Sitting back in his chair he let out a long sigh.  He was not looking forward to the holiday that loomed so close now.  The holidays always seemed easier when Beth was with him.  But she was gone and he was still facing that fact  a year and a half later.  His friends have all tried to get him to move on with his life but its just been so hard.  He didn’t feel he was ready yet.  Tho they hadn’t been married, he felt in his heart that they were.  They had done everything a married couple would have done together.  Everything from live together to almost having a child.  It was that fact that Beth had lost her life.  He felt so responsible for that, what he felt the most guilty about.  Had she not gotten pregnant she would still be with him today, more than likely married.  And he was left with the loss of a soulmate and a child to deal with. 

The phone ringing jarred him out of his deep thoughts.  He reached for the phone and pushed the talk button.

“Hello” he said without even looking at the caller ID.

“Hey Nicky” chirped Howie from the other end of the line.  “Whatcha up to?” he asked.

“Not much at the moment D, what are you up to?” Nick asked.

“Oh just making the final plans to  our Christmas get together with mom and Leigh.  I was calling to see if I could change your mind about coming this year.  There’s still time for you to come.  ” answered Howie. 

“Naw D, but I appreciate the invite.  I’m just gonna hang out here and chill” Nick replied. 

“You sure?  I know how much you love Mom’s cooking” Howie said trying to persuade Nick into coming.  He hated that Nick was going to spend the holidays alone, yet again.

“No really, I’m cool.  There’s some things I want to get done before we meet up again in January” Nick said.

“Well alright, if you’re sure.  If you change your mind it’s an open invitation.  Just show up.  You know that right?” Howie said defeated. 

“Yeah, I know and thank you again.  I’ll catch you in January.  I’ll probably talk to you before then but if I don’t have a great Christmas and tell Momma D I said hi and give her a big hug from me” he said. 

“Alrighty Nicky I will.  Take care of yourself.  I’ll talk to ya later” and Howie hung up the phone. 
Nick turned the phone off and stood up and put phone back on its charger.  He decided to go take a nice hot shower and head to bed early.  He’d get up early tomorrow morning, do his morning workout and then get to work on the tracks he’d been working on.  He wanted to get some down before he and the fellas  met up again in January to start recording the new album.  He was grateful to be recording again.  He was anxious to get started on the new stuff.  He’d hoped it’d help him take his mind off everything. 

He went upstairs and went into the bathroom.  Reaching into the glass walled shower he started it making the water as hot as he could stand it.  In the foggy steam of the room he reached into the linen closet and grabbed a towel.  He disrobed and stepped into the spray relishing the feel of it on his skin.  He stood under the spray for a long time before sudsing up and washing.  Then he washed his hair and rinsed.  Turning the water off he stepped out and toweled dry.  As he did so he looked at the shower and it brought back memories of the times he and Beth had spent in that very shower.  A small smile crossed his face followed by a deep frown.  He had came close to selling this house after she died but had back out of it at the last minute.  He felt it was a way to hang on to the memories of her. Pulling on a pair of fresh boxers and throwing the towel into the hamper he padded his way down to his bedroom.  He pulled back the covers and climbed into bed. 
 
He fell to sleep with a little bit of tossing and turning and his eyelids started to flutter as he began dreaming.  He usually dreamed a lot, especially of Beth.  He figured because she was on his mind all the time.  But not tonight .  He dreamt of someone else.  She was beautiful.  Long dark hair, striking ice blue eyes, and she was wearing a long, white, flowing gown.  He was standing right in front of her and all of a sudden she spread her beautiful snow white wings.  An angel.  Nick gasped and she just smiled at him. 

Nick woke with a start.  ‘Wow’ he thought.  ‘Never had THAT dream before.  Wonder where the hell that came from’ he thought to himself.  Glancing at the clock he noticed it was 7:30am.  “Well” he said aloud to himself “earlier than I wanted but hell, why not.”  He got up and dug through his dresser coming up with a pair of basketball shorts and a black wifebeater.  He grabbed his gym bag and put a new towel in it along with a change of street clothes.  Throwing on his clothes he headed down to the kitchen.  He wasn’t hungry so he just grabbed a couple bottles of water and headed out to his car in the garage.  Climbing into the black Benz he threw the water into the passenger seat and hit the garage door opener.  Clicking on his seatbelt he started up the engine.  He backed out of the garage he hit the garage door opener again and drove to the gym he went to. 

He walked into the gym he was immediately met Jimmy, his trainer. 

“Well Well, lookie what we have here.  Why do early dude?” Jimmy asked with a laugh.

“I know, you think my ass doesn’t roll outta bed till at least 10.  Well normally your right but I woke up early and decided to get an early start” Nick replied. 

“Ok, well you ready to get started?” Jimmy asked.

“Ready when you are” Nick replied. 

Nick took his gym back over and put it in his locker.  Then he went over to where Jimmy was waiting for him.  They worked out for a good hour.  Nick wiped the sweat from his brow for the upteenth time.

“Ok dude, I’m done.  I’m sweating like a pig here.” Nick finally said. 

“I think you’ve done enough today anyway.  Good workout dude” Jimmy said.

Nick slapped him a high five and headed over to the lockers to get his bag then headed to the showers.  After a quick shower he jumped into his car feeling invigorated.  He headed the car towards home. 

Once home he threw his gym back in the corner of his room and collapsed on his bed.  He felt good but tired. 

“Maybe I’ll take a quick nap then get some lunch before I go downstairs and get started” he said to himself. 

He stripped off his clothes down to his boxers and slipped back into bed.  He was asleep almost instantly.  Again, like the night before, he dreamt of the angel.  And like before she just stood there in front of him smiling that radiant smile. 

Suddenly a loud shrill followed by a loud splash woke Nick from his sleep.  He scrambled out of bed and ran to his window.  What he saw scared the shit out of him.  Someone was floating his pool   He quickly threw on the basketball shorts he’d discarded earlier and tore down his steps and out the back door to his pool.  He dove in instantly and swam to the person in his pool.