Written by Deanna, copyrighted. 2005
I stared at the closed door cradling my daughter in my arms. I couldn't and didn't want to believe what had just happened. My husband who I loved dearly walked out on me and our daughter Alexis.
The five words that played over and over again in my mind were 'I don't love you anymore.'
How could he say that? How could he just throw away two years of marriage? And for who his skanky secretary, the Bitch. Shes been out to get him for some time now, she knew damn well he was married. But she didn't let up she didn't care.
And now as I stood rocking my little girl all I could think of was 'why?' Why did he do this to me, to Alexis? She wasn't even old enough to understand shes only 3 months old. He had told me he never wanted kids, but when I got pregnant with Alexis he claimed he changed his mind about the subject. Boy did he have me fooled.
And as the months passed and my belly grew the more distant he became. He would stay later at the office claiming he had work that he needed to finish. Oh it was work alright, that is if you consider fucking your secretary work!
I walked upstairs still cradling Alexis. I took her to her room and placed her in her crib. She cried a little before I put her pacifier in her mouth then she was quiet. I really felt for her, she didn't understand what was going on. As she looked up at me with her brown eyes I couldn't help but cry. This wasn't fair to her, she didn't deserve this.
I placed my hand on her forehead rubbing gently, brushing back the little bit of hair she had. She looked so peaceful laying there looking up at me making little sucking sounds as she sucked on her pacifier. She fell asleep a little after.
I leaned in and kissed her forehead whispering "Don't worry baby everything is going to be ok I promise," and I left the room still crying.
* 2 months later *
The longest two months of my life as I waited for my divorce to become final. He had given full custody to me, he didn't want anything to do with Alexis, the bastard. The only thing/person that kept me from losing my mind was my neice Haylee. Her and Alexis were all I had left in this world. She was there for me telling me it was going to be ok. A 10 year old was telling me it was going to be ok, when she herself had no idea what was going on. I loved my neice dearly she was like a daughter to me and a big sister to Alexis or Alex as she calls her. If it wasn't for her I don't know what I'd do.
Since that fateful day just two months ago I swore off men. I promised myself that I wouldn't get caught up in a relationship again. Because now it just wasn't my heart on the line but Alexis's as well. I wasn't about to bring another man into her life not knowing if he was going to hurt her like her father did.
But someone did come into my life and I'm very grateful he did. And whats even better Alexis adores him.
So I broke the promise I had made to myself, but how was I supposed to know I'd find him. It was totally unexpected.
I mean think about it he's famous and I'm well...me.