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Help me.

What was up with that?

Nick couldn’t figure it out.  Was Jordana asking for his help with her problem?  What did she expect, that Pete and Nick would take turns sitting up with her, not allowing her to throw up, feeding her…Nick didn’t know what, but he had an image of baby food… spooning it into her mouth…

Except that, Jo didn’t seem to want Pete to know what she was doing… 

Now that Nick thought about it, it had all been very secretive, like a code.  Nick was supposed to get it, but Pete wasn’t.  Jo had done that fancy footwork thing with ‘your first single’.

A scorching ballad.  You wrote it.

Nick thought about that for a moment.  Yeah, it was scorching and yeah, he wrote it.  Or at least helped write it.  It didn’t matter…it was one of the proudest moments of his life.  The whole album was…he couldn’t seem to get that across to people…that he didn’t care about sales and merchandise…he only cared about the product, and he was more than pleased with the product…

Help me.

Okay, if you could just get over yourself for a moment, Carter, maybe you could focus on someone else.  What the hell did she mean?

Was she afraid of Pete?  I mean, ‘help me’ meant that she needed help, right?  

Oh, really, Professor Nick, do you really think so?

Nick pressed his fingers to his forehead.  Okay, let’s review.

Jordana has an eating disorder which is causing her to throw up and not eat. 

That much Nick could attest to because he’d seen it in action.  And even in the two days he hadn’t seen her, Jo had become thinner and more…Nick searched for the word…transparent, he decided on finally.  Yes, she was transparent.  He could almost see through her.

Why does she need your help then?

Nick thought back over the conversations he’d had with her and Pete.  Pete had been solicitous from the beginning, encouraging her to eat and treating her gently.  The only time he’d seemed upset had been when he was telling Nick about it.  And even then, he hadn’t seemed angry…only concerned.

Maybe that was it.  Maybe Pete’s concern was getting in the way of Jo’s craziness.  If she wanted to harm herself…vomit herself to death…maybe she couldn’t do that if Pete was looking after her.

I need to get off this boat.

That’s what she’d said. 

Help me.  I need to get off this boat.

And what did that make Nick then?  A co-conspirator?  What was he supposed to do to help her?  Throw her overboard?

Nick got his guitar out of the case and sat on the back deck, strumming softly.  He played with the tune for his ‘I’m Cool’ song, and then he played a bit of Climbing the Walls.  And then he played Help Me.

He shook his head and lifted his fingers from the strings.  He didn’t want the song in his head.  He didn’t want Jordana in his head.  He hated thinking about things that he didn’t know the answer to, and he sure as hell didn’t know the answer to this one.

He played a bit of Do I Have To… and then stopped.  He stared into space and turned the thoughts over in his head.

Maybe he should go back over there…to the Sunset Voyager.  Maybe he should talk to Pete and Jo together.  Maybe he should just tell Jo that he knew about her illness and ask her what she meant by her message.

And maybe he should just mind his own freakin’ business!  Jo obviously had tried to keep something hidden from Pete.  She went to a lot of trouble to get the message across to Nick.  She sure wouldn’t want him busting in and blurting it out.

But if she needed help…why not just say so?

Mickey’s not coming.

Nick paused.  Yeah, that had been kind of odd, too…the way Jo just threw that into the conversation.  Did that have something to do with it?  Was Jo afraid that Pete would put the moves on her if Mickey wasn’t there?  Nick didn’t think Pete would do that.  He was practically engaged to Mickey, although Jo didn’t seem to know that.

Nick went below and put his guitar away.  He got himself a beer and came back up on deck.  He climbed quietly to the top deck and sat in his captain’s chair.  He looked out over the marina.  The sun was setting, and it was very quiet.  Nick could see the Sunset Voyager.  No one was on deck.

Nick sipped his beer thoughtfully.  Maybe when it got dark, he’d take a little walk over there.  Just to see…

Just to see what? 

Nick shook his head at himself.  If Jo was in real trouble, she could start screaming.  There were closer boats than his.  It was very quiet at the marina, and everyone would hear her. 

Nick still hadn’t decided whether Pete was relieved to see him today or put out about it.  Having Nick skulk around his boat in the dead of night wouldn’t be very welcome at any time but especially not if Pete was trying to avoid him.

Nick would need a good excuse, and he didn’t have one.  He’d already taken out the garbage.

“This is stupid,” said Nick to himself.  “What do I think I’m doing?” 

He finished the beer and went below.  He played video games for awhile, but his head wasn’t into it.  Finally, he turned off all the lights and crawled into bed.  He lay there listening to the sounds of the night…the lapping water, insects, the occasional hum of a distant car…

Nick drifted off to sleep.  He slept soundly for a couple of hours and then came wide awake.  What had wakened him?  He hadn’t had another nightmare.  He was just suddenly awake. 

He climbed out of bed and padded silently into the living room, his ears straining to hear.  But there was nothing…just the muffled silence of darkest night.  Nick crept silently up the stairs to the deck.  He looked around but could see nothing out of the ordinary.  The security lights bathed the marina in a bluish haze.  Nothing was moving.

That’s because everyone but you is asleep, you big dork, Nick told himself.  Go back to bed.

He shivered in the damp night air.  He rubbed his arms as he looked around him.  Nothing.  He saw nothing.

Because there’s nothing to see, Dummy.  Go back to bed!

Nick turned and went below.  He got back into bed and tried to sleep.  But sleep wouldn’t come.  He tossed and turned, and after an hour, he got up.  He pulled on sweatpants and a hooded sweatshirt.  He went into the kitchen and opened the fridge.  He pulled out a bottle of water.  He didn’t want beer, and he wasn’t going to make coffee at this time of night.  Maybe he needed some of that herbal tea Jo was living on.

Jo.

Help me.

Aw shit!

Nick went to the bedroom and grabbed the duvet off the bed.  He climbed up to the upper deck and sat in the captain’s chair.  He wrapped the duvet around himself, snuggling down into it.  He stared over at the Sunset Voyager.  There were no lights and no movement, just as there were none on any of the other boats docked at the marina.

Everyone’s asleep, Nick thought. 

Yeah, everyone but you.  What are you… the Watchdog of Justice?  The Guardian of the Insane?  You are a complete idiot.  You should be in bed.

Nick took a sip of his water and decided that he’d just sit there for a few minutes…just until he finished the water.  Then he was going back to bed.

But he didn’t.

He sat there all night…alone in the stillness and silence.  He stared at the Sunset Voyager, willing the answers to appear before him, wanting the mystery solved.

He thought back over all the conversations he’d had with Pete and Jo.  Nick couldn’t remember one word that sounded like Jo needed help.  He came to the conclusion that maybe he’d been completely wrong.  Maybe Jo really didn’t know what the first single was.  Maybe it was all a coincidence, and he was the biggest damn fool on the planet for spending the night cramped in a chair instead of in his nice, comfortable bed.

Except that she knew that he’d written Do I Have To…  Surely, if she knew that, she’d know about Help Me.

Nick tossed the thoughts back and forth and had just decided that he’d made a fool of himself and that he should get below before anyone saw him when he heard the sound of an engine starting.  He sat up and looked around the marina.

It was the Sunset Voyager, slipping quietly away from the dock.  Quietly and darkly.  There were no running lights on…no lights at all.

Nick slipped from his chair and crouched on the deck.  He poked his head up cautiously peering into the darkness.

He could see Pete at the helm of the boat.  He was steering it out into the channel.  Didn’t he realize how dangerous that was?  Nick recalled how tricky it had been to get the boat into the marina during daylight…with help from experts onshore.  But in the dark?  By himself?  It was foolhardy.

Nick couldn’t see Jo.  Why wasn’t she there to help Pete?  He could use an extra set of eyes.   Maybe Jo was still asleep.  Maybe she didn’t even know they were leaving.

Nick tried to think back.  Had Pete mentioned getting underway early?  Nick didn’t think so.  And why not turn on the lights?  It was almost as if Pete was running away…trying to get out of town without being seen.

Seen by whom?

Nick knew it had to be him.