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Brian and I went to the lawyers office the next day. Chris and Kevin watched the kids.

I sighed as the lawyer was asking Brian all sorts of questions, then the question about the kids came up and I sat up waiting for what he was gonna say.

"I understand you have two children a...," he looked down at the paper "boy and a girl correct?"

"That's right."

"Did you want to have full custody or did you want partial?"

"Partial as in..?"

"Well partial would be you and her both having custody even though you are divorced, you can arrange for a specific time about when she can pick them up, how long she can have them, or if you just want visitation. It's up to you Mr. Littrell."

"Visitation is out of the question, I don't believe in keeping children away from their mother. Is there a way we could split it up like she has them for some of the year and I have them for the rest?"

"Yes there is, but it's very complicated cause then you'd have to enroll them in different schools each time they are with the other parent."

"Oh ok...how about splitting the time up like holidays or whatever?"

"Like I said Mr. Littrell it's completely up to you your the one filing for divorce."

So according to the lawyer I had no say so Brian could choose when or if I get to see them.

"Could we have some time to think about it?"

"Absolutely I understand this is a very hard decision for both of you and you want to do whats in the best interest of the child or in this case children."

"I agree."

So with that said Brian and I signed the papers and were out of the office. We got in the car, and Brian turned to face me.


"Deanna you know I care about you and I always will but we just can't be together anymore, as for the kids we will work this out amongst ourselves without the lawyers ok?"

"Ok."

Brian started the car and drove off.

"Where are you staying?"

"At a hotel nearby until I can get my own place."

"As long as your staying somewhere, but how about we do this. Until you can get settled you can come visit the kids at the house does that sound alright?"

"Yes it does. Have you told them yet?"

"Chris yes Gracie no...she's too young to understand."

"Yeah...I just hope they don't hate me for this."

"They shouldn't and I didn't tell them the whole story, I sugar coated it a bit in a way Chris would understand."

"Oh ok." He dropped me off at the hotel

"Whenever you want to see them just give me a call."

"Alrgiht..."

Brian drove off leaving me in front of the hotel. At least he wasn't taking the kids from me. But Nick he didn't even think twice he filed for full custody of Mel, he didn't want me in her life at all. And who could blame him. I looked up at the hotel and sighed making my way in, this was gonna be my home for god knows how long till I could get my own place.

I never had to worry about that with Nick and Brian, cause they took care of me and now as I rode the elevator up to my floor, I had noone to take care of me. I was on my own.