I pace the floor, scratching my head with the butt of the gun, this is seriously fucked up. I killed the bastard and I don’t feel an ounce better…I didn’t even give him a chance to tell me, why he was trying to kill her. What has she done to anyone to deserve to be on someone’s hit list. Then it hits me, that’s not the major reason I’m angry…I didn’t even get to know who my parents were, if I had a brother or a sister. Maybe the damn file told me how they died. God damn it!
“Jack are you ok?” I hear her voice full of concern, she’s standing a couple of feet away from me.
Now, I know it’s not her fault. Hell, she probably doesn’t even know what the fuck is wrong with me. But there isn’t another person here to take my frustrations out on, so she will have to do. “No…I’m not fucking ok. CRYSTAL!” I wave the gun her way as she lets out a yelp and flinches “Does it look like I’m OK? Huh? That fucking bastard…he…” I close my eyes and stop for a second, the whole room is spinning and not only is there a knot in my stomach, but there’s one lodged in my throat.
“He burned it…that file…that contained everything about me. I didn‘t even take a look at it…I didn’t find out who they were…how or why they died…what their names were…” I stop pacing, my jaw clenches in anger, and my fists open and close. Then I feel a surge of pain well up inside of me, I cover my face, furrowing my eyebrows, as I hear myself sniffle. Something warm trickles down my cheek, and I realize that I‘m crying. Me, grown ass Jack D. is crying and worse in front of the kid. I can‘t let her see me like this.
I begin for the stairs and I hear her behind me. “Please Jack don‘t walk away…”
“I can‘t talk right now Crystal.” I make it to the last step, noticing that the tears haven’t stopped. I wipe them away angrily, with the back of my hand, I didn‘t even know I had the ability to shed tears. Storming into my room, I want to slam the door behind me, but I know she’s there. I walk over to the window, where I notice that the dark clouds have covered up the sun. Just right for the fucking occasion. I see her sit down on the corner of the bed, her hands nestled on her lap.
“Denise…Bob…and Abby” her voice cracks, as she says the last name. “Those were their names…”
My mouth falls open, I have no fucking clue as to what she is talking about. There is no way for her to know this shit. Is she fucking with me? Is she one of them? I put my hand on my gun and walk towards her. “What did you say?”
She stares at the floor without giving me an answer, I’m really not in the mood for fucking games. So I do the unthinkable and pull out the gun, pointing it directly at her chest. A gasp escapes her, as her hands fly up “Jesus Jack…I’m…I…I don’t want you to get mad at me. Please don’t…wave that shit at me.”
I point it directly at her, she thinks I’m fucking around, but if she doesn’t start talking… “How the fuck do you know that…?”
Biting on the bottom of her lip, her gaze falls back to the floor “You were born in West Palm Beach, Florida, on January 9, 1978...your mother’s name was Denise, your father Bob…uh officer Bob Mclean…and you had a little sister that was five, Abby. I’m sorry Jack…last night while you were in the shower, I came upon the file. I…I’m sorry…I read it.”
I can feel my jaw tighten, my bottom lip is quivering and I feel like I just got punched in the stomach. I fall to my knees right in front of her. I can’t even be angry at her, if she wouldn’t have read that shit, I wouldn’t know a damn thing. My arms impulsively wrap around her waist and I rest my head on her lap. I can feel my body shaking, as I give into this jumble of emotions rushing through me.
“It’s ok…you can cry…its ok to cry…Jack. It‘s ok to be hurt…angry and confused…” I can feel her fingers tenderly raking through my hair, while her other hand runs up and down the side of my face.
My brain is running full speed, trying to make out what the hell this feeling is, stirring in the pit of my stomach. My arms tighten around her waist and I bury my face into her stomach. I can’t make it out…is it…no…it can’t be? I am…she is making me…I feel, comforted, by the gentleness of her hand over my face, and the softness of her voice. This all feels good and all, but I really need to find out if she read anything else.
“Cr…Crys, was there…anything else? Did you read anything else?” I can hear myself pleading to her, it’s almost pathetic, but I have to know. I lift my head to look up at her. My jaw is still tight, and my brows furrowed. How the hell did I get reduced to this level? I’m a cold fucking hearted assassin, that never failed a damn mission, and here I am, a crumpled man, on my fucking knees, with tears running down my face.
“I…um…” she looks at me, I can tell she’s nervous. Why the fuck would she be nervous? Maybe she thinks I’m going to hurt her, if she tells me something bad.
“Crys…please? Please…just tell me that you know something else…that you read something else, damn it!” Here I go losing my temper again, “I’m sorry…just please”
I let my eyes plead, with her, “Ok…Jack…“ She speaks so softly, that little tingles creep up my spine. Her eyes meet with mine, as she cups my face in her hands. I’m not pushing her away and I’m not sure why. I’m guessing it’s my instincts, she wont tell me if I’m an ass, and I really need to know.
“Thank you…“ I barely speak the words, but they are there. You know…at the moment…I’m barely a fucking man…let alone an assassin. How the hell did all this, including her, manage to make me such a fucking mess? I have no damn idea, but I tell you one thing. It blows!!
“Your mom was a homemaker, she stayed home with you and your little sister. It also said that, you were very close to her…” it wasn’t the moment for humor, but she chuckled timidly “Uh…you were a real momma’s boy” Wait a god damn minute…did she just say ‘momma’s boy’? Oh HELL NO…that’s impossible! I guess… “Your dad…was an officer in the narcotics division, from what I read…he had just moved to that position. It did say that he cracked a big case, before he…died. It didn’t give much detail, but it sounded like a really big and nasty drug bust, that included something about paid murders.”
I'm listening to her talk, and I'm trying to register it all, but somehow it's just not making sense. “Drug…paid murders?” I am fucking confused. Paid murders, is the same shit as…missions and assignments.
She lets out a deep sigh, somehow I know this part is going to be ugly. “Um…they were killed by a bomb in the car…” I flinch at the words, thats not what I was told. “It was on December 12th, 1998” once again she lets out a long breath, as she wipes away my tears, with her thumbs. I hadn’t even realized that the tears continued.
Then I realize, I just found out, that in fact I had a mother, father and a little sister, but, that they were killed. Why am I still here? Was it done by someone like me? Was this how all those people, left behind by those on my lists felt? Not only did I find out about my family, but also that Don lied to me all this fucking time, and that he is trying to fuck me now.
I stand up full of anger, and confusion. Don had told me so many fucking times, that he had saved me from a car accident, but now I was highly doubting that shit. Maybe that's why everyone is out to kill me now? Why now though? I have no damn idea.
I turn to look at her, as she lifts her head slowly, our eyes lock. As I look into her blue eyes, it feels like my body is floating away, like my heart just exploded inside my chest. I take her hand and pull her onto her bare feet, her body crashes against mine. Without thinking I wrap my arms around her, as I bury my face into the crook of her neck. I hold her tight against me “Thank you, Crys.” I sniffle, as my tears slow down. It takes me a few more minutes to get my ass together.
When I finally do, I pull away, as she still looks at me. I’m not really sure how to describe the look on her face, or the deepness of her stare. I run my hand over her cheek, and to the back of her neck, letting my fingers slip into her hair. I watch as her eyes close, and I let my lips find their way, to hers. It takes her a couple of minutes to respond to me, she‘s probably shocked by my actions. Then her arms wrap around my neck, as our mouths take turns covering each another.
This is my first. I mean, not my first kiss…but my first time kissing someone, so gently. Damn, have I mentioned how good her lips taste. Their so intoxicating, I can’t bring myself to break away. I think my brain, just shut down, cause I’m losing all control, over myself. Then again, if it’s shut down, then what the hell is causing all this shit? My arms curl around her waist and one hand moves to the small of her back, while the other, works its way up her shirt. Our breathing is elevated and I can feel her hands run up and down my chest. Damn, I really want her! I’m just not sure for what reasons. I can feel junior start to ache, maybe that’s what it is…I just need to release, I haven’t in a fucking long time.
She takes my hand, and pulls me towards the bed, letting herself fall onto it. We part long enough to let me pull my shirt over my head. I can see her eyes tracing my body, and it makes me a bit uncomfortable. Damn I sound like a bitch, but no one has ever looked at me that way. So I lean over her, letting our lips reconnect, I feel the warmth of her hands on my back, which send shivers all over me. Usually I want to get down to business, and get myself off. I’ve got to admit…that I’m enjoying this. The warmth of her body against mine. The tingling sensation, of her touch. The taste of her skin, as my mouth leaves hers, and continues down her jaw line, down to her neck. I can feel her heart racing against my chest, and her breathing has quickened. My hand slides from her stomach down to the waistband of her shorts, as my fingers sneak their way under, one by one.
She pushes me gently “Uh…Jack…”
“Yeah…” I come up to look at her, “Wha...?” I see concern in her eyes. I quickly slip my hand out of her shorts “I‘m going to fast! Fuck…!” Way to go Jack, I can't even get laid, before these bastards kill me.
She smiles and nods “No, it‘s just that…well…” she clears her throat.
Oh fuck! What now? She doesn‘t want to do it, got me all fucking hot and bothered and now she wants to change her fucking mind. Aint that a bitch! I start to get up, I don‘t want to show her, that I'm bothered by this. Although, I‘ve never been one to hide my anger. Why am I angry anyways? I've been telling myself, this is impossible, since I met her. I feel her hand against my cheek. Now I‘m plain irritated, and I can‘t look her in the eye. Shit, what was I thinking, I‘m a fuck up, she can definitely do better.
“Jack, please don‘t get mad…I just wanted to tell you…that…well…”
“It‘s all good Crys…” my head snaps up, as I hear someone pulling into the driveway. “Someone is coming anyways…” I stand up and put my shirt back on. I don’t know who the hell it is, I’m not taking chances either. I start for the door, just as I hear the front door fly open.
“CRYSTAL!!” Nick’s whiney voice echoes through the house “CRYSTAL…”
Damn cock blocker. I let out a groan, it’s not like he was blocking anything anyways, I was busy getting fucking rejected. So that’s what that shit feels like. I’m so busy, thinking of what an ass I am, that I don’t see Nick charging at me. “You bastard!” he grabs me by the neck and slams me against the wall. What is it with everyone and my neck, fuck?
“NICK!! Let him go, NOW! What is your problem?” Crystal smacks his arms, but his grip doesn't loosen. "NICK CARTER...NOW!"
His lips are pursed in anger, his eye is black, his lip is swollen and busted. "Because of this fucker...they almost killed me. Some men in black came to visit and not to mention that Howie turned out to be...one of them!" Finally he lets go of me.
My hands fly to my neck, as I choke "Mother fucker!" I throw myself at him, knocking the shithead over, he lands on the floor with a thump, and I'm right ontop of him.
"Would you two just stop already..." I hear Crystal yell.
"I came prepared Jack. I know...who and what you are...your a god damn spy. Now, someone is trying to kill you...but I came prepared." I watch as he reaches behind him. Then a gunshot echoes through the house, as he let's out a yelp. "Fuck...I just shot my ass!"
Talk about being a fucking idiot!