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He wasn’t ready to let her go. Not just yet...but he had to...there was no other way. It pained him to see his one and only love...just to slip away...as if nothing had happened between them.

It literally made him sick to his stomach.

Alexander sat in the room they both shared...as one. He walked to the bed, and sat down, looking at the portrait of the two lovers in a tight embrace, smiling for the camera. Alexander picked it up, and traced his finger along his lovers’ face. He tried to hold back his tears, for he missed her so much.

“Julia...” Alexander began. “Why did you leave me? Why did you have to go?” Alexander embraced the frame, and began to cry softly.

“Alex...? Alex...” Alexander woke up to see Julia’s pure face. Julia Gauthier was indeed the most beautiful woman he had ever known. Her hair was dark brown with copper-red highlights. Her skin was a pure as porcelain, and her eyes were a remarkable greenish-blue. He loved to wake up seeing her hover over him. She was truly beautiful. He touched her gentle face with his hand. “I love you, Alex.” “And I love you, Julia...”

Alexander sat up, and softly kissed her. He wrapped his arms around her, and lain her down upon the bed, with him on top. “Alex...Make love to me...please...” Baby...you didn’t have to plead...” Alexander pulled the covers over them, and he and his beautiful girlfriend made love.

There was a knock on the door. “Come in.” The door opened, and Alex’s friend, Kevin walked in. “Hey, Dawg. Why are you in here?” Alex looked up at Kevin, with tears in his eyes. “Kevin...” AJ had a piece of paper in his hand, and he was shaking profusely. “I...I can’t do it, Kev. It’s too goddamn painful to do this...” Kevin placed his hand on Alex’s shoulder. “AJ...she’ll thank you for doing this for her.” “Kevin...I just can’t do it...I just can’t.” Kevin got up, and knelt down in front of Alexander. “Alex...you have to do this. You can’t just sweep this under the rug, and live your life as if nothing happened.

You have to do this. Not only for Julia, but for her family and friends.” Alexander looked deep into his eyes. Kevin spoke the truth. He couldn’t just leave the fact that she’s gone, and live his life. Alex collapsed into Kevin’s arms, as Kevin patted him upon his back. “It’s gonna be alright, J. It’s gonna be alright.” “Kevin...please say that you’re telling the truth....please...” Alex let it all go, and tightened his grasp on Kevin.

Alexander then broke the embrace, and stood up, and so did Kevin. “Come on, Alex. They’re waiting for us.” Kevin walked to the door, and opened it. He let Alex out first. Brian was standing against the wall, as he saw Alexander pass him. “Boy,” Brian began. “He’s never gonna be alright, is he?” Kevin walked to Brian, and placed his hand on his shoulder. “I don’t know, Rok...I just don’t know. By the looks of it...he’s never gonna be able to let her go.”

Alexander walked up to the steps of Julia’s apartment. “Ok, McLean...don’t be nervous...Just breathe...let the nausea pass, and ask her...GOD I hope she says yes...” Alexander rung the doorbell. “Just a minute...” Alex took a deep breath, and closed his eyes. “Hey, Tiger...” Alexander opened his eyes, and saw Julia. “Julia...uh...hey...” Julia walked out to him. “Hey yourself, sweetheart...”

Alexander was getting nervous by the second. Julia grabbed his shirt collar, and pulled him in the house. Julia led Alex to the couch, and they both sat down. “Julia...” Began Alex. “There’s something that I gotta get off my chest, but before I do that, I want your complete attention.” “Done.”

Alexander was lost in her eyes for a split second, before coming back to reality. “So...what is it? What did you wanna tell me?” Alex turned to face her, and took her hands and linked them to his. “Julia...” “Yes?” “We’ve been together for how long?” “A year and a half.” “Ok then...That year and a half has been the best ever, and I...I never wanna let you go. So....here it goes...”

Julia looked at him, as she smiled. She knew, yet she didn’t know what was about to happen. “Julia Varicella Gauthier...when I’m with you...I am solely complete...but when I’m without you...I’m nothing. I love you with everything in me...You just don’t know how much you mean to me...” Julia placed her hand upon his face, and said, “Yes I do. Alexander...I love you so much...We both can see it.”

Alexander pulled away from her. “Julia...” Alexander got down on one knee. Julia was about to cry... “Alex...oh my God...” “Julia Varicella Gauthier...Will you do the honor of being my wife?” Julia knelt down before her, and he hugged him tight, and left soft kisses upon his face. “Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you, Alex!” “Really? You will? Julia...you have made me the happiest man on Earth!” Alexander took her face into his hands, and gave her a passionate kiss. “I love you, Alex...” And I, you, Julia...Always, and forever...”

Alex, Howie, Brian, and Kevin are in a car, driving to Julia’s parents’ house. As Howie was driving, he asked Alex, “So, AJ? You gonna be ok?” AJ was looking out the window. He didn’t answer Howie’s question. “Where did it come from? How did it develop inside her?” Brian looked at Alex, and said, “I don’t know, J. She told us that she had that lupus since she was born, but it didn’t take away any time away from her life. She was perfectly healthy.” Alex nodded his head, and looked out the window again...

Alexander and his mother, Denise, drove to the hospital to see his wife, Julia. As Denise parked the car, Denise took her son’s hand, and said, “You ok?” “Yeah. I just hope she’s alright.” “She is, Alex. She just took a bad fall. She’ll heal up nicely. She’s such a strong woman. I’m glad to have her as my daughter.” “Yeah...” As Alex got out the car, Denise grabbed his arm through the window. “Now, Alexander...where’s my kiss?” “Sorry, Mom.”

Alex bent down, and kissed him mother on the cheek. “I’ll call to let you know anything, ok Mom?” “Alright honey. See you soon.” And with that, Denise drove off. Alexander had a bouquet of roses, and chocolates, to help her feel better. Alexander walked in the hospital, and walked up to the receptionists’ desk.

“Excuse me? I’m here to see a Julia McLean? My wife?” The receptionist walked away from her desk, smiled at him, and led him to Room 19. “Thank you, Ma’am.” As the lady walked off, Alex knocked on her door. “It’s open.” Alex opened the door, and saw her in bed with a mini dinner table above her waist.

“Hey, baby...” Alexander walked up to her, placed the chocolates and flowers upon the inn table, and kissed her on the cheek. “Hey Julia. How’s your leg?” “Oh, it’s fine. I’ve been better.” Suddenly, Julia coughed. “Are you ok, babe?” “I’m fine, sweety.” As Alex turned around, to put the flowers in some water, Julia grabbed a tissue, and coughed again...this time, blood appeared on the paper.

Julia quickly disposed of the tissue, wiped her mouth, and looked at Alex. “AJ...do you know how much I love you?” Alexander walked back to her, and sat by her. “Yeah...I do.” “Alex...promise me...” Alexander took her hand, and held it. “Yes, Love?” “Promise me...that what ever happens to me...I’ll always be there for you...Please, remember that...” “I will honey..I will...” Alex kissed her upon the cheek again...but then he realized that something else was wrong.

“Julia...is there something you’re not telling me?” Julia looked down, and started to cry. “I can’t lie to you, Alexander...I just can’t live a damn lie...” Alexander was now scared. “Julia...” “The lupus that I have?” “Yeah...?” Well...it’s gotten worse.” “Worse? What the hell do you mean, ‘worse’?” “Over the years, when I told you that I’ve been having headaches? Well, they weren’t just any headache...They were tumor growth pains.” “Tu–tumor growth pains? Julia...please...don’t tell me...”

Julia was choked up, but she had to tell him. “I have 2 malignant tumors on my frontal lobe...they’re at their final stages...Alex...I’m so sorry...” Alex looked at her with tears in his eyes. “Julia...don’t be sorry....this is not your fault...I...” AJ couldn’t take it...he sat there and cried...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Alex went into the hospital, with the rest of his friends. Howie walked up to the receptionists’ desk. “Hello. We’re here to see a Mrs. Julia McLean? We’re here to surprise her”. The receptionist called them over to a corner. “I’m very sorry, you guys....but Julia passed away this morning...The doctors did everything they could to revive her...I’m truly sorry...” The guys were in utter disbelief...all but Alex. “Heh...what a kidder. Mrs. Ramirez...please...Can we see Julia?”

Howie, Brian, Kevin, and Nick looked at each other. “Mr. McLean...I’m sorry...Julia died this morning.” Alex’s near smile instantly turned into a frown.

“She’s....she’s dead?” “Yeah, J...Look, man...” AJ walked up to a wall, and started banging hard on it. “She’s not dead....She’s NOT dead! SHE’S NOT DEAD!!” AJ put his back against the wall, slid down, and cried. His face was in his hands, his knees were to his chest...he was now incomplete.