, and you shouldn’t--.”
“It’s fine,” I said. “Bye Nick.”
“Okay. Bye.”
I was almost out the door when the phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Rebecca, hi. This is Julie Rose from the LA Times. How are you?”
My heart thudded. “I’m great. How are you?”
“I’m fine. I’m glad I caught you at home tonight. I was hoping you’d have a chance to talk.”
“Sure,” I said sinking back into the couch.
“Well, I was reading over your articles, and I have to say that you’re very talented. I’m impressed.”
“Thanks,” I said hoping she’d just get to the point. I knew from experience that people always said something good before saying something bad.
“I think your writing style is fresh and young yet still very serious and almost traditional. It makes for enjoyable reading.”
I just waited for her to continue.
“So, how’d you like a staff job?”
My breath escaped me, and I fought to sound in control. “I’d love a staff job, Ms. Rose--.”
“Call me Julie. Listen, I know you were considering other options, but I’d like a definite answer by Monday. That’s manageable, right?”
“Of course,” I said faking extreme confidence. “I will be in touch with you by then. And thank you.”
“Thank you Rebecca. I hope you decide to come aboard. I think you’d like working with us.”
“I think I’d like it too,” I said. “Thanks again.”
“Sure. Good night.”
“Good night.”
I hung up the phone and chewed on my lip. I should have been jumping up and down. I should have been calling Nick to tell him the good news. For years, I dreamed of having the opportunity to better my life, and now that I had it, why did I feel so crappy? Why didn’t I want to dance?
I just wanted to cry.

After another round of blame with Sandra, I didn’t have the heart to sit with my mother. I ended up getting back to Nick’s hotel and sitting in the lobby. I had too many things to think about before facing him again.
It was very near midnight, and I was stuck to the seat in the lobby like an abandoned blind date.
“Hey, are you lost?”
I looked up to find AJ in front of me.
“Hey. No, I’m just here,” I said.
“Hm, I see that. But Frack’s upstairs like waiting for your call.”
I nodded.
He didn’t move away from me. He just stood there waiting for me to move, to talk, to do something. And I just wanted to sit still and let everything resolve itself.
“Ah, Rebecca. Everything okay?”
I pulled my gaze away from his shoes and looked up at him. He looked worried.
“Yeah. Everything’s okay. Were you going out?”
“Nah,” he said with a shrug. “I told you, Frack’s waiting for you. He thought you were gonna call him. You sure nothing’s wrong.”
Why didn’t Backstreet Boys ever leave well-enough alone?
“AJ,” I said. “I don’t know what to do.”
“What? About what?” he asked plopping on the table in front of me. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t know what to do. I just don’t know,” was all I could say.
“Hey. Hey, you’re not making sense. Explain this to me because I don’t understand. Did something happen with Nick? You guys fight?”
“No. Of course not. He’s great, but I’m confused. I don’t know what to do. I have a job offer that keeps me here. I could work at the Times, make decent money and stay here. Close to my mom. Around the people I already know. But I know I have a good chance of getting that job in Tampa and to be with Nick. And I don’t know what I did, who I paid off, or what happened to bring him into my life, but he’s here. He’s here, AJ, and he’s perfect. He’s the guy any girl would want, whether he’s famous or just some guy, you know?”
He nodded.
I rubbed my forehead because I wasn’t even sure that I was making sense. “And I would jump at the chance to be with him, anyone would. Anyone would leave whatever behind to be with him, to take a chance, but--.”
“You’re not anyone,” AJ said. “Right?”
I nodded.
“Oh girl. Oh Becky, you don’t know how much it pains me to hear you say that. Frack’s my buddy, and he’s so happy right now.”
“I’m sorry,” I said immediately. “I don’t want to hurt him but--.”
“Whoa, hey, don’t apologize to me. I understand what you’re saying, where you’re coming from. And I think you should do what makes you happy. You can’t up and leave California if you’re not ready. Nick will understand that.”
“But he’s tried so hard,” I said. “He’s said and done things that the guys I know haven’t even tried. He’s been there for me. He helped me look for a job, and he’s just been so patient. So incredible, that I’d have to be so stupid to through this away. I can’t throw this away.”
AJ nodded straightening up. “Okay. Okay, let’s say you don’t throw this away. Let’s think worse case scenario. What’s the worse thing that could happen?”
“My mom could get really sick while I’m in Tampa, and I can’t get back here to see her in time.”
“That would be bad. But she could get sick while you’re here. What’s the worst thing that could happen with Nick?”
I remembered my talk with Mike. “He could be so busy that I never see him. He could be out of town all the time, and I’m trying to figure out what I’m doing in a strange new place without him. I would probably be angry at him for making me move and then leaving me behind.”
“That could happen, you know?” he said. “It’s very possible. The reason relationships have worked out for us is that sometimes, the girls can travel with us. Kristin’s a dancer, and Leigh Anne’s an actress. Their schedules allow them to take off long periods of time. If you have a nine to five that can’t happen. You know that, right?”
“I know,” I said. “The only business I have in Tampa is Nick.”
I rubbed my temples and pushed my hair out of my face. AJ sighed loudly.
“Hey, okay. Listen, it’s okay. The only thing you have to do is decide what’s best for you. Not for Nick. For you. As much as I want to see him happy, he’s making you miserable. What is it that you want to do?”
And that was the question I couldn’t answer. It filled my head with so many notions that I thought I was going to explode.
“Oh Becky, you’re taking too long to answer here,” he said softly. “You don’t know, do you?”
I just shook my head.
“It’s okay,” he said. “Be honest then. If you came here to talk to Nick, get up there and be honest. Just tell him everything that you’ve told me. He’s a good guy, and he’s not going to ask you to be miserable in Tampa.”
“I’m going to be miserable either way,” I said.
“That’s a big possibility. But hey, maybe you guys could try the long-distance romance thing. I mean, it would be long-distance if you lived in Tampa anyway. This would be extra, extra long-distance.”
I almost laughed. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. But what are the odds? I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t like that idea. He wants someone at home.”
“He wants someone who loves him, and if that’s you, he’s going to have to be content wherever you are. That void can’t be filled by someone who just lives in Tampa. There must be more requirements than that.” He patted my shoulder. “All right?”
“Yeah, okay. All right.”
He pushed my hair of my shoulder. “Get it together, girl. Go over there and be honest. It’s all you can do.”
“Thanks AJ.”
“No thanks needed. Good luck,” he said and slid off the table.
“Thanks,” I called after him, but he was gone.
I took that stairs because it would give me more time to think. I knew that no one else could make the choice from me. If I went along with whatever Nick said, I’d resent him later if things went wrong. If I took the job in town and never explained thing to him, I’d feel guilty. He’d been so amazing. In the end, it was all up to me, and I didn’t know what to do. Even when I reached his floor I didn’t know what to do. I was just out of breath.
“Hey!”
I looked up to find Nick rushing out of his room.
“There you are. What took you so long? I was coming down to find you.”
“Yeah?” I asked catching my breath. “How’d you know I was here?”
He smirked. “AJ called.”
Oh no.
“What?”
“Yeah,” he said with a shrug. “He’s the one Backstreet Boy who can never, ever keep a secret. Didn’t you know that? Even I don’t tell him stuff that I don’t want to get around.”
I stopped a few feet away from him because I immediately felt guilty for not telling him myself.
“He was worried,” Nick said with a chuckle. “That’s why he called. He wanted to make sure you didn’t run off without talking to me. What’s going on?”
“Didn’t he tell you?”
“I want you to tell me.”
“Oh Nick,” I began and shook my head because it was going to be very hard.
I heard him sigh. “C’mon,” he said putting his hand out to me. “Let’s get inside so we can talk. You need to get all this out in the open now before you just explode, Rebecca. You shouldn’t hold things in like that.”
I took his hand and followed him inside. It was surprising that he call me Rebecca.
“Sit down,” he said steering me toward the couch. “Want some water? A soda? A drink?”
“No thanks,” I said.
He grabbed his McDonald’s cup and sank down next to me. He shifted his body so that he was facing me. There was going to be nowhere to hide.
“What’s going on?” he asked. “I know you can tell me, right?”
It took awhile. It took me a little while to convince myself that this was it. Telling him was the right thing to do.
“I don’t think I can move to Tampa,” I blurted. “It’s not really a good idea for me. I’m sorry. I feel really bad for letting you believe that it was. For getting you to talk to Galen and for helping me. You shouldn’t have because I guess I wasn’t honest with you. I don’t think I can leave here, not now.”
He was nodding watching me with this serious yet serene look on his face. I guess AJ’s warning had him prepared.
“I didn’t mean to lead you on, Nick. You have to believe that. I think that meeting you was just so awesome. When we hung out in January, everything was perfect. I never dreamed I’d even see you again. That you’d be back in my life, and that we’d get involved. That was way, way more than I ever expected. You know that.”
He nodded and closed his eyes for a second.
I looked at the pattern of the couch between us. “And I just like you so much. That I made myself get over that, over the fact you are who you are. I made myself believe that it was all okay because that’s what you kept telling me. But inside, I don’t think that I really believed it. I still had doubts.”
“About me?” I heard him ask.
“About you. About my place in your world. About your place in mine.”
I looked up at him, and he shook his head like there as a fly in hair.
“You have a place in my world. I thought I made that very clear,” he said in an almost angry tone that I’d never heard before.
“You did, Nick. But that’s right now, when you’re on a break. What about when you’re working? What are things going to be like then?”
He sat up. “Why does that matter now?”
“Because I have make a choice that’s going to take me away from my family. And what I do now has a lot to do with what I will be able to do in the future,” I said.
He shook his head again. “I thought things were different. I thought you were different. I thought you weren’t going to throw all of that in my face.”
“I’m not throwing--.”
“Yes you are,” he said sharply. “I can’t help who I am and what I do. It’s how I am. I thought you accepted it like I accepted that you’re a writer.”
“It’s not that simple,” I said.
“It is for me.”
I didn’t want to make things worse, but I couldn’t leave them as they were.
“Nick, this isn’t about you as much as it is about me. I accept who you are, and I’m glad that you’re happy. You’re such an amazing person that you deserve all that happiness and even more. It’s just something I can’t be a part of. Not right now.”
He just nodded and looked down at his hands.
“I’m sorry,” I said, but it came out really low, so I had to say it again. “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you all this sooner. Things have happened so fast that I haven’t had a chance to think. My mom getting sick, the LA Times, my interview with Galen and the thought of going to Tampa, make me feel like I got on some crazy ride that never stops.” I shrugged. “I guess I’m making it stop.”
He opened his mouth then closed it. He looked up at me, then he looked away. Then he just shook his head again like he was trying to make the pieces fit into his brain.
“I’d better go,” I told him standing up. “Take care.”
“Yeah,” he said. “You too.”
“Thanks.”
I hurried out the door and toward the elevator. My heart was pounding in my ears, and all I wanted to do was cry. I gripped the handle and willed the tears back inside myself as the elevator made its way down to the lobby. All of this was for the best, and there was no reason to cry. Monday, I’d call the Times, and I could begin that life I wanted. I could shop for a nice apartment, look for a car. Maybe if I moved closer to Sandra, I could spend more time with Mom.
But I’d do it all without Nick.
The elevator dinged, and the doors opened before me. The lobby was hushed as it was already well-past midnight.
Shit. There would be no more buses to take me home. I’d have to take a cab, and it was going to cost me plenty. One more sorry thing that happened to me.
I started slowly down the street because there were no taxis right outside the hotel. I’d either have to call one or wave one down. Though Nick’s hotel was pretty fancy, the streets that surrounded it weren’t the safest in LA.
This was the longest day of my life.
“Becky?”
I turned slowly to find Mike a few feet behind me.
“Nick wanted me to give you a ride home. Is that okay?”
But he hadn’t come down himself. He was that mad at me.
“I’d appreciate that,” I said. “Thanks.”
We hurried to the truck, and Mike opened the door for me.
“Are you all right?”
“Fine,” I said.
“Okay,” he said softly. “Let’s go.”
I cried the whole way home, and Mike didn’t say a word. Though I had initially fought the tears, the just came out. Slowly at first one at a time. And I turned my face away from Mike as I wiped them away, so that he couldn’t see. Then they just seemed to explode and hiding them wasn’t even a possibility anymore. It wasn’t long before my cheeks itched, and I was sure my eyes were the size of slits. I was sniffling, wiping my nose, and just a general mess.
“Becky,” Mike began as he stopped the truck in front of my house. “Listen, don’t--.”
I didn’t want to hear it anymore. I just wanted everything to go away. “I’d better go, Mike. Thanks.”
“But Becky, listen. It’s for the better for you guys. You know that, right?”
I was already climbing off. “I know that.”
“Nick does too,” I heard him call just as I closed the door.

Two weeks later, I wasted no time making myself at home at my new job. It was the only thing that was making me happy. I got a small, three-walled cubicle to call my own. The first things to go up were the pictures of my nieces and the one good, recent picture of my mother and me. The day that I graduated from college, Sandra snapped a picture of me wearing my cap and gown, and my mom actually looking like she was smiling. The next thing to come out of the box was my calendar. My Backstreet Boys calendar.
“Oh Brian,” I sighed to myself and almost laughed. The good thing was that no one was around because they would have thought I was crazy. His smile remained the same, but everything else just seemed so different. I missed Nick every minute of the day sometimes. When my mother was having an especially difficult time, I wanted to call him and tell him all about it because he always made me feel better. I expected his truck to pull up in front of my house on a Sunday afternoon or for him to call late at night just to make sure that I was okay. But he didn’t. July the first came and went, and he was nowhere.
I guess it had been a strange dream come true then disappeared.
“So this is the Times,” Roger said.
He’d come with me the day before I actually started work to check things out. We both knew that once things got busy for me, I wouldn’t have time for anything.
“Yeah. Cool, huh?”
He shrugged. “It’s nice.”
“C’mon, don’t act like you’re not impressed. You know you are. When are you going to quit being small potatoes yourself? You’re a better writer than me.”
He shrugged, then he laughed. “When I get a good break like you and find someone who…” He stopped and gave me a look. “Sorry.”
“Nick didn’t get me this job. I had an offer for it before, remember?”
He nodded. “Yeah, okay. Sorry.”
I just shook my head.
“Rebecca, these came for you.”
I looked up to find the office secretary holding out a bouquet of fresh daisies.
“Me?” I asked confused. “Who would send me flowers?”
“Well, we know who you want it to be,” Roger said smugly.
“You know, you’ve really been such a jerk lately, that I don’t know why I hang out with you,” I said setting the small vase on the desk and pulling out the card.
“I’m your only friend?” he asked.
“With friends like you, Roge….” I left the rest of sentence up to him because I had found the card stuck between two stems.
It was from Nick.
Becky,
Hope these brighten up your desk. I wanted to wish you luck, but you don’t need it. Your talent will take you all the way.
Wishing you the best always,
Nick
I had to laugh and was about to hand the card to Roger when the secretary entered the room again.
“And these came now, too.”
More flowers.
“Oh boy,” Roger said rolling his eyes.
I was suddenly too giddy to deal with him.
Once again it was as simple arrangement of fresh daisies, nothing else. His writing was noticeably smaller on the card.
Becky,
I ran out of space on the other card, but I wanted to ask you something. Will you meet me at the Random Club on July 15? I’ll be back from England for a bit, and I was hoping we could talk.
Take care,
Nick.
“What does he want now?” Roger asked tiredly. “To come crawling back?”
“No, he wants to meet at some club. Have you ever heard of --.”
“One more, Rebecca. I swear, you should go hang out in the reception area,” the secretary said handing me yet another bouquet just as pretty as the other two.
“Thanks,” I told her pulling out the card.
Becky,
Last one. I promise. I just wanted you to know that if you don’t show up at the club, I won’t hold it against you. The way things have been with us, we’ll get together when the time is right.
Hope to see you soon!
Love,
Nick
“I’m going back to work,” Roger said pulling himself out of my chair. “I’ll let you gloat among your daises.”
“You’re jealous,” I told him setting the third arrangement in the middle of my desk.
“Right,” he said. “That’s exactly it.”
I sat down and admired my pretty flowers. Once again, Nick had brought a surprising happiness into my life. More than anything, I was glad that he wasn’t angry at me. No, more than anything I was glad he sent me the flowers.
I glanced at the calendar to find that July 15 was a Saturday, then Brian’s smiling face re-appeared when I flipped back to June, and I laughed pretty hard. All to myself.

Club Random is a retro club in downtown LA. I had never been there before, so I didn’t know what to expect.
I had driven my new black Mustang, blasting Millennium the whole way. I got strange looks from the older people in the parking lot as I pulled in with the Larger than Life spilling out of the car. That was okay, I was used to it.
I had bought a short black skirt, a sleeveless red shirt and new extremely high-heeled Mary Janes. Stupidly, I’d let the girl at the mall dress me since I didn’t know any better. I even curled my hair, and now had no idea how to control it. When I saw the other girls inside the club, I didn’t feel so bad. Many of them looked like prostitutes, and at least, I just looked lost.
There actually wasn’t much of a crowd. I guess other types of music were popular, so people were somewhere else. That was just as well.
I pulled up to the bar and ordered some water.
“Sure,” the bartender said with a smile. “It’ll be right up. With lime?”
“Yeah thanks,” I said settling on the high stool.
The old eighties songs reverberated through the speakers and seemed to go right through me.
“Here you go.”
“Thanks,” I turned to put a dollar tip on the bar. When I went to take a sip of my drink, I found a long-stemmed daisy sticking out of it.
‘Okay,’ I thought pulling it out. ‘Where is he?’
The bartender chuckled. “Here’s your water,” he said placing a fresh glass in front of me.
“Thanks, but--.”
He shrugged. “I can’t really tell you anything. Sorry.”
I looked around and just saw lights, older-looking people and waitresses.
The Cure’s Just Like Heaven was ending and remixing into a faster beat with a high-pitched whistle.
“Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Club Random, the best retro club in LA,” the deep-voiced DJ announced. “Tonight is seventies Saturday, and we will be playing the your favorite disco tunes, like this one.”
“Gotta make a move to a town that’s right for me… town to keep me moving, keep me grooving with some energy…Well, let’s talk about it, talk about it, talk about it. Talk about, talk about, talk about moving…Gotta move on…”
I couldn’t find him in the darkened club, and I started sliding off the stool when someone touched my arm.
“More water?”
“No thanks,” I said expecting to find the bartender behind me, but it was Nick. I started laughing.
He started dancing. “Won’t you take me to funky town? Won’t you take me to funky town?” He shook his entire body to disco beat, then he just laughed. “Hi Becky.”
“Hi Nick,” I said. “Thanks for the flowers.”
“Sure,” he said. “You’re welcome. Hang on.”
He stopped to say something to the bartender. They laughed, then Nick made his way around the bar and back to me.
“Surprise,” he said.
“I’m surprised. Thank you.”
“Stop saying thank you,” he said shaking his head. “I just wanted to see you. Really, I didn’t think you’d come.”
“Why?”
He shrugged. “I wasn’t exactly understanding last time that we talked. You don’t hate me, do you?”
“No. Who could ever hate you?”
“That’s true,” he said with a little grin. “I’ve missed you, though.”
I reached out for his hand. “I’ve missed you too. Every day.”
He interlaced his fingers with mine. “How’s your mom?”
“The same,” I said.
“Well, in this case, no news is good news, right?”
“Right.”
I couldn’t stand away from him anymore, so I hugged his middle, and he hugged me back, tightly happily.
“I’ve been such an ass,” he said once we’d taken some chairs in a table upstairs. “I’m sorry. When you came to talk to me, I got mad because things didn’t work out the way I wanted them to.”
“I should have been more honest,” I said.
He half laughed. “You were honest. At every turn, you told me that you weren’t sure. That you were worried about everything else. I just didn’t want to listen. I just wanted to do what made me happy. I do that sometimes, you know? I get used to things working out for me, and I forget that sometimes it’s not all in my control. I just want to rush everything and make things okay. I want life to be perfect, as perfect as I can make it.”
I nodded and pushed an unruly strand of hair behind my ear.
“But things aren’t like that for everyone. They aren’t like that for you, even as badly as I wanted them to be,” he continued. “I was just in denial because I wanted you to live in Tampa, for us to be happy, and for things to be happy. Maybe I got love fever from Kev’s wedding.”
I laughed, and the same strand of hair popped back in my face.
Nick wrinkled his nose at me and pushed it away for me.
“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?” he asked. “You look amazing, Becky. Wow.”
“Thanks,” I laughed. “I feel kind of silly.”
“No, no,” he said. “You look great. Truly great.”
“So do you,” I told him. “And all this wasn’t just your fault. I should have been straight with you from the beginning. I should have decided what I wanted and stuck to it instead of leading you on. I knew very well what my life was like.”
He leaned his elbow on the table and his chin in his palm. “Your life is great. You’re starting a new job, and hey, did you buy your car?”
“Yeah. It’s a black Mustang. We can go look at it if you want.”
“A ‘stang? Cool. Yeah, I want to see it. Heck, I want to drive it, okay?”
“Sure. Are you going to be here for awhile?”
He shook his head. “A couple of days. Aaron has a big show, and I wanted to be here. Well, I didn’t want to be here for him as much as for the chance to see you.”
I knew right then that my skin turned bright pink. “Why, Nick? What happened? Why did you change your mind?”
He straightened up a little and sighed. “Well. Well, Becky, I really like you. I like you a lot, and I was bummed when things didn’t work out. So, I did what I always do when I’m bummed.”
“What’s that?”
“I went to find Kev. I talked to him and got his ideas, his advice,” he said with a shrug.
“Kevin told you to come back.”
“Uh-uh. He never tells me what to do straight out. He talks to me until I see what I need to do. Want me to tell you how?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“I said, ‘Kev, I’m really bummed because this girl can’t be with me.’ He said, ‘Baby.’ Because he calls me baby when I’m bummed, you know? That’s what he calls everyone when they’re bummed no matter how old they are,” Nick said with a smile, then he cleared his throat. “Kev said, ‘Baby, do you really like this girl?’ I said, ‘Yeah.’ He said, ‘A lot?’ I said, ‘Yeah.’ Then he asked, ‘A lot, a lot?’ And I said, ‘Yeah.’ And the conversation continued like that for awhile.”
I laughed.
“Then Kev asked me, ‘Do you like her enough to make one extra plane trip from Tampa to Los Angeles? Because that’s all that you’re going to need to do. You’ll make one or two more connections, and then you can see her. Can you do that?’ I said, ‘Yeah.’ He told me that his last questions would make me be sure.”
“What was the question?”
“’Do you like her more than you hate flying?’ That was it. That was the only thing that I had to decide. And I know I like you way more than I hate flying. I can deal with flying now, I mean, if I have to,” he said then smiled up at me. “So, that’s why I’m here.”
I think I melted and froze at the same time because I couldn’t believe what was happening. That he had come back.
“I’m glad you’re here,” I finally managed to say. “I missed you every single day, and I sat and talked to my mother about you when I could. I just never stopped thinking about you. I couldn’t.”
He smiled. “Me either. That’s why I’m here.”
“That and Kevin?” I asked with a laugh.
“Yeah, that and Kev. I’m gonna get him something good for helping me.”
“How about some chocolate cake?”
“He doesn’t eat sweets,” Nick said shaking his head. “He’s too buff. How about--?”
He stopped as a familiar song boomed through the speakers.
“I’m your boogie man. I’m your boogie man. Turn me on. I’m your boogie man. I’m your boogie man. Do what you want.”
“C’mon. We have to dance,” he said sliding off the stool and pulling me along.
That song sure lasted for a long time.