It was funny, really. Ironic. Not that I could appreciate it at that particular moment, but I would be able to later, no doubt. I’d had the thought that this would happen, and it came true.

Except for the part where they carried Nick off. They were teenyboppers to be sure. Four or five of them, looking to be about sixteen. Their scream had caused everyone within hearing range to poke their heads out. Several middle school-age girls started rushing down the one of the book aisles. I’d even seen a grown man pulling out a camera.

“Uh, time to go!” Nick had screamed, pushing me out the door.

We’d literally had to run to the car, several of the sixteen year olds chasing us. Nick sped out of the parking lot.

Now, sitting in our living room again, they were laughing.

“Now that was fun,” Carmen said. “You certainly get your work-out being famous.”

“Oh, yeah, because the ten hour rehearsal today didn’t quite do the trick.”

Carmen pulled two soda cans out of the fridge, throwing one to Nick. She looked at me, but I shook my head. “Now, I thought we’d finally snapped you out of your mood.”

“Does that book have anything to do with why Brian’s been weird this week?”

Nick choked on his soda. “Uh… what book?”

“What You Wanna Know: Backstreet Boys Secrets Only A Girlfriend Can Tell You.” I said, sitting down in the chair opposite the couch.

“Well, I did say it had nothing to do with you.”

“What…”

“Just call him. Or wait until he calls you. It’s his business. I ain’t about to start gossiping.”

“Oh, so hearing it from Howie, who heard it from AJ, who heard…”

“No! AJ heard it from Howie. See, it’s completely different,” he teased Carmen. “Well, thanks for the Pepsi. I have another early morning ahead of me. I’ll see you guys later.”

Carmen walked him out. I went to bed, wondering what all the fuss was about this stupid book that had Brian so bent out of shape.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Needless to say, the next day I went back to the bookstore and picked up a copy. My curiosity was overwhelming. I wasn’t going to attempt to call Brian again. The thought was mortifying. I could grow old waiting for him to call me. No one else would tell me anything, so what other choice did I have?

It wasn’t that long of a novel; more like a novella. From the way it was written, the target audience must’ve been rather young, too. Simple sentence structure, not very detailed. Most of the “hot” questions that were supposedly answered were simply skirted around. But it was very detailed in that nothing in the book should’ve been published, as far as I was concerned. How could someone who had loved him sell out their relationship? From Brian’s reaction, this publication could hardly meet his approval.

I mainly skimmed the book. I kept feeling like I was reading a diary, coming across information I wasn’t supposed to be privy to.

I found my good old VHS again, fast-forwarding until I reached That’s What She Said. I felt like I was hearing the song for the first time. But just when you think that you can trust that someone you love, tell me why, oh, do you know how stars can fall from above.

The lyrics were heartbreaking. I felt irrational tears begin to form in my eyes. Poor guy.

I made a quick decision, before I could talk myself out of it. I got Nick’s phone number from Carmen.

~*~Brian’s point of view~*~

I’d come back to my apartment for lunch. The other guys had gone out to eat, but I didn’t accept the invitation. I didn’t want to subject them to my horrible mood anymore than I had to.

Which was present quite often so far this week.

My singing had not been up to par today. Hopefully after I got some food into my system, my head would clear. I needed to focus. I was about to bite into my sandwich when the phone rang.

“Mmllo,” I answered, then swallowed my food.

“Hey, Brian. What’s up?”

“Umm… Nothing. I'm doing the same thing you are.” We were going to be seeing each other again in less than an hour. “Something wrong?”

“No. I just wanted to let you know, I talked to August a litte while ago.”

I set my sandwich back down. Suddenly, my appetite was gone. “Oh.”

She was probably somewhere cursing me right now. I really needed to call her and I knew it. I just hadn’t been able to deal with her this week. How could I explain “it’s not you, it’s me.” Because it really was me who was the problem.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to talk to her. I did. But…

“Can we talk about this later?”

“I just wanted to give you a heads up…”

The doorbell rang, and I barely heard him. “Nick, someone’s at the door. I’m going to have to call you back.”

I clicked the phone off and threw it on the couch, then answered the door. August was standing there, fidgeting with her car keys.

“Umm… hey,” I said. What was she doing here? “Come on in,” I moved over.

“Thanks,” she stepped inside beside me.

The awkward silence had simply moved two feet. Great.

“Uh,” I stuttered again, wondering why I was so nervous. I wasn’t ready to talk to her yet.

“I’m sorry to just drop in like this,” August said, staring at me for a few seconds.

“No, it’s no problem.” I probably didn’t sound that convincing. I wondered how she’d gotten the address, but deductive reasoning told me that this was why Nick had called.

Thinking back to that conversation, I suddenly noticed how pale she looked. “Are you okay?” I grabbed her arm.

August had been thinking about something, but I’d snapped her out of it, startling her in the process. After jumping slightly, she said, “Uh, yeah.”

She didn’t look alright.

“I really just wanted to…” she stopped. After opening her purse, she pulled something out.

Of all the things I would’ve guessed, this would’ve been the last.

“Where did you get that?” my voice seemed to be raising itself.

“The bookstore,” August said.

“Oh, funny,” I said, sarcastically.

Her eyes widened. “I wasn’t trying to be funny. I saw this at… the bookstore.”

“And bought it, apparently,” I crossed my arms.

“Well,” her face reddened, “yes, but…”

“But what?”

“You’ve been, you know, different this week. I figured that this was why. I mean, it was just released. And you didn’t call…”

“We talked two days ago,” I shot back. “It hasn’t been that long.”

She stuttered, not knowing what to say. “You’re right, but I could tell something was wrong.”

I didn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry I bought it. I just…”

“Did you read it?”

“What?”

I repeated the question.

“Well, sort of…”

“So yes.”

“I think it’s horrible that she exploited you like that. This isn’t anyone’s business except for the two of…”

“And yet you read it!”

We stared at each other. August’s mouth was moving, but no words were coming out. I was breathing hard.

“You had no right,” I said.

“What was I supposed to do? Out of nowhere, you stop talking to me, and I had no idea why! I still don’t really know why,” she had started to yell, too.

“So the solution is to invade my privacy?”

“By purchasing a published book, available to anyone across the country? Do you know how many of your fans are probably curled up on the couch, reading this book even as we speak?”

August looked into my eyes and immediately realized that this hadn’t been the right thing to say.

“Wow, thanks for pointing that out! I hadn’t realized that!” I rolled my eyes. “Anything else you’d like to add? Huh? Yeah, I didn’t call. So what? There’s nothing that says I have to. We’re not… anything.”

Her eyes looked watery. Maybe I’d made the same blunder. That had been the worst thing for me to say, but I was too angry to take back the words.

“I shouldn’t have to explain myself!” I yelled again, hoping it would make me feel better. It didn’t.

August stood there for what seemed like an eternity. “So… do you still…” she trailed off.

“What?” I demanded.

“Do you still love her?”

That floored me. The question surprised me more than her pulling out the book in the first place.

She nodded, as if I’d answered. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…” she gestured towards the book still in her hand. “I’m sorry,” she said again, and left, closing the door softly behind her.

The effect would have been the same if she had slammed it.