~*~August’s point of view~*~

“You are so beautiful, to me,” Carmen sang loudly. “Can’t you see? You’re everything I’d hoped for…”

“Oh my gosh!” I covered my ears. “Leave the singing up to the guys! Please!”

She didn’t have any music playing yet, but she was holding up the microphone, her voice was blaring through the speaker. She’d gotten several karaoke CDs, including a recently released pop music mix that included I Want It That Way. We’d gotten a kick out of that.

The counter was covered with chips and soda. I’d managed to clean the apartment this week in my spare time. I sat with Diana on the couch, watching Carmen pick a song to perform.

“Oh, come on August, we can sing one together!”

I agreed to Shania Twain’s Man! I Feel Like A Woman with her. I plugged in the other microphone and stood next to her, Diana cheering us on. We were in the middle of the first verse when the doorbell rang.

“Come on in,” Diana called.

Brian, Nick, and Kevin walked in.

I paused, feeling a little ridiculous doing this in front of world famous musicians, but I joined in again when I noticed Carmen hadn’t missed a beat. “Oh, oh ,oh, get in the action feel the attraction. Oh, oh, oh, color my hair, do what I dare. Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free, yeah, to feel the way I feel. Man! I feel like a woman!”

Carmen was dancing a bit with her microphone, eying Nick. I glanced at Brian and rolled my eyes. He grinned back, sitting next to Diana and putting his hands together several times during the parts of the song with no lyrics.

When the song was over, Nick made a pouty face. “I wanted to sing that song!”

I sat next to Brian, worried about how tonight was going to go. I have to, I told myself.

“You’re still welcome to, Nick,” Diana said. “I for one would love to hear your rendition of it.”

“No, I don’t want to steal the thunder from these two wonderful vocalists,” Nick said.

“You guys should definitely sing something!” Carmen said, pulling out the CD case and pointing to the back. “I vote for this.”

She put in I Want It That Way. We pushed the three of them on stage. Nick and Brian shared a microphone since there were only two. Brian scratched his head as the introduction started.

“I’m not sure I know the words to this song.”

Nick started singing, “You are, my fire…”

“Hey, man! That’s my line!”

“You said you didn’t know it… believe when I say, I want it that way!”

Brian, in turn, started singing Nick’s part, but changed the words. “But you, don’t know how to sing. There’s AJ Mclean…”

Laughing, I turned around to see AJ and Natasha walking in.

“AJ say…” Brian sang, still parodying the song.

AJ sang up just in time as Brian held out the mike to him. “I want it that way!”

The four of them sang the chorus. They were nearing the end when Howie showed up.

As they were perofrming the last “I want it that way,” Brian yelled, ‘Take it away, Howard!”

“Cuz I want it that way,” Howie sang with AJ.

The rest of us cheered.

“It’s almost like you do this for a living,” I said to Brian.

He smacked his hands on his cheeks. “No way!”

We opened chips and passed around soft drinks.

I glanced at Natasha. She had purposefully not glanced in my direction once since arriving. I was certain that she was only here because AJ had promised to come, and she wanted to keep an eye on me. As I had nothing to say to her, though, it was actually a relief. The only downside was not being able to talk with AJ, since she was standing next to him. Natasha stood out, too: everyone in the room was dressed casually except for her, wearing what had to be her littlest black dress.

“You all packed?” I turned to Brian, realizing I’d been quiet tonight. I was worried he’d prove once again to sense that something was wrong.

“Almost. That’s what I’ll be doing all of tomorrow.”

I nodded, not knowing what else to say. The more I tried to think of something, the more I drew a blank. Surely he was going to realize something was with me tonight. I looked at him, following his gaze. He didn’t seem to be looking at anything in particular. In fact, he was as distracted as I was. Never had I wished for the ability to read minds more. No wonder he wasn’t sensing my mood. Brian had something on his mind, as well.

“Please, Nick! Please!” Carmen begged. She fluttered her eyelashes.

“Fine,” Nick relented.

Carmen ran to the karaoke machine, skipped to track five, and pressed play. After handing Nick his microphone, she sat on the couch, full of anticipation.

“Oh, baby, baby. How was I supposed to know,” Nick serenaded her. Plugging his nose, he continued, “That something wasn’t right here.”

“Oh my, God. Where’s my camera?” AJ said.

After Nick finished singing his first “Hit me baby one more time,” Kevin called, “You’re out of the group!”

Howie got up there with him, and they started doing some of the dance moves from the music video. As the song was ending, AJ was calling for an encore. Natasha was sulking because the singing had taken AJ’s attention off of her.

Brian slipped his hand into mine as we watched.

I turned to him, wishing I could enjoy the performance as much as everyone else seemed to be. “Hey…”

“Brian, come here a sec,” Kevin interrupted. He and Howie had been discussing something, and it seemed like he wanted Brian’s input on the topic at hand.

Brian looked a little relieved. Whatever was on his mind definitely had to do with me. What a party this was turning out to be. I walked over to Nick and Carmen. They were talking about the first show the Backstreet Boys were doing in Orlando.

“Yeah, they aren’t the greatest seats, but at least you’ll be there.”

“Nick, that’s great!” Carmen gave him a hug. “Hey, August, check this out!” She was holding up the two tickets.

I looked at the one she handed me. We had, of course, wanted to be there for opening night, but it hadn’t become real until this moment. The tour had already gone on sale by the time we’d entered the picture, and every date long since sold out, but we’d been told they’d figure something out for any show we wanted toattend. It was row M, but I wasn’t complaining. Only having the personal Backstreet Boy connections could’ve gotten us something even that close. Since they were performing in the round, it wasn’t as if could watch from backstage.

“Well, Brian and I both wanted you two there,” Nick grinned. “Hopefully, I’ll be able to work something better out for the other shows you go to.”

I took a magnet and pinned both tickets on the refrigerator.

“Ooh,” Diana came up behind me and looked at the seats. “I’ve got front row!” She grinned.

“I don’t want to hear it,” Carmen stuck up her hand and laughed.

I assumed Natasha did, too, since they’d been dating AJ and Howie since before the ticket sale.

I leaned over to Carmen. “You know, if we got Natasha sick or something so that she couldn’t’ go, we could share her seat…”

She laughed some more, giving me a high five. “And that is why we’re best friends!”

My spirits had lifted considerably by the time Brian came back over.

“So Nick gave you your ticket? Good!” he smiled. “You’re coming, right?”

“If you want me there.”

His face lit up. “You know I do.” There was that beautiful sincerity again.

I took a deep breath. “Could I talk to you for a minute?”

Brian instantly noted the change in the tone of the conversation.

“You want to help me give Diana here the official tour?” Carmen was saying.

Diana had never been to the apartment before today. She’d arrived early, but the three of us had gone to the grocery store and then were setting up the living room until the Boys had arrived, so she hadn’t had time to look around yet.

“What?” I said, distractedly. “Oh, no. You go ahead.”

Brian looked worried as I pulled him out onto the balcony.

We could only see a sliver of the moon tonight. Clouds scattered the sky. A few of them threatened some much needed rain. I leaned again the railing, nervous.

“Brian…”

“Hey, Rok. You want to…” AJ had come out. Looking as if he though he’d walked in on the middle of something, he paused. “Nevermind.” Then he gave Brian a big smile, followed by a quick wink, and slid the balcony door shut behind him.

“What was that look for?” I asked.

“Huh?” Brian looked startled.

“That look he gave you…”

“Oh. Nothing,” he said, looking at me intently. “August, what’s up?”

I didn’t answer at first. He put a hand on each of my arms, gently turning me towards him and trying to read my expression. Most of his face was in the shadows, but the blue was his eyes was as visible as ever.

“August?”

“I have something to tell you.”

Maybe this wouldn’t go as badly as I kept envisioning it would. I could explain, after all. And he should know me well enough by now to realize why I’d lied to him. Well, not outright lied. Hid the truth, rather. And it hadn’t been all along, only since I knew how much it would bother him.

Well, that part made it worse, didn’t it? But surely he could see why.

“August,” Brian said my name again. His eyes were full of understanding. I hoped they would stay that way. “What do you need to tell me? I’m getting worried.” He laughed nervously.

I could feel water forming, ever so slightly, in my eyes. Just do it. It’s like a band-aid. Rip it off.

“I want to be honest with you,” I started. “I—“

There was a loud shout inside. Our eye contact broke.

Brian opened the door and we peered inside, making sure everyone was okay.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Natasha said, loudly. It had been her we’d heard, but she wasn’t yelling in anger. She looked incredulous, almost pleased. “Hey, Brian, come here.”

Carmen was sitting on the couch. We exchanged glances, but she didn’t know any more than I did.

Brian removed his hand from the small of my back. He’d placed it there, protectively, when we had heard the shout. He walked over to Natasha.

To my horror, she led him into my room. What had she been doing in there?

The five second walk across the living room felt like an eternity. I could feel everyone’s eyes darting from me to my room, curiously. I stood in the doorway.

The Backstreet Boys poster was sitting on my bed.

My heart stopped. I turned to Brian, about to launch into a series of explanations. I stopped when I saw his face.

Brian was staring at my computer screen.