CHAPTER 30: It’s Not Something You Can Deny
--- CAROLINE ---
Deep breaths. Deep breaths. This is fine. You’re meant to be with him anyways. This is okay. Nick will never even find out. Deep breaths.
“Hey I’m coming back now!”I said completely out of breath.
“Are you okay? Where are you?”he slurred.
“I’m at AJ’s.”I said and before I could say another word he had hung up on me.
“Stop.”AJ said putting his arms on my shoulders to stop me as I was running around frantic trying to gather everything that I had brought with me.
“That was wrong. We shouldn’t have done that.”I said shrugging him off of me.
“Whatever.”he said throwing my other boot to me, but more like at me.
“I’ll be back in the morning with Brian and Leigh to take you to the airport.”I said breathing in deep as he pulled me into a hug. His face lightened as he remembered I had already promised that I would go with them. I don’t break promises unlike him. “I gotta go.”I said feeling his grip tighten around my waist as he continued to hug me. The alcohol from his breath was stinging my eyes. “Will you be okay?”
“Just going to lay down and go to sleep.”he said letting me go. He still kept his hands on my hips. “That way I get to see you faster.”
“Cut it out.”I said trying not to smile as I walked towards the door. “If you need anything call me okay.” I had forgotten what it felt like to be held by him. So perfect, not weird like with Nick. Nick is so freaking tall. I have to stand on my tip toes just to kiss him. AJ was maybe an inch taller than me so he was perfect. Well he’s not perfect...whatever you get my drift.
---- NICK ----
“Where the fuck have you been?”I practically yelled as I stumbled over to her. Aaron was hanging off my back so it was making it even more difficult to move.
“I told you I went to drop AJ off.”she said quietly and I could feel my face beginning to redden.
“AJ lives five minutes from here Caroline! FIVE MINUTES!”I said pointing my finger in her face. “You’ve been gone for almost two hours.” I grabbed her arm and pulled her into the empty men’s bathroom. “I don’t know if you have noticed this, but today is my fucking birthday and your bullshit with AJ has ruined it.”
“I wasn’t trying to ruin your birthday. I was trying to save him from looking like a complete idiot on TMZ tomorrow. He was to drunk to even remember his address. I had to do something.”she said and shrugged with indifference. “He’s shipping off to rehab tomorrow anyways babe. It’ll be just us for a few months. Don’t be mad.” I was really trying to calm down because I felt like hitting her in the face right now. “I can make it up to you.”she said giving me a sexy look as she slid down to unbutton my pants.
“Right here?”I asked looking around. She stood back up and locked the door into the bathroom and pushed me into one of the stalls. Our sex was always so dirty. I think that’s the only reason we are together really. That’s horrible. I let my hand trail down her stomach and in through the slit in her dress. “Where are your panties?”I asked.
“I didn’t wear any.”she said quietly averting her eyes from mine.
“Yes you did!”I said remembering her dancing. “I saw them. They were pink. I saw them when you were dancing.”she shrugged, squated down and unbuttoned my pants dropping my own underwear to the floor.
“Still care that I don’t have them on?”she said in between breaths. Of course I cared. Where were they then? She was giving me a hell of a blow job though so I suppose I can wait to be mad at her until we’re done.
“Shit babe. I’m gonna bust before I get to put it inside you.”I said pulling away from her. “This feels familiar.”I had pushed her up against the stall and was thrusting into her.
“Except the hard ass bricks.”she said smiling.
---- CAROLINE ----
“Come on birthday boy. Let’s get you outta here.”I said helping him walk towards the limo that was going to take us back to our hotel room. The club had closed. It was now five in the morning. I felt bad about using my vagina as power over Nick. I mean because I totally left my panties over at AJ’s. God I felt like such a skank. Such a drunk, dirty skank. Although hopefully *crosses fingers*I hope I am the only girl that’s ever slept with two Backstreet Boys in one night. God I can’t even fathom that whole thing at AJ’s. It’s all coming to me in pieces as I sober up.
“Overall was it a good party?”I asked following Nick into our hotel room.
“Yea overall.”he said pulling off his shoes as he sat down on the bed. “I’m so beat.”
“Me too.”I said thinking my night over. I pulled the covers back and laid back next to Nick.
“I don’t want you to see AJ anymore.”Nick said as he stared up at the ceiling. I turned to see if he was joking and it was pretty damn obvious he wasn’t.
“You’re serious?”I asked.
“Yea. I know something happened tonight. I am just to drunk and I don’t wanna deal with it on my birthday. Just...you didn’t get away with it so don’t think I let you off the hook because I didn’t know. I know something happened.”he said letting his eyes close.
“Nothing happ-”I started.
“DON’T LIE TO ME!”Nick roared making me jump.
‘Nick!”I said getting right back out of the bed. He watched me pull my dress back on and grab a room key.
“Where are you going?”he asked sitting up.
“Well I am sure as hell not staying here. You’re not going to accuse me of something that I didn’t do.”I lied. “And you sure as hell won’t get to raise your voice at me again.”
“Leave then! Run back to AJ!”Nick yelled as the door shut behind me. That is where I would go. We both knew that. It seemed like with in seconds I was ringing AJ’s doorbell for what seemed like an eternity until he came to answer. He looked a mess, but he had been sleeping. I guess he just looked tired. He didn’t say anything. He just climbed right back in bed. I slipped my dress off and pulled one of his tshirts off a hanger in his closet and pulled it over me. Cautiously I pulled back the covers on the opposite side and got in bed next to him. I turned my back to him and tried to close my eyes, but after a few minutes he was pressed up to the back of me, holding onto me as we laid down.
“I love you.”he said so quiet I could barely hear it as he planted one tiny kiss on my shoulder.
“I love you.”I said slowing drifting off to sleep.
--- AJ ---
“Get up sleepy butt.”I didn’t care that we had only been asleep for five hours. It was already 10AM. My flight was leaving at 4 PM. I was finally happy when I woke up for once.
“Ehhhh...”she said waving me away. “I don’t feel good.”she said burying her face in the pillow.
“You know what would make you feel better?”I asked running my hand through her hair. “If you get in the shower and wash your greasy ass hair.”I said and she smiled as she pushed herself out of the bed.
“I think I’ll throw up first.”she said pretty much running to the toilet. “I’m never drinking again.”she yelled from the bathroom as the first chunks hit the water.
“Sure.”I said laughing. “Let’s see how long that lasts.”
“I could say the same about you.”she said smartly.
“BURN!”I yelled walking back out of the room towards the kitchen to make us something to eat. She was already behind me, drying her hair with a towel while holding onto another towel around her body before I could start cooking anything.
“I don’t think I could hold anything down.”she said sighing.
“You can probably hold down the best omelette you will ever eat in your life. Drink some water you’ll be fine you baby.”I teased.
“Fine.”she said laying her head down on the counter.
“So why’d you end up coming back here last night? Trouble in paradise?”I asked while stirring up some eggs and other things to go into the omelets.
“Can we just go at least until your flight without talking about Nick?”she pleaded.
“If we can pretend that nothing ever happened between us and everythings fine until my flight leaves.”I proposed the idea.
“Deal.”she said holding out her hand. It was only a game, but it would give me something to live for while I was out there getting treated.
“Then here you are sweetheart. Let’s get this day started off right.”I said laying a plate down in front of her.
“It looks great. Let’s see how much of this I can eat.”she said stuffing her face. “You wanna share this one? Help me out a little.” Its not like it was even that big, just thick I guess. My omelette. Not what you guys are thinking of. He he I’m all giddy because I get my girl back for a few hours. I know...I know it’s just pretend.
“Yea okay.”I said cutting off some for myself.
“So what would you like to do for your last few hours of freedom?”she asked. Did she want to know my real answer? Or the one that won’t make me look like a perv?
“Lay in bed with you all day. If you wanna know the truth.”I said looking up at her from the plate.
“BOOORRRIIINNNNGGGG!” she yelled making me laugh.
“I was telling the truth.”I said shrugging.
“HOLY CRAP!”she said loudly. She seemed just as excited as I was to be spending the day together. “I think I hear LOST Season One on BluRay calling us back to your bed. You hear it too?”I acted like I was listening for something and then broke into a smile.
“Good call my dear. Good call.”I grabbed the empty plate in front of her and put it in the sink. “God!”I said turning around to see she was standing so close to me our noses were touching.
--- CAROLINE ---
“Been working out?”I asked running my hands over his chest. He had this orange tight Tshirt on. God he looked sexy. Like all bulky and manly and my Lord.
“You know I work out everyday.”he said pulling me into him as I laid my head on his chest. He rested his head on top of mine. AJ had not stopped smiling for the past thirty minutes.
“Well then this shirt makes you look sexy.”I said looking up at him giving him puppy dog eyes. “Like all manly like you could take care of me.”
“I’ll always take care of you.”I couldn’t help but smile at that. No matter how good the sex was between me and Nick. Nothing could ever top how much AJ truly did love me.
“Come on.”I said after a few minutes of just standing there and he followed me back into the bedroom. “You set everything up.”
“It was your idea.”he said laughing at how typical it was for me to want him to do everything.
“All you have to do is stick the damn disk in there. I got in bed first so haha.”I said making fun of him as he opened the player and put the disk inside. “You’re a fucking Backstreet Boy shouldn’t you be able to just tell it what DVD to pick and some robot come out and do it for you?”
“She’s in the shop.”he said laughing as he climbed in beside me. “I’m really excited!”
“ME TOO! The first Season was the shiiiiitttt!”I said as he pressed play.
--- AJ ---
“Come on babe. We gotta go.”I said patting her on the leg around 2 PM. Three episodes of LOST later.
“I don’t wanna.”she whined, so I grabbed her feet and drug her off the bed where she landed with a nice flop on the floor.
“Leigh’s going to kill me when she picks us both up here.”she said getting her stuff together.
“Hey.”I said pulling her into me with one arm. “Everything’s cool.”I said kissing her. For the first time since forever she didn’t pull away, so neither did I. It was the most amazing kiss we have had in a really long time. The doorbell rang interrupting us and I went galloping towards it to let Brian and Leigh in. Instead...I let in Hurricane Nick.
“Where have you been?? I have been trying to get in touch with you since you left last night?”he interrogated as he ran over to her.
“I know. Take a hint. I don’t feel like talking to you right now.”she said crossing her arms as she looked away from him.
“Well you better get to feel like talking because there is a HELL of a lot to discuss.”he said looking back and forth between the two of us.
“There’s nothing to discuss. She slept in the spare bedroom. We watched LOST all day. Thats it.”I spoke up as I walked up behind him.
“You know you can just stay out of this. Don’t you need to be getting to the airport or something?”Nick asked rudely.
“Stop acting like that Nick. Nothing happened.”Caroline said as Brian and Leighanne walked in my open front door to see the nice scene that was playing out.
“You expect me to believe that when you’re standing in front of all of us half naked.”he said. Point taken.
“I just got out of the shower.”she defended. Nice try, but her hair wasn’t wet anymore.
“Whatever.”Nick said shaking his head. He was furious.
“I don’t mean to interrupt, but we gotta go.”Brian said practically pulling me out the door.
“Wait on me!”I heard Caroline yell as I was putting my suitcases in the back of Brian’s SUV.
“Hey Bay.”I said waving to Baylee who was in the middle seat. He waved back to me and then went back to his Nintendo DS.
“Why are you so mad at me babe?”Nick yelled following Caroline outside towards the car.
“Because Nick you’re acting like a jealous asshole right now.”Caroline said with a “heard that” ringing from Brian as he walked out behind them.
“Stay out of it Rok.”Nick said. When Nick was pissed, he saw red and no one was clear from his fire.
“Look why don’t you just have the rest of the day to think about all of this and I will see you tomorrow morning back at the hotel okay?”Caroline said resting her hand on his chest. He looked down at her hand and then back up at her, kissed her on the cheek, and walked back to his car. He might himself actually love her. That’d be a first for Carter. She turned from him and got into the backseat with me to ride towards the airport.
“Why doesn’t anybody wanna sit with me gosh!”Baylee said making everyone laugh. After a few minutes of getting death stares from Brian and Leighanne, I felt Caroline’s hand slide into mine. I looked over at her and smirked. I got my girl back. I got my girl back!...sort of.
--- CAROLINE ---
For once, we were walking into an airport where no one knew we were actually coming. We had to go through the ticket check an baggage check. We did have to wait to get special permission to go with AJ to his terminal though.
“I think we’re gonna hang back here for a little bit until your ready to go.”Brian said winking at me as the three of them went into a little gift shop. “Less attention that way.”
I felt AJ fumbling around reaching for my hand as we walked towards his terminal. I knew our picture was getting taken and I knew Nick would see it, but at this point its just like whatever you know?
“Wow they are already boarding your flight. Mr. First Class you can already get on board.”I said pulling on his shirt a little bit as I leaned into him. I was all about this man today. He just had never looked sexier to me. It was probably because he would be gone for so long and I knew that, which is why I wanted to take advantage of what little time I did have with him. Today was a nice day...didn’t know what it meant. It was all supposed to be “pretend”.
“Ugh! I don’t wanna go! I’m crazy about you today.”he said hugging me so tightly that I could barely breathe.
“I’m crazy about you today.”I said as he leaned down to kiss me. Again - didn’t care that Nick would see these photos. I’d deal with the consequences later.
“Alright Rok - Leigh - Little Bay.”AJ said going through giving them each a hug as they walked up a few minutes later. “Take care. I’ll be in touch with you guys.”
“Stay safe. We’ll keep you in our prayers.”Leighanne said as she walked by and pinched me with her disapproval of what I was doing. She knew I couldn’t help it though. Look at those puppy dog brown eyes.
“We’ll wait for you at the front.”Brian said patting me on the back as he walked behind me.
“Please take this seriously.”I said looking back to AJ as they walked off.
“I’m going to. I know that taking it seriously means you.”he said with a sweet smile. “So I got this.”he said putting his hand on the side of my face. “Don’t cry. Don’t even cry.”he said seeing me tear up. “Because you’re gonna start crying and then I’ll start crying and then it’ll just be a huge mess.”he said making me laugh.
“I love you.”I said taking a deep breathe. That was the first time I had said it first in forever.
“I love you more.”he said leaning down to kiss me again. I couldn’t help myself as I pulled his face closer to mine with both my hands on his cheeks. He had a firm enough grip on my butt to lift me off the ground a little. “I’ll call you all the time. Don’t forget about me while I’m gone.”he said putting me down.
“I could never forget about you.”I said shaking my head.
“UGH! I don’t wanna go!”he said as they called last boarding for his flight.
“I’ll write you.”I said as he pulled me in for another kiss.
“I love you so much.”he said smiling as he started to walk away. I saw him wave to me as he was getting his ticket checked. I stayed at the glass window, with a flood of tears streaming down my face, and suddenly he reappeared. He talked to the ticket lady for a second and then jogged over to me.
“If I’m better when I come back.”he said trying to catch his breath. “Will you leave Nick for me?” I looked down at the floor and then back up at him.
“Yeah.”I said giving him a slight smile. It was inevitable. He leaned down to kiss me one last time and then he was gone.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Last night before AJ leaves for rehab...
