~~AJ~~
“Good to hear from you since you were supposed to call me last night when you got in. I’ve been worried all day.”Caroline said sighing. I was supposed to call her when I got in, but I got a little too drunk on the flight and I couldn’t let her know that. She’d be able to tell from my slurred words. The music playing behind me was so loud I could barely hear her. I was playing in a smaller venue so to get away from the noise of them setting up I’d have to go outside and I couldn’t do that because all of the people waiting to get in. I was stuck.
“Sorry babe. I went straight to do an interview and a TV interview after that…”I said trying to play it off.
“It’s okay…how’s London?”she asked yawning. I must have woken her up from a nap.
“Rainy and cold. It really sucks…wish I was beside you looking out at the nice sunny beach.”I said and she laughed lightly.
“It’s raining here too babe.”she said and I smiled. At least I wasn’t the only one experiencing this shitty day.
“What are you gonna do today?”I asked walking towards my dressing room in the back of the venue.
“Ehhhh I was thinking about going through all your Backstreet Boys stuff here and watching the old concerts…it will take me back to my teen years.”she said laughing. “Maybe like the Disney concert…I got nothing better to do.”
“Maybe you should update it a little bit. It’d be nice if you knew some of our new stuff.”I said pulling out my bottle of Jack Daniels from the refrigerator pouring myself a double shot…I know…I know…I needed it before the stage to loosen up. I say that a lot don’t I. I pulled the phone away from my mouth as I downed the shot and wiped my mouth. She was still talking about something I didn’t hear a word she said.
“AJ?...Are you listening?”she said. I knew she would catch on. God she was good at that.
“Of course I’m listening…but listen I gotta go my show starts soon and I need to warm up. I’ll call you later okay. I miss you.”I said pouring another shot.
“I miss you too good luck!”she said sighing. I closed the phone and looked down at the shot. Was I really going to do this to myself again? I knew I had no control over it. I had already started the beast up again. There was nothing stopping me from it, not across seas. No matter how much I didn’t want to do it, for her, not even for myself, but for her I couldn’t stop it. It had begun again.
~~CAROLINE~~
AJ has a whole closet dedicated to all of his Backstreet Boys stuff, ever since I moved in, I always wanted to look through it. It’s not that he didn’t want me to look at it, I just felt it would be awkward to do it with him. I figured now would be a good time. As I searched through all the old magazines and picture albums I stumbled across a black notebook marked Rehab and pulled it out. I know I shouldn’t be reading it, but how was he ever going to know. I scrambled through the pages and stopped on a random one:
Day 27:
I can’t believe I actually put myself through this. I’m really proud of everything I’ve accomplished over these past few weeks. I can’t wait to tell my mom and Sarah about everything they will be so proud. Sarah especially…as I’ve wrote before I’m really ashamed of myself for getting her into everything that I did, making her try the coke with me that night is that worst thing I’ve ever done in my life. I just hope she’s okay back at home and nothing screws up the wedding.
Wait AJ was getting married to some girl named Sarah? I know this is like six years old, but gosh. I shouldn’t be reading this I thought as I closed the book back and leaned back against the closet sighing. I actually felt a little bad about going through his private stuff.
~~AJ~~
WHEW! First show over and done with! The fans were really receptive even though I was drunk off my ass. I guess they couldn’t tell, or maybe they could, and I just couldn’t tell they knew it. It was probably that way.
“What’s up man?”I said walking into my dressing room. One of my good friends from over here in London had come to the show and was waiting for me in the back room. When I say good friend, I mean he use to be my drug dealer, that’s who all my old friends are.
“Nothing much man how’s things?”he asked giving me the guy hand shake. He pulled out a bag of white powder and set it down on the table.
“What’s that for?”I asked staring at him in shock.
“Just a little present for my boy since I haven’t seen you in so long.”he said pushing the bag my way.
“There’s a reason you haven’t seen me.”I said pushing the bag back to him.
“Okay man whatever don’t take it.”he said standing up.
“I just can’t man. I got a girl back home and if she found out…man I’d be up shit creek.”I said pulling off my shirt to replace it with a new one.
“It’s all cool man…listen we’re gonna head to one of the bars later on if you wanna go.”he said handing me a piece of paper with his number on it.
“I’ll give you a call.”I said and he waved as he walked out the door. I looked back at the bag on the table. He had left it there on purpose and I hadn’t said anything about it on purpose.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Okay i lied the NEXT chapter is going to be intense...since i have to go to class now blah sorry!
