-- Taylor --
All I could think about while Natalie was busy talking my ear off was Caroline and her hand on my arm. I missed that. I missed the way she could make me forget how pissed I was just by the slightest touch.
“…pregnant.”was the last thing I heard out of Natalie’s mouth and I snapped back into what she was saying. WTF?!
“WHAT!!!”I yelled jumping up off of the couch. I was twenty one years old. I was NOT going to be a father.
“Yea I’m pregnant Taylor.”Natalie said as my eyes grew larger. I could literally feel like growing as she continued to talk.
“Oh my God.”I said putting my head in my hands as the bus screeched to a stop.
“Taylor it’ll be okay.”she said putting her hand on my back. I wanted to fucking throw up right now. My family is hardcore, and I mean HARDCORE, Christian. My parents were going to flip when they found out she was pregnant.
“No Nat.”I said standing up pulling away from her. “It won’t be.”I said walking towards the front of the bus and off as we pulled up to a rest stop slash gas station. I walked swiftly into the bathroom that was off the side of the building and leaned my head over the toilet and puked. I leaned up against the wall wiping my mouth with my sleeve, all of these thoughts of Caroline running threw my head. Why was I such a fuck up?
“Taylor…”a voice said from behind me. I pulled away from Sarah who I was in mid-lip lock with and turned to see Caroline standing there. Her eyes swelled up with tears as she realized what was happening. I must have looked like a deer caught in headlights. I had no idea how I had gotten myself into this situation…oh wait…yes I do it’s sitting in my pants. I dropped my arms from the girl and stood there silent stammering for something to say.
“How could you Taylor? After everything…”she said quietly trying not to let the tears fall.
“Who the hell is she Taylor?”Sarah said backing away from me.
“Don’t worry about who I am…you can have him.”Caroline said putting her hands on her hips waiting on me to say something. Nothing would come out. “I hope you love her Taylor.”she said and turned to walk away. I ran up behind her and grabbed her arm turning her back around to me. I was ashamed and I was trying to use my long blonde hair to cover my face so I wouldn’t have to see how heartbroken hers was.
“How dare you play with me like that Taylor!”she yelled pulling her arm away from me. “My GOD! I can’t believe after all this time of knowing you you could be so God damn stupid.”I could still feel the burn where Sarah had slapped me across the face and walked away towards her car. It was nothing compared to the scolding I was getting from Caroline, knowing she knew about everything killed me.
“I’m sorry.”I said reaching for her hand. “It just gets lonely.”
“You wanna talk about lonely Taylor…”she said shaking her head at me. “Let’s talk about how I sit at home by myself with my mother everynight in Tulsa just waiting on some kinda contact with you. I see you on TV more than I see you in real life Taylor. I have done nothing but sit and worry about something like this going on for a year now and I am done with it! DONE!”she yelled as the tears flowed down her face.
“I’m in love with you Caroline.”I said and she looked up at me and rolled her eyes.
“You must be at a real loss for words.”she said sighing. “If you loved me you wouldn’t be doing these things on the side so don’t stand here and lie straight to my face. You KNOW I deserve better than that.”
“Caroline please!”I said quietly. My voice began to shake and I was going to cry.
I was bound to Natalie for life now. I splashed some water onto my face and stepped back into the sunlight. Caroline was waiting outside obviously having to pee. Damn unisex bathrooms.
“Taylor what’s wrong?”she asked looking at my bloodshot eyes.
“Nothing.”I said looking away from her so she wouldn’t see I had been crying.
“I’m here for a week okay. I don’t want it to be like this.”she said leaning up against the wall.
“It’s not you okay?”I said shaking my head.
“Please don’t give me that it’s not you it’s me shit because its really lame.”she said waving at Zac as he walked off the bus.
“Natalie’s pregnant okay!”I yelled throwing my hands in the air. I could see her swallow hard and I knew it had hit her like a ton of bricks. “It’s my kid and all I have ever wanted is to be back with you and that can never happen now.”she reached for my arm but I pushed away from her and walked back towards the bus. I knew she would follow me. She always did.
“Taylor…”I told you she would come. She sat down beside me in the front of the bus and put her arm on my leg. There was the touch again. I layed back on the couch and tried to block her out. “Why’d you say that back there?”she asked. I hadn’t meant to say it. It just slipped out. Now we were gonna have to talk about it.
“Say what?”I was going to play it off.
“Say that you wanted to be with me.”she said looking down at the floor. All I wanted to tell her was that she was all I wanted forever, but it couldn’t be that way anymore.
-- Caroline --
Taylor opened his blue eyes slowly and looked at me.
“I didn’t say that.”he said closing his eyes back. I was pretty sure I wasn’t crazy and he did actually say that outside of the bathroom. Maybe I should just drop it.
“Right.”I said rolling my eyes at him. He denied everything he didn’t want to talk about.
“Look I meant what I said, but Natalie’s right in that store and I can’t exactly have the conversation with you right now you know? She will be back in here any minute.”he said putting his hand on top of mine. “I only got with her because she filled your place.”
“And you had sex with her because of that?”I asked. I was really hurt that he did that with her. It was a big deal to both of us to be each others firsts. We had talked about it for a while. I guess I couldn’t expect him to save himself for me, but I was still a virgin so if it happened now it wouldn’t even count. It wouldn’t mean as much.
“It wasn’t like that Caroline. She’s not like that, I mean she’s nothing like you. She was just there and it happened.”he said noticing my facial expression had gotten really sad. “What?”
“Nothing it’s just I always thought…”I said but stopped. This whole conversation was stupid. It’d been two years. If he wanted to have sex with someone he could.
“I know I’m sorry that never…that you weren’t my.”he couldn’t finish his sentence either. It was to uncomfortable. I knew what he was saying and I shook my head to let him know I agreed.
“Yea Tay.”I said patting him on his leg as I stood up. I couldn’t look at him anymore. I was getting to worked up over this.
“Don’t be like that.”he said trying to get me to sit back down. I ignored him and kept on walked to the back where Zac was playing a video game.
“You look depressed.”he said as I sat down next to him. “You okay?Lighten up!”Something was different about Zac. He was still the most immature person I knew, but somehow he had grown up.
“I can’t. Wish I could, but everything is just falling apart in my life.”I said leaning back breathing out hard. He pause his video game and looked over at me.
“Mom told me what happened. I’m really sorry.”he said putting his arm around me. This was weird. “Death happens you know. Good thing you got me here to keep you all happy!”he said making me laugh a little. He was interrupted by all the screaming in the front of the bus. “What the hell is going on in there?”
“Taylor knocked up his girlfriend.”I said and his eyes got HUGE!
“Run that by me again.”Zac said shaking his head like he had been unconscious.
“Yeah.”I said letting him know I meant it. I guess his parents had found out from Natalie and they were screaming at the top of their lungs at both of them.
“Geez I’m sorry.”Zac said not really knowing what else to say.
“How long have they been together?”I asked curiously.
“A year or so…she’s kinda a bitch.”Zac said and I smiled.
“I think I wanna go back home Zac.”I said suddenly feeling sick. I couldn’t spend time with them while all of this was going on. It disgusted me.
“Why you just got here? I know things are bad but you still got me.”he said squeezing me tighter. He seemed like a little man to me. It was weird. I think my whole view had changed on Zac from just being here today. He was nineteen now he wasn’t a little kid anymore.
“I like your hair short.”I said running my hands over his clean cut hair he was sporting now. He pulled away from me and smiled.
“Thanks.”he said and I’m pretty sure he just winked at me. Ha. Ha. “You need to stay though…cause I want you to.”I looked over at him and narrowed my eyebrows. Was he hitting on me?
“Well if you want me to.”I said sort of giggling. I couldn’t help it. He was cute. The bus pulled to a stop abruptly and Zac hopped up and looked out the window.
“First stop!Come on!”he said grabbing my hand. He was really excited. I thought he might pee in his pants. As he pulled me off the bus I noticed everyone was already unpacking stuff. There were screaming girls lined up against a barricade by the buses. This was weird. I wondered what it must feel like to be them on the other side. He was just Zac to me, but to them he was a superstar. Taylor was leaned up against the bus with one of his legs propped up. He reminded me of James Dean in that stance. He looked miserable and was just staring at all of the girls screaming for his attention. He smiled and waved at them right before he disappeared into the arena.
“Where’s Isaac?”I asked. I hadn’t seen him yet. I was hoping he was on the other bus. I loved him. He was my big brother. Out of everyone he is who I had kept in touch with as much as possible. He called me at least once a week just to check in. He had been the first one I called when mom died. I couldn’t wait, no I needed to talk with him about Taylor. He would know what to tell me to do.
“Flying in in a few hours. He was visiting his girlfriend.”Zac said handing me a bag from underneath the bus. “Come on follow me.”Zac said as I followed him inside the arena. After I dropped my bag off I wondered around the arena looking for anyone at all. I opened one of the doors and the place was wide open to me. I looked around at all of the empty seats as I stepped up onto the stage. This had been my dream, but once they became famous I put mine on hold. It would be difficult to do anything without just being their opening act or something like that. I sat down on the stage with my feet hanging off. I wanted to cry, but instead I imagined myself up here on stage with all of the seats filled standing next to Taylor and his piano. That’s how we had played when we were younger. I was the singer, not him.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Okay so for those who are not fansons...this actually happened to Taylor in real life with a girl named Natalie getting pregnant and having to get married and all...I just added my character in
