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Did he get laid? Was the pussy THAT good?'
I rack my brain trying so desperately to figure out what his deal is. First, he fixes breakfast for me, and now, we’re at the park. Am I gonna die or something? I sit at a nearby bench, looking around for huge rocks. That’s how fortunate and non trusting I am of him.

"Forget it, Howard. Nothing is gonna change my mind about that whore."

"Brian, I know you. When you first met her, she was the one. Sure, your children has a half sister now, but I know that love for her is there within you."

"No, it’s NOT! Dorough...she LIED to me...you KNOW how I feel about liars!"

"I’m aware. But you’re masking the fact that you still want to be with that woman, despite her infidelity. Admit it."

"You’re obviously not listening to me, Howie...She cheated on me...Get that through your goddamn head!"

"And YOU’RE IN DENIAL! Face it, Brian, you STILL love Deanna more than anything on this planet! Stop lying to yourself, and take her back!"

Those thoughts of yesterday are still ringing in my ears, taking over my mind like usual. I sit at a bench across from her and the kids, watching them play in the sandbox. I look over at her, looking at rocks. I don’t know why she’s doing that, but hey. I’m gonna have to tell her tonight. I have to. I need to.

Thanks to my feelings and my Oprah bearing friend, Howie, my love for her has returned. Though I thought them dead, they were still laying dormant within my soul. I smile at her sitting over there, so peaceful, so unloved by me. Part of me wanted to pick her up and hold her, apologizing to her, but it’s too soon. I’ll do something like that tonight.

Absentmindedly, the words, 'I’m sorry.' escaped my lips. Deanna looks up at me.

"Did you say something?"

I shake my head negatively, looking down at the kids pretending to be Power Rangers. I mainly look at Grace Lynn, my baby girl. She looks remarkably like her mother. I never told Deanna that, since we divorced 3 months after she was born.

~*~*~*~*~

I lay on my back, looking up at the ceiling, my mind in deep thought. Maybe I should have let her explain. Maybe I shouldn’t have let her go. I trusted her and believed in her. When I found out that she was married to Brian, and had two kids with him, my world collapsed. The thought of her being with someone else ate away at me so badly, that I just couldn’t let that wither away and die. I thought yelling at her and telling her we’re through was it, and that I would spend the remainder of my days forgetting about her...but I was wrong. I can’t stop thinking about her. I mean, even when I’m with other women, I pretend that they’re her. I don’t want to pretend anymore.

I want my Deanna back, but...God, what is wrong with me? Why the fuck am I thinking like this? I’m done with that woman...I want the thoughts of her to leave me alone! I want the feelings that I have for her to stop cutting away at me, making me bleed! Just leave me alone! I don’t want to think about the time we stayed up all night, talking about little things. I don’t want to think about the time when she told me she was pregnant with Melanie...I don’t want to think about the time when I got down on one knee, and proposed marriage. And I surely don’t want to think about the time...when I told her I loved her...That’s it...I have to tell her. Tonight. No exceptions whatsoever.

~*~*~*~*~

After putting the kids to bed, I kiss them each on the forehead, and wish them goodnight. I walk out of their rooms and close the doors.

"Deanna! I need to talk to you! It’s important."

Great. What did I do this time? Leave the milk out? I didn’t wash the dishes right? I walk down the hall, and head downstairs. I’m smacked in the face with the heavenly scent of food either cooking or being prepared. When I walked into the kitchen, I was stunned.

Right there before me was Brian, dressed in a black suit, standing over the kitchen table filled with white lit candles, champagne chilling in the ice holster, two glasses, and slices of lasagna on each plate. I walk in slowly, my mouth down to the floor.

"Brian? What is all of this?" I see him walk up to me, holding the sides of my arms.

"Deanna...I need to talk to you. But first...would you like to have dinner with me?"

I slowly nod, still somewhat confused. I sit down across from him, and start to pick at my food. Brian noticed this.

"What are you doing?"

"Seeing if there’s any cyanide residue in this food..." He laughs at my remark.

"Trust me, I didn’t do anything slick. Just enjoy it."

I weakly smile, showing Brian that I’m somewhat pleased with his change of pace.

Throughout dinner, Brian kept looking over at me, smiling. I finally catch him in the act by looking up at his face.

"What’s the deal...?" I softly ask him. He shifts the plate away from his reach, placing the napkin on the empty plate.

"Alright..." he began. "There is a reason why I did all of this. Deanna, there’s been something that I wanted to tell you since last night, but I figured you didn’t want anything to do with me, so I waited until tonight."

I lean forward, waiting for what he wanted to say. "Well, since you’re on your best behavior, I’m all ears. What is it that you wanted to tell me?"

He took a deep breath, and folded his hands. "Deanna, I–"

Before he could get anything out, the doorbell rings.

"Shit..." I heard him say sharply under his breath. Before Brian could get up, I put my hand on his shoulder and tell him that I’ll get the door. I walk into the living room, and open the door.

"Hello, may I hel–" to my instant surprise, I see someone that I thought I would never see again: Nick. There he stood holding a box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers. I look over at him, wondering why he’s here.

"Um...can I come in?"

"Why? What do you want, Nickolas?"

"I’m here to–I wanted to–can I just come in?"

"I’m not letting you in this house until you tell me."

From a distance, I hear Brian say, "Who is that, Deanna?" He walks in, and stops stone cold in the middle of the living room.

"What in the HELL are you doing here?"

"I came to see Deanna...what the hell are YOU doing here?"

"I live here."

"Oh. But that’s the reason why I came over...can I please talk to you? It’s important..."

I look over at Brian, then to Nick, and sigh.

"Fine."

"But, De–"

"I’ll only be a minute. Whatever you have to tell me, tell me later, ok? I’ll be back..."

Brian surrendered, and walked backwards from us. Nick led me outside and closed the door.