The guys are always saying that you’re a little boring, and that you never do anything spontaneous, but that’s about to change. It’s your birthday, and you’re in a very good mood since your friends surprised you. While you don’t want to seal your fate by getting champagne all over your wife’s expensive couches, you still want to get this party started and that means, getting rid of the game system.
Nick and Brian are so engrossed in their game they don’t see you walk into the room. “Hey guys, let’s go roast the marshmallows now, or watch a movie or something,” you say, deciding to live up to your nice-guy reputation and give them one last chance.
“Yeah, yeah, ok,” is the only response you get from either of them.
That does it. In one fail swoop you snatch up the x-box yanking the cords from the TV and you head straight for the back door before Nick and Brian even realize what just happened. Without hesitation, you hurl the system over the back railing and down the side of the mountain behind it.
AJ and Kevin are every bit as shocked as Nick and Brian, but they burst into laughter while Nick and Brian shout curses and scramble to their feet. “What the hell, Howie?” Nick wines as he follows you outside.
“I’ll buy you a new one tomorrow, but I’m not spending the one night we all have together watching you and Brian play video games.” You laugh. “You needed to upgrade to the 360 anyway.
Nick is fuming, but you’re not worried. You know he’ll get over it, and Brian seems to know exactly how to make him feel better. “Howard Dorough,” he asks, cocking his eyebrow dangerously, “when’s the last time you had birthday spankings?”
“Whoa Rok,” AJ laughs as Brian and Nick eye you dangerously. “I never figured you be the one of us to come out of the closet.”
“It’s time for a birthday beating!” Nick agrees whole-heartedly. “Get him!”
AJ and Kevin may have been innocent bystanders in this brilliant plan of yours, but they aren’t about to miss out on the fun. Kevin sees you eye the door to the house and happily closes it so that you have less of a chance at getting past them to safety, and suddenly it’s four on one.
They wrestle you to the ground in a matter of seconds, and give you the appropriate amount of Charlie horses – suddenly you think 35 is too old. Then, after they’ve thoroughly dumped you in the hot tub, they decide roasting marshmallows sounds like a good plan after all.
You forgive the beating only to find that the back door is locked. You think for a moment but you quickly realize that you are now locked out and there is no way off the secluded deck that hangs over the side of the mountain you live on. You try to jimmy the door open, but with everyone in their swimwear, there’s not a credit card among you. There’s not a cell phone either, so since you are not about to have your wife kill you for breaking the large picture window in the family room in order to get inside, you are now stuck with two options.
Brave the night, with your buddies on the back porch until your wife returns in the morning, or try to climb over the back railing and make your way barefoot down the side of the mountain to the nearest phone.
If you’re brave enough to venture a night hike in nothing but your trunks, skip to chapter 10.
If singing Cumbyiah around the fire pit till morning sounds like a better idea, skip to chapter 8.
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Skin created by Kali & edited by Karen.