“Brian, can I talk to you for a second?” Kevin took me aside from the others.

“Yeah, cous. What’s up?”

“You okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Seriously,” he pressed.

There was a lot of excitement going on around us. The stage crew was double checking every minor detail. We were dressed in blue, futuristic outfits for our opening songs. I could hear AJ, Nick, and Howie chatting nearby, checking their mikes and waiting to be hooked up to the harnesses to fly out to the stage.

“I’m fine,” I repeated, as if I had no idea what he was talking about.

“We have a lot of fans out there. They’re counting on us to give them what they paid for,” he peered down at me, brow furrowed. “A good show.”

“Yeah, Kevin. This isn’t my first day as a Backstreet Boy you know. I have performed once or twice.”

“Brian, I’m not joking around.”

That was stating the obvious. His arms were crossed in an intimidating manner, though I couldn’t tell whether it was intentional or simply Kevin… being Kevin. I didn’t know why I was getting this talking to. My vocals had been flawless during soundcheck. Better than his even. Kevin was over thinking everything. Once he got on stage and loosened up, he’d be fine. The stress would slowly fade away.

The fact that I’d sounded my best today had actually surprised me. I was running on a few hours sleep, which wasn’t ideal when I had so much singing and dancing to do tonight. When the clock struck two AM, there was no other choice that I could think of. I took some cold medicine that always put me to sleep. I needed some rest, and I wouldn’t have gotten any if I hadn’t acted. After all, I couldn’t be anything less than energetic to pull off this show.

I woke up this morning still tired, but the remnants of three cups of coffee, coupled with an energy drink this afternoon, were still with me. And, luckily, the adrenaline was kicking in. I could hear fans chanting: Backstreet Boys… Backstreet Boys… Backstreet Boys…

There was no time to think about anything, or anyone, else. I was a professional. I had a job to do.

“I’m not either, Kev,” I assured him.

Kevin stared at me intently, then nodded. I started to turn around, but I felt his hand on my shoulder. A second later, he was enveloping me in a hug. With a big pat on the back, he released me. “It’s going to be okay.”

Focus on the show.

We headed over to the other three guys. It was time for our pre-show tradition. What we did every concert. Some of the dancers joined our circle, too, for the group prayer.

I often led it, but Kevin did today. I was more than happy to relinquish the task over to him. He all huddled together.

God, please let this show go well, I thought.

A minute later, I was standing on a surfboard and listening to the introduction of Larger Than Life. We were raised into the air, the screams getting louder as we came into view.

My heartbeat sped up. I was more than ready to get lost in performing, in the music. To leave all my troubles behind.

And sing.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Great show!” AJ came up afterwards.

We were in the dressing room, changing out of our sweaty clothes. I peeled off my blue shirt and threw it at him. “Was there ever any doubt?” I grinned.

All of our hard work had paid off. The crowd had been amazing. The fans already knew every lyric to Millennium, as well as songs from Backstreet Boys and Backstreet’s Back. The singing was especially loud and clear during I Want It That Way. There was something magical about a stadium of people singing the same song. This tour was going to be the best ever.

“Listen, I didn’t want to bring this up before the concert,” AJ turned serious, glancing at the floor. “I wanted to let you know that Natasha and I broke up yesterday.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “For real this time,” he said, adamantly. “It’s not just a fight. We’re through.”

“How come?”

“How come, what?” AJ tilted his head to the side.

“Why did you two break up?”

AJ stared at me. “You’re kidding, right?” He grabbed his fresh clothes out of a duffel bag.

I shook my head, then wiped my forehead with a towel.

“It’s not right what she did, setting you up like that…”

“Setting me up? She pointed out the truth.”

“The truth? Man, she was just trying to screw with you and August.”

I ignored the pang in my chest at the mention of her name. “Thanks to her, I saved myself from getting into a relationship. I’m grateful.” I sat down and pulled on my tennis shoes. “Don’t get me wrong, AJ. I think you’re better off without her, to be honest. She wasn’t good for you. But don’t end things on account of me.”

He didn’t seem to believe his ears. “How can you not be pissed at her? She was just aiming at August, but she got both of you. She sabotaged what you had.”

“By revealing the truth?” I repeated again. “I know what her intentions were, AJ. Like I said, I think you’re better off without her. But honesty is the most important part of a relationship, and August and I didn’t have that. I don’t know why it’s bothering all of you so much. It’s not bothering me.”

He raised an eyebrow, skeptically, but said nothing. “Well, either way. I’m sorry. And I can’t be with someone who would even think about treating my friends like that.”

I nodded, smiling slightly. “Thanks.”

Before I knew it, AJ was giving me a big hug, rocking me back and forth playfully.

He was the second Backstreet Boy in a matter of hours to do this. Nick came in the dressing room a few seconds later and ran over to us.

“Aw, group hug!” he said.

Third, I counted. I half expected Howie to appear at any second.

“You guys are crazy!” I laughed, jumping out of the AJ and Nick sandwich.

“You are coming out with us tonight to celebrate, right?” Nick asked.

“Of course,” I said. “What else do you think I’d be doing?”

Nick didn’t seem to know how to answer that question. Instead, he shrugged, looking uncomfortable.

I ignored it and got my stuff together. The stage crew was ready to start dismantling everything. We had buses waiting for us. None of us would be going home tonight, having to leave so early in the morning. The tour had officially started, though we hadn’t left town yet. And we couldn’t have driven ourselves anyway. I could only imagine trying to get out of the parking lot of if any fan spotted and recognized me.

I’d be surrounded. And that situation could actually become really dangerous.

Howie and Kevin were already outside by the buses. Two girls were with them. Once we got closer, I realized it was Diana… and Carmen. I’d forgotten she was even going to be here. But, of course, she was Nick’s girlfriend now. She would want to see him perform. The same for Diana. They wanted to support their boyfriends on their big night…

I wondered how it was going to be, interacting with August’s best friend, but I kept my face straight. There was no turning around now, even if I wanted so.

Nick ran straight to her. “What’d you think of the show?”

“I think that you were amazing!”

I felt a wave of jealously. I pushed it aside.

She was grinning at him, obviously proud. When she saw me, her smile faltered. “Hey,” she said, uneasily.

“Hi. How are you?” I said, as friendly as I could be. Carmen studied me. “I’m good. You did a great job tonight, too.”

She said it sincerely, but she didn’t sound happy about it for some reason. I said thanks, anyway. Her expression was guarded, the opposite of August’s, which was so often an open book.

Or so I’d thought, anyway. I suddenly noticed it wasn’t just the three of us participating in this conversation. Several sets of eyes were staring at us. I rolled my eyes, but not so much that anyone noticed. Did they expect a scene between Carmen and me? I was glad this day was almost over. Everyone seemed to be expecting me to go off at any moment. What they thought I’d do, I wasn’t sure. But they were waiting for something. Eventually, they would have to realize that I was exactly what I said.

Fine.

“Um,” Nick glanced back and forth between the two of us. “We all ready to go?”

“Yep,” I said cheerily.

I could feel Carmen watching me as I got on the bus.

We didn’t go anywhere very fancy. There was a nice restaurant downtown with a VIP section in the back. We rented it out for us and the dancers, as well as some of the stage crew who weren’t currently dismantling the stage. I ordered a huge piece of chocolate cake for dessert. I was always starving after performing. Usually, I would worry about the sugar keeping me up. But I knew I’d have another restless night, anyway, so why not indulge?

And I enjoyed every bite of it.

Carmen was studying me throughout the evening. I was sitting with Kevin and one of the dancers, but I noticed her periodically looking at me when in conversation with Nick. A few times, she’d say something to him and then Nick would be glancing at me, too.

Apparently, they’d never seen a man eat a piece of cake before. You’d think it was a once in a lifetime opportunity. I finally returned their gaze, wondering if they wanted anything. They just smiled, looking caught, and turned back to each other.

As the time approached one o’clock, we started saying good bye for the night. My bus was waiting for me. The poor driver had some miles to cover tomorrow. For a split second, I was sure Carmen wanted to say something to me. She was nearby, caught my eye, and started to come towards me. But she stopped, waved, and finished saying goodbye to Nick.

I let out a sigh of relief. I headed out the back entrance of the restaurant and go to my bus, alone at last. I brushed my teeth and hopped onto my bunk. Physically, I was exhausted. Maybe I could get some sleep after all. I certainly hoped so.

The day was over. The concert had gone great and I’d chatted with everyone, enduring all the interrogations, some more blatant than others. Feeling I’d passed the unspoken test with flying colors, I closed my eyes and willed sleep to come.