~~AJ~~
“Hey babe.”I said as Caroline walked in the bedroom I was staying in. I looked down at the half full bottle of Jack Daniel’s sitting on the table in front of me along with the shot glass and contemplated pouring it. I had had one hell of a day.
“Don’t hey babe me…”she said and picked up the bottle and threw it into the mirror behind me. It shattered along with the mirror in hundreds of pieces all over the dresser and the floor and the smell of Jack took over the room. What the fuck was going on? “YOU ARE DONE WITH THIS! DO YOU HEAR WHAT I’M SAYING DONE!”she yelled pointing to the mess she had just made.
“Whoa…whoa…what is going on?”I asked her putting my hands on her shoulders so she wouldn’t throw anything else. I was sure Leighanne had told her, but I wanted to hear it out of her mouth before I incriminated myself. “What did Leigh tell you?”
She looked at me confused. “She didn’t tell me anything AJ what should she have told me?”she asked…dammit.
“About me and Brian in New York?”I said trying to beat around the bush. Her face still looked so confused.
“What happened with Brian and him in New York?”Caroline asked Leighanne who had propped herself up against the doorframe. Leighanne looked over at me to answer and I was stunned in place. How could I bring myself to tell her what I was about to say.
“TELL ME!”she yelled and I saw the tears rush to her face. She knew something, what was it???
“Brian saw me doing coke, but babe I’m quitting I haven’t done it all day.”I said and she shrugged my hands off her shoulders.
“Bull SHIT!”she said as the tears fell down her cheeks. I wanted to hug her and make her stop crying, but I couldn’t because I had caused it. She grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room across the hall turning the computer chair so I could see the screen. HOLY SHIT!!
“THIS is what I was talking about!”she said pointing to the computer. That fucking skank. She had put the pictures up on the internet of me and her. I don’t even think if I tried I could formulate words to say to Caroline right now…I mean what could I say. I had fucked up royally. “I guess you have nothing to say then?”she asked putting her hands on her hips as Brian walked up behind her to hear everything. And then I said exactly what I shouldn’t have.
“I love you.”I said and I don’t even know why. Bad fucking timing.
“Oh no…no.”she said holding her hand up to my face. “No AJ you don’t get to do that to me! You don’t get to say I love you for the first time to me when you’re all cracked out and I find out you’ve been cheating!”she said and I could tell she was about to get hysterical. “You don’t.”she said as Brian pulled her into him and she broke down. What was I supposed to do? It’s not like I could console her…so I did what I did best…defended myself.
“I do love you babe you know that. It doesn’t matter if I’ve never said it. I don’t even remember sleeping with that girl.”I said and she looked back at me and I knew that was exactly the thing she did NOT want to hear. I really suck at apologies. “It was the drugs…I’m sorry. I’ll quit for you!”
“You were supposed to quit last time.”Brian said rubbing his hands up her back.
“It’s different this time Rok I got her and its just different.”I said and Brian rolled his eyes.
“You had her when you started up again, man.”Brian said as she pulled away from him.
“I can’t do this anymore…”she said slowly as she sat down on the bed and looked down at the floor. Brian looked up at me and shook his head while walking out of the room.
“What are you saying?”I asked squatting down propping myself up from her knees. She was not about to break up with me.
“I can’t AJ…this is crazy. Every night, hell not even night, day your drunk as shit. I mean you get drunk so often I can’t even tell when your sober. Have you looked in the mirror lately? There is nothing in your eyes anymore. Nothing. And this is after a few weeks. I don’t wanna stick around for months of nothing.”she said as I rubbed my hand up her arm. She was right. I had been avoiding mirrors for that fact. I had become my former self, well not exactly, a more tamed version of my former self.
“I’m sorry.”I said sighing. “This is just me I guess.”
“No its not. I met you at soundcheck in Atlanta. That was YOU!”she said pressing her finger into my chest. “If it had just been drinking…no drugs, no cheating, maybe I could have stayed, but you went to London and met some random girl and cheated on me with her while I was at home sleeping in your bed. I don’t know how to get over that.”
I don’t even remember doing it and that’s what kills me. I really think that I blacked out and it happened. “I don’t know what else I can say.”she said and she shook her head and looked away.
“Just say you’ll forgive me and come back home with me. You don’t need to be alone right now.”I said referring to her father.
“I can’t let myself do that.”she said and I felt the water building up in my own eyes. I, Alexander James Mclean, was going to cry in front of a woman. “Stop.”she said as the first tear rolled. “I’m going to stay with Leighanne in Georgia for a while.”she said biting on her bottom lip.
“Caroline come on.”I said grabbing her hands in mine as I pulled myself up and sat down beside her on the bed.
“You have to get better, and you won’t if I stay around.”she said. “I’m sorry.”she said and kissed me lightly on the cheek as she stood up and walked out of the room. Wow. That’s really all I can think of to say right now. I wanted to punch holes all in the wall behind me, but I knew I couldn’t so I just sat there in disbelief.
~~CAROLINE~~
I had to do that. I had to. There was no getting around it. If I don’t leave he won’t get help. I don’t even know for a fact that if I do leave he’ll get help, but at least this way he can figure it out on his own. I just don’t get it. His solo CD is coming out soon and the boys are finishing up there Unbreakable Tour with a few added on dates sometime soon. It’s just bad timing, and I feel so stupid because everyone was so against me moving in with him and now I see why. He’s a train wreck. He hides it well, but inside he is a train wreck, no doubt about it.
“You okay?”Brian asked walking in the kitchen where I was searching for some medicine to get my stomach under control. AJ had walked out of my house with his luggage a few minutes before without saying a word to me.
“I broke up with him. I just think it’s the only way Bri.”I said and he pulled me into a hug.
“You’re right. It is the only way. Last time he didn’t get help until Kevin literally broke down his door and told him he was dead to him.”Brian said squeezing me right before letting me go. “I love you though. You got people here for ya.”he said and I tried to smile. Why couldn’t I just be like Leighanne and get the good one? That’s wrong of my to say, AJ was a good guy without all of the drugs and alcohol.
“We’re gonna leave soon.”Brian said looking over at Leighanne who had just walked into the kitchen. She looked concerned.
“I guess we need to get you outta here before your Mom comes back in and says I told you so huh?”Leighanne said hugging me.
“True.”I said shrugging.
“You sure you wanna stay with us? We’re leaving in like a day to finish out the dates?”Brian asked knowing it would be tough for all of us if I did, but I didn’t have anywhere else to go. My stuff was in LA. I would just have to ride it out. I didn’t realize the rest of the dates were so close to now.
“Brian I don’t have a choice.”I said. I felt like such a homeless person. I guess I could have just went to LA and stayed in AJ’s house while they were gone, but how awkward would that be.
“No I’m not saying it like that…I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable. I mean me and Leigh and Baylee have our own bus and everything I guess you could just stay in hiding there. He may actually never know your there.”he said and she laughed a little.
“It’s fine. Let’s just get outta here.”I said running upstairs to grab my luggage.
Author's Chapter Notes:
I'm sorry ahead of time...it was bound to happen.
