~*~August’s point of view~*~

By the time the others came back outside, we’d already started to get out of the pool.

AJ had exclaimed, “You guys had a party without me?” Luckily, he was more amused than left out and obliged when Brian asked if he had any towels.

We sat around the deck, just talking and relaxing. The guys probably didn’t get to do a whole lot of this. Especially not with the impending tour. I was glad I’d already met Nick. And Brian, of course. I felt like I’d worked my way up to meeting them as a group, which had done a great deal in calming my nerves. It was a regular summer night, really.

If you ignored the mansion. And the pool.

Oh, and the fact that they were five of the most famous people on the planet right now.

Carmen was talking to Nick, constantly flashing him smiles. Brian was discussing a management issue they were having with Howie, so I turned to talk to AJ, who I was also sitting next to. “Do you like living in your new house?”

“August, who wouldn’t love living here?” he peered at me over his sunglasses. “I mean…” he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and gestured towards the house with his other hand and then laughed.

“I see your point,” I laughed.

At this point, Natasha, who’d gone to use the restroom, reappeared and sent me a dirty look.

“Hey, babe,” AJ motioned her to come over.

She sat next to him, tossing her long dark hair over her shoulder as she did so. I noticed a butterfly tattoo on her shoulder blade. Natasha was pretty, there was no denying it. She had an olive complexion and was as tall as AJ. If only she was capable of a facial expression besides a glare.

“Will you get me something to drink, Alex?”

I wondered why she hadn’t grabbed something on her way out here. But AJ obliged. Now, I was left next to her.

“So how do you and your friend know AJ?” she asked, trying to sound casual.

“Umm… well I’m… friends with Brian.” I didn’t really know what else to call him. We’d really only gone out of one date. I immediately regretted my words, though.

“Friends?” she asked. “Well, AJ and I are more than friends.”

“I’m happy for you.” I didn’t know what else to say.

She stared at me for a few seconds, as if sizing me up.

I hoped Carmen would bail me out of this awkward conversation, but she was fully engrossed in whatever Nick was saying. I turned to Brian and was more successful. He glanced back a few seconds later, then muttered something to Howie. Howie looked at us before nodding at Brian, smirking slightly.

“So what am I missing over here?” Brian came and sat between us, a friendly smile on his face.

“Oh, nothing much. I was just talking to your new friend,*” Natasha told him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A little later, we moved to the living room and turned on AJ’s big screen TV to MTV. Kevin and AJ went to play a game of pool in the gameroom, and Howie and Natasha decided to watch. Nick seemed to be waiting to see whether or not Carmen was staying before he made his decision.

“Wow! They’re actually playing music, it’s a miracle!” Brian laughed, putting his hands on each side of his face and opening his mouth in amazement. “Music videos on music television… ingenious.”

One music video ended, and then “I Want It That Way” came on. Brian had already turned around to talk to AJ.

I pointed to the TV screen. “That guy looks kind of familiar.”

He looked at the Brian on the screen, who was singing, “You are my fire. The one desire. Believe when I say…”

Turning to m, he joined his TV self for, “I want it that way.”

“This song is so overplayed,” I rolled my eyes.

“Say what?” His country accent revealed itself a little, so that it sounded more like “saay whut?” He slung his arm around my shoulder and, even louder, saying along with Nick’s part. “Can’t reach to your heart, when you say, I want it that way…”

“What does this song even mean?” Carmen asked, staring at the video. “I don’t get it.”

“You mean the video doesn’t help?” AJ laughed.

“Umm… you guys are standing in an airport right now. Not helping,” she responded.

Nick smiled, staring at the screen. “It means… well, it’s obvious, isn’t it?”

“Wow.”

“What?” Nick asked her.

“Here I was feeling like a dumb blonde, and you don’t get it either do you?” she put her hands on her hips. “It’s your song. How can you not understand your hit single?”

Nick stuttered for a few seconds. “Oh, look…”

The music video had just gotten to the part where a group of fans were standing in the airport hanger, waving signs and trying to get the attention of whatever Backstreet Boy was closest to them.

“Aw, man, August, if only you’d come across this guy sooner,” she jerked her thumb at Brian. “We seem to have missed out on our fifteen minutes of fame. I could’ve done *that.*” She looked at one of the girls on the TV screaming.

I laughed, still enjoying the fact that I was standing in the same room as the people in the music video.

“Yeah, I’m sure you would’ve been the perfect fans,” Nick said to us, and then looked to Brian, seeing if he’d caught the joke.

Brian shook his head. “I’m the funny one in the group, you’d do well to remember that.”

“They were all really nice,” Nick said. “But they get pretty crazy, too. They were hoping for advanced copies of the CD!” he grinned.

I started to say that I’d gotten the CD the day it had come out. This had been the first opportunity for me to bring up like their music without seeming like one of the crazy girls on the screen. The mood was lighthearted; we could laugh at it. I could point out Carmen for being an N’SYNC fan. We’d laugh some more. Good times. Brian knew me well enough by now not to think anything of it.

“I-“ I started.

“Anyway, you guys wouldn’t even be here if you’d been a fan in the video,” Nick said.

“What do you mean?” Carmen said.

“Brian doesn’t like fans.”

“Huh? Nick, what are you talking about?” he had a tinge of country twang again. “You know I love the fans.”

“Yeah, but…”

AJ entered the room and said, “Anyone else wanna challenge me? I’m on a roll!”

He’d beaten both Kevin and Howie, who followed him into the living room with defeated looks on their faces.

“Maybe you should be practicing for Fatima a little more, and pool a little less…” Kevin said.

“Good game, AJ,” Howie said. The argument was still friendly, but he didn’t seem to want to chance the potential for it to escalate.

I glanced from Nick to Brian, hoping they would resume their conversation, but their attention had already returned back to the TV. Brian sat down on the couch, moving over to give me enough room to sit next to him.

We stayed another hour or so, until Carmen noticed the time.

“Well, I hate to ruin the party…” she glanced at Brian, “but some of us have to work in the morning.”

I groaned. I had to be up before she did.

“No problem,” Brian got up immediately. “See ya later, AJ.”

“Bye, man. Thanks for coming,” they did a short but practiced handshake, and I couldn’t help but laugh a little.

We said our goodbyes. To everyone except Natasha, that is. She chose that moment to look for something in her purse, but I didn’t mind. I hoped I wouldn’t have to see much of her in the future.

We drove back to our apartment, and Brian walked us inside.

“It’s been fun,” she said to Brian. “Thanks for inviting me! Call me anytime you’re going to tour another mansion,” she flashed a smile and went into her room to get ready for bed.

“I can’t take her anywhere!” I said, as we headed out to the balcony.

He let out a laugh. “This was fun, though. I’m glad you guys could come. Sorry I kept you out past curfew!” he joked. “And I’d been under the impression that your summer consisted of watching TV and sleeping…”

“Well, it was certainly good while it lasted!” I said. I thought about Nick’s comment earlier. Casually, I said, “Of course, if I’d gotten a job as an extra on that video, maybe I could’ve stayed later tonight. So you have no one to blame but yourself!”

“Next time I need someone to put on a t-shirt with my picture on the front of it and scream at me, I’ll let you know,” he promised, smiling and leaning against the rail.

“Is someone a little contemptuous against the fans?” I asked, still trying to sound casual. “Nick…”

“Oh, no. Nick was just kidding. I mean, without the fans, where would I be? They’re the key for us being able to do what we do.”

I nodded. “I guess I misunderstood him when he said we wouldn’t have been here tonight.”

“Well, he’s just talking about what I’ve said about you…” he fumbled with his keys.

I hoped he couldn’t see the red in my cheeks. “Uh-oh. You’ve been talking about me?”

“Yeah,” Brian looked up, staring at me for several seconds. “Good things, though. Well, mostly…” he added with a half-smile.

“Mostly?” I started to question him, but he leaned in closer. I barely had time to catch my breath and appreciate the blue of his eyes, with a hint of moonlight reflected in them, before he kissed me.

A few seconds later, I was smiling and lightheaded.

He grinned sheepishly back. It was a wonderfully awkward moment. We both tried to think of something to say.

“Actually I’ve told him nothing but good things about you.”

“That’s nice to know,” I had trouble keeping my voice calm. Then, finally able to start clearing my thoughts, I said, “But what does that have to do with Nick talking about the fans?” I was still puzzled.

“Well, I don’t do this with fans.”

He meant he didn’t kiss them, I assumed. “Much to their dismay, I’m sure.”

He rolled his eyes. “I mean… And it’s not the fans specifically,” he contemplated this for a moment. “I’ve just realized how careful I need to be about who I trust and who I let into my life. I don’t want to always be surrounded by people who are caught up with me being a Backstreet Boy. That’s who I am, but that’s not all I am. You know?”

I nodded. But I had the feeling that I still wasn’t grasping something.

“I just wouldn’t want to be with someone who I couldn’t be sure I could trust. You know why you stood out so much when I met you?”

“What?” I felt my stomach sinking slightly.

“You didn’t recognize me. Do you know how rare that is these days? You were just you, and I was just me. That’s really all Nick was saying anyway, although he was just trying to make fun of me!” Brian laughed. I got the feeling that he hadn’t planned to really get into this matter, but he obviously hadn’t minded too much since he was complying to answer my inquiries. “I’d never know if they really liked me for me. .. So I wouldn’t… couldn’t, really ... date, for lack of a better word, a fan. Ever.” Brian said this firmly, looking at the moon, his thoughts suddenly far away.

Any elation I’d been feeling just a moment before vanished. This was not good.